What Really is True Love? Part one

I only this year understood what true love is and have only just now realised why I am here, on this site. For someone my age this is a revelation that has been a long time coming. I was directed here by an acquaintance because of the blogs, articles and forums, and I knew I was here to learn something but I didn't know what.
I have gone through life in a myopic state as far as marriage, family and relationships were concerned. Possibly everything I ever did, was done without benefit of being able to see what it was, exactly, that I had done. It is not that I didn't really see everything, because I did and I always knew from being a child, that everything one does is subject to perceptions, but it is my perceptions which I now question. For example; if one puts the same information into ten different computers, one would get ten answers exactly the same, however, if one feeds the same information to ten different people, one would receive ten different perceptions of that information. None, or all of which, may be correct in their own way.
Men will often say that women are illogical because they have a different perception of things and yes, many people will allow that one must take into account other peoples point of view. It is however, not where they are looking from, that may be different, but their whole perception of events. People on apposite sides of a stadium watching a match of some kind will certainly have a different point of view but that is not what is relevant. It is the perception of the events witnessed which is important.
A very dear friend recently sent me an acapella song, on the pretext that it was really good acapella. The song was, “give my love to your new lover” but the penny didn't drop! We were lovers once but are very good friends still and have been so for many years now, providing support whenever needed. Even there, I believe I have been remiss and can think of at least one instance when she needed support and I didn't give it because of my stilted viewpoint, warped perception and in that instance, bigoted attitude. Anyway, the coin did drop eventually and I realised why she had sent the song.
Since my marriage broke up and that, I now realise, was entirely my fault, I have had a number of relationships, trying to find my new soul mate. Some were short term by agreement, especially the ones with much younger women. Others were potentially good relationships which could have blossomed but I wasn't satisfied for whatever stupid reason and ended them, on occasion cruelly, I now realise. The two most recent were the opposite, I even proposed to one of the girls who laughed and said, “I should have thought you'd had enough of that!” Each in turn dumped me and I was so badly hurt, not being able to understand what had happened, or why. Then, recently, when I was writing, which is what I do for a living these days, I found one of my own characters was giving me a slap round the head and making me look at what I had done. She sowed the seeds which helped me to now see, how self centred and blind I had been. And that was simply a scenario I was creating, in a book, which I am still writing. Because it is a love story, I came to this site to learn whatever it was I needed to know. Or if you like, I was sent here by the Universe because I wasn't understanding the information I had in my head.
Now perhaps, you will be able to see that I couldn't possibly have met my next soul mate before, because I wasn't ready, and would probably have hurt her and cast her aside like I did everyone else. How and why my ex-wife hung on for so long I will never understand, but much credit is due to her for such steadfastness and loyalty to an imbecile.

Contd