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I've been on various dating sites for more than 15 years and I've seen some really beautiful women and their many photos. Usually, the best ones are studio work... professionally done. I've known a few women who have paid a few hundred dollars for a group of photos, often with borrowed clothing from the photo studio wardrobe room.

Naturally, these photos and the aura created by the photographer and crew cannot be matched. Their special photo (or group of photos) had perfect makeup and lighting.

Unfortunately, many women aren't ready to move on from the appearance they once had and continue to lure men with outdated magical photos. I've seen this scenario hundreds of times. I've also seen a radical difference in a 10 year old photo and a recent photo.

If you're honestly looking for a mate, a primary photo that is more than 10 years old should be retired or... put in the back part of your collection.

I see this in the professional world too. Stopping by an open house to see how some of the other (up for sale) neighboring condos are presented. A realtor handed me her card. I would not have recognized her comparing her business photo to what she looks like now. Sure... we all change and sure, she probably ordered 5,000 color business cards a few years ago and has to use them up.

Dating sites are different. Luring someone in with a great shot only to see totally different 'real world' photos would probably be a turn-off to the person who came to read your profile.

I look at it this way... If you are putting your best foot forward, be sure the other foot is strong enough to stand on.

I saw this today and blinked and read it again and hello? Although this isn't a blog likely to generate the kind of chat I like, I thought maybe you too would enjoy this little lightbulb moment as a weekend gift



Thanks to the people who walked into my life and made it amazing.

And thanks to the people who walked out of my life and made it amazing.

I'm still friends with the people that matter but the false friends, the fakes, the downers, the glum, the takers, the bitchy and the supremely selfish - thank you so very much for removing yourselves when I hadn't had the sense at the time to realize how toxic you were

...but aren't they more like search/introduction/vetting platforms? On CS, it's easy to cast an enormous worldwide (with wise exceptions) net, and to use profiles, other things folks write, HOW they write, what they ask, and lots more, for initial, pre private email chats. By using what CS people write in various features of the site, vetting---along with education, at times, ---can be fun and thorough. Lots of scammers, for sure, but over time, they become easier to ferret out. Personally, I prefer to meet others while out and about in the real world. But I know that these venues can work for the rare fortunate. Also, it's fun to learn about others, their lives and families, and where they live. But for maximum vetting effectiveness, all the sites I know, including the otherwise great CS, could be including many more features to help in these regards. For example, the psychological assessments offered by many sites, allegedly for matching proposes, aren't exactly a love fest of useful validity. But they are fun.

That's what the advertisement for another dating site advertised at the bottom of this site stated.

So, that one "truly works" ???

Maybe it went out and got a part time job ?

....................

Your challenge is:

Name me 5 ugly film stars

Weather or news readers

....perhaps important after finally finding committed romance. I suspect that for some of us, visits to CS represent more than mere searching for a partner. I often see members who clearly state that they are already in a relationship, and are here for other reasons, whatever this might mean. Myself, I wonder if a partner could believe that after linking up, remaining on CS for reasons other than finding someone new, would be a healthful possibility. Perhaps CS could have a dedicated section for such lucky people. Partners might write blogs together.

and the next helpful vetting steps might be looking at blogs, even before chats, and certainly ahead of meetings. CS is great, but as with other sites, the categorical choices for informing others of who we are may not always be useful. 'Social smoking' can represent a butt, not inhaled, a few times weekly---perhaps actually to fit in socially. Or a severe addiction to tobacco. How about 'curvy'? These are merely two examples.

Sure, many searching singles are without children. Or the 'kids' have long left the roost. But in a surprising number of cases, at whatever age, mom or dad still has one or more at home. There are rare cases of children with severe developmental disorders, making life on their own too hard. Parents as saints. Potentially great partners. But mostly, things are quite different. Stepping into a step parent role isn't for the faint of heart, with offspring of any age.The situations where I've seen it work well seem all to have been among the practicing religious. One more thing to think/worry about?