Here is a list of Entertainment Blogs ordered by Last Commented, posted by members. A Blog is a journal you may enter about your life, thoughts, interesting experiences, or lessons you've learned. Post an opinion, impart words of wisdom, or talk about something interesting in your day. Update your blog on a regular basis, or just whenever you have something to say. Creating a blog is a good way to share something of yourself with others. Reading blogs is a good way to learn more about others. Click here to post a blog.
Mr. Wilson Comes to Tea
From the author of The Frigid Midgets, more adventures from Mrs. Crompton’s garden.
1
One morning, bright and early, Wam and Bam tripped out into the garden, as usual, to gather their daily prescription of gooseberries. It was a habit that Mrs. Crompton had encouraged, lest they forget later in the day. There were two gooseberry bushes, and Wam noticed that there was something odd about one of them. When he looked more closely, he could see that its leaves were curled up, and some had a powdery coating.
‘This doesn’t look right,’ he said, holding his chin, as people often do when wanting to make a show of seeming puzzled.
‘We’d better tell Mrs. Crompton,’ said Bam, ‘something will need doing about it.’
‘Oh dear!’ Mrs. Crompton exclaimed, when she saw the bush, ‘what are we going to do about it?’
‘We was thinking you would know what to do about it,’ answered Bam, which was his way of saying that he didn’t know what they were going to do about it.
‘We should get Mr. Wilson to come and have a look at it,’ said Wam, stroking his chin, as people sometimes do when wanting to seem to be giving something serious consideration.
‘Who is Mr. Wilson?’ asked Mrs. Crompton.
‘He’s the gardener at the big house,’ answered Bam, ‘he’s our friend.’
‘But wasn’t he the one who dug up the gooseberry bushes?’
‘It was her ladyship what made him do it,’ said Wam, referring to Mrs. Strong-Cummings, their previous employer at the big house. ‘He didn’t like doing it.’
‘And will he know what to do about our gooseberry bush, do you think?’ asked Mrs. Crompton.
‘If he doesn’t, no one will. He knows all there is to know about gooseberry bushes, and everything else what grows in gardens,’ said Bam, pointing a finger upwards to prove the truth of his statement.
‘It’s his day off tomorrow, we’ll go to the big house and ask him to come and look at our bush,’ said Wam, without touching his chin.
When they were about to set off the next day, Wam went to have a word with Mrs. Crompton:
‘Before we come back with Mr. Wilson,’ he said, ‘I just think you should know that he might not be what you’re expecting.’
‘What do you mean?’ asked Mrs. Crompton.
‘Well he looks a bit unusual, you might say, some folks gets a bit of a shock when they sees him for the first time.’
‘What nonsense,’ said Mrs. Crompton, ‘I don’t mind what he looks like, as long as he can do something about our bush.’
‘Well I just thought I ought to tell you before you sees him.’
1
One morning, bright and early, Wam and Bam tripped out into the garden, as usual, to gather their daily prescription of gooseberries. It was a habit that Mrs. Crompton had encouraged, lest they forget later in the day. There were two gooseberry bushes, and Wam noticed that there was something odd about one of them. When he looked more closely, he could see that its leaves were curled up, and some had a powdery coating.
‘This doesn’t look right,’ he said, holding his chin, as people often do when wanting to make a show of seeming puzzled.
‘We’d better tell Mrs. Crompton,’ said Bam, ‘something will need doing about it.’
‘Oh dear!’ Mrs. Crompton exclaimed, when she saw the bush, ‘what are we going to do about it?’
‘We was thinking you would know what to do about it,’ answered Bam, which was his way of saying that he didn’t know what they were going to do about it.
‘We should get Mr. Wilson to come and have a look at it,’ said Wam, stroking his chin, as people sometimes do when wanting to seem to be giving something serious consideration.
‘Who is Mr. Wilson?’ asked Mrs. Crompton.
‘He’s the gardener at the big house,’ answered Bam, ‘he’s our friend.’
‘But wasn’t he the one who dug up the gooseberry bushes?’
‘It was her ladyship what made him do it,’ said Wam, referring to Mrs. Strong-Cummings, their previous employer at the big house. ‘He didn’t like doing it.’
‘And will he know what to do about our gooseberry bush, do you think?’ asked Mrs. Crompton.
‘If he doesn’t, no one will. He knows all there is to know about gooseberry bushes, and everything else what grows in gardens,’ said Bam, pointing a finger upwards to prove the truth of his statement.
‘It’s his day off tomorrow, we’ll go to the big house and ask him to come and look at our bush,’ said Wam, without touching his chin.
When they were about to set off the next day, Wam went to have a word with Mrs. Crompton:
‘Before we come back with Mr. Wilson,’ he said, ‘I just think you should know that he might not be what you’re expecting.’
‘What do you mean?’ asked Mrs. Crompton.
‘Well he looks a bit unusual, you might say, some folks gets a bit of a shock when they sees him for the first time.’
‘What nonsense,’ said Mrs. Crompton, ‘I don’t mind what he looks like, as long as he can do something about our bush.’
‘Well I just thought I ought to tell you before you sees him.’
I Don't Get The Gold Thing
I'm a pretty good investor. I don't know whether it's my expertise in finance or just luck, but my investment strategies over the years have put me well into the high net worth category.
But after all the years I've been at the game, I still don't get the gold thing. What is this obsession with gold as an investment? I think it's 99% hype and 1% sensible.
If you bought gold exactly 10 years ago today, it would be worth 46% more today.
But if you had bought the stock market exactly 10 years ago today (using S&P 500) it would be worth 133% more today.
And that's in the middle of the worst economic crisis in US history when gold is supposed to be worth so much more and stocks are supposed to be worthless.
Exactly what kind of catastrophe would be necessary for this so-called advantage to owning gold to pay off? Armageddon? If Armageddon happened I think your net worth in tradable currency would be the least of your worries.
Gold isn't a substitute for water. You can't eat it. Are people going to suddenly worry about how fancy they look during the Apocalypse and cause a sudden skyrocketing demand for gold plated medical masks and hand sanitizer bottles? In a catastrophe of the apparent magnitude necessary to get this elusive payoff from gold I think food and water would be much more valuable than some shiny metal object. Heck, even eating paper currency sounds more appetizing than eating gold.
But after all the years I've been at the game, I still don't get the gold thing. What is this obsession with gold as an investment? I think it's 99% hype and 1% sensible.
If you bought gold exactly 10 years ago today, it would be worth 46% more today.
But if you had bought the stock market exactly 10 years ago today (using S&P 500) it would be worth 133% more today.
And that's in the middle of the worst economic crisis in US history when gold is supposed to be worth so much more and stocks are supposed to be worthless.
Exactly what kind of catastrophe would be necessary for this so-called advantage to owning gold to pay off? Armageddon? If Armageddon happened I think your net worth in tradable currency would be the least of your worries.
Gold isn't a substitute for water. You can't eat it. Are people going to suddenly worry about how fancy they look during the Apocalypse and cause a sudden skyrocketing demand for gold plated medical masks and hand sanitizer bottles? In a catastrophe of the apparent magnitude necessary to get this elusive payoff from gold I think food and water would be much more valuable than some shiny metal object. Heck, even eating paper currency sounds more appetizing than eating gold.
"RAMBLIN MAN"..("RAMBLE ON")..(214)
Being On The Road As A Long Distance Truck Driver?..............There Are A Lot Of Things That We See Going On Out Here................Some Of The Things We See? You People Would Not Believe Unless You Saw It For Yourself
This? Is What I Saw Just Yesterday
While Parked In A Service Area On The Indiana Turnpike?
I Saw 2 Ravens (Not Crows... Because Ravens Are Almost Twice The Size Of Crows)
There Was A Pigeon On The Ground...And As He Was Walking? These 2 Crows Came Screaming On Down And Pounced On The Pigeon. And After They Jumped The Pigeon? They Backed Off For Some Reason
The Pigeon Didnt Try To Fly Away... Because You Could See That He Had No Desire To Fly...So He Just Kept Walking...Nice And Calmly... And Eventually?... Got Himself Behind A Soda Machine...(The Ravens Tried To Get At Him... But Couldnt Fit In There Where The Pigeon Was Hiding
In The Meantime? 1 Hawk... Who I Presumed Had Seen This All Take Place From Above?...Swooped On Down To The Ground Where The Ravens Were..(Probably Thinking That This Would Be An Easy Meal)....The Ravens Attacked The Hawk...The Hawk Fled To A Tree...As The Ravens Were Jumping From Branch To Branch To Get At Him
If That Wasnt Enough To See?...About 10 Crows Showed Up Right Away.... And In That Very Same Tree?
It Ended Up Being A... "Three Way Fight"
The Hawk Was Evading The Ravens From Branch To Branch As The Ravens Were After Him...And At The Exact Same Time?
Those Crows Were Attacking The Ravens As The Ravens Were Attacking The Hawk...Then? Another Hawk Showed Up And The Fight Was On!
I Wasnt Sure Just What Ta Hell Was Happening...I Was Watching The Hawks Fighting With The Ravens... And The Ravens Were Fighting The Hawks,,,The Crows Were Fighting The Ravens As The Ravens Were Fighting The Hawks And A s The Ravens Were Fighting The Crows
"Then The Three Way Fight Took To Another Tree...And Everybody Was Fighting With Everybody!
Then It Went To Another Tree... And Then To A Tree Further Away... Until The Whole Show Ended Up Where I Couldnt See Them Any More
With All Of This Commotion Going On? I Surmised That The Pigeon Was the One That Was The Smartest
Because... About 10 Minutes Later... After The Fight Of The Century Disappeared Into The Countryside?
Mr Pigeon Came Out From Behind The Soda Machine
And Suddenly?.....He Flapped His Wings...And Just Flew Away!
"Its A Very Strange World Out There Within The Wild Life Community That's For Sure!!
This? Is What I Saw Just Yesterday
While Parked In A Service Area On The Indiana Turnpike?
I Saw 2 Ravens (Not Crows... Because Ravens Are Almost Twice The Size Of Crows)
There Was A Pigeon On The Ground...And As He Was Walking? These 2 Crows Came Screaming On Down And Pounced On The Pigeon. And After They Jumped The Pigeon? They Backed Off For Some Reason
The Pigeon Didnt Try To Fly Away... Because You Could See That He Had No Desire To Fly...So He Just Kept Walking...Nice And Calmly... And Eventually?... Got Himself Behind A Soda Machine...(The Ravens Tried To Get At Him... But Couldnt Fit In There Where The Pigeon Was Hiding
In The Meantime? 1 Hawk... Who I Presumed Had Seen This All Take Place From Above?...Swooped On Down To The Ground Where The Ravens Were..(Probably Thinking That This Would Be An Easy Meal)....The Ravens Attacked The Hawk...The Hawk Fled To A Tree...As The Ravens Were Jumping From Branch To Branch To Get At Him
If That Wasnt Enough To See?...About 10 Crows Showed Up Right Away.... And In That Very Same Tree?
It Ended Up Being A... "Three Way Fight"
The Hawk Was Evading The Ravens From Branch To Branch As The Ravens Were After Him...And At The Exact Same Time?
Those Crows Were Attacking The Ravens As The Ravens Were Attacking The Hawk...Then? Another Hawk Showed Up And The Fight Was On!
I Wasnt Sure Just What Ta Hell Was Happening...I Was Watching The Hawks Fighting With The Ravens... And The Ravens Were Fighting The Hawks,,,The Crows Were Fighting The Ravens As The Ravens Were Fighting The Hawks And A s The Ravens Were Fighting The Crows
"Then The Three Way Fight Took To Another Tree...And Everybody Was Fighting With Everybody!
Then It Went To Another Tree... And Then To A Tree Further Away... Until The Whole Show Ended Up Where I Couldnt See Them Any More
With All Of This Commotion Going On? I Surmised That The Pigeon Was the One That Was The Smartest
Because... About 10 Minutes Later... After The Fight Of The Century Disappeared Into The Countryside?
Mr Pigeon Came Out From Behind The Soda Machine
And Suddenly?.....He Flapped His Wings...And Just Flew Away!
"Its A Very Strange World Out There Within The Wild Life Community That's For Sure!!
The Frigid Midgets
Part 1
Mrs. Crompton was cycling home to her little cottage in the village when she came upon two diminutive, downcast figures sitting on the grassy bank by the side of the track. She had a very caring nature and so could not help but stop and ask the reason for their sad demeanour.
“We’ve lost our jobs and been turned out of the big house, where we were employed by Mrs. Strong-Cummings, or her ladyship, as we used to call her,” said one of the small characters. “Now we have nowhere to live, and don’t know where our next meal will come from.”
“Oh dear me,” said Mrs. Crompton, “what was your work at the big house, and why were you turned out?”
“We’ve got special talents, as you might call them,” he continued. “We were taken on by her ladyship as pleasure midgets, and she kept us busy most evenings. Then, all a sudden, we lost our urges, and no amount of talent is any good without the urges. She put up with it for about a week before she said as how a pair of frigid midgets was no good to her, and sent us a packing.”
Mrs. Crompton was very moved by their story, although she didn’t dwell for too long on the nature of their previous occupation. “Look’” she said, “I’ve got a large garden, and now I’m getting older, it is too much work for me to look after it properly. I can’t afford to pay you anything I’m afraid, but if you would like to come and look after my garden for me, I will give you food and a place to sleep.”
The midgets looked at one another and their little faces broke into beaming smiles. “Oh yes! they both cried out together.”
“Do you two little gentlemen have names?” asked Mrs. Crompton.
“I’m Wam,” said one, “I’m Bam,” said the other.
“PLeased to meet you Wam and Bam, now if you both jump into the basket on the front of my bicycle, it’s time we were getting home for tea.”
And off they sped along the track, towards the village and Mrs. Crompton’s little cottage.
After tea, when Mrs. Crompton had shown Wam and Bam where they would sleep, the three of them chatted about this and that, and Mrs. Crompton asked the midgets about their life at the big house. They told her about her ladyship’s lavish dinner parties, where she would get them to entertain her guests with their very unusual and amusing party trick. They described how a guest would be asked to put a small, personal object into a wooden box, and they -blindfolded and not allowed to use their hands- would have to identify what that object was. Mrs. Crompton didn’t hear all of the story; she found that she “would quite like another cup of tea”, and went off to make it before it was finished.
Next morning, straight after breakfast, the midgets were shown the garden, and given their instructions for the day. Not much was required of them; all they had to do was remove the dead roses from their stems, and pull up all the weeds from between the rose bushes. They enjoyed the work, and turned out to be very efficient at it. On the second day, they were shown how to tend the herb garden, and how to grow new plants from seed, in the greenhouse.
Mrs. Crompton was cycling home to her little cottage in the village when she came upon two diminutive, downcast figures sitting on the grassy bank by the side of the track. She had a very caring nature and so could not help but stop and ask the reason for their sad demeanour.
“We’ve lost our jobs and been turned out of the big house, where we were employed by Mrs. Strong-Cummings, or her ladyship, as we used to call her,” said one of the small characters. “Now we have nowhere to live, and don’t know where our next meal will come from.”
“Oh dear me,” said Mrs. Crompton, “what was your work at the big house, and why were you turned out?”
“We’ve got special talents, as you might call them,” he continued. “We were taken on by her ladyship as pleasure midgets, and she kept us busy most evenings. Then, all a sudden, we lost our urges, and no amount of talent is any good without the urges. She put up with it for about a week before she said as how a pair of frigid midgets was no good to her, and sent us a packing.”
Mrs. Crompton was very moved by their story, although she didn’t dwell for too long on the nature of their previous occupation. “Look’” she said, “I’ve got a large garden, and now I’m getting older, it is too much work for me to look after it properly. I can’t afford to pay you anything I’m afraid, but if you would like to come and look after my garden for me, I will give you food and a place to sleep.”
The midgets looked at one another and their little faces broke into beaming smiles. “Oh yes! they both cried out together.”
“Do you two little gentlemen have names?” asked Mrs. Crompton.
“I’m Wam,” said one, “I’m Bam,” said the other.
“PLeased to meet you Wam and Bam, now if you both jump into the basket on the front of my bicycle, it’s time we were getting home for tea.”
And off they sped along the track, towards the village and Mrs. Crompton’s little cottage.
After tea, when Mrs. Crompton had shown Wam and Bam where they would sleep, the three of them chatted about this and that, and Mrs. Crompton asked the midgets about their life at the big house. They told her about her ladyship’s lavish dinner parties, where she would get them to entertain her guests with their very unusual and amusing party trick. They described how a guest would be asked to put a small, personal object into a wooden box, and they -blindfolded and not allowed to use their hands- would have to identify what that object was. Mrs. Crompton didn’t hear all of the story; she found that she “would quite like another cup of tea”, and went off to make it before it was finished.
Next morning, straight after breakfast, the midgets were shown the garden, and given their instructions for the day. Not much was required of them; all they had to do was remove the dead roses from their stems, and pull up all the weeds from between the rose bushes. They enjoyed the work, and turned out to be very efficient at it. On the second day, they were shown how to tend the herb garden, and how to grow new plants from seed, in the greenhouse.
online today!
Jenny's oldies.......... Anwser these questions if you can....................
Instead of talking to your plants, if you yelled at them would the still grow? Only to be troubled and insecure?
If I break the laws of Physics do I go to jail?
Will you die if you get scared half to death twice?
If quitters never win, and winners never quit, then who is the fool who said, "Quit while you're ahead"?
Sooner or later doesn't EVERYONE stop smoking
Whose cruel idea was it for the word lisp to have a s in it?
Why does the psychic hotline ask for your credit card number? Shouldn't they already know it?
Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone is going to clean them?
Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?
What's another word for thesaurus?
If you throw your pet cat out the window of your car does it be come cat litter?
Why is it called a TV "set" when you only get one?
How did a fool and his money get together?
Why is it that when you are driving and looking for an address you turn the radio down?
Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?
Why is it that when you transport something by car it is called a shipment but when you transport something by ship it is called cargo?
Why in a country with freedom of speech are there phone bills?
Why is it that when you tell a person that there are 400 billion stars in the sky and he'll believe you, tell him a bench is wet and he has to touch it? ,
Why do fat chance and slim chance mean the same?
If 75% of all accidents occur within 5 miles of home, why not move 10 miles away?
What was the best thing before sliced bread?
Inventions
I'm pretty sure that this lock down will give birth to some inventions, be it good or bad, useful or useless. There will be inventions.
Who knows maybe a pill/cure for the gullible, or those that are embarrassed of their own nationality and always trying to be what they are not?
Here are some of the weird and awesome inventions that were created out of boredom:
LED Slippers.
Ironing Board Mirror.
To-Do Tattoo.
.
Anti-pervert Hairy Leg Stockings.
Mountain Buggy Bagrider Stroller Suitcase.?
Some good ideas.....
Who knows maybe a pill/cure for the gullible, or those that are embarrassed of their own nationality and always trying to be what they are not?
Here are some of the weird and awesome inventions that were created out of boredom:
LED Slippers.
Ironing Board Mirror.
To-Do Tattoo.
.
Anti-pervert Hairy Leg Stockings.
Mountain Buggy Bagrider Stroller Suitcase.?
Some good ideas.....
"CREATION"..("LOSS")..(161)
Why Are You Reading This?....................You Have Not The Intention Of Even Replying Here..............And?....... Of Course I Know It................... And Of Course ...............You Know It Also..........But Yet You Will Read On....... And Why?....Because You Cant Resist Of What It Is Next On Here That I Will Say
"So You Find Yourself In A Lobby.....And You Think... "Am I Really Here?"
"You're Feeling A Ways Far Off....And Over You Comes A Friendly Fear"
"But You're Not In Any Mood.............For Anyone Who Tries To Get Near"
"It's Awfully Hard When You Cant Do.........................What Somebody Else Can"
"So Ashamed Of Your Deficiency ............... You Bury Your Face In Your Hands"
"But In The End It Does Not Matter ...Memories Are Buried There In Your Sands"
"And Here I Go".....................................Telling It Just The Way It Is"
"Here You Come"...........................................With A Lashing Back"
"Until Confusion Reigns"...And Theres Nothing There Left To Lack"
"Some Times You Think That You Will"............"But It Seems That You Always Stop Short"
"Dont Want To Go And Say The Wrong Thing"......And For Sure Dont Want To Be Caught"
"In Something That You Cant Get Out Of"..."Even If You Went On And Fought And Fought"
"Heh.... I Always Tell It Like It Is"...And Because I Asked You Not To Do That Again?"
"All Of Yourself Went Silent"...Christ...... One Would Think Ive Done The Mortal Sin"
"The Loss Aint Mine.... Its Yours"..."Throw Them All Away... In The Throw Away Bin"
"And There I Go"..............................."Im Telling The Truth Again"
"There Aint No Loss ....................When One Was Not Possessing"
"For It Doesnt Matter...................... For When It Boils On Down"
"They Search For The Best".......Theyre Looking..Their Addressing"
(This Blog Is Rated "B"....You Must Have Brains)
"So You Find Yourself In A Lobby.....And You Think... "Am I Really Here?"
"You're Feeling A Ways Far Off....And Over You Comes A Friendly Fear"
"But You're Not In Any Mood.............For Anyone Who Tries To Get Near"
"It's Awfully Hard When You Cant Do.........................What Somebody Else Can"
"So Ashamed Of Your Deficiency ............... You Bury Your Face In Your Hands"
"But In The End It Does Not Matter ...Memories Are Buried There In Your Sands"
"And Here I Go".....................................Telling It Just The Way It Is"
"Here You Come"...........................................With A Lashing Back"
"Until Confusion Reigns"...And Theres Nothing There Left To Lack"
"Some Times You Think That You Will"............"But It Seems That You Always Stop Short"
"Dont Want To Go And Say The Wrong Thing"......And For Sure Dont Want To Be Caught"
"In Something That You Cant Get Out Of"..."Even If You Went On And Fought And Fought"
"Heh.... I Always Tell It Like It Is"...And Because I Asked You Not To Do That Again?"
"All Of Yourself Went Silent"...Christ...... One Would Think Ive Done The Mortal Sin"
"The Loss Aint Mine.... Its Yours"..."Throw Them All Away... In The Throw Away Bin"
"And There I Go"..............................."Im Telling The Truth Again"
"There Aint No Loss ....................When One Was Not Possessing"
"For It Doesnt Matter...................... For When It Boils On Down"
"They Search For The Best".......Theyre Looking..Their Addressing"
(This Blog Is Rated "B"....You Must Have Brains)
A Blog is a journal you may enter about your life, your thoughts, interesting experiences, or lessons you have learned. It's your own page on Connecting Singles that you can update on a regular basis, or just whenever you have something to say. You can write about an opinion, impart words of wisdom, or talk about something interesting in your day. Creating a blog is a good way to share something of yourself with Connecting Singles members. Reading blogs is a good way to learn more about members you have met here. Please be sure to read the blog rules before posting.
Would YOU like to post a blog on Connecting Singles? Have you written blogs that you'd like to share with other members? Posting your blogs shows your skill and creativity and helps members get to know you better. Your blog will appear on the Connecting Singles Blogs page and also in a link on your profile page. Click here to post a blog »