WHEN TO GIVE UP LOOKING ( Archived) (207)

Jul 25, 2009 9:14 AM CST WHEN TO GIVE UP LOOKING
blueeyes1974
blueeyes1974blueeyes1974London, Essex, England UK3 Threads 16 Posts
i hear ya loud and clear its hard work , id say keep going , set a time limit for yourself , good luck wink
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Jul 25, 2009 9:34 AM CST WHEN TO GIVE UP LOOKING
tainogirl
tainogirltainogirlTrincity,West Indies,, Trinidad and Tobago215 Threads 2 Polls 3,777 Posts
blueeyes1974: i hear ya loud and clear its hard work , id say keep going , set a time limit for yourself , good luck


Time limit? How does one do that? Do I know if I have another day, another hour, another minute? I only know about NOW this very minute and I prefer to live it to my best than to foolishly think I have ANY control over what will happen in the next second. You can't set a time limit for love, it comes when it is ready to come and when it feels YOU are ready for it.
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Jul 25, 2009 9:42 AM CST WHEN TO GIVE UP LOOKING
francie81
francie81francie81Dunleer, Louth Ireland3 Threads 558 Posts
And then when you least expect it -BAM! Love is what happens to you when you are busy doing other things.

This sort of line really hits the nail on the headapplause
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Jul 25, 2009 10:36 AM CST WHEN TO GIVE UP LOOKING
lights
lightslightsDenver, Colorado USA6 Threads 504 Posts
How can a person give up a desire?

I don't think I could ever cease desiring to be in a relationship of admiration and adoration. Not to mention the physical intimacy.

But as you said Tainogirl, I think one of the most challenging and frustrating aspects is the inability to control the outcome and result. I think we can have a little bit of minimal control, but basically we just have to be patient, hopeful, and faithful about it.

I sometimes feel envy towards apparently happy couples, and I don't like that feeling either.

So, I just try to stay focused on the other aspects of life and handle all of it in the best manner I can.

I made a comment about this a long time ago, in another life maybe: Never give up. Never give up. Never never never never never.

I think Winston Churchill quoted me on this a couple times.

Yeah, I am sure he did.
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Jul 25, 2009 10:54 AM CST WHEN TO GIVE UP LOOKING
ladyfingers
ladyfingersladyfingersclovis, nm, New Mexico USA261 Threads 1 Polls 5,456 Posts
I don't want the one who wants me....I'm having to search within myself. Am I too picky?
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Jul 25, 2009 11:04 AM CST WHEN TO GIVE UP LOOKING
Polarbutterfly
PolarbutterflyPolarbutterflyunknown, Northwest Territories Canada115 Threads 9,486 Posts
Hmmm,Well I want the one who wants me for me.
Only then will I throw in the towel.wave
Morning LF.
ladyfingers: I don't want the one who wants me....I'm having to search within myself. Am I too picky?
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Jul 25, 2009 11:04 AM CST WHEN TO GIVE UP LOOKING
jessejess47
jessejess47jessejess47ogdensburg, New York USA35 Threads 1 Polls 3,886 Posts
Never give up the ship.....professor laugh
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Jul 25, 2009 11:05 AM CST WHEN TO GIVE UP LOOKING
Polarbutterfly
PolarbutterflyPolarbutterflyunknown, Northwest Territories Canada115 Threads 9,486 Posts
But what if you're thrown over board? confused

laugh
jessejess47: Never give up the ship.....
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Jul 25, 2009 11:07 AM CST WHEN TO GIVE UP LOOKING
Big_John
Big_JohnBig_JohnOcean Springs, Mississippi USA19 Threads 9,767 Posts
ladyfingers: I don't want the one who wants me....I'm having to search within myself. Am I too picky?


We seem to be on the same tune here.... I don't like the ones who like me and the ones I like don't like me. Sort of a balance in nature I think.
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Jul 25, 2009 11:08 AM CST WHEN TO GIVE UP LOOKING
druidess6308
druidess6308druidess6308Aliquippa, Pennsylvania USA79 Threads 13,695 Posts
Boban1: I have met a woman ..here on this site...some time ago...and fall in love... everything was great... until one day...she went to a baby shower.....................
and never came back
but i hav`nt give up....or should i ???


Welcome back, Boban! hug
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Jul 25, 2009 11:09 AM CST WHEN TO GIVE UP LOOKING
ladyfingers
ladyfingersladyfingersclovis, nm, New Mexico USA261 Threads 1 Polls 5,456 Posts
Polarbutterfly: Hmmm,Well I want the one who wants me for me.
Only then will I throw in the towel.
Morning LF.


Hi PB...but even if he wants me for me, it's still a no go. I'm just too damn picky. Maybe I'm too independent.
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Jul 25, 2009 11:10 AM CST WHEN TO GIVE UP LOOKING
SureShot
SureShotSureShotBurnsville, Minnesota USA4 Threads 134 Posts
Polarbutterfly: Hmmm,Well I want the one who wants me for me.
Only then will I throw in the towel.



applause cheers
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Jul 25, 2009 11:11 AM CST WHEN TO GIVE UP LOOKING
druidess6308
druidess6308druidess6308Aliquippa, Pennsylvania USA79 Threads 13,695 Posts
tainogirl: Judging by the sheer number of threads from people frustrated with the dating game and tired of looking, when do you say enough is enough? A week, a month, a year or two - a decade? This continual search for the 'ONE', what happens if they never materialize? Many of us will probably find SOMEONE but for some of us the ONE may never come along. How do you deal with that? You can chase after it, get yourself all ready and say "Okay love I'm ready!" and discover that love's not ready for you - just yet. You can't hurry love.

And when we push it, before love is ready for us, because we are lonely we end up wasting time with someone in a relationship that is probably doomed to fail because you're together for all the wrong reasons. How many times have you seen people rush to the alter, even though something is telling them this is a mistake, they still do it because they don't want to be alone and without a partner?

How many gave up when they should have just pushed on a little further, how many kept pushing when they should have just relaxed and love would have found them? There is the delicate balance to being on this site, to know when to push and when to pull back. To know when to take a chance and leave the comfort zone and to know when not to take foolish chances. Dating sites like CS are a great tool but there are no guarantees. People get frustrated cause they want results, well if there are none - then its simply not time. And then when you least expect it -BAM! Love is what happens to you when you are busy doing other things. What say you good folks.


Good post, Taino! Sometimes I look around, see who's out there, and if someone catches my eye, I'll contact them. Other times, I just sit back on cruise control. I won't shut the doors because nobody can walk in a closed door, but I'm not in a hurry either. It happens when it does. Will I ever stop hoping? No. When and if it's meant to be, love will happen. In the meantime, I keep living my life and enjoying it.

heart wings
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Jul 25, 2009 11:12 AM CST WHEN TO GIVE UP LOOKING
ladyfingers
ladyfingersladyfingersclovis, nm, New Mexico USA261 Threads 1 Polls 5,456 Posts
Big_John: We seem to be on the same tune here.... I don't like the ones who like me and the ones I like don't like me. Sort of a balance in nature I think.


John, I know you are picky like me. I've come to the conclusion that maybe we don't really want to be with anyone....the chase is more fun. What do you think? Seriously. dunno
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Jul 25, 2009 11:13 AM CST WHEN TO GIVE UP LOOKING
druidess6308
druidess6308druidess6308Aliquippa, Pennsylvania USA79 Threads 13,695 Posts
ladyfingers: I don't want the one who wants me....I'm having to search within myself. Am I too picky?
confused Is this in general, or is there someone in particular who is interested in you, but you don't return the feeling? Hard to respond further without clarification of this, LF.

hug
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Jul 25, 2009 11:13 AM CST WHEN TO GIVE UP LOOKING
Polarbutterfly
PolarbutterflyPolarbutterflyunknown, Northwest Territories Canada115 Threads 9,486 Posts
I'm independent too but I don't think it
has anything to do with who you're with.
I think it's all about choice.I won't settle for less,
I know what I want and strive for it.If I never find him,
or he never find me,I'm okay with that. bouquet
ladyfingers: Hi PB...but even if he wants me for me, it's still a no go. I'm just too damn picky. Maybe I'm too independent.
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Jul 25, 2009 11:14 AM CST WHEN TO GIVE UP LOOKING
Big_John
Big_JohnBig_JohnOcean Springs, Mississippi USA19 Threads 9,767 Posts
ladyfingers: John, I know you are picky like me. I've come to the conclusion that maybe we don't really want to be with anyone....the chase is more fun. What do you think? Seriously.


Honestly I have been doubting myself lately. I am picky. I refuse to settle. I do want someone in my life. I will not stop looking. I am loosing the interest in the chase though.

There are a lot of "I" in my statement above. Maybe this is my problem.
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Jul 25, 2009 11:14 AM CST WHEN TO GIVE UP LOOKING
Boban1
Boban1Boban1bigplace, Central Serbia Serbia144 Threads 5 Polls 18,789 Posts
druidess6308: Welcome back, Boban!


Thanks Dru...bouquet
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Jul 25, 2009 11:15 AM CST WHEN TO GIVE UP LOOKING
ladyfingers
ladyfingersladyfingersclovis, nm, New Mexico USA261 Threads 1 Polls 5,456 Posts
druidess6308: Is this in general, or is there someone in particular who is interested in you, but you don't return the feeling? Hard to respond further without clarification of this, LF.


Interested in me...not in general.
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Jul 25, 2009 11:15 AM CST WHEN TO GIVE UP LOOKING
druidess6308
druidess6308druidess6308Aliquippa, Pennsylvania USA79 Threads 13,695 Posts
Big_John: We seem to be on the same tune here.... I don't like the ones who like me and the ones I like don't like me. Sort of a balance in nature I think.


Ah, this is what she meant...okay, then the right one hasn't come along for either of you. When they do, it will be mutual. And maybe you're not as ready as you think you are.
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