tainogirlOPTrincity,West Indies,, Trinidad and Tobago3,777 posts
blueeyes1974: i hear ya loud and clear its hard work , id say keep going , set a time limit for yourself , good luck
Time limit? How does one do that? Do I know if I have another day, another hour, another minute? I only know about NOW this very minute and I prefer to live it to my best than to foolishly think I have ANY control over what will happen in the next second. You can't set a time limit for love, it comes when it is ready to come and when it feels YOU are ready for it.
I don't think I could ever cease desiring to be in a relationship of admiration and adoration. Not to mention the physical intimacy.
But as you said Tainogirl, I think one of the most challenging and frustrating aspects is the inability to control the outcome and result. I think we can have a little bit of minimal control, but basically we just have to be patient, hopeful, and faithful about it.
I sometimes feel envy towards apparently happy couples, and I don't like that feeling either.
So, I just try to stay focused on the other aspects of life and handle all of it in the best manner I can.
I made a comment about this a long time ago, in another life maybe: Never give up. Never give up. Never never never never never.
I think Winston Churchill quoted me on this a couple times.
Boban1: I have met a woman ..here on this site...some time ago...and fall in love... everything was great... until one day...she went to a baby shower..................... and never came back but i hav`nt give up....or should i ???
tainogirl: Judging by the sheer number of threads from people frustrated with the dating game and tired of looking, when do you say enough is enough? A week, a month, a year or two - a decade? This continual search for the 'ONE', what happens if they never materialize? Many of us will probably find SOMEONE but for some of us the ONE may never come along. How do you deal with that? You can chase after it, get yourself all ready and say "Okay love I'm ready!" and discover that love's not ready for you - just yet. You can't hurry love.
And when we push it, before love is ready for us, because we are lonely we end up wasting time with someone in a relationship that is probably doomed to fail because you're together for all the wrong reasons. How many times have you seen people rush to the alter, even though something is telling them this is a mistake, they still do it because they don't want to be alone and without a partner?
How many gave up when they should have just pushed on a little further, how many kept pushing when they should have just relaxed and love would have found them? There is the delicate balance to being on this site, to know when to push and when to pull back. To know when to take a chance and leave the comfort zone and to know when not to take foolish chances. Dating sites like CS are a great tool but there are no guarantees. People get frustrated cause they want results, well if there are none - then its simply not time. And then when you least expect it -BAM! Love is what happens to you when you are busy doing other things. What say you good folks.
Good post, Taino! Sometimes I look around, see who's out there, and if someone catches my eye, I'll contact them. Other times, I just sit back on cruise control. I won't shut the doors because nobody can walk in a closed door, but I'm not in a hurry either. It happens when it does. Will I ever stop hoping? No. When and if it's meant to be, love will happen. In the meantime, I keep living my life and enjoying it.
Big_John: We seem to be on the same tune here.... I don't like the ones who like me and the ones I like don't like me. Sort of a balance in nature I think.
John, I know you are picky like me. I've come to the conclusion that maybe we don't really want to be with anyone....the chase is more fun. What do you think? Seriously.
ladyfingers: I don't want the one who wants me....I'm having to search within myself. Am I too picky?
Is this in general, or is there someone in particular who is interested in you, but you don't return the feeling? Hard to respond further without clarification of this, LF.
I'm independent too but I don't think it has anything to do with who you're with. I think it's all about choice.I won't settle for less, I know what I want and strive for it.If I never find him, or he never find me,I'm okay with that.
ladyfingers: Hi PB...but even if he wants me for me, it's still a no go. I'm just too damn picky. Maybe I'm too independent.
ladyfingers: John, I know you are picky like me. I've come to the conclusion that maybe we don't really want to be with anyone....the chase is more fun. What do you think? Seriously.
Honestly I have been doubting myself lately. I am picky. I refuse to settle. I do want someone in my life. I will not stop looking. I am loosing the interest in the chase though.
There are a lot of "I" in my statement above. Maybe this is my problem.
druidess6308: Is this in general, or is there someone in particular who is interested in you, but you don't return the feeling? Hard to respond further without clarification of this, LF.
Big_John: We seem to be on the same tune here.... I don't like the ones who like me and the ones I like don't like me. Sort of a balance in nature I think.
Ah, this is what she meant...okay, then the right one hasn't come along for either of you. When they do, it will be mutual. And maybe you're not as ready as you think you are.
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