WHEN TO GIVE UP LOOKING (207)
sassy49seniorItty Bitty, Nebraska USA274 Threads 4,632 PostsLarry, For goodness sake hun, take a step outside and look at all you have done with your place. That in and of itself is a terrific accomplishment. In fact I think I commented on your work on your home with my first flower or mail to you, can't remember which. Anyway, even though you have been let down just always remember, you have some great qualities to offer and eventually you and she will connect. A hug for you 
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Very good Rob Thomas song.
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tainogirl: Judging by the sheer number of threads from people frustrated with the dating game and tired of looking, when do you say enough is enough? A week, a month, a year or two - a decade? This continual search for the 'ONE', what happens if they never materialize? Many of us will probably find SOMEONE but for some of us the ONE may never come along. How do you deal with that? You can chase after it, get yourself all ready and say "Okay love I'm ready!" and discover that love's not ready for you - just yet. You can't hurry love.
And when we push it, before love is ready for us, because we are lonely we end up wasting time with someone in a relationship that is probably doomed to fail because you're together for all the wrong reasons. How many times have you seen people rush to the alter, even though something is telling them this is a mistake, they still do it because they don't want to be alone and without a partner?
How many gave up when they should have just pushed on a little further, how many kept pushing when they should have just relaxed and love would have found them? There is the delicate balance to being on this site, to know when to push and when to pull back. To know when to take a chance and leave the comfort zone and to know when not to take foolish chances. Dating sites like CS are a great tool but there are no guarantees. People get frustrated cause they want results, well if there are none - then its simply not time. And then when you least expect it -BAM! Love is what happens to you when you are busy doing other things. What say you good folks.
And when we push it, before love is ready for us, because we are lonely we end up wasting time with someone in a relationship that is probably doomed to fail because you're together for all the wrong reasons. How many times have you seen people rush to the alter, even though something is telling them this is a mistake, they still do it because they don't want to be alone and without a partner?
How many gave up when they should have just pushed on a little further, how many kept pushing when they should have just relaxed and love would have found them? There is the delicate balance to being on this site, to know when to push and when to pull back. To know when to take a chance and leave the comfort zone and to know when not to take foolish chances. Dating sites like CS are a great tool but there are no guarantees. People get frustrated cause they want results, well if there are none - then its simply not time. And then when you least expect it -BAM! Love is what happens to you when you are busy doing other things. What say you good folks.
I already gave up and am loosing interest in romance daily. I decided that I don't want to loose myself in a relationship with a man. Seems like they all want you to be something you are not and/or have numerous demands and unrealistic expectations. I think I am more likely to be motivated to improve myself if I am not subject to all of that. For example, I have been trying to quit smoking and get healthy. A man in my life was being overly pushy and mean to me about it, calling me names and insulting me. Well, this just made me revert back to smoking because I was really angry and frightened. If I were either supported or at least not-bothered I think I may have been more successful because I did it for me, not to get someone off my back.
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Never give up!
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sassy49senior: Larry, For goodness sake hun, take a step outside and look at all you have done with your place. That in and of itself is a terrific accomplishment. In fact I think I commented on your work on your home with my first flower or mail to you, can't remember which. Anyway, even though you have been let down just always remember, you have some great qualities to offer and eventually you and she will connect. A hug for you
Thanks Sassy, Yes i have made some wonderful, and Big accomplishments on this house, and Between that, and Love sick, I think I am Kinda Stressed, and My Rubberband is stretched too tight for the moment
Maybe I need to just go to the Lake, and walk on the beach , and walk the Devil out of me
so I can become My Loving self again
so I feel that it is Mindset, and my clock is wrong
Damn it
Sometimes I just feel stuck in the Mud-
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Thank you Sassy
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avecaim: I already gave up and am loosing interest in romance daily. I decided that I don't want to loose myself in a relationship with a man. Seems like they all want you to be something you are not and/or have numerous demands and unrealistic expectations. I think I am more likely to be motivated to improve myself if I am not subject to all of that. For example, I have been trying to quit smoking and get healthy. A man in my life was being overly pushy and mean to me about it, calling me names and insulting me. Well, this just made me revert back to smoking because I was really angry and frightened. If I were either supported or at least not-bothered I think I may have been more successful because I did it for me, not to get someone off my back.
Hey sweet thing, You must feel as I do, felt like we have made every effort we could make, and still Nothing....
To All: I have taken the time to clear my life, I have been working on self for 10 Yrs, and also seeking True Love for 10 Yrs since my divorice, I have dated a Few But just not the one for me.., In this time I quit Drinking 5 1/2 Yrs ao, as it became a problem in my life, I have Studied dating and relationships for yrs, and 3 1/2 months ago I quit Smoking COLD TURKEY. This put me in Shok to my system, From 1 1/2 pks per day for 35 yrs and then Cold turkey,
I am proud to say that I have not had one drag from a Cigarette since I quit.....
This attitude is partia;lly due to NOT SMOKING..... A Cigarette would calm my nerves, so would a few Beers......
But I have done the Harder path, NOT TO DRINK OR SMOKE, now i have to get thru it without! So avecaim, if you need encouragement, I can help.....
So just to show that I have been continuing to LOOK AT SELF for many yrs, and Making Progress that can PROVE ITSELF, I still get down....... as Missing true love, Floods my being...
!0 yrs is A LONG TIME,... Do I have the right to become discouraged at times,
Yes, but at times i need to control it without a Cigarette
I will get it tpgater, and in the Meantime , an Apology to those who I have been kinda Bitter to, and dont quite know why..... This is alot of the answer!
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Seems to me that from what we hear in the media - they love those stories about folks in their 90s getting hitched - that most of us do not ever give up looking for the love, joy and companionship. Some of my friends are quite happy to be single, and its a sign of our enlightened times that society (in the west!)does not make the single lady or man feel like an oddball in life. In fact many married friends tell me they envy my life style.
The important thing really is to love yourself so that you are complete and ready for love and romance, should it arrive.
I love to date - its always fun to meet people and discover someone elses story - but I have learned to be a happy single, and to take time out from dating if it seems like Im going nowhere.
Never give up on finding your soul mate, just have a vacation from the search now and then to remind yourself of the great catch you are!
The important thing really is to love yourself so that you are complete and ready for love and romance, should it arrive.
I love to date - its always fun to meet people and discover someone elses story - but I have learned to be a happy single, and to take time out from dating if it seems like Im going nowhere.
Never give up on finding your soul mate, just have a vacation from the search now and then to remind yourself of the great catch you are!
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Already gave up...just riding with the "flow" now. 
You never know what is around the corner(at least that is what I've been told)!
But wish everyone else the best of luck in your endeavor to find that "one" for yourself.
You never know what is around the corner(at least that is what I've been told)!
But wish everyone else the best of luck in your endeavor to find that "one" for yourself.
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AthenzGirl: Seems to me that from what we hear in the media - they love those stories about folks in their 90s getting hitched - that most of us do not ever give up looking for the love, joy and companionship. Some of my friends are quite happy to be single, and its a sign of our enlightened times that society (in the west!)does not make the single lady or man feel like an oddball in life. In fact many married friends tell me they envy my life style.
The important thing really is to love yourself so that you are complete and ready for love and romance, should it arrive.
I love to date - its always fun to meet people and discover someone elses story - but I have learned to be a happy single, and to take time out from dating if it seems like Im going nowhere.
Never give up on finding your soul mate, just have a vacation from the search now and then to remind yourself of the great catch you are!
The important thing really is to love yourself so that you are complete and ready for love and romance, should it arrive.
I love to date - its always fun to meet people and discover someone elses story - but I have learned to be a happy single, and to take time out from dating if it seems like Im going nowhere.
Never give up on finding your soul mate, just have a vacation from the search now and then to remind yourself of the great catch you are!
That was very nice and very well said, and entering the fact that we all face different thing at different times, we some times do have to find, that breath of fRESH air , TO GET US BACK ON TRACT
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why would you be so serious here online about "looking"? if one is really serious about looking for somebody, he/she should be giving it a try off the internet dating world as well. with all its fun, internet dating has some serious limitation. i think internet is a nice place to learn about people from all over the world, but if anything happens beyond that learning, it is certainly a "pleasant surprise" or a "bonus". And i don't think it is such a good idea to let yourself down if you never end up getting that "bonus" or "pleasant surprise". then again, it is only my thought....so, please everybody, just take it easy.
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HotrodLarrys: I WILL get out of bed tomorrow with another Outlook, and may be this will help get it past, I have been RIGHT< and DONE WRONG, it does get heavy at times......
So you DO understand , JUST what I am saying, And Thanks,
So you DO understand , JUST what I am saying, And Thanks,
You ain't alone!! You're welcome
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HotrodLarrys: Thank Tanio, and Druidess, I have been letting a few thing get me down, and I DO need to get my spirits back up... I have been frustrated for days now and even feeling my own attitude, and that isnt good, Tho I wioll do what ever I need to do to correct it, I have made it this far in life, and see i need to pick my chin up, despite the actions of others, Thanks to Both, Larry
You're welcome, Larry. Go out and do something that lifts your spirits, something you enjoy. Or watch a good comedy.
When I feel like that, I put good music on that I enjoy and clean my house. Believe it or not, that lifts my spirits. If that doesn't work, I break out one of my drums and play it along with the music, then I call a friend or go for a drive to one of my favorite trails and I feel better. But do things that will help you to feel positive about life or yourself. We all get frustrated and we all have negative moods. It's choosing to do something about it that makes the difference.
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AthenzGirl: Seems to me that from what we hear in the media - they love those stories about folks in their 90s getting hitched - that most of us do not ever give up looking for the love, joy and companionship. Some of my friends are quite happy to be single, and its a sign of our enlightened times that society (in the west!)does not make the single lady or man feel like an oddball in life. In fact many married friends tell me they envy my life style.
The important thing really is to love yourself so that you are complete and ready for love and romance, should it arrive.
I love to date - its always fun to meet people and discover someone elses story - but I have learned to be a happy single, and to take time out from dating if it seems like Im going nowhere.
Never give up on finding your soul mate, just have a vacation from the search now and then to remind yourself of the great catch you are!
The important thing really is to love yourself so that you are complete and ready for love and romance, should it arrive.
I love to date - its always fun to meet people and discover someone elses story - but I have learned to be a happy single, and to take time out from dating if it seems like Im going nowhere.
Never give up on finding your soul mate, just have a vacation from the search now and then to remind yourself of the great catch you are!
Excellent post, Athenz. And I do love my lifestyle. I don't want it to become permanent, for I would love to have another partner some day, but until I find him I enjoy being single too. Yes, it gets lonely sometimes, but it has its benefits as well.------ This thread is Archived ------
druidess6308: And that's when it is time to take a break, Westie, and take some time to get yourself back together. That's what I do when I feel that way. I stop looking, and change all of my profiles to reflect that I'm not looking. If you need to, hide your profile for a bit, and take some time to pursue other activities and focus on bringing more positive energy into your life.
It's hard to attract someone if we don't feel attractive in some way. Blessings on your journey.
It's hard to attract someone if we don't feel attractive in some way. Blessings on your journey.
Thank you for the suggestion of hiding the profile but I am taking it a step futher. I've decided to leave to site permanently. I'll be deleting my profile as opposed to hiding it.
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westie97: Thank you for the suggestion of hiding the profile but I am taking it a step futher. I've decided to leave to site permanently. I'll be deleting my profile as opposed to hiding it.
Post a going away Thread. Then come back after a day or two.... It will drive some of these people nuts.
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Only time to give up is when your standards have gotten so low that you're searching the obituaries for possible dates.
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faux_punk: Only time to give up is when your standards have gotten so low that you're searching the obituaries for possible dates.
Hey at my age I read them everyday when I am at home.
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HJFinAZ: I stopped looking for a soulmate long ago, my soul is just fine and does not need a mate.
I stopped looking for my other half long ago, I am a whole person within myself and need no other half.
I stopped looking for someone to complete me long ago, I am complete..
Why cannot people just be happy with themselves?
I stopped looking for my other half long ago, I am a whole person within myself and need no other half.
I stopped looking for someone to complete me long ago, I am complete..
Why cannot people just be happy with themselves?
.........Bingo..........
J.D
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Big_John: Hey at my age I read them everyday when I am at home.
I read them to be sure that my name isn't there.
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Big_John: Post a going away Thread. Then come back after a day or two.... It will drive some of these people nuts.
Nope...just waiting on some PMs to be read and once those are, the profile is gone. Not into games either.
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