My sister wants your feedback (94)
I would suggest that your sister contact a professional.
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Friskyone: But he does need some sort of help dealing with his social skills and his fears and anxiety to.
Thanks for coming back and commenting.
Your sister has definite real concerns but if she is really concerned about Sam, why would she leave. I’ve anonymously contacted county family social workers before about similar situations. Thanks for coming back and commenting.
The social workers conducted an investigation. Wrongs were righted in those situations after the dust settled. Maybe your sister can consider and try that route too...
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Bearwoman: I would suggest that your sister contact a professional.
I agree, she is just like treading water. I have to say that I have been updating her of everyone's genuine opinions and she appreciates all of you.Thank you
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galrads: Your sister has definite real concerns but if she is really concerned about Sam, why would she leave. I’ve anonymously contacted county family social workers before about similar situations.
The social workers conducted an investigation. Wrongs were righted in those situations after the dust settled. Maybe your sister can consider and try that route too...
I don't think she would ever call social workers because our system here has many flaws in the system and having divorce on her brain is because she can't stand to watch Sam suffering while her husband isn't working with her to get the help. They are more divided than united unfortunately.The social workers conducted an investigation. Wrongs were righted in those situations after the dust settled. Maybe your sister can consider and try that route too...
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Friskyone: I don't think she would ever call social workers because our system here has many flaws in the system and having divorce on her brain is because she can't stand to watch Sam suffering while her husband isn't working with her to get the help. They are more divided than united unfortunately.
Thats truly sad your system having flaws like that. There are a lot of children and family services here in Ohio with good records at interventions for issues like this. 
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That’s a really tough call. Choose flawed state intervention with attached alienation or walk away.
I understand the frustration.
Ultimately, it’s your sister who has to look in the mirror in the morning. Her decision and I don’t envy her .
Personally, I’ve had to walk away from a somewhat similar situation. I’ve wondered if I should have stayed or if I made the right decision. For my own stress level, I made the correct choice. For them, I’ll never know.
I understand the frustration.
Ultimately, it’s your sister who has to look in the mirror in the morning. Her decision and I don’t envy her .
Personally, I’ve had to walk away from a somewhat similar situation. I’ve wondered if I should have stayed or if I made the right decision. For my own stress level, I made the correct choice. For them, I’ll never know.
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well i think when you said alcoholic mother....that kinda hits the nail on the head....perhaps this stuff was used as a babysitter for this child when his mother was drunk and has added to and ballooned his anxiousness....how can a child not be anxious when a parent is an alcoholic?....the fact that both parents are in denial says that neither one of them take her alcoholism seriously and have not looked at how it has and is harming the child.....the fact that she is alcoholic and still retains partial custody is actually very telling....i would say your sister is fighting a losing battle and she has to decide if she can live with it or not exactly the way things are...neither parent is dealing with reality when it comes to their child and that's just the way it is.....
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The problem is that the parents aren't parenting.
The child sounds like he is being left to his own devices, and his issues and needs being ignored.
Your sister must put the kid's needs first, as his alcoholic mother and selfish father are not. Whether that means contacting the head of the school discreetly with her concerns, or contacting social services, she should do it.
She should only look at the state of her marriage after that.
The child sounds like he is being left to his own devices, and his issues and needs being ignored.
Your sister must put the kid's needs first, as his alcoholic mother and selfish father are not. Whether that means contacting the head of the school discreetly with her concerns, or contacting social services, she should do it.
She should only look at the state of her marriage after that.
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galrads: Thats truly sad your system having flaws like that. There are a lot of children and family services here in Ohio with good records at interventions for issues like this.
Yeah our whole system is more than flawed, including our own police and judges! They have failed so many children who ended up passing away because social workers didn't do their job correctly and probably under staffed.------ This thread is Archived ------
Stan_147: That’s a really tough call. Choose flawed state intervention with attached alienation or walk away.
I understand the frustration.
Ultimately, it’s your sister who has to look in the mirror in the morning. Her decision and I don’t envy her .
Personally, I’ve had to walk away from a somewhat similar situation. I’ve wondered if I should have stayed or if I made the right decision. For my own stress level, I made the correct choice. For them, I’ll never know.
I understand the frustration.
Ultimately, it’s your sister who has to look in the mirror in the morning. Her decision and I don’t envy her .
Personally, I’ve had to walk away from a somewhat similar situation. I’ve wondered if I should have stayed or if I made the right decision. For my own stress level, I made the correct choice. For them, I’ll never know.
Exactly how she feels. I hate situations where you may not know if a choice we made in the past was the right thing to do or have done.------ This thread is Archived ------
M4_Mischief: well i think when you said alcoholic mother....that kinda hits the nail on the head....perhaps this stuff was used as a babysitter for this child when his mother was drunk and has added to and ballooned his anxiousness....how can a child not be anxious when a parent is an alcoholic?....the fact that both parents are in denial says that neither one of them take her alcoholism seriously and have not looked at how it has and is harming the child.....the fact that she is alcoholic and still retains partial custody is actually very telling....i would say your sister is fighting a losing battle and she has to decide if she can live with it or not exactly the way things are...neither parent is dealing with reality when it comes to their child and that's just the way it is.....
You made very valid points. 
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mollybaby: The problem is that the parents aren't parenting.
The child sounds like he is being left to his own devices, and his issues and needs being ignored.
Your sister must put the kid's needs first, as his alcoholic mother and selfish father are not. Whether that means contacting the head of the school discreetly with her concerns, or contacting social services, she should do it.
She should only look at the state of her marriage after that.
The parents aren't parenting as they should, you're right. She is so confused and is frustrated.The child sounds like he is being left to his own devices, and his issues and needs being ignored.
Your sister must put the kid's needs first, as his alcoholic mother and selfish father are not. Whether that means contacting the head of the school discreetly with her concerns, or contacting social services, she should do it.
She should only look at the state of her marriage after that.
There have been many posts who believe the same as you.
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My sister and I wan't to thank you for all your input. She has a lot to think about.
Thanks again
Thanks again
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Friskyone: My sister gets along with Sam good although his behaviour is beginning to affect her. She doesn't blame Sam as she believes he needs all of exactly what you mentioned. She is concerned and wants him to live a happy life.
She feels she is fighting a losing battle. Thank you for reading and responding. All advice is helpful.
She feels she is fighting a losing battle. Thank you for reading and responding. All advice is helpful.
Looks like she already lost the battle
she see’s the boy need help, but his mom
and dad has swept it under the rug, that’s
not good and he’s not enteracting with kids
his age, he’s hanging out with adults, definitely
not good, it’s teamwork and it should be discussed
something is wrong with him no doubt, but
your sister can only do so much by that not
being her son, I see the marriage is already
falling apart, your sister is the only adult here
pulling for him to get help and her husband
not even with her on this, so it will get worse
before better and if nobody can come to
a agreement that the child needs help then
the marriage has already fell apart, your sister
had done her part by telling her husband his son
needs help
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Hi Frisky,
IMO Sam needs some help and direction.
Being different may not necessarily be an issue but some of the anti social behaviour can be a serious concern.
Am assuming your sister is not too far from your age so would also say that t that (our) age you take on lot of baggage. Not trying to equate a human being as baggage but when you take on him you take on his son.
Nothing wrong with being anti social per say, or watching world news, but his panic & fear of being left alone and anxiety are issues.
One parent, let alone a step parent, can't deal with these issues on their own.
They, as a couple, deal with this and seek professional help, or they don't.
If the Father refuses to deal with these issues to help his son it's up to your sister whether she stays or goes.
JMO
IMO Sam needs some help and direction.
Being different may not necessarily be an issue but some of the anti social behaviour can be a serious concern.
Am assuming your sister is not too far from your age so would also say that t that (our) age you take on lot of baggage. Not trying to equate a human being as baggage but when you take on him you take on his son.
Nothing wrong with being anti social per say, or watching world news, but his panic & fear of being left alone and anxiety are issues.
One parent, let alone a step parent, can't deal with these issues on their own.
They, as a couple, deal with this and seek professional help, or they don't.
If the Father refuses to deal with these issues to help his son it's up to your sister whether she stays or goes.
JMO
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Packersbabe1: Looks like she already lost the battle
she see’s the boy need help, but his mom
and dad has swept it under the rug, that’s
not good and he’s not enteracting with kids
his age, he’s hanging out with adults, definitely
not good, it’s teamwork and it should be discussed
something is wrong with him no doubt, but
your sister can only do so much by that not
being her son, I see the marriage is already
falling apart, your sister is the only adult here
pulling for him to get help and her husband
not even with her on this, so it will get worse
before better and if nobody can come to
a agreement that the child needs help then
the marriage has already fell apart, your sister
had done her part by telling her husband his son
needs help
I share your feedback. I don't know how much longer she can take it.she see’s the boy need help, but his mom
and dad has swept it under the rug, that’s
not good and he’s not enteracting with kids
his age, he’s hanging out with adults, definitely
not good, it’s teamwork and it should be discussed
something is wrong with him no doubt, but
your sister can only do so much by that not
being her son, I see the marriage is already
falling apart, your sister is the only adult here
pulling for him to get help and her husband
not even with her on this, so it will get worse
before better and if nobody can come to
a agreement that the child needs help then
the marriage has already fell apart, your sister
had done her part by telling her husband his son
needs help
Thanks for commenting.
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Aragorn11: Hi Frisky,
IMO Sam needs some help and direction.
Being different may not necessarily be an issue but some of the anti social behaviour can be a serious concern.
Am assuming your sister is not too far from your age so would also say that t that (our) age you take on lot of baggage. Not trying to equate a human being as baggage but when you take on him you take on his son.
Nothing wrong with being anti social per say, or watching world news, but his panic & fear of being left alone and anxiety are issues.
One parent, let alone a step parent, can't deal with these issues on their own.
They, as a couple, deal with this and seek professional help, or they don't.
If the Father refuses to deal with these issues to help his son it's up to your sister whether she stays or goes.
JMO
IMO Sam needs some help and direction.
Being different may not necessarily be an issue but some of the anti social behaviour can be a serious concern.
Am assuming your sister is not too far from your age so would also say that t that (our) age you take on lot of baggage. Not trying to equate a human being as baggage but when you take on him you take on his son.
Nothing wrong with being anti social per say, or watching world news, but his panic & fear of being left alone and anxiety are issues.
One parent, let alone a step parent, can't deal with these issues on their own.
They, as a couple, deal with this and seek professional help, or they don't.
If the Father refuses to deal with these issues to help his son it's up to your sister whether she stays or goes.
JMO
Hi Aragon. Thanks for commenting.You're right, my sister is 44 and I'm 50. And yes they need therapy for Sam AND marriage counseling.
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I just think this should not all be your sisters responsibility and if she and her husband are not on the same page in relation to Sam that can and will cause serious problems in their relationship.
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Aragorn11: I just think this should not all be your sisters responsibility and if she and her husband are not on the same page in relation to Sam that can and will cause serious problems in their relationship.
Unfortunately, it already is.
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They need to seek the advice and help of other professionals of the family nature in real life.
That is my personal view as far as feed back that might actually help her(them), produce results.
Thanks for your input.