why are guys heartless (109)
lusciousmile: Where does she say, she blames ALL men for ALL her problems? There's a story she's giving here, in case you missed it !
Hey Luscious, like the pic. 
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trust me people
KS is heartless
KS is heartless
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*and*
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KrazieStill: Hey Luscious, like the pic.
Hi krazie, thanks. Nice to see you.
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lusciousmile: *and*
Hope you're not expecting an answer here.
I stayed a way from men altogether (13 years in fact) while I was raising my kids, but hen, maybe I just got lucky.
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gingerb: Hope you're not expecting an answer here.
I stayed a way from men altogether (13 years in fact) while I was raising my kids, but hen, maybe I just got lucky.
I stayed a way from men altogether (13 years in fact) while I was raising my kids, but hen, maybe I just got lucky.
Nope, i don't expect one.
gingerb: Hope you're not expecting an answer here.
I stayed a way from men altogether (13 years in fact) while I was raising my kids, but hen, maybe I just got lucky.
I stayed a way from men altogether (13 years in fact) while I was raising my kids, but hen, maybe I just got lucky.
13 years is a long time!
I've been hurt too, maybe not nearly as much, because i don't have kids who have suffered in the process, but i can empathise.
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No matter what decisions we make in life, ther is always a big dollop of luck in there.
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A thread like this can turn from a "sympathy" quickly into a "Man bashing" thread and thats no good at all for anyone. There has to be a balance.
I spent a lot of time in the 70's encouraging female friends to stand up for themselves and not to take Cra* off guys, now I find I am telling guys to stick up for themselves and not to take cra* off women,
The times have changed. Woman bashing is wrong. Man bashing is wrong.
I spent a lot of time in the 70's encouraging female friends to stand up for themselves and not to take Cra* off guys, now I find I am telling guys to stick up for themselves and not to take cra* off women,
The times have changed. Woman bashing is wrong. Man bashing is wrong.
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patrickthomas: A thread like this can turn from a "sympathy" quickly into a "Man bashing" thread and thats no good at all for anyone. There has to be a balance.
I spent a lot of time in the 70's encouraging female friends to stand up for themselves and not to take Cra* off guys, now I find I am telling guys to stick up for themselves and not to take cra* off women,
The times have changed. Woman bashing is wrong. Man bashing is wrong.
I spent a lot of time in the 70's encouraging female friends to stand up for themselves and not to take Cra* off guys, now I find I am telling guys to stick up for themselves and not to take cra* off women,
The times have changed. Woman bashing is wrong. Man bashing is wrong.
I agreed... ANY bashing is wrong.
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agree*
gawdd I think I need more sleep..
gawdd I think I need more sleep..
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<<<bashed
oh well
i like this saying
L abor
U nder
C orrect
k nowledge
but even then there are variables
oh well
i like this saying
L abor
U nder
C orrect
k nowledge
but even then there are variables
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Claayer: I agreed... ANY bashing is wrong.
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Ok, after finally reading most of the pages!!!
One, when I am in a relationship, I tell my kids that the guy is a friend of mine. I never ever let them know anything more. No kissing, touchy feely, nothing in front of them period, end of discussion! If for some reason I do let him stay the night... he sleeps on the couch... well until they go to bed and always is back there before they wake up... ok I havent tried that since my daughter was born, but was the rule before her and will continue to be the rule.
I always make it clear to him... that they are my kids, I take care of them, not him... my kids will know him as a friend only, not as a father figure in anyway! And I make it clear that if something happens to break off the relationship that we should stay friends no matter what... which in turn means that my kids will stay friends with him... Normally this has worked for me. In fact I have 2 ex's from years ago who will still call me and talk and ask to say hi to my son-he was my only child durring those relaionships... So there was no broken heart for him... I have not dated since I had my daughter 3 years ago, for my own reasons, but all will stay the same when I do get into another relationship.
As far as male bashing goes... no need for that. Any person can act the same way toward the kids. Men and women alike can cause a great deal of hurt for a child when a relationship goes bad. Being more careful of who you date can help on that level. But she was upset at the time of posting this thread obviously, so lets all cut her a LOT of slack on this one. Im sure she knows that not all men are alike just as not all women are alike, she was just venting and rightly so!!
I always keep in touch with the kids a LOT after a break up so they dont feel that they did anything wrong, but not all are willing to get past the emotions they feel toward the break up to realise there is a small person being hurt. In which case, you have to be all you can be for the child and take extra time and attention to have fun and occupy their time until they get over the break up. Sometimes it may take a while, just make sure that you are there for the kids involved and get them into new and better things!
Continued...
One, when I am in a relationship, I tell my kids that the guy is a friend of mine. I never ever let them know anything more. No kissing, touchy feely, nothing in front of them period, end of discussion! If for some reason I do let him stay the night... he sleeps on the couch... well until they go to bed and always is back there before they wake up... ok I havent tried that since my daughter was born, but was the rule before her and will continue to be the rule.
I always make it clear to him... that they are my kids, I take care of them, not him... my kids will know him as a friend only, not as a father figure in anyway! And I make it clear that if something happens to break off the relationship that we should stay friends no matter what... which in turn means that my kids will stay friends with him... Normally this has worked for me. In fact I have 2 ex's from years ago who will still call me and talk and ask to say hi to my son-he was my only child durring those relaionships... So there was no broken heart for him... I have not dated since I had my daughter 3 years ago, for my own reasons, but all will stay the same when I do get into another relationship.
As far as male bashing goes... no need for that. Any person can act the same way toward the kids. Men and women alike can cause a great deal of hurt for a child when a relationship goes bad. Being more careful of who you date can help on that level. But she was upset at the time of posting this thread obviously, so lets all cut her a LOT of slack on this one. Im sure she knows that not all men are alike just as not all women are alike, she was just venting and rightly so!!
I always keep in touch with the kids a LOT after a break up so they dont feel that they did anything wrong, but not all are willing to get past the emotions they feel toward the break up to realise there is a small person being hurt. In which case, you have to be all you can be for the child and take extra time and attention to have fun and occupy their time until they get over the break up. Sometimes it may take a while, just make sure that you are there for the kids involved and get them into new and better things!
Continued...
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men and women alike are victims in different circumstances..
Do the best job you can with the best you have at the time..
Time is always on your side..take care
Do the best job you can with the best you have at the time..
Time is always on your side..take care
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I wasn't running you down, I was saying that you and pt were unfairly had a go at.
Sorry if it came over wrong. I was actaully DEFENDING YOU.
Sorry if it came over wrong. I was actaully DEFENDING YOU.
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kidatheart: Odd that throughout the entire thread there were comments on generalisations made by men and women alike, yet mine seemed to be the most offensive to a particular poster. I wonder if she's looking for ways to be offended to start a fight?
I'm sure if I had said, "All puppies are cute" that it would somehow been offensive.
Why don't you kindly F* OFF and leave me alone! Thank you and have a wonderful life! My post wasn't meant to be harsh or unfair Ginger. It was just a general statement about generalisations posted in a thread that there were many comments about it. They don't do anyone any good and nor does bashing or fighting.
I'm sure if I had said, "All puppies are cute" that it would somehow been offensive.
Why don't you kindly F* OFF and leave me alone! Thank you and have a wonderful life! My post wasn't meant to be harsh or unfair Ginger. It was just a general statement about generalisations posted in a thread that there were many comments about it. They don't do anyone any good and nor does bashing or fighting.
My sentiments exactly....I agree 100%....
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gingerb: I wasn't running you down, I was saying that you and pt were unfairly had a go at.
Sorry if it came over wrong. I was actaully DEFENDING YOU.
Sorry if it came over wrong. I was actaully DEFENDING YOU.
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[/quoteI was trying to say that it wasn't you two that ran away from that girl and hurt her kid, but you seemed to be getting a bashing for it.
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Unlike some people...I don't have to jump on the first guy that comes along....My names NOT desperate.... 
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It's OK, I get those once in a while too.
Trying hard to fight it and maybe one of these days I'll be like "everyone" else. "
jmo but I thought that a tad unfair. It wasn't you two that left her.