My heart still breaks ( Archived) (226)

How can one be skeptical this day in age though in a world of virtual phone books with speed dial? You dial the number once, store it and it is always there at a click of a button. Hell. I don't even know some of my best friends numbers by heart because of this nor do they know mine.

It also was not that her email address was unavailable to me, Internet access is what was unavailable.


Anyway. Thanks for the posts everybody. I did manage to get some sleep finally. Now I have woke up sick as a dog, feeling completely drained. I guess a couple days of not sleeping in tears all the time will do that to you. I slept with the phone in hopes that she would come to her senses and call me. It didn't happen though and this girl I know now is not the same one I fell for. She is different.

This is how it works: it hurts like hell for a while. Then it hurts like 1/2 hell for a while longer. Then you find that your mind is not always occupied with her. Then, further on, you find yourself not thinking about her for whole days. Then weeks. Then you're OK.

The pain you feel is normal. It's part of the grieving process. And grieving and pain are associated with loss. If it wasn't good (the relationship and what you received from it), it wouldn't hurt. But there is no trick to avoid the grieving process. Don't even think of drinking or such - it may blunt your mind for a while, and then you're at the same point you were before the intoxication.

In the end it will pass, and you will be richer by an important experience. It'll all be fine, you'll see.

Yes i agree i know it also too well.

except i knew the numbers,email where available. 12 years of marriage and 2 children.
and it came down to hanging up the phone and doing (well... doing others).

i have the many nights and days with uncontrolable tears, the energy gone, sleepless for 3 and 4 days at a time and eating once every 3-4 days...

the best thing that happened was i went to a local church and took some christian counselling. which helped a lot. not a cure but atleast a better understanding.

Still in councelling 4 years later... so much has happened with the revolving door syndrome i offered her.

i say be careful and if it seems you are the only one doing the heartfelt work on the relationship, or find yourself compromising things you never would have excepted in your life... Just walk away it will not get any better just because you are defying your own morals to be with them says you have already gone and they are not with YOU anymore.

I would rather be alone and feel tormented (knowing peace will eventually come)
Than to be with someone and feel the torment of having to give up my ownself (knowing i could never be at peace with that)

I know that and I gave somebody else hurting very similar advice on another website yesterday.

I know how things work but intense emotions make you ignore all forms of logical thinking.

I just wish she was still the same person I knew a couple weeks ago.

Dear Friend

Sometimes what we want is not what is always good for us despite our best intentions. When we put all of ourselves into a relationship, in some ways we lose a part of ourselves. We forget that we are a whole person in ourself.

Things change for a reason, perhaps not what we want but because the door always opens to a new and better opportunity. Remember the saying, "Where one door closes, a window opens"? Try to remember those words. This is a learning experience in our journey of this life.

I've been in the resentment art and distrust cycle in a relationship with a cheating, abusive spouse. Mine ended in divorce because of it. Yes, I hurt and grieved for a few year, but time healed my hurt and now a new person has walked into my life through the door that opened up. My divorce was a learning experience for me. I learned about my inner strength because of it and during these past months of pain and healing and undergoing the pain of a few friendships ending. They were more learning experiences. The pain we suffer is a learning experience and is a chance to help us grow, to help us learn how to spread our wings and fly.Everything happens for a reason, though that reason may not be apparent at this very moment.

Try to learn from this experience.I've learned one thing through my life's experiences in relationships: Never, ever make someone a priority who doesn't make you theirs.

As for breakiintentions. When we put all of ourselves into a relationship, in some ways we lose a part of ourselves. We forget that we are a whole person in ourself.

Things change for a reason, perhaps not what we want but because the door always opens to a new and better opportunity. Remember the saying, "Where one door closes, a window opens"? Try to r

I've learned many things in my relationship experiences: Never, ever make someone a priority who doesn't make you theirs.

As for breaking up in an e-mail. That's the work and act of a coward who doesn't have the fortitude to do so to your face, at the very least during the course of a phone call. William Shakespeare once wrote, "A coward dies many times before their death, the valiant die but once".

*Gentle Hugs to you My Friend In Your Healing*