What's with love these days? (51)
Hi..I have wondered why it's so differn't now also..but if you look at changes in the society, their are a lot of reasons why..blaa,blaa
sometimes i think of this women.. in her nineties that I met who had recently lost her husband...she said they new each other one day-and got married because of the war...and stayed married..how?
One thing I have learned is love can be killed, along with commitment if it's onesided, at least in my experience.
Is it commitment, or just the right person?
sometimes i think of this women.. in her nineties that I met who had recently lost her husband...she said they new each other one day-and got married because of the war...and stayed married..how?
One thing I have learned is love can be killed, along with commitment if it's onesided, at least in my experience.
Is it commitment, or just the right person?
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Hi Langley
I am no expert as a human trying to find the light?
But I am reading A new earth by Echart Tolle.at the moment and has so many answers for me on life.
We are all in this big mess together dramas,emotions.......It can overwhelm .......
I urge everyone to read it to get insight on humanity........
I am no expert as a human trying to find the light?
But I am reading A new earth by Echart Tolle.at the moment and has so many answers for me on life.
We are all in this big mess together dramas,emotions.......It can overwhelm .......
I urge everyone to read it to get insight on humanity........
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langleygirl: I sometimes wonder if I was born in the wrong era or maybe I just don't understand love and relationships? When I say this I'm thinking about relationships of old - the kind that last 50-75 years. How were these young couples different than us today? Were and are their perceptions of a relationship different? Were they happy in their younger years and are they still happy? What's the difference that makes their relationships stand the test of time?
Many a couple I've come across were only acquainted a brief period of time before marriage ...... some a few short weeks ......... and here today many of us are well into middle age and still single .... with a few relationships under our belts. Are we too picky or so messed up that we can't sustain a relationship? Do we place too much emphasive on "feelings" instead of the commitment?
When I think of my relationship with my child - been a lot of moments of commitment rather than "happy love feelings".
Anyways - just seems to me that love was simpler then ........ sometimes I wish we could reverse time.
Many a couple I've come across were only acquainted a brief period of time before marriage ...... some a few short weeks ......... and here today many of us are well into middle age and still single .... with a few relationships under our belts. Are we too picky or so messed up that we can't sustain a relationship? Do we place too much emphasive on "feelings" instead of the commitment?
When I think of my relationship with my child - been a lot of moments of commitment rather than "happy love feelings".
Anyways - just seems to me that love was simpler then ........ sometimes I wish we could reverse time.
Society is different, more options for everyone, more selfishness too. Different attitude toward marriage--people weren't happier, per se, just believed differently, that you stayed married, etc. Lots of people stayed married and weren't 'fulfilled' or happy, there were affairs, misery...but they stayed married. Your nostalgic picture isn't realistic...people had just as many problems before, difference was attitudes toward marriage, society's and the individuals.
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EGOs........
Self.......
Inner forgotten.......
Too many wants and needs......
The movie of ones life...........
Inner self forgotten.............
We men from mars women from.Venus.......
Its simple no drama hate guilt jelousy....
Just enjoy the moment.
You may not wake up tomorrow?
Self.......
Inner forgotten.......
Too many wants and needs......
The movie of ones life...........
Inner self forgotten.............
We men from mars women from.Venus.......
Its simple no drama hate guilt jelousy....
Just enjoy the moment.
You may not wake up tomorrow?
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Don't forget,alot of people like me are single,and choose not to be committed.
Just because somebody is single,it doesn't mean they're unhappy,
WHETHER THEY'RE IN THEIR 30'S,40'S OR 50'S,
and if you need somebody in your life to be happy,then whatever you think it is......it isn't love,it's an ATTACHMENT......
and attachments destroy your capacity to LOVE.
Just because somebody is single,it doesn't mean they're unhappy,
WHETHER THEY'RE IN THEIR 30'S,40'S OR 50'S,
and if you need somebody in your life to be happy,then whatever you think it is......it isn't love,it's an ATTACHMENT......
and attachments destroy your capacity to LOVE.
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As fore marriage,I think it's more of a business transaction with couples these days than it is about commitment.
Personally,I don't think I EVER WANT TO GET MARRIED.
Personally,I don't think I EVER WANT TO GET MARRIED.
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IT'S ALL ABOUT 'TAKE.....TAKE...TAKE....' rather than 'GIVE.....GIVE......GIVE.....'
Now........
GIMME GIMME GIMME.
Now........
GIMME GIMME GIMME.
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thewall2: IT'S ALL ABOUT 'TAKE.....TAKE...TAKE....' rather than 'GIVE.....GIVE......GIVE.....'
Now........
GIMME GIMME GIMME.
Now........
GIMME GIMME GIMME.
no no noyou must say PLEASE
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thewall2: As fore marriage,I think it's more of a business transaction with couples these days than it is about commitment.
Personally,I don't think I EVER WANT TO GET MARRIED.
Personally,I don't think I EVER WANT TO GET MARRIED.
Bloody hell.. there is nowayyy I'd get married as a Business Transaction..
I wouldn't want to get stuck with someone I only 'Get on with' ..and 'ran good house and bills with'
I can do that on my own...
and be happy with it. . I'd rather stay single than that.
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Portiea: Society is different, more options for everyone, more selfishness too. Different attitude toward marriage--people weren't happier, per se, just believed differently, that you stayed married, etc. Lots of people stayed married and weren't 'fulfilled' or happy, there were affairs, misery...but they stayed married. Your nostalgic picture isn't realistic...people had just as many problems before, difference was attitudes toward marriage, society's and the individuals.
Hi Portiea that's what i was going to say! The expectation was a woman got married, had children, stayed home end of story. Now they have careers which opened up independance and new choices.------ This thread is Archived ------
I must say the nicest thing is to see an old aged couple holding hands walking stooped down the street. Not all old generations were unhappy, my grandparents knew each other three days when he proposed and they were blissful until the end.
I think we have too many expectations nowadays and it has become a disaposable society, throw it in the too hard basket when it gets hard going.
I think we have too many expectations nowadays and it has become a disaposable society, throw it in the too hard basket when it gets hard going.
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Polanski: I must say the nicest thing is to see an old aged couple holding hands walking stooped down the street. Not all old generations were unhappy, my grandparents knew each other three days when he proposed and they were blissful until the end.
I think we have too many expectations nowadays and it has become a disaposable society, throw it in the too hard basket when it gets hard going.
I think we have too many expectations nowadays and it has become a disaposable society, throw it in the too hard basket when it gets hard going.
I was thinking that too.
Disposable - something malfunctions, get a new one
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Yep
i think i have found love many times but never recognised it for what it was.
When 2 people are in a rwelationship its really question of learning how to compromise, share and most importantly, understand the needs of the other.
In my case, in my last relationship, once the girls became their own persons, hliving indenpendently of my partner and myself I think we both realised that they were our most comon interest and now they are away!
It was actually much more complicated that that, but that was one issue at least
i think i have found love many times but never recognised it for what it was.
When 2 people are in a rwelationship its really question of learning how to compromise, share and most importantly, understand the needs of the other.
In my case, in my last relationship, once the girls became their own persons, hliving indenpendently of my partner and myself I think we both realised that they were our most comon interest and now they are away!
It was actually much more complicated that that, but that was one issue at least
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Thank you.....three cheers for romantic men
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Polanski: I must say the nicest thing is to see an old aged couple holding hands walking stooped down the street. Not all old generations were unhappy, my grandparents knew each other three days when he proposed and they were blissful until the end.
I think we have too many expectations nowadays and it has become a disaposable society, throw it in the too hard basket when it gets hard going.
I think we have too many expectations nowadays and it has become a disaposable society, throw it in the too hard basket when it gets hard going.
Oh I agree.. I do think people often don't put much effort into marriages nowadays.. When things get tough instead of finding away throo it and making (imo) a stronger bond.. they tend to throw in the towel.
I'm sure lots of marriages (like your Gparents) were very happy back then.. I'm sure lots of them worked out as they intended...
I also agree with Portiea that sometimes people stayed put back then and took whatever unhappiness came their way.. lot's of times, horrible things where they didn't know how to get out or what to do.
I have spoken to a lot of older people who have told me what rotten marriages they had.. and those were people who were married for 50-60yrs.. How sad.. to spend all those yeeears unhappy.
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Polanski: I must say the nicest thing is to see an old aged couple holding hands walking stooped down the street. Not all old generations were unhappy, my grandparents knew each other three days when he proposed and they were blissful until the end.
I think we have too many expectations nowadays and it has become a disaposable society, throw it in the too hard basket when it gets hard going.
I think we have too many expectations nowadays and it has become a disaposable society, throw it in the too hard basket when it gets hard going.
Totally agree.......whatever happened to working through things with each other?------ This thread is Archived ------
langleygirl: I sometimes wonder if I was born in the wrong era or maybe I just don't understand love and relationships? When I say this I'm thinking about relationships of old - the kind that last 50-75 years. How were these young couples different than us today? Were and are their perceptions of a relationship different? Were they happy in their younger years and are they still happy? What's the difference that makes their relationships stand the test of time?
Many a couple I've come across were only acquainted a brief period of time before marriage ...... some a few short weeks ......... and here today many of us are well into middle age and still single .... with a few relationships under our belts. Are we too picky or so messed up that we can't sustain a relationship? Do we place too much emphasive on "feelings" instead of the commitment?
When I think of my relationship with my child - been a lot of moments of commitment rather than "happy love feelings".
Anyways - just seems to me that love was simpler then ........ sometimes I wish we could reverse time.
Many a couple I've come across were only acquainted a brief period of time before marriage ...... some a few short weeks ......... and here today many of us are well into middle age and still single .... with a few relationships under our belts. Are we too picky or so messed up that we can't sustain a relationship? Do we place too much emphasive on "feelings" instead of the commitment?
When I think of my relationship with my child - been a lot of moments of commitment rather than "happy love feelings".
Anyways - just seems to me that love was simpler then ........ sometimes I wish we could reverse time.
My parents were married for 55 years until my Dad died last year.I remember their rows over the years but both opted nonetheless to stay together.The perception of being married to older folks is different than to the newer generations.In the old days it was shameful being divorced.Cheating was considered an outright sin.So what happened over the years.Laws to get out of a marriage became lax and people became spoilt.Why duke something out with your partner if walking away is the easier solution.There isn't a person under my friends who isn't married the second or even the third time.Or a lot of them are separated or divorced and single again in mid age.Times have unfortunatelly changed all over the world.
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Claayer: Oh I agree.. I do think people often don't put much effort into marriages nowadays.. When things get tough instead of finding away throo it and making (imo) a stronger bond.. they tend to throw in the towel.
I'm sure lots of marriages (like your Gparents) were very happy back then.. I'm sure lots of them worked out as they intended ...
I also agree with Portiea that sometimes people stayed put back then and took whatever unhappiness came their way.. lot's of times, horrible things where they didn't know how to get out or what to do.
I have spoken to a lot of older people who have told me what rotten marriages they had.. and those were people who were married for 50-60yrs.. How sad.. to spend all those yeeears unhappy.
I'm sure lots of marriages (like your Gparents) were very happy back then.. I'm sure lots of them worked out as they intended ...
I also agree with Portiea that sometimes people stayed put back then and took whatever unhappiness came their way.. lot's of times, horrible things where they didn't know how to get out or what to do.
I have spoken to a lot of older people who have told me what rotten marriages they had.. and those were people who were married for 50-60yrs.. How sad.. to spend all those yeeears unhappy.
I wanted polanski's quote as well..
Anyway, I agree with most of the posts here. I do know one thing for many reasons ppl were more committed in the past, especially in the USA. We went through the Civil war, and other wars, depression and other things which made two people feel they needed to stay together as a team in order to get through life. The Irish of course had the Potatoe famine and wars..I mean the world was so much harder then. That would account for people staying together, happy or not. Then when you are old and stooped over, kids gone, all you have is each other...no reason to leave someone you know, or know how to control if they get mean, and a lot did.
Hope that made some sense....JMHO
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langleygirl: I sometimes wonder if I was born in the wrong era or maybe I just don't understand love and relationships? When I say this I'm thinking about relationships of old - the kind that last 50-75 years. How were these young couples different than us today? Were and are their perceptions of a relationship different? Were they happy in their younger years and are they still happy? What's the difference that makes their relationships stand the test of time?
Many a couple I've come across were only acquainted a brief period of time before marriage ...... some a few short weeks ......... and here today many of us are well into middle age and still single .... with a few relationships under our belts. Are we too picky or so messed up that we can't sustain a relationship? Do we place too much emphasive on "feelings" instead of the commitment?
When I think of my relationship with my child - been a lot of moments of commitment rather than "happy love feelings".
Anyways - just seems to me that love was simpler then ........ sometimes I wish we could reverse time.
Many a couple I've come across were only acquainted a brief period of time before marriage ...... some a few short weeks ......... and here today many of us are well into middle age and still single .... with a few relationships under our belts. Are we too picky or so messed up that we can't sustain a relationship? Do we place too much emphasive on "feelings" instead of the commitment?
When I think of my relationship with my child - been a lot of moments of commitment rather than "happy love feelings".
Anyways - just seems to me that love was simpler then ........ sometimes I wish we could reverse time.
The honesty and honor have disappeared completely in my opinion. People and relationships are disposable and nothing means anything any longer. There is no patience, no sense of endurance, no sense of taking chances with one's feelings, time and resources,and to top it all off people want guarantees where feelings and chemistry are concerned and there are no such guarantees where human nature is concerned; at best you might be getting sincerity and a willingness to try.
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Many a couple I've come across were only acquainted a brief period of time before marriage ...... some a few short weeks ......... and here today many of us are well into middle age and still single .... with a few relationships under our belts. Are we too picky or so messed up that we can't sustain a relationship? Do we place too much emphasive on "feelings" instead of the commitment?
When I think of my relationship with my child - been a lot of moments of commitment rather than "happy love feelings".
Anyways - just seems to me that love was simpler then ........ sometimes I wish we could reverse time.