What's with love these days? (51)
Polanski: I must say the nicest thing is to see an old aged couple holding hands walking stooped down the street. Not all old generations were unhappy, my grandparents knew each other three days when he proposed and they were blissful until the end.
I think we have too many expectations nowadays and it has become a disaposable society, throw it in the too hard basket when it gets hard going.
I think we have too many expectations nowadays and it has become a disaposable society, throw it in the too hard basket when it gets hard going.
I was walking by the beach a couple of weeks ago and I saw the nicest thing.. An old couple sharing lunch between them and he was being sooo nice to her. Putting food on her plate and generally just being nice. Such a rare thing to see these days!!------ This thread is Archived ------
constanza: The honesty and honor have disappeared completely in my opinion. People and relationships are disposable and nothing means anything any longer. There is no patience, no sense of endurance, no sense of taking chances with one's feelings, time and resources,and to top it all off people want guarantees where feelings and chemistry are concerned and there are no such guarantees where human nature is concerned; at best you might be getting sincerity and a willingness to try.
I agree. Very well put.
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The longer I'm on CS, the more cynical I become. I wonder if there's a connection? 
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Indyfella: The longer I'm on CS, the more cynical I become. I wonder if there's a connection?
You think???????
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constanza: The honesty and honor have disappeared completely in my opinion. People and relationships are disposable and nothing means anything any longer. There is no patience, no sense of endurance, no sense of taking chances with one's feelings, time and resources,and to top it all off people want guarantees where feelings and chemistry are concerned and there are no such guarantees where human nature is concerned; at best you might be getting sincerity and a willingness to try.
I disagree. I see honesty and honour in people every day.
Maybe it's a matter of what one chooses to see.
As far as taking chances, how can there be any success in anything if you don't? I take chances but I do weigh the odds before doing so. It would be stupidity not to.
There are no guarantees other than death and taxes so I don't expect any.
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Claayer: Hello? Hello? Is that yoooooo Marty?
Shuurrleee not.. Marty is never serious.
I know what you are saying.
Shuurrleee not.. Marty is never serious.
I know what you are saying.
Marty's full personality is never shown on Cs
You should know that Liz
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martyg: Marty's full personality is never shown on Cs
You should know that Liz
You should know that Liz
haha yeah.. I keep my inner most thoughts to myself too
(usually)
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Claayer: haha yeah.. I keep my inner most thoughts to myself too
(usually)
(usually)
We gotta keep something aside for that special one------ This thread is Archived ------
The cultural revolution during the 60's and the transition of this during the 70's (women working) set up the table for how we are today. Our society has embedded a fast food mentality in our unconscious. Today we demand service at the speed of light, if not, we look elsewhere. This mentality has worked it's way into how we approach relationships.
If you factor in the transformation of gender roles in relationships since the 70's, as well as factoring in how fast we have adjusted to these new roles, and it is pretty easy to see that the process is a slow and painful one. The divorce rate here in Sweden is over 60 percent! A huge portion of these divorces happen when the kids are between 1 and 5 years old.
How we communicate today is much different as well....texts, msn messenger, and email. There are people who would rather do serious talking indirectly, and not face to face.
Our society has kinda stressed individuals and our relationships. It takes time to see through the smoke screen. Love is all that matters. Nothing is perfect, and if you really want your relationship to work, roll up your sleeves and fight for your happy ending. I agree, too many give up too soon, especially when there is a lot at stake. However, if you have exhausted all measures, then sometimes love means letting go...as sad as it sounds.
If you factor in the transformation of gender roles in relationships since the 70's, as well as factoring in how fast we have adjusted to these new roles, and it is pretty easy to see that the process is a slow and painful one. The divorce rate here in Sweden is over 60 percent! A huge portion of these divorces happen when the kids are between 1 and 5 years old.
How we communicate today is much different as well....texts, msn messenger, and email. There are people who would rather do serious talking indirectly, and not face to face.
Our society has kinda stressed individuals and our relationships. It takes time to see through the smoke screen. Love is all that matters. Nothing is perfect, and if you really want your relationship to work, roll up your sleeves and fight for your happy ending. I agree, too many give up too soon, especially when there is a lot at stake. However, if you have exhausted all measures, then sometimes love means letting go...as sad as it sounds.
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We gotta learn to let all the old baggage go and begin to understand that everyone is different...
Give the next person a decent chance
Give the next person a decent chance
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martyg: We gotta learn to let all the old baggage go and begin to understand that everyone is different...
Give the next person a decent chance
Give the next person a decent chance
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what's love got to so with it??
what's love, but a second hand emotion.......Damn, wish I had written those words!!
what's love, but a second hand emotion.......Damn, wish I had written those words!!
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StressFree: The cultural revolution during the 60's and the transition of this during the 70's (women working) set up the table for how we are today. Our society has embedded a fast food mentality in our unconscious. Today we demand service at the speed of light, if not, we look elsewhere. This mentality has worked it's way into how we approach relationships.
If you factor in the transformation of gender roles in relationships since the 70's, as well as factoring in how fast we have adjusted to these new roles, and it is pretty easy to see that the process is a slow and painful one. The divorce rate here in Sweden is over 60 percent! A huge portion of these divorces happen when the kids are between 1 and 5 years old.
How we communicate today is much different as well....texts, msn messenger, and email. There are people who would rather do serious talking indirectly, and not face to face.
Our society has kinda stressed individuals and our relationships. It takes time to see through the smoke screen. Love is all that matters. Nothing is perfect, and if you really want your relationship to work, roll up your sleeves and fight for your happy ending. I agree, too many give up too soon, especially when there is a lot at stake. However, if you have exhausted all measures, then sometimes love means letting go...as sad as it sounds.
If you factor in the transformation of gender roles in relationships since the 70's, as well as factoring in how fast we have adjusted to these new roles, and it is pretty easy to see that the process is a slow and painful one. The divorce rate here in Sweden is over 60 percent! A huge portion of these divorces happen when the kids are between 1 and 5 years old.
How we communicate today is much different as well....texts, msn messenger, and email. There are people who would rather do serious talking indirectly, and not face to face.
Our society has kinda stressed individuals and our relationships. It takes time to see through the smoke screen. Love is all that matters. Nothing is perfect, and if you really want your relationship to work, roll up your sleeves and fight for your happy ending. I agree, too many give up too soon, especially when there is a lot at stake. However, if you have exhausted all measures, then sometimes love means letting go...as sad as it sounds.
My parents just celebrated their 35 years together last week. They walk on the streets holding hands and out of the blue they kiss each other.
Every time I am home I see them arguing, disagreeing , getting frustrated on each other, each complaining to be about the other…yet, they can’t live apart for more than one day.
Visiting me would be impossible for only one of them, they would be calling each other every half hour, making sure the other ate, is feeling well, did that and that….they can never , ever since I remember, enjoy something if the other one isn’t present.
I am buying my mom chocolate, she’s saving some for when my dad gets home…
They are from another generation, yet they lived the freedom and in the changed society; I guess they had the wisdom to adjust and didn’t let the important things out of sight.
I only hope I will grow to have something like that one day!
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Xtabentun: My parents just celebrated their 35 years together last week. They walk on the streets holding hands and out of the blue they kiss each other.
Every time I am home I see them arguing, disagreeing , getting frustrated on each other, each complaining to be about the other…yet, they can’t live apart for more than one day.
Visiting me would be impossible for only one of them, they would be calling each other every half hour, making sure the other ate, is feeling well, did that and that….they can never , ever since I remember, enjoy something if the other one isn’t present.
I am buying my mom chocolate, she’s saving some for when my dad gets home…
They are from another generation, yet they lived the freedom and in the changed society; I guess they had the wisdom to adjust and didn’t let the important things out of sight.
I only hope I will grow to have something like that one day!
Every time I am home I see them arguing, disagreeing , getting frustrated on each other, each complaining to be about the other…yet, they can’t live apart for more than one day.
Visiting me would be impossible for only one of them, they would be calling each other every half hour, making sure the other ate, is feeling well, did that and that….they can never , ever since I remember, enjoy something if the other one isn’t present.
I am buying my mom chocolate, she’s saving some for when my dad gets home…
They are from another generation, yet they lived the freedom and in the changed society; I guess they had the wisdom to adjust and didn’t let the important things out of sight.
I only hope I will grow to have something like that one day!
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a lot of the issues have been covered by others who commented, but I find the key thing that is there today is personal commitment is not the same and the its all about me syndrome is the main thing today, how much money you make, do you have more than the jones next door, how good a shape you are in... lots of issues, I never gave up on my marriage even to the day I walked in the court room and asked her... " Are you sure this is what you want?"
Marriage is not always about being perfect, happiness is a state of mind when you quit being selfish and think about the other person. Yes, it takes two but who makes the first move? You going to wait on the other person? or make the move yourself. As i said the ME ME ME syndrome of today is so strong.
Marriage is happiness when you love that person, thru thick and thin, committement, dedication, reliance. so much more but i dont want to be the big blabber lol.
Marriage is not always about being perfect, happiness is a state of mind when you quit being selfish and think about the other person. Yes, it takes two but who makes the first move? You going to wait on the other person? or make the move yourself. As i said the ME ME ME syndrome of today is so strong.
Marriage is happiness when you love that person, thru thick and thin, committement, dedication, reliance. so much more but i dont want to be the big blabber lol.
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Xtabentun: My parents just celebrated their 35 years together last week. They walk on the streets holding hands and out of the blue they kiss each other.
Every time I am home I see them arguing, disagreeing , getting frustrated on each other, each complaining to be about the other…yet, they can’t live apart for more than one day.
Visiting me would be impossible for only one of them, they would be calling each other every half hour, making sure the other ate, is feeling well, did that and that….they can never , ever since I remember, enjoy something if the other one isn’t present.
I am buying my mom chocolate, she’s saving some for when my dad gets home…
They are from another generation, yet they lived the freedom and in the changed society; I guess they had the wisdom to adjust and didn’t let the important things out of sight.
I only hope I will grow to have something like that one day!
Every time I am home I see them arguing, disagreeing , getting frustrated on each other, each complaining to be about the other…yet, they can’t live apart for more than one day.
Visiting me would be impossible for only one of them, they would be calling each other every half hour, making sure the other ate, is feeling well, did that and that….they can never , ever since I remember, enjoy something if the other one isn’t present.
I am buying my mom chocolate, she’s saving some for when my dad gets home…
They are from another generation, yet they lived the freedom and in the changed society; I guess they had the wisdom to adjust and didn’t let the important things out of sight.
I only hope I will grow to have something like that one day!
I think you hit it right on the head. Another generation. Seems to me everyone wants instant gratification. If it gets to be tough going, bail out. The older generation, and maybe I have to consider myself there or right at the cusp, worked at the relationship; they didn't give up. Religion, morals, everything at the time was groomed toward married life. All you have to do is look at the tube to see the change there. Hop in the sack and move on to the next! We've become a disposable society and marriage is just one more thing people dispose of.
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langleygirl: I sometimes wonder if I was born in the wrong era or maybe I just don't understand love and relationships? When I say this I'm thinking about relationships of old - the kind that last 50-75 years. How were these young couples different than us today? Were and are their perceptions of a relationship different? Were they happy in their younger years and are they still happy? What's the difference that makes their relationships stand the test of time?
Many a couple I've come across were only acquainted a brief period of time before marriage ...... some a few short weeks ......... and here today many of us are well into middle age and still single .... with a few relationships under our belts. Are we too picky or so messed up that we can't sustain a relationship? Do we place too much emphasive on "feelings" instead of the commitment?
When I think of my relationship with my child - been a lot of moments of commitment rather than "happy love feelings".
Anyways - just seems to me that love was simpler then ........ sometimes I wish we could reverse time.
Many a couple I've come across were only acquainted a brief period of time before marriage ...... some a few short weeks ......... and here today many of us are well into middle age and still single .... with a few relationships under our belts. Are we too picky or so messed up that we can't sustain a relationship? Do we place too much emphasive on "feelings" instead of the commitment?
When I think of my relationship with my child - been a lot of moments of commitment rather than "happy love feelings".
Anyways - just seems to me that love was simpler then ........ sometimes I wish we could reverse time.
There were much different values back then, in todays society people don't have the same values as the older genration, not all people, but the majority of todays people aren't interested in having a meaningful and loving relationship anymore it seems.. and those of us that want to pursue that have to weed through all the ones that don't want it, and hope we are not old and gray by the time we find it, if we ever do..
Then we have to deal with those that have been hurt by a previous boyfriend/girlfriend, and prove we are not like the person before we came along, with me, I don't hang out to long if a lady shows little or no interest in me.. I figure if that's the case, i'm just wasting my time.. and theirs... How many people are on this site? how many people do we see really hook up? How many start to show an interest, it last for about a week or two, maybe a month, and one or the other just begins to ignor you... hmmm, there always seems to be a problem somewhere.. And how many people get together and then start getting emails telling them to watch out for the one they are seeing...
Hey look if you have been hurt.. i'm sorry it happened to you.. all of us have at the age we are, but you have to pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and try again... just my 2 cents for what it's worth..
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xoredheadxo: Totally agree.......whatever happened to working through things with each other?
Many don't want to do the hard work. My father-in-law asked me if I couldn't settle for 40% effort from my late husband. I told Dad I could but the only problem was, my husband wanted me to settle for 25% effort from him(his words). Dad was broken up by his Son's expectations. He said he thought he'd taught him better than that.
I know his chemical dependencies had a lot to do with his outlook. It's so sad that there are many like him in logic and philosophy about marriage and wanting it all easy.
Equally sad is that we lost such promise of our lives, love and marriage to drugs and alcohol, that part is still bewildering for me. I was the dry one in our relationship, I never could understand how he got so caught up in that stuff right up to killing himself in a car accident.
I was taught it takes your all and I gave it everything I had. I want the long type of marriages our parents had but I have to admit, I won't accept a guy whom is not going to work at it again either.
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Hiya Constanza... true.. disposable... selfish...sadly