When do you really trust someone you've met online? (380)
constanzaLA, California USA28 Threads 1 Polls 5,159 PostsThe more I see the more I trust...and bottom line actions speak louder than words; so a timeline isn't a valid argument, unless he is hesitating when he shouldn't.
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Well after dating some for two to three times a week for 5 months then the ugly truth about them comes out. I don't totally trust most until after I dated them often for 6 months now.
I do have a few friends here that I have learned I can totally trust them. Now if only if I could find a man that I can trust as I do my friends here and right from the start that would be the greatest
I do have a few friends here that I have learned I can totally trust them. Now if only if I could find a man that I can trust as I do my friends here and right from the start that would be the greatest
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rasgumby: Exactly my point!
we can't look at them here, Just a photo, which is usually a really old photo anyway. (hell yes I looked much better 20 years ago)
BTW.. two dollar bills are real!!
we can't look at them here, Just a photo, which is usually a really old photo anyway. (hell yes I looked much better 20 years ago)
BTW.. two dollar bills are real!!
Funny because I was really scared to try online meeting people. So I got these professional pics done in black and white (I love black and white photography) and they were ugly but brand new and I met this guy who was like 15 years older than me and the first thing he said was "you look older than your pictures" WTF? So now I don't sweat it.
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Until they give me a good reason to NOT trust them..
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Hello! Nice to meet you too!
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mylifewithu: Well after dating some for two to three times a week for 5 months then the ugly truth about them comes out. I don't totally trust most until after I dated them often for 6 months now.
I do have a few friends here that I have learned I can totally trust them. Now if only if I could find a man that I can trust as I do my friends here and right from the start that would be the greatest
I do have a few friends here that I have learned I can totally trust them. Now if only if I could find a man that I can trust as I do my friends here and right from the start that would be the greatest
You could be married to someone for years and not find out what they are really capable of until it happens; there are no guarantees, but I do believe that trust is earned.
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sassy49senior: You are such a sweet and honest person Dru. But I do
understand how we all have our own way when it comes
to trust. I guess I need to add that there are some
people that I come in contact with in RL that I can
tell just by looking at them that they are as phony
as a two dollar bill as they say.
understand how we all have our own way when it comes
to trust. I guess I need to add that there are some
people that I come in contact with in RL that I can
tell just by looking at them that they are as phony
as a two dollar bill as they say.
Thank you, Sassy. And yes...there are some you just know are phony people. I've learned to spot them in person pretty well...for the most part. It's the ones who are really good at pretending to be what they're not that still get past me.
Maybe I need to go back behind the brick wall.
(NOT!)
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laura225: Oh, definitely both ways, Dru
It's when you know each other well enough with all the flaws, s/he usually senses your acceptance and feels comfortable to be vulnerable and honest towards you.
It's when you know each other well enough with all the flaws, s/he usually senses your acceptance and feels comfortable to be vulnerable and honest towards you.
Yes, but even then, trust can be fragile...especially if it's still only online.
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druidess6308: How long does it take for you to trust someone that you've met online? Does it happen quickly and easily, or does it take time? Do you think it's different if you meet them in forums as opposed to just contact by email?
For me, trust takes time. I don't think that trust is something that you can establish in a few weeks of emailing or IMing with someone, especially if you haven't been able to move that to talking on the phone, or even meeting in person. Do you even trust a person after meeting them once? Or does it take more than one meeting to know that the person you've met online is the same person in reality?
I think it would still take months, and building that relationship over time to establish full trust. I might be totally open with that person, and love them without hesitation, especially if I met them in forums. I'm so open on here that it would be hard not to give that person even more openness. But does it mean that trust is 100% established? Can we ever trust another 100%? I believe I can, but that level of trust would definitely take time.
So...what would happen if you suddenly lost communication with them? If they disappeared completely without any explanation and you didn't hear from them for several days? Would you still be able to trust them during that time? Would you have blind faith in someone you only knew online if that happened? And would you trust them when they returned with an explanation? Would there ever be a good enough explanation for this? How long do you think it would take before you did lose trust and faith?
Please, share your opinions on this matter.
For me, trust takes time. I don't think that trust is something that you can establish in a few weeks of emailing or IMing with someone, especially if you haven't been able to move that to talking on the phone, or even meeting in person. Do you even trust a person after meeting them once? Or does it take more than one meeting to know that the person you've met online is the same person in reality?
I think it would still take months, and building that relationship over time to establish full trust. I might be totally open with that person, and love them without hesitation, especially if I met them in forums. I'm so open on here that it would be hard not to give that person even more openness. But does it mean that trust is 100% established? Can we ever trust another 100%? I believe I can, but that level of trust would definitely take time.
So...what would happen if you suddenly lost communication with them? If they disappeared completely without any explanation and you didn't hear from them for several days? Would you still be able to trust them during that time? Would you have blind faith in someone you only knew online if that happened? And would you trust them when they returned with an explanation? Would there ever be a good enough explanation for this? How long do you think it would take before you did lose trust and faith?
Please, share your opinions on this matter.
Very good question to post, thank you.
It takes a long time for me:
Trust comes after months of chatting online
Countless hours of talking on the phone
Meeting them in person for several times
Would help to start a fight/disagreement
and see what they are made of.Then ask my mind and
, if both are fine then they worth the trust. oops probably lost every chance of men contacting me after this post
It is fine I am here to make more friends ..
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rasgumby: LMFAO- If I wasn't honest, why would I put up this picture of myself...OMG! what an old fart!!!
Like h*ll you are! Your pics are wonderful, Ras. Honestly.
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constanza: The more I see the more I trust...and bottom line actions speak louder than words; so a timeline isn't a valid argument, unless he is hesitating when he shouldn't.
Ain't that the truth.
No, there shouldn't be a timeline written in stone...and very few have put one of those in their posts. It's been more of a matter for most of it taking time, in general, and also meeting in person several times in conjunction with the emails, IM's, and phone calls. Even a relationship started in real life, and almost always conducted in person, takes time for trust to build between two people, IMO.------ This thread is Archived ------
mylifewithu: Well after dating some for two to three times a week for 5 months then the ugly truth about them comes out. I don't totally trust most until after I dated them often for 6 months now.
I do have a few friends here that I have learned I can totally trust them. Now if only if I could find a man that I can trust as I do my friends here and right from the start that would be the greatest
I do have a few friends here that I have learned I can totally trust them. Now if only if I could find a man that I can trust as I do my friends here and right from the start that would be the greatest
I don't think I could ever trust a man "right from the start" completely. However, I could trust one that I met here, in forums, enough to give more trust than I would a stranger that I just started emailing with and had never been in forums. Still, it would be a fragile thing for a while. Not weak, and not non-existent, but fragile. I'd be too raw and open at first, as well. Easily bruised, like a rose. And one might feel some thorns, occasionally, too if one bruised that rose. But then, isn't that expected in the beginning?
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constanza: You could be married to someone for years and not find out what they are really capable of until it happens; there are no guarantees, but I do believe that trust is earned.
Very true. Been there, as well. Again, too many times...twice in a row, as a matter of fact. One, though, I have to admit wasn't his fault. It was the "Hyde" effect his medications for his back pain had on him. The second one had no such excuse. He was just very good at portraying himself to be something very different than what he was.
Yes, trust is earned, and it takes time to earn it.
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linarl: Very good question to post, thank you.
It takes a long time for me:
Trust comes after months of chatting online
Countless hours of talking on the phone
Meeting them in person for several times
Would help to start a fight/disagreement and see what they are made of.
Then ask my mind and , if both are fine then they worth the trust.
oops probably lost every chance of men contacting me after this post It is fine I am here to make more friends ..
It takes a long time for me:
Trust comes after months of chatting online
Countless hours of talking on the phone
Meeting them in person for several times
Would help to start a fight/disagreement and see what they are made of.
Then ask my mind and , if both are fine then they worth the trust.
oops probably lost every chance of men contacting me after this post It is fine I am here to make more friends ..
Works, though, if the fight happens naturally. Then you really see what the other person is made of...and if the love was ever really real on their part. ------ This thread is Archived ------
druidess6308: Yes, but even then, trust can be fragile...especially if it's still only online.
I've been here (on CS) over half a year, Dru, and have seen enough to not even consider it being a start/base for a relationship until I can meet them in person.
As I said in my reply to Ken, "virtual trust" is for idiots (I said it in slightly different words but the meaning is basically the same).
If there is any potential between two people, there is no reason to postpone meeting and go from there... or not...
To me, after first few dates is a good time to START.
All the fuss over 'what we are going to do' with profile liars is for people who believes in beautifully arranged profiles.
I am not one of them. I make my own mind and allow my 'potential man' to get to know ME, not my PROFILE.
And allow all the profile-fussers continue fussing over other ppl's profiles.
You know what they say - to each their own.
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i aint got a clue....i'm not good at the whole dating thing, much less on-line dating......as they say....live and learn...
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jlw45: i aint got a clue....i'm not good at the whole dating thing, much less on-line dating......as they say....live and learn...
Me either but I don't feel you can totally trust them until you have met each other and hung out for awhile.------ This thread is Archived ------
loverboy690: Me either but I don't feel you can totally trust them until you have met each other and hung out for awhile.
Amen
You'll do just fine!
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TroyBoy: ....where's the LOVE, Laura?
I thought they locked you in that other thread?!? You are fast!
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