When do you really trust someone you've met online? (380)
DazzleYou: I told her I would be gone over the holidays. I told her several times before I actually left.
Okay sorry but it sounded to me that she didnt know until
you came back..
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kissmedeeply: Okay sorry but it sounded to me that she didnt know until
you came back..
Read what she wrote..you came back..
It said he disappreared and explain why when he came back..
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LACali: Can I change my answer Dru? I've changed my mind after being sort of left hanging without word all week. But you know I'm a Gemini so I never really trusted from the beginning....
Btw, I know that "left hanging" feeling. Does tend to make one wonder if they can trust a person or not. Makes you feel confused, bewildered, hurt...until you get a word of explanation.
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druidess6308: Thank you, KMD...yes, one is until you finally hear from the person with a reasonable explanation. I don't think that should be considered an offense to the one who went away w/o explanation...regardless of the reason. After all, they know what's going on, but the one facing the silence for all of that time does not.
Yes its about them two..
and they only know..
but there are red flags to consider and its nice to
have advice from others..but it all comes down to
the individuals themself..
And if i had of listen i wouldnt be where i am today..
So for all of you who want a relationship go for it...
Becos if you dont you may always wonder WHAT IF
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Ambrose2007: I think "innocent until proven guilty" is the correct stance. In other words, one's trust of a person one likes ought to be presumptive: we assume he or she is a good person (not, for instance, a serial killer or child-abuser or chronic liar) until we have evidence to the contrary.
Response:
HJFinAZ: YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Pat, I wanted to point out that there is 'trust' and there is 'trust'...
The trust I am talking about in my reply to Ken is totally different (level? nature?) of trust:
'Yes!!!!!' would be right in case of the kind of trust that Jeff is talking about.
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laura225: Response:
Pat, I wanted to point out that there is 'trust' and there is 'trust'...
The trust I am talking about in my reply to Ken is totally different (level? nature?) of trust:
'Yes!!!!!' would be right in case of the kind of trust that Jeff is talking about.
Pat, I wanted to point out that there is 'trust' and there is 'trust'...
The trust I am talking about in my reply to Ken is totally different (level? nature?) of trust:
'Yes!!!!!' would be right in case of the kind of trust that Jeff is talking about.
You forget, I am old and senile.. I have forgotten all harms done to me (and have forgiven myself for all harms I did). I am a true nutcase, I will trust anyone with anything I have. ANYBODY, would be welcome to my home at any time..
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'See through yourself,you'll see through everybody.Then you'll be able to love them,while you're the whole time grappling about your false illusions of them.'-Tony Demello
Awareness.....Awareness,,,Awareness....
Awareness.....Awareness,,,Awareness....
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druidess6308: Thank you, KMD...yes, one is until you finally hear from the person with a reasonable explanation. I don't think that should be considered an offense to the one who went away w/o explanation...regardless of the reason. After all, they know what's going on, but the one facing the silence for all of that time does not.
Hence why the one leaving should tell the other. It should be known "Oh, I'm going to vanish for a few days, I should tell the person who'd worry themself sick over me what's going on."
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druidess6308: I'm sorry to hear that, Anna. And I understand. Being burned does make it harder...I hope one day you can trust others again.
Oh I've survived through it. I told this one particular guy to leave me totally alone and not call me or email anymore.The person who was acting this way striked me as being a very controling person and seemed to be very jealous if he saw me even speak with other men on this site.
He would say negative things about one man in particular that I was commuicating with quite often in the forums and say this guy was up to no good.He would also ask me if I had a thing going on for this other guy.Which in reality wasn't his business to begin with. I'd be in real good spirits most times he'd call me and sometimes during our conversations it was like he'd want me to feel down.This all took place when I was in mourning of my late husband. It's like he was taking advantage of that fact.At the time I fed right into it but later on after realizing what was going on I finally decided to cut off all contact with him by changing my phone number etc.
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somechick: Oh I've survived through it. I told this one particular guy to leave me totally alone and not call me or email anymore.The person who was acting this way striked me as being a very controling person and seemed to be very jealous if he saw me even speak with other men on this site.
He would say negative things about one man in particular that I was commuicating with quite often in the forums and say this guy was up to no good.He would also ask me if I had a thing going on for this other guy.Which in reality wasn't his business to begin with. I'd be in real good spirits most times he'd call me and sometimes during our conversations it was like he'd want me to feel down.This all took place when I was in mourning of my late husband. It's like he was taking advantage of that fact.At the time I fed right into it but later on after realizing what was going on I finally decided to cut off all contact with him by changing my phone number etc.
He would say negative things about one man in particular that I was commuicating with quite often in the forums and say this guy was up to no good.He would also ask me if I had a thing going on for this other guy.Which in reality wasn't his business to begin with. I'd be in real good spirits most times he'd call me and sometimes during our conversations it was like he'd want me to feel down.This all took place when I was in mourning of my late husband. It's like he was taking advantage of that fact.At the time I fed right into it but later on after realizing what was going on I finally decided to cut off all contact with him by changing my phone number etc.
Sounds like he fit the definition of "douchebag" perfectly. Good thing you managed to get out of that one.
I've known far too many who didn't have the strength to get out and are still stuck with people like that.------ This thread is Archived ------
thewall2: 'See through yourself,you'll see through everybody.Then you'll be able to love them,while you're the whole time grappling about your false illusions of them.'-Tony Demello
Awareness.....Awareness,,,Awareness....
Awareness.....Awareness,,,Awareness....
Some of the best seminars I have ever listened to.. More should follow his lead..
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HJFinAZ: You forget, I am old and senile.. I have forgotten all harms done to me (and have forgiven myself for all harms I did). I am a true nutcase, I will trust anyone with anything I have. ANYBODY, would be welcome to my home at any time..
Haha... no,Pat, I don't - you don't let :) any of as to forget that!
As for "ANYBODY, would be welcome to my home at any time..", yes, I know that too about you, and it was discussed here in forums a number of times - many women pointed out that it would be utterly dumb kind of trust for a woman - your belief: owning a gun would be a way to overcome this 'female-like' attitude, right?
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druidess6308: Btw, I know that "left hanging" feeling. Does tend to make one wonder if they can trust a person or not. Makes you feel confused, bewildered, hurt...until you get a word of explanation.
I hate that feeling too, but the way I see it - if someone's really interested in you, he won't consistently take a week to respond. The thing about this site is that you can see when people have been online, so if he's been online and takes a week to respond, I think you can safely move him to the "friend" pile and keep looking, at least until he makes him intentions clear. jmo.
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Don't believe that the people one meets on line are any different then the ones you meet in real life.
There are all sorts.....nice ones, depressed ones, suicidal ones, and yes, lousy ones too.
It's up to you to decide what, who, where and when.
There is no one rule to cover all situations that may evolve.
There are all sorts.....nice ones, depressed ones, suicidal ones, and yes, lousy ones too.
It's up to you to decide what, who, where and when.
There is no one rule to cover all situations that may evolve.
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kissmedeeply: hey sweetie..i know how you feel...many people in Canada were
like that also..
My family thinking he could be an axe murder. or something..
but ur friends have not been commincating with this man but
you have..they dont know how he feels or what he says to you..
If you feel in ur heart that he is being honest and truthful and
all that then honey go for it..
but i will say one thing though.you did mention about him going
somewhere and not telling you until he came back..ouchhhhh that
is something you should think about..
becos silence is not golden all the time..
If my b/f (husband) at the time went away for more then 3 days
without even a phone call or mail to let me know he wont be
around to call..I would really be suspicious..
but again we are not you..we can only give you advice..
Go with what you feel..becos if i had of listen to my family
and friends I wouldnt be married to my husband now..
All the best sweetie
like that also..
My family thinking he could be an axe murder. or something..
but ur friends have not been commincating with this man but
you have..they dont know how he feels or what he says to you..
If you feel in ur heart that he is being honest and truthful and
all that then honey go for it..
but i will say one thing though.you did mention about him going
somewhere and not telling you until he came back..ouchhhhh that
is something you should think about..
becos silence is not golden all the time..
If my b/f (husband) at the time went away for more then 3 days
without even a phone call or mail to let me know he wont be
around to call..I would really be suspicious..
but again we are not you..we can only give you advice..
Go with what you feel..becos if i had of listen to my family
and friends I wouldnt be married to my husband now..
All the best sweetie
Hey KMD
I need to clear something up. He did let me know he was going away. I guess I worded it wrong. I want to apologize. He was just gone longer than anticipated & I guess I just missed him...
He really seems to be a very up-front & good person. I have no reason to doubt him or anything he's told me. If I felt even the least bit suspicious, I'd probably back away. He's a great guy & I'm enjoying getting to know him better. Sorry to make it sound like he's less than he claims to be. My bad!
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sweetowen: Hey KMD
I need to clear something up. He did let me know he was going away. I guess I worded it wrong. I want to apologize. He was just gone longer than anticipated & I guess I just missed him...
He really seems to be a very up-front & good person. I have no reason to doubt him or anything he's told me. If I felt even the least bit suspicious, I'd probably back away. He's a great guy & I'm enjoying getting to know him better. Sorry to make it sound like he's less than he claims to be. My bad!
I need to clear something up. He did let me know he was going away. I guess I worded it wrong. I want to apologize. He was just gone longer than anticipated & I guess I just missed him...
He really seems to be a very up-front & good person. I have no reason to doubt him or anything he's told me. If I felt even the least bit suspicious, I'd probably back away. He's a great guy & I'm enjoying getting to know him better. Sorry to make it sound like he's less than he claims to be. My bad!
aww its ok..
you just do what you feel is best for you and him
its just the distance and not seeing each other is
a killer
I know i been through that..
you think its tough now becos you havent seen him..wait
until you do see him and then go back..its really rough
in the time you have to wait again for the visit.
but its well worth it when it all works out in the end
I will tell you its a rough rough road ahead until all
get settle and you are where you want to be
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'Living my life the way I SEE FIT is not selfish.
Demanding other people live their life the way I SEE fit is.'
I got DE MELO in my veins brudder....
Demanding other people live their life the way I SEE fit is.'
I got DE MELO in my veins brudder....
HJFinAZ: Some of the best seminars I have ever listened to.. More should follow his lead..
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Who are we talking about owen?
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thewall2: 'Living my life the way I SEE FIT is not selfish.
Demanding other people live their life the way I SEE fit is.'
I got DE MELO in my veins brudder....
Demanding other people live their life the way I SEE fit is.'
I got DE MELO in my veins brudder....
''Now you all better behave the way I WANT you to behave,or I SHALL punish myself by having negative feelings of you.Now doesn't that sound smart!''lol
Tony DeMello.
Off to work....
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like that also..
My family thinking he could be an axe murder. or something..
but ur friends have not been commincating with this man but
you have..they dont know how he feels or what he says to you..
If you feel in ur heart that he is being honest and truthful and
all that then honey go for it..
but i will say one thing though.you did mention about him going
somewhere and not telling you until he came back..ouchhhhh that
is something you should think about..
becos silence is not golden all the time..
If my b/f (husband) at the time went away for more then 3 days
without even a phone call or mail to let me know he wont be
around to call..I would really be suspicious..
but again we are not you..we can only give you advice..
Go with what you feel..becos if i had of listen to my family
and friends I wouldnt be married to my husband now..
All the best sweetie
Thank you, KMD...yes, one is until you finally hear from the person with a reasonable explanation. I don't think that should be considered an offense to the one who went away w/o explanation...regardless of the reason. After all, they know what's going on, but the one facing the silence for all of that time does not.