The words I heard
Just blew my mind
When the doctor said
“You are pregnant”

For so many years
We tried and failed
Kept up our hopes
But never succeeding

I would look at friends
And see their children
Then ask myself
What is wrong with me

The news I spread
With much excitement
We wanted to share
With the whole wide world

We painted the spare room
Into a nursery
Started to fill it
With all sorts of things

So happy we were
Dreaming all those dreams
Just baby and us
Bright and happy future

The next check up
Straight away I knew
By the look in their eyes
Something tragically wrong

“Anencephaly,” they said
And if that’s not enough
There is also malformation
Severely bent and twisted

The choices they gave
Was to terminate
But should it go full term
It may not live past the hour

Round and round in my mind
The thoughts each other chase
Have I the right to terminate
Or the right to make it suffer

Abortion is for me so wrong
Against it all my life
But could it be to carry on
Something so much worse

At night I prayed
On my knees to God
Answers I was seeking
To show me the way

Finally with many tears
I reached my decision
The best for the baby would be
Not to make it suffer

The pregnancy was terminated
I felt dreadfully empty
Even though I knew it was right
Why did I feel so terrible

Every baby that I see
I ask why could mine not be
Why did this have to happen
Why could things not be

In the nursery I sit at night
Amongst the things we bought
Pain tears my soul apart
And tears soak my blouse

Was about three years later
That I had another chance
Excited yet terrified
How would this time be

It was a girl
Beautiful and perfect
The joy of our life
A blessing to us