The Aura of Female Mystery as it Relates to Communication (202)
A_Non_A_Moose: And really, why would we ever want to figure you out? You are far more fun just the way your are,...the perplexing "mystery" that just seems so right! If it didn't feel that way, do you really think we would be going out trying to bring down a mammoth? Ground squirrels are WAY easier to catch, and make tasty snacks when watching the game on the tube!
Elmorya: Well, I think women in general have better intuitive feelings/emotions....
And a real live gypsy woman would definitely (for me), potray an aura of mystique - at least so I think!
Only one way to find out....Any gypsy women on this site?
And a real live gypsy woman would definitely (for me), potray an aura of mystique - at least so I think!
Only one way to find out....Any gypsy women on this site?
Happygolucky4u: I am not sure why it is or that it is I learned early in life I am not a mind reader and I cannot tell another humanbeing what they are thinking and how they feel. So I just always assumed others were not mind readers either If a man wants mystery from me it will not be that kind of mystery. To put the nut in the shell it does not sound like alot of fun. Comunication to me is the bases of a good relationship.
exactly...
RDM59: Is that you bragging again ....
insinuating that you are hung like a bull .....
insinuating that you are hung like a bull .....
Heh. Ah, you got me, RD.
Funny results in the poll, no? "Experienced" older men strongly favor the "mystery"/"vague" element in female communication, while the older women completely disagree! Go figure.
A_Non_A_Moose: Hi Ambrose,...its the Mammoth hunter again,..damn, those are tough critters to bring down!
Women think and interpret the world by utilizing both hemispheres of the brain on a roughly equal basis. Men tend to be more left hemisphere oriented,...spatial, mathematical,..all requiring precise and concise terms of reference when it comes to communication. We are basically simple creatures - fight or flight. Women on the other hand are more of the "tend and befriend" way of thinking,...they are indeed more apt to examine the emotional side of matters in a way that befuddles the primal within every man. Yes, men also have a right hemisphere,...and use it also, but not to the same degree as women,...
So I would not say that women prefer more vagueness and mystery, but rather, the way they interpret the world is a mystery to many men. IMHO
Women think and interpret the world by utilizing both hemispheres of the brain on a roughly equal basis. Men tend to be more left hemisphere oriented,...spatial, mathematical,..all requiring precise and concise terms of reference when it comes to communication. We are basically simple creatures - fight or flight. Women on the other hand are more of the "tend and befriend" way of thinking,...they are indeed more apt to examine the emotional side of matters in a way that befuddles the primal within every man. Yes, men also have a right hemisphere,...and use it also, but not to the same degree as women,...
So I would not say that women prefer more vagueness and mystery, but rather, the way they interpret the world is a mystery to many men. IMHO
Well, part of being a good communicator, I think, is knowing/learning how to speak to the "primitives," no, Moose? And in all fairness, getting in touch with one's feminine side (no illicit touching allowed!
)is something a dude should attempt to some degree in understanding ladies. Any romantic relationship should entail an effort to achieve mutual understanding.That's one reason I took to wearing wigs, dresses, and stiletto heels - to better understand this mysterious species. Didn't really help all that much, except now I understand a little about why they can be irritable at times.
(The back pain from high heels is alone enough to explain that.)Ambrose2007: Well, part of being a good communicator, I think, is knowing/learning how to speak to the "primitives," no, Moose? And in all fairness, getting in touch with one's feminine side (no illicit touching allowed! )is something a dude should attempt to some degree in understanding ladies. Any romantic relationship should entail an effort to achieve mutual understanding.
That's one reason I took to wearing wigs, dresses, and stiletto heels - to better understand this mysterious species. Didn't really help all that much, except now I understand a little about why they can be irritable at times. (The back pain from high heels is alone enough to explain that.)
That's one reason I took to wearing wigs, dresses, and stiletto heels - to better understand this mysterious species. Didn't really help all that much, except now I understand a little about why they can be irritable at times. (The back pain from high heels is alone enough to explain that.)
There is nothing quite as amazing as hunting the mammoth, spear in hand, fishnet stockings clinging to ones legs!
II totally agree! A true man, an understanding man, a loving man will try very hard to shift to the "right". And it is so worth the journey, because, hey,...you know,...they are,...women,...the REASON we go get trampled by mammoths! The more a guy can shift right, the more "in touch" he may become with his feminine side,...but when push comes to shove,...really,...don't most women prefer the "hunter of mammoths"? The original "responsible" "bad boy"?.
True, any romantic relationship should entail an effort to acheive mutual understanding,...but really, are not relationships much deeper than this,....?? With friendships comes mutual understanding,...with the intimate bond that can form between a man and a woman comes something more primal,...and if not recognized, comprehended and understood,...something is bound to go amiss,..IMHO
Good evening from balmy St. Louis Ambrose.
Here is my theory concerning Mysterious Communication Preferences for post-50 women. Menopause is like a Hoover...all thoughts and short-term memories and conversations get sucked into another dimension. So what appear "Mysterious" to you, may just be that we don't know which way is up.
Here is my theory concerning Mysterious Communication Preferences for post-50 women. Menopause is like a Hoover...all thoughts and short-term memories and conversations get sucked into another dimension. So what appear "Mysterious" to you, may just be that we don't know which way is up.
Kaybee50: Good evening from balmy St. Louis Ambrose.
Here is my theory concerning Mysterious Communication Preferences for post-50 women. Menopause is like a Hoover...all thoughts and short-term memories and conversations get sucked into another dimension. So what appear "Mysterious" to you, may just be that we don't know which way is up.
Here is my theory concerning Mysterious Communication Preferences for post-50 women. Menopause is like a Hoover...all thoughts and short-term memories and conversations get sucked into another dimension. So what appear "Mysterious" to you, may just be that we don't know which way is up.
ahhhhhh but there is proven fact that there is such a thing as " male menopause" so does the mysterious communication theory work the same?
Also when it comes to men they do become very stubborn in their old age.. ie there way or the highway!
hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm more to bonder over!!!!!
Needless to say this forum has been very entertaining!
Men need women and women need men hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
leo1shay: ahhhhhh but there is proven fact that there is
such a thing as " male menopause" so does the mysterious communication theory work the same?
Also when it comes to men they do become very stubborn in their old age.. ie there way or the highway!
hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm more to bonder over!!!!!
Needless to say this forum has been very entertaining!
Men need women and women need men hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
Wouldn't it be lovely if there were vending machines filled with men, so that when our "need" of men arises, we can just pop down the hall and make our selection? such a thing as " male menopause" so does the mysterious communication theory work the same?
Also when it comes to men they do become very stubborn in their old age.. ie there way or the highway!
hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm more to bonder over!!!!!
Needless to say this forum has been very entertaining!
Men need women and women need men hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
Is there a mystery, or a lack of empathy?
I wouldn't call it vagueness, but it is mysterious to us logically minded men. Women tend to depend more on intuition than on logic. And it works for them. They don't try to analyze all the details, instead they just tune in to their own emotional responses to any given situation. It's somewhat akin to the difference between digital and analogical computing or the difference between an electronic calculator and a slide rule.
Ambrose2007: Yeah, I think you hit the relationship "nail" on its...uh, "head," V. Very nicely put.
I, like you, don't see any reason why we can't learn each other's "codes." Just requires a little motivation and a little work, methinks.
I, like you, don't see any reason why we can't learn each other's "codes." Just requires a little motivation and a little work, methinks.
And a lot of LOVE!!!!!...........Be in it to win it!!!
Kaybee50: Good evening from balmy St. Louis Ambrose.
Here is my theory concerning Mysterious Communication Preferences for post-50 women. Menopause is like a Hoover...all thoughts and short-term memories and conversations get sucked into another dimension. So what appear "Mysterious" to you, may just be that we don't know which way is up.
Here is my theory concerning Mysterious Communication Preferences for post-50 women. Menopause is like a Hoover...all thoughts and short-term memories and conversations get sucked into another dimension. So what appear "Mysterious" to you, may just be that we don't know which way is up.
I do recall something like that happening with my ex-wife. But thankfully she managed - we both did to a degree - to maintain a sense of humor about it. 
RayfromUSA: I wouldn't call it vagueness, but it is mysterious to us logically minded men. Women tend to depend more on intuition than on logic. And it works for them. They don't try to analyze all the details, instead they just tune in to their own emotional responses to any given situation. It's somewhat akin to the difference between digital and analogical computing or the difference between an electronic calculator and a slide rule.
Well, I think that's probably true as a general rule. This does not excuse, however, lack of clear communication in women anymore than it excuses lack of empathy or an over-emphasis on logical discourse in men.
Good analogy about analog versus digital.
Obviously, your brain is working fine after your surgery, Ray. My best wishes on a speedy recovery, by the way!
leigh2154: And a lot of LOVE!!!!!...........Be in it to win it!!!
Be in wot win...in it to win it...hmmmm...trying to decide which I like more, V. But I do like the sentiment.
Now more than ever do I see the wisdom of taking the relationship bull by the horns (or relationship cow by the, uh...heh) instead of adopting the usual laissez-faire, let's see how it goes, time will tell, etc., approach which I now view as largely defeatist.
Ambrose2007: Be in wot TO win...in it to win it...hmmmm...trying to decide which I like more, V. But I do like the sentiment.
Now more than ever do I see the wisdom of taking the relationship bull by the horns (or relationship cow by the, uh...heh) instead of adopting the usual laissez-faire, let's see how it goes, time will tell, etc., approach which I now view as largely defeatist.
Now more than ever do I see the wisdom of taking the relationship bull by the horns (or relationship cow by the, uh...heh) instead of adopting the usual laissez-faire, let's see how it goes, time will tell, etc., approach which I now view as largely defeatist.
Kaybee50: Good evening from balmy St. Louis Ambrose.
Here is my theory concerning Mysterious Communication Preferences for post-50 women. Menopause is like a Hoover...all thoughts and short-term memories and conversations get sucked into another dimension. So what appear "Mysterious" to you, may just be that we don't know which way is up.
Here is my theory concerning Mysterious Communication Preferences for post-50 women. Menopause is like a Hoover...all thoughts and short-term memories and conversations get sucked into another dimension. So what appear "Mysterious" to you, may just be that we don't know which way is up.
I think your theory is delightful, and you of course. It's a shame the male menopause doesnt take us to such wonderful dimensions, but I suppose we would then be twice as far removed...
tomcatwarne: I think your theory is delightful, and you of course. It's a shame the male menopause doesnt take us to such wonderful dimensions, but I suppose we would then be twice as far removed...
I'm not sure if you are complimenting, or making a subtle dig at me. If it's a compliment, then...
Aw shucks, thank you Alleycat.
If it's a dig, then...
Kaybee50: I'm not sure if you are complimenting, or making a subtle dig at me.
If it's a compliment, then...
Aw shucks, thank you Alleycat.
If it's a dig, then...
If it's a compliment, then...
Aw shucks, thank you Alleycat.
If it's a dig, then...
Oh my communications are mysterious too
nooooooooo I still love you, in bothdimensions 
If you can't share every thought with your partner, your relationship isn't as strong as you think. It's often not what you say, it's how you say it and when. If you are sharring thoughts with your close friends that you are not sharring with your partner there is something wrong with that relationship.
All that's needed is to learn how the woman your with, ticks. It takes time, understanding and a willingness to do so.
All that's needed is to learn how the woman your with, ticks. It takes time, understanding and a willingness to do so.
montecito: Well this is a landmark that I am in full agreement with you "this time"..
I think there are some secrets that should be kept such as ....yes you do look fat in those jeans..
My mother didn't teach me much but one thing she did say was to not tell a man everything. I don't lie so if a man asks me point blank about something I'll tell him the truth even though I knew it was going to cause a problem. I went this this many times with my husband and it always came back to bite me.
My daughter tells her husband every darn thing, even things that I told her in confidence. She said she does that "because he is my husband". What she told him didn't matter to him. It was meant to discredit me.
I think feelings should be shared and financial situations but there are times when what they (men or women) don't know won't hurt them.
I'm not saying it's right to be sneaky.....just weigh what the effect will be on the other person when you tell them...
I think there are some secrets that should be kept such as ....yes you do look fat in those jeans..
My mother didn't teach me much but one thing she did say was to not tell a man everything. I don't lie so if a man asks me point blank about something I'll tell him the truth even though I knew it was going to cause a problem. I went this this many times with my husband and it always came back to bite me.
My daughter tells her husband every darn thing, even things that I told her in confidence. She said she does that "because he is my husband". What she told him didn't matter to him. It was meant to discredit me.
I think feelings should be shared and financial situations but there are times when what they (men or women) don't know won't hurt them.
I'm not saying it's right to be sneaky.....just weigh what the effect will be on the other person when you tell them...
"". What she told him didn't matter to him. It was meant to discredit me."
Why do you say that? Why would she want to discredit you anyway?
almera03: If you can't share every thought with your partner, your relationship isn't as strong as you think. It's often not what you say, it's how you say it and when. If you are sharring thoughts with your close friends that you are not sharring with your partner there is something wrong with that relationship.
All that's needed is to learn how the woman your with, ticks. It takes time, understanding and a willingness to do so.
All that's needed is to learn how the woman your with, ticks. It takes time, understanding and a willingness to do so.
I find it hard to believe that you would want to listen to her babbling to you about everything she is thinking about.
I was under the impression that men get tired of hearing all that she did this and then I did that and then she did this.
She says to him: Mary is pregnant
He says to her: That's nice
She wants to tell him about it from the time of conception but he really doesn't care. Men get bored with women talk. Some lady is going to be thrilled when she learns that you want to hear about her day in detail.
My guy is very open with me about everything even down to how much money he has in his checking account.
I appreciate that he's open with me but sometimes he tends to share/volunteer way too much info about certain things.Especially if it things which are really none of my business.
I appreciate that he's open with me but sometimes he tends to share/volunteer way too much info about certain things.Especially if it things which are really none of my business.
mustbnutz: "". What she told him didn't matter to him. It was meant to discredit me."
Why do you say that? Why would she want to discredit you anyway?
Why do you say that? Why would she want to discredit you anyway?
Long story..
montecito: Well this is a landmark that I am in full agreement with you "this time"..
I think there are some secrets that should be kept such as ....yes you do look fat in those jeans..
My mother didn't teach me much but one thing she did say was to not tell a man everything. I don't lie so if a man asks me point blank about something I'll tell him the truth even though I knew it was going to cause a problem. I went this this many times with my husband and it always came back to bite me.
My daughter tells her husband every darn thing, even things that I told her in confidence. She said she does that "because he is my husband". What she told him didn't matter to him. It was meant to discredit me.
I think feelings should be shared and financial situations but there are times when what they (men or women) don't know won't hurt them.
I'm not saying it's right to be sneaky.....just weigh what the effect will be on the other person when you tell them...
I think there are some secrets that should be kept such as ....yes you do look fat in those jeans..
My mother didn't teach me much but one thing she did say was to not tell a man everything. I don't lie so if a man asks me point blank about something I'll tell him the truth even though I knew it was going to cause a problem. I went this this many times with my husband and it always came back to bite me.
My daughter tells her husband every darn thing, even things that I told her in confidence. She said she does that "because he is my husband". What she told him didn't matter to him. It was meant to discredit me.
I think feelings should be shared and financial situations but there are times when what they (men or women) don't know won't hurt them.
I'm not saying it's right to be sneaky.....just weigh what the effect will be on the other person when you tell them...
It's always a tricky situation when it comes to confidences. Unless specifically asked, I would not count any information as off-limits to my SO. And if someone specifically asked to exclude her, I'm not sure I would agree (though I can imagine an exception).
The thing with your daughter and her husband can cut in another direction - namely your SO sharing all your confidences with his or her best friend. That's pretty tricky also, because one's best friend is a person one naturally shares pretty much everything with as well.
My only thought is that if you feel your SO shouldn't share something with his or her best friend, you should make that clear. I do believe your SO's wishes in this regard should come first as a general rule.
Ambrose2007: It's always a tricky situation when it comes to confidences. Unless specifically asked, I would not count any information as off-limits to my SO. And if someone specifically asked to exclude her, I'm not sure I would agree (though I can imagine an exception).
The thing with your daughter and her husband can cut in another direction - namely your SO sharing all your confidences with his or her best friend. That's pretty tricky also, because one's best friend is a person one naturally shares pretty much everything with as well.
My only thought is that if you feel your SO shouldn't share something with his or her best friend, you should make that clear. I do believe your SO's wishes in this regard should come first as a general rule.
The thing with your daughter and her husband can cut in another direction - namely your SO sharing all your confidences with his or her best friend. That's pretty tricky also, because one's best friend is a person one naturally shares pretty much everything with as well.
My only thought is that if you feel your SO shouldn't share something with his or her best friend, you should make that clear. I do believe your SO's wishes in this regard should come first as a general rule.
There's a thing about secrets. Once you tell someone, it's no longer a secret..
I've learned that the only person I can trust is myself and I'm fine with that..
montecito: I find it hard to believe that you would want to listen to her babbling to you about everything she is thinking about.
I was under the impression that men get tired of hearing all that she did this and then I did that and then she did this.
She says to him: Mary is pregnant
He says to her: That's nice
She wants to tell him about it from the time of conception but he really doesn't care. Men get bored with women talk. Some lady is going to be thrilled when she learns that you want to hear about her day in detail.
From my experience what they want, is for you to just listen, not pass comment, not make an opinion but to allow her to share her thought, her day, with you. I was under the impression that men get tired of hearing all that she did this and then I did that and then she did this.
She says to him: Mary is pregnant
He says to her: That's nice
She wants to tell him about it from the time of conception but he really doesn't care. Men get bored with women talk. Some lady is going to be thrilled when she learns that you want to hear about her day in detail.
I thought it was a way of showing you cared
montecito: If I ask a question where I expect the absolute truth I prepare myself that I may not like the answer. Why ask the question if you don't want the truth.
I still feel that it's not always a good idea to tell your S/O what's on your mind especially if you can resolve the problem yourself.
You're right, they want the truth, but what they really want is what they want to hear....not the truth. It's the same thing on here. When you give your honest opinion, you get slammed so then you think, why did I bother.
Much better to stay single J. Too much drama, too many games, too tired to deal with it..
I still feel that it's not always a good idea to tell your S/O what's on your mind especially if you can resolve the problem yourself.
You're right, they want the truth, but what they really want is what they want to hear....not the truth. It's the same thing on here. When you give your honest opinion, you get slammed so then you think, why did I bother.
Much better to stay single J. Too much drama, too many games, too tired to deal with it..
Right - I think sometimes it's a very good idea to attempt to work stuff out on your own, to avoid bugging your SO about everything...especially things which really stem from your own issues rather than anything she's doing.
If you ask for the Zeus's honest truth, of course you have no one to blame but yourself if you don't like answer (even if you really, really want a particular answer). And I tried not to hold it against my SOs. Part of me certainly respected them for telling me an unpleasant truth. Even while I was crying in my beer, it still led me to trust them more because they were willing to level with me. That meant to me that I could count on their honesty - and that when they said things I did like they were also being honest.
Too much drama? Perhaps we should allow CC, our drama-less relationship guru, to prescribe drama-free people to us?
The sad truth is that drama in our relationships is co-created. If you're experiencing that, you are part of its cause, even if you want to believe it's the "other guy," it ain't.
When I hear someone say "I'm not into drama," I always want to retort: "Then don't help create it." To paraphrase POGO: "We have met the Drama Queen/King, and He/She is us."
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On that note, and final victory .... ... I'm off to bed.
Thanks for the fun folks ...... Nichty nicht ....
Nite R....here, take him with you.----->