The Aura of Female Mystery as it Relates to Communication ( Archived) (202)

Mentally sound people So what the hell are you doing on CS then

// post edit....

A lady that I much admired in my youth & had an air of mystery about her was: Authoress, Agatha Christie! I read most of her books & was captivated by her.

Learning.....learning alot

Women are better at getting a "feel" for something, their subconscious is more attuned to picking up subtle details than a Man's is - on average. This gives them greater intuition.

They've studied this effect in tests and from just a picture of someone's eyes, a Woman can tell the emotional state of the person in the picture with far greater accuracy than a Man, meaning they have subtler perceptions than we do. So a Man needs words to perceive things around him where a Woman may not. This would seem mysterious, but it's just biology.

Women and men are different!!!!
Men can have a fight and 10 min later it doesn't even fase them.
A woman can have a fight and month later it comes up in the next fight!
Communication / honesty
why is it that when we start dating , we ( men and woman ) use their best manners, flirting, behaviour to lour or capture our mate! then when we get comfortable we let down our guard and the true personality comes out. Then of course the whole relationship changes and the nagging and fighting starts.
men want to change the woman, the woman wants to change the man.
What happened to the time " what really attracted you to your mate?" What has changed????
Abviously it is the communication!!! the " truth " - and not the mind reading or game playing or whatever the falseness of attraction was in the first place.

be true and honest at the beginning! If you go out for supper and it is a restaurant that you really don't like " say it!" don't pretend !
If you go to a movie and it is a chick flick - tell her you don't like those types of movies!

Be honest at the beginning and not waste 5- 6 years being someone your not. this goes for men and woman!

Communications is everything, honest and truth
this will get you thru everything in life!!! and makes one hell of a great relationship


that is my two cents to this subject

finally,something that makes sense..

I have used body language when interviewing for a job by not leaning back in a chair but instead sat on the edge and leaned forward. This opens the opportunity for discussion. Folding arms across the front of your body is a sign that you are closed off to the other person. Hence, my profile pic. It wasn't intentional to do that in the pic but I do think it was subliminal.


How Does Body Language Work? General OverviewBody language is a type of nonverbal communication that can be very subtle or highly blatant. In its more subtle form, body language consists of small muscle twitches, pupil dilations and pheromones; however, the more obvious body language signals include posture, arm and leg movements and facial expressions. Nonverbal cues often convey a person's attitude or mood before the person has even spoken a word. Many people believe that the study of body language is an important way of understanding others, especially when the verbal message is not clear.

How It WorksBody language is a very complicated and misleading science. There has not been adequate research to fully explain the phenomenon of nonverbal communication. There are, however, several factors that are generally viewed by most researchers to be true and correct. Overt body language consists of specific body posturing and facial expressions. For example, if a person has a big smile on her face, it generally communicates that she is feeling happy, friendly or just enjoying herself. Similarly, tears, a look of boredom or scowl indicating anger are associated with the corresponding emotions, even if the person does not communicate those feelings verbally. Posturing relates to how a person is standing or sitting. A person who is standing up straight and has a good posture is communicating to others that he is confident, whereas someone with a slouchy posture is often a shy person who is trying to not be noticed. Body language is also used to communicate attraction toward another person. Subtle cues such as a dilation of the pupils, eyes opening wider, and torso and feet pointed toward the person of interest indicate attraction. On the other hand, turning one's back, turning away and crossing one's arms across the chest are signs of closed body language and signal dislike or disinterest. Body language also works to show emphasis. In this case, body language cues work together with the spoken language. Nodding of the head, shaking of a finger, or outstretched arms enhance a statement or story. For example, if a person is telling an exciting story, she may stretch out her arms or thrust her body forward at key moments in the tale.

WarningsThough body language cues are often accurate in communicating how another person is feeling or what he is thinking, they can also be misleading. Sometimes a person may be smiling or laughing on the outside, but on the inside he is trying to hide sadness or pain. Some people are also able to cry on cue even if nothing upsetting has happened. In these instances, body language can be misinterpreted by onlookers and misappropriated by the communicator. Thus, the whole idea of body language and nonverbal communication should not be considered an exact science or method of interpreting the actions of others

Read more: How Does Body Language Work? | eHow.com

I am so grateful that I taught my daughters to speak their mind and say what they mean. I am no more a mind-reader than I am a Barbie doll and expect that when I am in a relationship that both of us will have open communication with no guessing games as to what the other thinks and feels.

If I don't feel like talking, then at the least, I will be courteous and say I don't feel like talking. If I'm angry, upset, whatever, I will say so. Guessing games and an "aura of mystery" are irritating and juvenile in my opinion.

Here is my theory{everyone has one}

I think that a lot of women are raised to expect men to be the aggresor in life{most people would probably not dispute this}and this of course becomes a safer position allowing men to take the lead{I do think this may be changing though}and thereby men can be thrust in the lead to take the bulk of rejection.It is actually the "fear" of rejection that is more dreaded.So if a lot of women want men to read their mind is it any wonder....they are conditioned to take a safer approach because of the fear of rejection{if something is not verbalized then it becomes rather murky and unclear,hence the feeling that men have of them to be expected to read their womans mind}.....
Thats my theory and I`m sticking to it...

Definition of dating

Going out long enough with someone and BS them long enough, that they fall for you so when "you" do show your colours, they are already to deep to just want to get out, so to speak" - - - - I call it double faced BS of man - woman initial contact - - - - Cos sooner or later one comes out in it's true colours - - - So I prefer to be my self, and even if it cost's me a perspective partner, the one that will like me, will at least like me for me and not some imagination picture I will present to her . . . . .

It also helps them to twist and turn the words so it suites them - - - in a given situation releasing them of taking the responsibility, and blaming it on the man, when things don't work out as they want them to - - - -

I was raised that men take the lead as to what happens. The two most important men in my life were my husband and my father and I was afraid of both of them. My father ruled the roost and showed me with a belt who was boss and I learned not to question him. My husband didn't beat me but it was the same situation that I wasn't allowed to have an opinion or even speak up.

My "safer approach" was out of necessity to survive both men. Men of that era didn't care what was on a woman's mind whereas I think men of today do care. They just don't know how to go about it without the woman doing a song and dance..

Thanks, Happy.

I am expecting that lots - perhaps most women - would say that they're perfectly straightforward in their communications and don't indulge in any form of "mystery" or associated vagueness in their comments, and no doubt even if it's true that in general women tend to communicate in more emotive and less precise ways that there'd be loads of exceptions.

Let me give a pretty clear example of what I'm thinking of. I think back on my grandparents, sitting quietly in a cabin by the lake. They're both silent. My grandfather, insofar as I can judge from conversations with him, spends little if any time wondering about his wife is thinking or what she wants from him. His silence (judging from many conversations with him) is about fishing or perhaps a hardware sale or maybe even (depending on what he's reading) some scientific quandary.

I know that my grandmother, however, spent a lot of time wondering what he was thinking and why he did something (while she is sitting there silently - again, I know this from many conversations with her), and that she often felt frustration that my grandfather wouldn't elucidate some of his thoughts or plans or feelings about her.

So here you have two people sitting there silently, but quiet often the nature of their thoughts are quite starkly different.

Does this scenario jibe with anyone else's observations re male and female communication?

J, not everything needs to be analyzed in depth. You've heard that "less is more".. I don't think it's that complicated once you accept that men and women think differently and it seems that you know that. As I posted in two earlier posts, women are detail oriented, men are projected oriented. Women want to talk about the problem, men want to fix it. If he has to read her mind, he can't fix it.

You say you are looking for a "real difference". How much more real can it get. Women want men to read their minds. I would say that men also expect women to read their minds when we ask "What's wrong" and he says "Nothing".

I have encountered the "carrying something heavy now and waiting for you to jump in and help me" syndrome many, many times, C. And the scenario you've described seems familiar to me.

In my experience, women love to hint at stuff. When I want something, however, there's no freaking hints. I will spell it out pretty much exactly.

I have found that really, really frustrating, and I wonder what is the root cause for this difference in behavior and attitude.

So I prefer to be my self, and even if it cost's me a perspective partner, the one that will like me, will at least like me for me and not some imagination picture I will present to her . . . . . FULLY AGREE

thank-you

So a woman doesn't "spell things out" to a man because?

One might speculate, assuming this is true, that a woman might assume that a man can read her as well as she can read him.

I'm highly skeptical of your claims, by the way. Certainly our species wouldn't be alive if men weren't extremely attuned to their environment - a necessity when hunting and being hunted, I would think.

But perhaps women developed a greater sensitivity to men's emotions for basic survival reasons?

I've considered the possibility that women may prefer more ambiguous statements because of self-protective motivations.

Perhaps a very ambiguous statement offers "wiggle room" or a way out, if interpreted in a negative way by a man.

My guy and I are blunt people and have no problems communticating what it is that we want or mean.We don't play headgames we just come out and say or ask it.Simple.