Is it wrong to not want to have children? (141)
M1ck1eWestfield, Massachusetts USA2 Threads 1 Polls 663 PostsThat damb biological clock 
....too many rug rats in the world......
M1ck1e: That damb biological clock
Yeah,us men are always in such a rush
damshoppin: I was totaly against having children until I was 36. I went to bed feeling exactly the same and woke up feeling the complete opposite. I just changed overnight.
So did you have children after your epithany?
I always wanted children, and adore being a mother, I also wanted to achieve things career wise. I had my children young and never employed a childminder, yet I continued to study and I'm now achieving what I dreamed of in terms of work.
My children are well adjusted adults now with good careers so I think I've been very lucky. Lost a husband on the way though.
KNenagh: I do like children but I always swore to myself that I am not going to be a single mother. That includes being in a relationship with someone who doesn't give a damn about his kids and doesn't want to change his lifestyle to be part of a FAMILY. Unfortunately, that is what I see looking at the majority of my female friends and it was also the idea of my ex. One of the main reasons why he is an ex.
Is not always that way KNenagh
In fact,I see many good fathers around my place who would do anything for their children and they do adjust to family life.
I can see why it must be difficult.
Freedomofspeech9: I don't think I ever want to have children and part of this reasoning is because I would not want to bring them up in today's society!
How about you lot what are your views?
How about you lot what are your views?
There is nothing wrong not wanting to have children, for different reasons: economics, time, commitment, genetics perhaps, etc……..but to think of not having a baby because of today’s society is a fool statement.
Home should be the most important influence for a child.
well maybe it's more of a female thing. Sometimes for some males also.
Tormented: Yeah,us men are always in such a rush
well maybe it's more of a female thing. Sometimes for some males also.
M1ck1e: well maybe it's more of a female thing. Sometimes for some males also.
morning m1,how many kids should we have,a dozen?
anto_d1975: no there's 7 billion people on the planet, I wouldn't worry about it. just on the point of todays society, what do you think is wrong with it? I mean a lot of things are better than they where 50 or a 100 yrs ago.
There rae too many people and this will lead to trouble lter, maybr only selected couples should be allowed children, or as the restrict families , I dunno
Tormented: Is not always that way KNenagh
In fact,I see many good fathers around my place who would do anything for their children and they do adjust to family life.
I can see why it must be difficult.
In fact,I see many good fathers around my place who would do anything for their children and they do adjust to family life.
I can see why it must be difficult.
Hi Tormented, my brother is a great father and I do feel sorry for some of my friends children. It is one thing to be nasty to your partner (not that I think this is ok), but it is a different matter to treat your kids bad.
I do know good fathers looking around my family and friends at home. Seeing the opposite in a good few cases here did make me aware of the differences and there are some things I wouldn't put myself, let alone a child through.
Thankfully, I agree with you there, not everyone is the same and I do think sitting down together as a couple and making a conscious decision as a family is a good way of going about it.
Freedomofspeech9: I don't think I ever want to have children and part of this reasoning is because I would not want to bring them up in today's society!
How about you lot what are your views?
How about you lot what are your views?
Having kids = lifetime commitment
It should be "with the right person" with strong mentality
if you think you & your partner are never ready, forget it. No playing game !!!
Freedomofspeech9: I don't think I ever want to have children and part of this reasoning is because I would not want to bring them up in today's society!
How about you lot what are your views?
How about you lot what are your views?
I think it is acceptable to make the choice either way, however I think that instead of deciding this world is so grim as to not bring new life into it that to raise a child with the Love and the good tools that a parent can truly do to have a very positive effect on the world that we live in. I also believe that you can be a parent without going through the process of having your child by blood. Many people are needed to parent the lost children that are here already. Depending on my future I will adapt and be satisfied as I will give it my all.
-Dragos
I think practising is more fun. 
It is not wrong not to want children, but it is unnatural for a man and a woman.
M1ck1e: a dozen at my age, are you nuts?
including previous one .. 
Yes I did. I have 2 daughters..
mikemo68: Nothing wrong whatsoever.
I´m a child-free.
My partner and I decided not having children for the simple reason we can't afford it, and I´m not talking about the economic issue .We are busy with our own lifes and we wouldn´t have any time to spend with them.
I think having children is a serious responsability and not everyone is ready for it.
I´m a child-free.
My partner and I decided not having children for the simple reason we can't afford it, and I´m not talking about the economic issue .We are busy with our own lifes and we wouldn´t have any time to spend with them.
I think having children is a serious responsability and not everyone is ready for it.
Great post mike and yes are right it is a great responsibility having children
Obstinance_Works: Spin, hamster, spin! That's self-serving rationalisation if I've ever laid eyes upon it. Let's just be glad that our ancestors didn't feel like this and did feel that it was right to have children, but then they were far superioir to what we are today... Don't people realise just how self-annihilating it is to answer no to this question.
Ob, That is freedom of choice and it's our own individual choice if we have children or not and because the world is overpopulated anyway it does not make a difference if we don't.
Obstinance_Works: Never trust a woman without a sense of humour and never trust a woman who doesn't like kids. Those are the rules. I'm particularly repulsed by the women who have voted no.
Why judge them just because they choose not to have children? Don't forget some can't have children and do they repulse you too?
I commend women who speak their minds and are brave enough to admit they don't want children or never wanted children, because the truth is not everybody does.
Cyn_Real: Having kids = lifetime commitmentIt should be "with the right person" with strong mentality if you think you & your partner are never ready, forget it. No playing game !!!
Cyn, Thank you a Very strong post from you and yes I agree totally, but in my situation it does not apply, because my girlfriend is far too old to have anymore children and I'm very happy with her, so I won't be shopping around anytime soon for a young lady to bare my children
Dragos1: I think it is acceptable to make the choice either way, however I think that instead of deciding this world is so grim as to not bring new life into it that to raise a child with the Love and the good tools that a parent can truly do to have a very positive effect on the world that we live in. I also believe that you can be a parent without going through the process of having your child by blood. Many people are needed to parent the lost children that are here already. Depending on my future I will adapt and be satisfied as I will give it my all.
-Dragos
-Dragos
Dragos, Thank you for your post it is very informative and yes many children are waiting to be adopted by a loving family, but obvious the parents must be willing to do all the hard work involved in bringing up a child and they will spend the rest of their lives helping that child even in adulthood, so it is a enormous commitment.
Best of luck wish your adoption
I vote no it is not wrong to not want to children
check_mate: I vote no it is not wrong to not want to children
to have
Freedomofspeech9: Dragos, Thank you for your post it is very informative and yes many children are waiting to be adopted by a loving family, but obvious the parents must be willing to do all the hard work involved in bringing up a child and they will spend the rest of their lives helping that child even in adulthood, so it is a enormous commitment.
Best of luck wish your adoption
Best of luck wish your adoption
I meant to say I wish you the best of luck with your adoption
Freedomofspeech9: I don't think I ever want to have children and part of this reasoning is because I would not want to bring them up in today's society!
How about you lot what are your views?
How about you lot what are your views?
Wow I feel reassure after reading the results of the vote and I thank each and everyone of you for participating
Freedomofspeech9: Cyn, Thank you a Very strong post from you and yes I agree totally, but in my situation it does not apply, because my girlfriend is far too old to have anymore children and I'm very happy with her, so I won't be shopping around anytime soon for a young lady to bare my children
Honestly, having kids with wrong person is a big mess for us (women). Personality will always come into equation. LOL
Only with the right person. Period
Cyn_Real: Honestly, having kids with wrong person is a big mess for us (women). Personality will always come into equation. LOLOnly with the right person. Period
It's no different for men, having kids with the wrong person could mean ending up living a life of poverty, paying child support, and having to "negotiate" with your ex to see your own children, when she sees fit.
I've met a lot of women that wanted kids, but not necessarily a man, but had no objection to dragging them through court for money to pay for the kids. As well, some that planned just that, having kids so a man could support her, because of the kids, and with no intention of having the man "their" lives. Also, several that are vindictive, totally selfish, hateful and spiteful, and will use the children as a weapon.
After 35 years or so of watching "family dynamics", there's no way in the world that anyone can say it's rougher for the women than it is for the men. Even after meeting and talking to several so called "dead beat dad's", it's usually just over money, and not being able to afford the costs of it all, and slowly sinking in to a pit of despair, and some have even committed suicide because of it.
What most seemingly fail to realise is, the children are the ones that pay the ultimate price for what their parents decide to do. I intentionally avoided all of it, having a girlfriend, having kids, knowing full well what the odds are here in Canada, and what my future could could hold, if I had kids with the wrong woman.
It was my decision, and I do often feel cheated to an extent, seeing as I think I would have been a good father, and several people that know me have also mentioned that. Thing is though, it's a bad idea for a man to have a child with just anyone.
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