Is it wrong to not want to have children? (141)

kidatheart: It's no different for men, having kids with the wrong person could mean ending up living a life of poverty, paying child support, and having to "negotiate" with your ex to see your own children, when she sees fit.

I've met a lot of women that wanted kids, but not necessarily a man, but had no objection to dragging them through court for money to pay for the kids. As well, some that planned just that, having kids so a man could support her, because of the kids, and with no intention of having the man "their" lives. Also, several that are vindictive, totally selfish, hateful and spiteful, and will use the children as a weapon.

After 35 years or so of watching "family dynamics", there's no way in the world that anyone can say it's rougher for the women than it is for the men. Even after meeting and talking to several so called "dead beat dad's", it's usually just over money, and not being able to afford the costs of it all, and slowly sinking in to a pit of despair, and some have even committed suicide because of it.

What most seemingly fail to realise is, the children are the ones that pay the ultimate price for what their parents decide to do. I intentionally avoided all of it, having a girlfriend, having kids, knowing full well what the odds are here in Canada, and what my future could could hold, if I had kids with the wrong woman.

It was my decision, and I do often feel cheated to an extent, seeing as I think I would have been a good father, and several people that know me have also mentioned that. Thing is though, it's a bad idea for a man to have a child with just anyone.

kidatheart: It's no different for men, having kids with the wrong person could mean ending up living a life of poverty, paying child support, and having to "negotiate" with your ex to see your own children, when she sees fit.

I've met a lot of women that wanted kids, but not necessarily a man, but had no objection to dragging them through court for money to pay for the kids. As well, some that planned just that, having kids so a man could support her, because of the kids, and with no intention of having the man "their" lives. Also, several that are vindictive, totally selfish, hateful and spiteful, and will use the children as a weapon.

After 35 years or so of watching "family dynamics", there's no way in the world that anyone can say it's rougher for the women than it is for the men. Even after meeting and talking to several so called "dead beat dad's", it's usually just over money, and not being able to afford the costs of it all, and slowly sinking in to a pit of despair, and some have even committed suicide because of it.

What most seemingly fail to realise is, the children are the ones that pay the ultimate price for what their parents decide to do. I intentionally avoided all of it, having a girlfriend, having kids, knowing full well what the odds are here in Canada, and what my future could could hold, if I had kids with the wrong woman.

It was my decision, and I do often feel cheated to an extent, seeing as I think I would have been a good father, and several people that know me have also mentioned that. Thing is though, it's a bad idea for a man to have a child with just anyone.

Freedomofspeech9: Dragos, Thank you for your post it is very informative and yes many children are waiting to be adopted by a loving family, but obvious the parents must be willing to do all the hard work involved in bringing up a child and they will spend the rest of their lives helping that child even in adulthood, so it is a enormous commitment.

Best of luck wish your adoption

kidatheart: It's no different for men, having kids with the wrong person could mean ending up living a life of poverty, paying child support, and having to "negotiate" with your ex to see your own children, when she sees fit.

I've met a lot of women that wanted kids, but not necessarily a man, but had no objection to dragging them through court for money to pay for the kids. As well, some that planned just that, having kids so a man could support her, because of the kids, and with no intention of having the man "their" lives. Also, several that are vindictive, totally selfish, hateful and spiteful, and will use the children as a weapon.

After 35 years or so of watching "family dynamics", there's no way in the world that anyone can say it's rougher for the women than it is for the men. Even after meeting and talking to several so called "dead beat dad's", it's usually just over money, and not being able to afford the costs of it all, and slowly sinking in to a pit of despair, and some have even committed suicide because of it.

What most seemingly fail to realise is, the children are the ones that pay the ultimate price for what their parents decide to do. I intentionally avoided all of it, having a girlfriend, having kids, knowing full well what the odds are here in Canada, and what my future could could hold, if I had kids with the wrong woman.

It was my decision, and I do often feel cheated to an extent, seeing as I think I would have been a good father, and several people that know me have also mentioned that. Thing is though, it's a bad idea for a man to have a child with just anyone.