On the 1st Date, who should pay? (171)

ha yea!

Oh dear!

I'll keep that in mind.....

but for me it depends on who did the asking....and usually when I'm prepared to pay the guy will step up and insist on paying and of course being the woman I am, I will not hurt the male ego by not letting him do his thing......

Red haired ladies should never pay on the first date. Be proud as well as beautiful.

lets compromise ....


and run away before the bill comes ....

No! No! No!

One of you just has a cup of coffee.

The other has a three course meal.

The person who has had the three course meal gets up and leaves.

The person left behind just pays for the coffee and says he only just met the other person and didn't know they had left!

Repeat the same procedure, vice versa, at the next restaurant.

Great fun on a first date!

Dutch definately, then there are no IOU and if you happened to not like your date... its easy to walk away

In Sweden it’s a norm that a woman pays for her dinner. I have no problem with it save for that sharing the bill makes me see him as a comrade or some kind of colleague... In short, I lose interest in him as a man...

I'd never do that.... even as a kid; as an intellectual exercise it would be kinda fun, but I couldn't do it for real.

I once took a lady for a meal many years ago and made a point of thanking the manager when we left.

My date and I got in my car.

I turned to her and said:

'How did I pay? Was it by cash or by cheque or by credit card?'

'You didn't pay!' she said

'Why didn't you say anything?' I asked her.

'I thought you didn't pay on purpose!' she said.

I went back to the restaurant a few days later and paid. They were so pleased with my honesty they gave me a free drink. They knew they were down in cash on the night, but had no idea who the culprit was..............

Needless to say I didn't date that particular lady ever again; I don't like people who condone theft or think I am a conman. I am neither.

Think that there are many options for a first date that don't require one to spend a lot of money to enjoy getting to know another person. Think its a matter of economics as well and being being realistic.

If you cannot afford a fancy dinner, then do something more simple wherein it doesn't cost much and still can be fun. I think sometimes people try too hard to impress and then they get resentful because they are "footing the bill" - if you have this attitude then perhaps its time to change the activity (ie. dinner) and simply go for a walk and grab a cup of coffee.

Dating can be expensive or it can be accomplished on a budget and truly if you are feeling the pinch and especially in these economic times then you also need to be realistic as one still needs to eat for the rest of the month. Why blow $100 bucks on one meal when that can give you many meals at home. A simple dinner at home can still be romantic and easily planned for a second or third date if you are comfortable.

I've heard stories from dates wherein the women they have contacted expect and/or arrange expensive restaurants or activities and then expect the male to pay. That to me is extremely rude and inconsiderate. The majority of males are usually higher wage earners than females, so I think its a matter of give/take between the two people to decide mutually how they want to take care of the bill.

Only if can fly here in time!

Sure. I can see where you're coming from....... you're playing hard to get!

I dont mind to share 50/50

Very Astute there my friend...

I haven't been 'got' yet

I have a cunning plan!

He can pay later, right? (for the rest of his life! )

i'll pay for her coffee if she puts out.....


....if not i ask for reimbursement for my expenses (gas, food/drinks and the waste of my valuable time)....