It's amazing how long this thread has been going on and only discussing how you are percieved by others. I've popped in a few times over the past couple of days, but have not read the whole thread because it is just so boring...to me anyway, because it is so meaningless to me because I'm new and don't really know any of you or what is going on here.
As a new person posting on these forums, my thoughts are that it does feel that there are a lot of people who know each other well and have developed relationships over time. There are people who seem to be closer to each other than others--it's just like any place where people socialize regularly, like a neighborhood, office, school, whatever. Some people don't get along and it seems when a conflict arises out of that, others come to defend them. There is some childishness like name calling and insults which probably makes a lot of people uncomfortable, it does me. A new person coming into this can feel like any new person coming into the same kind of situation in the real world. Think about it, visualize it if you moved to a new town or started a new job and everyone there already knew each other and there was a set social 'scene' in place--
Some people are very independent and don't look for any particular acceptance or to fit in. Lots, perhaps most, people will say that's what they're like--but I'm skeptical about that--people like to say they are totally self contained but behavior belies belief in that assertion.
In any case, trying to put it simply: it can certainly appear to outsiders that there are established social groups here, that they may clash with each other, and that if one isn't accepted, one may be ignored or unaccepted. It all sounds rather childish, but adult behavior is never so nearly mature as we like to think it is--think about how people behave in love/romantic relationships. Just the fact that you all go over and over the accusation of cliqueishness for pages and pages and in the process continue bickering with each other....well....
If I have offended anyone, well....then you are all just too sensitive for me.
Yes, it is something that has always been and always will be. However, in the past, it was slower, now, with easy travel, it is speeding up and sometimes happens so fast, some places (the West, essentially) feel they are being invaded. If people only would think about what it was like for other countries to be invaded by imperialists and colonialists, maybe they'd have a better understanding.
But I wouldn't care if someone posted a thread asking who is the greatest male singer or writer or painter or comedian....this is what I don't understand--I don't, truly, don't understand why it is a problem. I'm not trying to pick a fight with you.
Not selective in the sense you suggest. I don't have any interest in the type of threads Gilly posts in general, so I rarely even look at them. I didn't notice this one. Still, at the same time, why get so pushed out of shape about it? I just don't see it as a big deal (his thread, or these type of questions).
Ha, ha--it's kinda funny. I've had only two face to face meeting with guys I met on-line. To my relief, they recognized me right away, and I them. How stupid to post and send photos that don't look like you--unless you never plan to meet!
How are things going at your job? My experience, and most peoples' I think, is that most work places and job situations contain some 'politics'--people not getting along, maniuplations, bullying even, machinations behind peoples' backs, etc. At my current job, it is worse than anything I've ever seen. During the last staff meeting I sat there the whole time with knots in my stomach and just wanting to escape, there was so much arguing, confrontation, and contention--between managment and non-management. This has been building up for some months, with non-management not getting anywhere and to the point I think it's just time to give up and go along with things. Just for peace.
Here's a 'forum' for you to air your frustrations, if you have them, about the politics and other contentious stuff going on at work, if it is. Or, conversely, tell about how nice it is where you are.
One thing I'm pretty sure about is that people on these forums often don't use the restraint they would if they were dealing with someone face to face, especially if it were in front of others. It would help if we all just took a quick moment, before posting, to ask ourselves, "is this something I would say if I were face to face with this person?" or "is this how I would say it? I'll bet either we would choose to use more respective terminology or decide to keep our mouths closed.
To be fair--I think one is one thing and one is another. I have discussed political issues with those whose are diametrically opposed to mine (i.e.: Republicans )--and there are those who can be reasonable and not use insults and name calling. Got to consider it as ideas and opinions, not personal attacks.
I think they just don't understand how to debate, how to discuss something without mudslinging, how to listen, how to treat others' opinions with respect, etc......
Yes, definitely. I think some people get upset when people are discussing different opinions, debating on an intellectual level, because they think it is arguing. What's important for real debate is not to take anything personally. After all, it is only ideas.
RE: Wow is this place a clique?
It's amazing how long this thread has been going on and only discussing how you are percieved by others. I've popped in a few times over the past couple of days, but have not read the whole thread because it is just so boring...to me anyway, because it is so meaningless to me because I'm new and don't really know any of you or what is going on here.As a new person posting on these forums, my thoughts are that it does feel that there are a lot of people who know each other well and have developed relationships over time. There are people who seem to be closer to each other than others--it's just like any place where people socialize regularly, like a neighborhood, office, school, whatever. Some people don't get along and it seems when a conflict arises out of that, others come to defend them. There is some childishness like name calling and insults which probably makes a lot of people uncomfortable, it does me. A new person coming into this can feel like any new person coming into the same kind of situation in the real world. Think about it, visualize it if you moved to a new town or started a new job and everyone there already knew each other and there was a set social 'scene' in place--
Some people are very independent and don't look for any particular acceptance or to fit in. Lots, perhaps most, people will say that's what they're like--but I'm skeptical about that--people like to say they are totally self contained but behavior belies belief in that assertion.
In any case, trying to put it simply: it can certainly appear to outsiders that there are established social groups here, that they may clash with each other, and that if one isn't accepted, one may be ignored or unaccepted. It all sounds rather childish, but adult behavior is never so nearly mature as we like to think it is--think about how people behave in love/romantic relationships. Just the fact that you all go over and over the accusation of cliqueishness for pages and pages and in the process continue bickering with each other....well....
If I have offended anyone, well....then you are all just too sensitive for me.