symbolistartist Forum Posts (761)

Artist desperately seeking EU men with intellect and heart!

Ah look it up Gilly! It's easier.
Banal=everyday plain etc
Primordial=fundamental, basic, the first to come into existance

No I just started to read up on various subjects, especially reincarnation and the energy system of the body (what people call chakras in line with the Indian denotation). I didn't exactly enter the spirit world, I just realized it existed. Prior to this I figured (i.e had an intuition) God is pantheist which means that it's a divine force penetrating all existing things. Afterwards I realized this was close but not exact; God IS all things in existance. Well that's what I realized anyway. So if there were spirits then there would have to be some kind of current going on the spiritual level. This lead me to the above topics. I didn't call myself anything but in the late 90s people did start to use the word spiritualist. Before that you were just New Age or whatever. I guess I'm mostly a Universalist as I'm not an adept of any religion.

Double Dating

He means that double dating is not alright. Thanks!

RE: IF YOU COULD LIVE YOUR LIFE ALL OVER AGAIN WOULD YOU CHOOSE TO COME BACK AS THE SAME PERSON IS SO Y

Sounds cool, can't wait to meet this person!
However that film sounds like an impossible feat... sounds like the road to disaster. Oh well... hope it works out anyway... let us hear about it later.

Double Dating

This may seem like endless rants but actually it's not closure yet it seems so that's why I'm still pondering...

Double Dating

I get the drift, I actually think this way a lot, along Jung's ideas of shadow projection, though it hadn't occurred to me in this case. The second part though I'm not so familiar with, I'm a bit innocent when it comes to mindgames but I see what you mean. Don't think that was the case here but good to keep in mind, thanks.

Yeah, I do move on, been down this lane now so many times (the vaccination I was talking about) I'm better at handling it. In 99 when the 1st catastrophe occurred I cried for 6 months and developed chronic insomnia. Though that was a real life incident of course. You just never really know how you'll react. Talking here seems to help though, I feel less like a victim though continuing the search is always very arduous. I'd be more optimistic if I could move to another country first or something, but now it's not possible. Oh well, anyway.

Double Dating

Hm so a mock trip in other words? I have trouble lying myself, haha. Dunno, might just plan in something this summer, but then again I have no where to go and not much money. That is, I have no money now but will most likely have some a little later this month. But otherwise, yeah, pretty clear to me that's pretty much how to proceed in that case. I guess what I feel right now is do I wish to wait that long for a possible rejection that would probably feel even worse than now... Dunno. I think this guy has some figuring out to do actually. Best wait to see if he is willing to be more articulate, if not I think I'll be more than willing to drop him in any case.

RE: cultural difference

Because it's surrounded by oceans, not too far from my parents and "home" even if I hate it here, and the culture is not SO different from ours. Plus I speak the language and that's really important to me; am excessively expressive verbally.

Double Dating

It's the emptiness we fear the most I think. My heart is alright, I doubt I can fall in love over the net. It's more a matter of changing gears... always hard to do isn't it. But you guys ARE helping. TRULY. Filling up some emptiness and giving me food for thought. Thanks.

Double Dating

Here's a quizz for you if you like: he showed me his appointment to the passport office. Now why would he do that? He's a smart guy, surely he doesn't think the fact that he was going to get it for my sake helps any at all?

Hm, I don't really have anything to lose so asking why I was ditched is hardly a problem. I can see your point but on the other hand it could make him reconsider. Though I've said that I don't take anyone back who's ditched me that bluntly. Yeah so no needy here, good reminder though as it could suddenly appear that I am... must keep it in mind. But I can be quite strong even if I'm losing something potentially precious. I have experience of that I guess. Letting go.

Yeah I could certainly go there but I saw his gesture of wanting to come here first quite gallant and not like the other dude I wasted a year on. But no matter what I think it's up to him. I was preparing for him to come, it feels odd to just drop all that. Sigh.

RE: IF YOU COULD LIVE YOUR LIFE ALL OVER AGAIN WOULD YOU CHOOSE TO COME BACK AS THE SAME PERSON IS SO Y

Now THAT is a deep philosphical question.... I have no idea. Alas not being psychic.

Double Dating

Who? Venere?
Your post I did answer indirectly, it was imbedded in other stuff I think. Thanks for being here!

RE: cultural difference

Exactly. Even 3 months in the States taught me a thing or two...

RE: cultural difference

Don't worry I'm sure YOU are sincere, but not all are... it's very hard to read a person from another culture though it can be interesting too. I'm just no longer in a position to take the risks involved in something very different (agegap, unequal culture, religion). But I'm not closed off to the idea of encountering someone really smart from somewhere else, even though I'd be nicest from a practical standpoint if he was from Britain.

Double Dating

Nah, actually I think he's being honest now that he wasn't seeing that woman while he was talking to me and that he somehow figured he couldn't do "real" double dating (i.e. coming over) but should just keep me as a friend... Well typical hosebrain thinking if you ask me but he does owe me a real explanation.

Double Dating

Gilly I DIDN'T fall in love with him yet. But there was a hell of a lot of qualities in him that seemed very diserable to me.

Double Dating

Yeah well... He just wrote me and admitted that he acted and wrote in a hurtful and insensitive way plus also realizes it was naive to believe that he could still have me there at the side somewhere. I dunno .

Double Dating

Actually someone might just copy all this and persuade me to believe that they are like this...

RE: cultural difference

OH NO. Maybe you don't get it that much because of skin colour but I get plenty enough and IMO these are just totally immature young dudes who have no realistic view of the world whatsoever. They certainly wouldn't like to learn the language, no, I don't think they have any idea how hard it is to get a job without knowing it. But they are young... so they try. I'm glad I'm not in their shoes.

Double Dating

This is good, but when you receive a letter without any explanations whatsoever you ARE often overcome with emotions. He just left me there... no avenue to discuss it or anything. Actually a man before him at least did take responsibility for his actions and I agreed to talk to him. It didn't lead anywhere but I respect him more for leaving that option. The letter I got yesterday was really insensitive and inconsiderate of how I might react, he even said that he expects me to blast at him but when I did he didn't like it - however it wasn't until today that I got a reply. So to me that's just pretending to be Mr Nice but not being real. Anyway, I could go on but it's tedious so let's just say that there are times and there are times... a season and reason hopefully too.

Double Dating

Correction there at the end, "an understanding MOM" not man!!!!

Double Dating

Ven, I too would love that cuppa!!!! I did make myself some green with no milk or sugar, it helps.

Guiri, when I took up online dating I was well aware of the perils and appalled at the way I was treated by SO many. Unfortunately ego rules most of the time, that's for sure. I thought this guy was somewhat past that but promising several times to see me is to raise hopes in a person and to bluntly cut it short without any reasonable explanations is just really lame and shallow. And like you say " leading one to believe there is something special between you" - those are the two things that make this kind of contact into dating IMO, and in any case it DOES something to you. How astounded one can be at times when you think you're super vigilant and discerning and still get fooled. Now I think I've processed all this (thanks to an understanding man and you guys here on CS) so I'll somehow start getting on with my life again.

Double Dating

This is what I mean; if someone plays games with me it's a no. I thought in the beginning that I could be friends with this particular man no matter what, but turns out that the way he treated me was not okay from where I stand. So it's goodbye. Too bad, now I must move on...

Double Dating

Yeah I get you. I do think a lot about people, especially women. I tolerate things up to a certain point. When interaction is too scanty and it's too wishywashy I give up. With men, they usually do some really a**hole thing that I totally cannot accept from my moral standards. So what's the point in trying to be friends, that would be like giving in and saying oh I love you anyway and more or less wait and see if it works out for him with the other woman or not. No thank you! I have my dignity. But I see the value in your point and it can proably work just fine in some cases.

RE: DOES ANYBODY WISH THEY COULD TRAVEL BACK IN TIME WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF YOU HAD A TIME TRAVEL MACHINE

Thanks

Double Dating

Perfect, Ven. Yes that would be the right thing to do. You just don't play around with other people's feelings (since you don't know what they are unless you ask) and you certainly don't make assumptions about their point of view.

Gotta add that everything pointed to this guy actually respecting me and my viewpoints, so it was a REAL cold shower to find out that he didn't.

RE: IF YOU COULD LIVE YOUR LIFE ALL OVER AGAIN WOULD YOU CHOOSE TO COME BACK AS THE SAME PERSON IS SO Y

If I had to come back I don't think my life would be as challenging as this one has been because I believe I would have a choice and this one should give me food for thought for life times to come.Even if that thought was subconscious. I believe that many of my intuitions are subconscious memories of things I've learned before. Again, I hope I won't have to come back.

RE: IF YOU COULD LIVE YOUR LIFE ALL OVER AGAIN WOULD YOU CHOOSE TO COME BACK AS THE SAME PERSON IS SO Y

Well how can I say it without revealing too much. I don't want to come back and I hope there is another home for me somewhere else. What I've learned on Earth would be utilized there.

Artist desperately seeking EU men with intellect and heart!

Thanks Gilly... It's actually a bit banal. I was practicing oujaboards and realized it was all true; there is a spirit world. I got very interested in primordial myths that explain the foundations of reality in symbolic terms as well as doing research about reincarnation. These two things became the pillar stones in building my worldview/beliefsystem. I also suddenly started to make symbolic drawings, have no idea where that came from. It led me to keep a dream diary for a while and activate my understanding of symbolic language. I worked with my own private issues a lot and integrated it all with my new worldview. I was totally into all that. The rest is history...

Double Dating

Thanks :-). May be that the situation wasn't quite as bad as I thought yesterday yet he should still have been more informative and explicit in my opinion.

Double Dating

No I do agree that there is no perfection and I'm not looking for that, only compatibility enough regarding issues that matter. On the other hand I admit that I'm severe; if someone hurts me with an air of superiority without even telling me why (and now I'm speaking of someone I've talked to intensely for a while of course) then I don't know if I could value him for his friendship. I think one problem was that I thought he had been lying all alone, while apparently he hasn't. So that makes me feeling a little better but I've already blasted at him so what is there to salvage. I also have negative experiences with male friends online, has never worked out.