symbolistartist Forum Posts (761)

RE: NEW RELATIONSHIPS

Hi Ghost.

As you know I met my man from here, it was very obvious to many that we were going to meet. We never announced that we were a couple and have never announced it. It is just sort of know that we are.
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I did not know you met your man here Sommer. Nice to hear!

Well when I decided to go to the US to "try it out" I wasn't "sure" only hopeful. And as far as I'm concerned that's not enough... Though he was sure enough and even when I had to leave he was still intent on marrying me. I did put a ring on my finger before leaving because I was impressionable to his persuasion. That's certainly a mistake and would take a long account to make it sound as if it made sense at the time. Sometimes it's not just a case of feeling love within ourselves, it's also a question of hope. Especially when you've waited for 20 years for something extraordinary to happen...

Getting my stuff back after trusting a man online!

Thank you for the sweet words!

RE: NEW RELATIONSHIPS

Yeah it's hard to tell how it works with people, maybe you can recognize a soul mate online? However... I just shared an experience of mine on the inter rants, about getting stuff back from someone I went to live with across the pond, so that might shed some light on this issue.

RE: Giving out your personal phone number

Hm from the photo it seems you have a date already! However, you simply get someone to download it for you, an elderly neighbour of mine is now chatting away with her sister on a daily basis... it's cool.

Getting my stuff back after trusting a man online!

Well he's joking but yeah there are things that are sensitive to light... I really look forward to see some really nice and decent guys from now on! No more misery traps and no more free maid services to chauvinist pigs!

Getting my stuff back after trusting a man online!

Damn I meant fortunately I'm not that unrealistic, lol...

Getting my stuff back after trusting a man online!

Thanks for your input! No unfortunately I'm not that unrealistic... I do know these things happen but thought that coming out with this story would also help people to be extra careful. I know sometimes it's just impossible... but knowledge is power! We learn...

Getting my stuff back after trusting a man online!

Oh and thanks for the consolation and wishes too, romantic4u! Wishing you the same! I am romantic too and don't want to lose that, yet I harbour my experiences

Getting my stuff back after trusting a man online!

From one artist to another; it does suck when things like that happen. I have given artwork to all of my boyfriends, but they turned out short term and I lived to regret it! Oh well... I hope you have photos of them though??? That kind of helps...

Getting my stuff back after trusting a man online!

Oh CRAP. You know I CAN relate, because we went through hell to get the younger son from my ex's wife who was sick in every possible way. I thank my luck that I don't have kids with anyone... it easily goes wrong in a world like ours. I will be wishing you a happy solution!

Getting my stuff back after trusting a man online!

I met his kids, 16 and 21, and did contact both of them. But they were also in the midst of all sorts of weird dramas throughout this past year, really it was like a tornado had passed through there. They didn't seem to eager to help because they were suffering from the lack of money too... but I'd try and write the older one again if I had to.

Getting my stuff back after trusting a man online!

Good point, yes I didn't really believe it would help either but had no one to ask...

Getting my stuff back after trusting a man online!

Yeah and here I was saying the worst part was my stuff being so FAR away! Only goes to show life is a gamble... Sorry you got trapped like that, argh.

Getting my stuff back after trusting a man online!

Yes well this really angers me, because for one you're stuck with a joint custody and possible complications with that (I've witnessed that through my ex) and as you say your son is suffering too.

Getting my stuff back after trusting a man online!

Thanks my friends! Yes... well I have attracted some weird situations in my life but nothing worse than the torment of not being able to move on because you get stuck with the material things and don't know if they will all come or not! But let's see... I'll keep you posted but if all goes well it will be over by the time I celebrate my birthday! Anyway, now I know... and all of you, too.

Getting my stuff back after trusting a man online!

Oh and thanks also for offering some concrete help! I have been trying to find guys who'd go there to Kansas and get the stuff for me but to no avail... it's a bloody huge country at that!

Getting my stuff back after trusting a man online!

One more thing... let's not give up our dreams and a CERTAIN amount of idealism about love... there are happy stories out there... even if they didn't last forever. Don't say NO unless you're really certain that physical reality is a REAL hindrance. JMO!

Getting my stuff back after trusting a man online!

To Geminiman and all others who have suffered from things like this; I'm truly sorry it happens! And yes, it has indeed crossed my mind that some people want to hold onto material possessions as a way of keeping you in their life. It's sick, but it exists... I don't know if it was the case here because he did have enormous expenses all the time but you do wonder...

Getting my stuff back after trusting a man online!

MISTAKE! I meant the THINGS THAT HAPPENED TO HIM, NOT TO ME!!

Getting my stuff back after trusting a man online!

Ok some more text if you can bear with me...

Thanks to those who realized that I was taking a rather normal chance in life, it only happened to be in a place that has caused a lot of grievance. I had NO idea sending packages from the US would be so complicated, for instance. Turns out they have to be freaking small! And naturally I was thinking DAMN if only this was within Europe, I'd be there in a heartbeat and pick my own things up at once! But alas... I had to wait, and wait... one package dropping in here... another one dropping in there... it was like Chinese torture!!!

I had to pay this guy's rent once, last fall I managed to get the money back from him but some of it is now going back because he didn't take responsibility for his wish to have me come over and marry him. Oh well... in the end I haven't lost a fortune, bad enough for someone not rich as me yet it's not the end of the world. It was an experience, I learned good things too. In the end all bad things can be useful.

I didn't bring THAT much stuff over but I bought a few things while I was there and brought some cherished items in order to feel more at home, now THAT was my mistake!!! I now have most of those back (inherited things) but a few still remain. It would seem silly to give up right now.

Anyway, guys, moving across the pond is NOT A GOOD IDEA. People have done it and succeeded, especially if they had a work visa... from what I hear most don't. I had never realized how complicated even just sending things back and forth could be. Let alone all the bureacracy and the stress of having to decide within three months if you want to marry someone or not! It's freaking crazy. I will never do that again. BUT I will still be willing to relocate withing Europe... it just seems so incredibly small after THIS experience!!!

Getting my stuff back after trusting a man online!

Hey all! Thanks for your thoughtful replies! There are now so many that I won't be able to address each of them, which is really what I'd prefer. So I will have to write a summary to cover most of the points that were brought up.

This morning I sure was nervous about this last attempt to get my last bits back. Now I don't know if it's better to say that I went into this blinded by love or not, lol, truth is he was the one more in love than I and he managed to persuade me. I thought to give it a chance as he talked to me on Skype very diligently, twice a day even. I enjoyed the talks. I could tell he was no crook. But... this guy is a magnet for catastrophies. The things that have happened to me (and I suppose most of it is true) and the things that have been going on since I've known him are unbelievable! So hearing all this and trying to assess whether they were true (I saw his kids on cam too and they seemed okay, which was a positive indicator) I decided to go for the compassion.

So with the economy going down in the US and him losing his jobs and various health issues, I thought the false promises might have been chalked down to that. And to be honest, though he turned out to be quite a selfish person in many ways (having lived pretty much alone with his kids and a strange wife at the other end of their house) I still don't think he means to take my money. I know most people think so including my mother. But it seems that his money situation and the health issues are really pretty bad. I already sent him some dollars AFTER he had posted a couple of my packages. Money that wasn't even from my own pocket. Now as I was lucky to have a little extra I decided that in order not to have to wait for another year to get the stuff I'll just take the risk. This once.

Ok so I did expect him to TELL me the freaking money had arrived! Thank goodness I finally got a short mail today stating that it did arrive, however the bank demands that he has put in an equal amount of money first before they agree to exchange it, and that they took 10 % when this was finally done. He said he'd been busy but was eager to get the things on their way...

Now I was bloody relieved to hear something along these lines, though the whole bank issue sounds weird. However, I've come to see a lot of things that go on in America as normal... how can I tell?? And I have also seen him go through so many weird things that no one would believe unless they had been there... so... I still don't think he's a crook, just a walking field of disasters...

Next will follow the lessons learnt...

Getting my stuff back after trusting a man online!

Thanks kizzy! Hm, well it doesn't quite work that way over here... plus it's actually a case of just a few precious items, the rest can be replaced. Possibly contacting the police over there. Yeah I hope others will learn from this though it's embarrassing to admit to having done it, lol...

RE: Giving out your personal phone number

Well that sounds ok! But let us know of any developments in the matter, yes? Gotta go too, have a nice day everyboyd, the weather is splendid.

RE: Giving out your personal phone number

Good grief! Well please feel free to vent on this site though, if you come to the EU one people usually listen to your story. What the heck possesses these guys to be like that???? With someone they never even met... I think that mine truly did envisage something special with me, but he was young and immature anyway.

RE: Have u ever blame your wife/Husband for your thriftless life ?

Oh but we were not married. Hey you should have included long term relationships! So us in Scandinavia can participate

RE: Have u ever blame your wife/Husband for your thriftless life ?

Oh, it says "wasteful". Hm... well it was a learning experience and there were good times that I would like to have back... guess that counts as not wasteful lol

RE: Have u ever blame your wife/Husband for your thriftless life ?

What's thriftless...? Need to look it up...

RE: Giving out your personal phone number

Yeah, I know how it must feel, it's really freaky sometimes even if you know they can't get to you (which I pretty much assumed). Hm, well maybe going to Dubai is already a clue, lol!

Getting my stuff back after trusting a man online!

He's usually pretty diligent about replying unless he's upset with me or has something to hide... I certainly will write often.

Getting my stuff back after trusting a man online!

OH AND PLEASE NOTE, ANY INTERESTING EXPERIENCES DOWN THESE LINES ARE WELCOME!