symbolistartist Forum Posts (761)

RE: What defines us in a relationship?

I like Central Europe a lot, the only minus is the distance to the sea! I suppose since the Baltic is making a slow death these days I'd prefer to be close to a real ocean... I'm living on the Finnish riviera but it's really super cold here and last summer we had only one week of weather that allowed for shorts and thin tops!

RE: What defines us in a relationship?

Hm, that sounds really cool IMHO! Yes I love thunderstorms. I went to Iceland once in August and the light and the rapid change of weather was so invigorating and made for great photos, some of which can be seen online. It was raining cats and dogs during the last days which wasn't so cool when you had to live in a tent but if you have a lovely house there's nothing as comforting as hearing the rain while having a fire in a fireplace going... And deciduous trees that make that sweet sound you don't get from the firtrees around here. So why are you in Italy now? Work?

RE: Why...

of course, they must be terribly interested in MOI

RE: Why...

Yes, it's interesting, especially considering how to navigate on the social arena without hurting other people unnecessarily yet protecting one's own needs and integrity. If your profile does STATE that you are only for the forums then the situation certainly is a bit different... I would also be more "callous" if that was the case. As it is I'm still looking, so that automatically makes me just like so many others a lot more vulnerable. I find that most people are more insecure than one would think, it's a funny world eh? Thanks for talking dear and see you later, I must dash now!

RE: Why...

have they really? Hm, many did get stuck making babies or whispering into a man's ear like Einstein's wife, yet maybe all together we could make a WONDERFUL world... imagine male and female brilliance put together for real... sure it's been done but to a really great extent! Mmmmm... what a world we'd have!!

RE: Why...

I'm totally with you on this here. Yes the "don't take it personally" is one of those a**hole clichés that I hate so much... But one thing seems clear, though we have emotions some just are more vulnerable than others for various reasons, my reasons are a combination of personality, experience and low stress tolerance. Seems I might be more sensitive than you. But there we are, diversity is beautiful and deserves respect. And in any case, if I was not me but somebody even more shy and sensitive I simply wouldn't be here... Gotta beat the odds!

RE: Why...

Hehe the trick is to know when I mean to be ironic, sardonic or funny and when I'm being serious... I'm sure everyone is dying to learn the distinction!

RE: Why...

Ah, now I see where you're coming from. No, I don't usually take it personally. I think you're reading in too much into the way I use the word rejection. What I meant was that it's always a bit of a slap in the face even if it's totally obvious that the guy wasn't suitable and vice versa. Of course, sometimes some feelings have arisen for whatever reason (not always because you wanted them, they just triggered something in you), and it's harder to get over. They are just emotions. We can have them and detach, or we can deny. I don't deny since that would make me callous. Not who I want to be. So I just allow for my sensitivity but it still hurts. Am I making sense?

RE: Local news from your country - Part III

sssh quiet honey the neighbours might wake up and come and ask what we're doing so close together and whether we need pain relief...

RE: Why...

...and I also like to give people a chance but as stated earlier I'm probably just being foolish and maybe that's the disfavour I'm doing to myself...

RE: Why...

Plus I'm interested in human behaviour, I know it can seem suicidal at times but I'm fascinated...

RE: Why...

...'cause surely we all have to reject and be rejected...? Just a matter of learning not to lie down and die but get on with life?

RE: Why...

Ah thanks!!
Ah believe it or not (and here I'm talking to myself as well) I am learning... not easy for a worrier like me but am doing my best. You're right.

This I'm not sure that I get. I get the general idea but more explicitly...? Can't think of a good example. "That you are seeing them as a reflection of YOUR personality, that it is your behaviour that drives them to act in this way and doing yourself an injustice." ???

RE: Why...

If anything what you do learn on a site like this is that worrying about each and everyone's behaviour truly is a waste of time and energy. Can't remove my sensitivity but can always practice equanimity...

RE: Why...

Ok I get you. Well I'm being too nice but I feel sorry for those who make an effort and get no response... like the author of this post. Still it's true that it does get tiring. So need to revise that one. I'm not very good at being rude, I certainly consider other people's feelings.

My behaviour? Anything wrong with it? Or you mean that I'm probably doing it in my own mind on my own? Don't think I've done too much of that here. In the beginning I was really overwhelmed that's for sure. What I said then was probably stuff heard over and over by others but it was new to me. On this site in the way things worked out here anyway.

Yeah we're all different, IMO the main thing is to respect that, not always easy though when all we have is gutfeeling. Glad you found someone though! So you're alright...

RE: Why...

CORRECTION READ FIRST:
I meant INFERTILE NOT FERTILE AND NO IT WAS NO FREUDIAN SLIP!

RE: Why...

Ok well seems we are all getting ourselves into trouble here and lowering our chances of finding a good match on this site... however I have to protest and say that knowledge is power so even producing a baby is knowledge that men will never know... albeit realizing it saddens some sensitive male souls out there here's a kiss for you

RE: Why...

Ah, I'm sure we'll all sort it out in the end, peacefully (ok well sorry to say this but the warmongerers WERE usually a certain species on this beautiful planet), no worries, it will be alright in the end!

RE: Why...

SEE???? This is all some men can utter, over and over... do you live in a zoo? Just curious...

RE: Why...

Which we all know is 4 times per second

RE: Why...

LOL okay I'm pulling your leg since we all know that women are taking over the world very soon and men have trouble producing children because of all the crap that they have introduced into our daily living... Don't know how it will all end but do know who's responsible!!

Yet when I do see some intelligent male life I am just overjoyed... truly overjoyed... maybe there's hope still?

RE: Why...

LOL thank you for enjoying my analyses... yes I'm that way, it's certainly not for everyone to enjoy
However I don't quite grasp what you're saying in the above quote.

The evasiveness is something I find in lots of people everywhere. Here online they just ignore me. I got angry at first, then got more or less used to it but decided not to initiate much. Mens bluntness "ignore then block" seemed unfair since on asking around on another forum on another site most women thought it polite to say no thanks etc. However, on saying a clear no to guys here in the beginning they got really mad and so it wasn't worth the trouble. Now isn't there plenty to think about??

RE: Why...

By the way Guiri it was actually a compliment, not a sarcasm!

RE: Why...

Hm, actually I think that at this day and time a man should see it as a HUGE compliment!!!!

RE: Why...

But what I don't get is how you know which ones to shrug off?

RE: Why...

Ok sorry my sloppiness but I read your text a bit wrong. So your on E-kontakt or some such place? That's anyway a really dumb place since you really have to pay in order to get some action going... no way around it... I'm on it since Sweden is close enough for me. I get a zillion "flirts" but I have a feeling most guys don't pay either. Better go for a site where at least one person pays and the other gets the free ride ! Oh well, apart from what I said earlier, just try and be active and dont' get upset when women reject you...

RE: Why...

But hun, your text is in Swedish! Hello by the way, I'm Finnish-Swedish I'm sure many of your visitors were non-Swedish speaking. On this site I get mails from all over the world, it's pretty amazing since usually I get ignored on dating sites simply because I live in a remote corner of the globe were no one would care to look.

However... I wonder if maybe you too could use a better picture? See I'm a photographer... Looking down on a camera is usually not too flattering. Show your eyes and smile more! Might help? And also, why not write your profile in two languages? That is, if you don't mind dating someone in English (or some other language of your choice). And... this bit I'm sad about but seems that in Sweden men expect women to initiate, but in the rest of the world men like to be the hunters...

It was no rant dear. Welcome!

Compassion group

... not that I'm sure if I should read this as groping, group or groupie...???

RE: Why...

Yes I've always been very shy and sensitive, it takes guts for me to appear on forums but I am very stubborn when it comes to getting over anything that is in the way. I admit I've been very confused about the mixed signals I've gotten this winter, not only on here but in other contexts as well. Men just being jerks to say it plainly. Yet it hurts... I don't seem to be able to detach from that though I can see your point clearly. Maybe in time... we'll see. I think I'd be better off in a relationship with no need to look around because I have trouble with decision making and knowing how to respond to mails and flowers is stressful for me (this is part of a health issue). Nah, I don't put my sole hope on this site and I've certainly learned in life that men appear much different online than in reality - I've been doing this since the dawn of the first computer! Well I mean while we were still scribbling on pieces of pergament

Hm, I'm sincerely interested in your tactics. I have trouble ignoring men though I've learned that most men ignore me if they are not interested. I do have trouble saying no if I'm not 100% sure. Guess I've taken on board the idea that we should be openminded and not judge the package by its appearances straight ahead... but that doesn't really work, does it...?

This is not exactly what I was talking about earlier, I was really saying that ANYONE I approach seems to become evasive even though I'm by no means assertive or pushy or anything! I really don't think I'm doing anything wrong. But I do know that I intimidate some people, they can't figure me out. I try and take it easy and if I really want to get to know someone "desperately" (lol) I try and go by it very carefully... But still I'm hardly ever the one to initiate anything!

RE: Why...

Thanks hun! I have found all of you women here just fabulous myself!

Yeah it's a strange phenomenon, can't get my head around it. When I contact people they simply ignore me. It seems it has to come from them or it's doomed. Maybe I'm scary in some subtle but deadly way? And bad at realizing who might be scared away? Funny 'cause I figured I'm a good judge of character. But then first impressions don't always apply on the internet, do they? Not so well anyway... As for rejection, I had so much of it this winter I should be immune by now... seems one of the few things you just never get over - fear of rejection I mean. Still I try and put my silly head in places at high risk just to prove that I can... and despite anxiety I persevere until someone realizes that I have something to say...