Katiko Forum Posts (196)

Final cut

;) thank's for the smile you gave me.

Final cut

So my ex and I talked about divorcing for some time already. Yet, it was always in the future and now it's now. I don't even know hoe i feel about it: sad, relieved, happy?

So this is it. I don't want to talk to any judge about our private stuff, don't want anyone messing in. We managed to agree about most of the things so far. Yet, there is my kid and the judge probably is going to ask how do we want to share the responsibility, etc. The division of retirement founds and bla, bla, bla…

Anyone divorced in Germany and can give me an idea how does it work here?
We are from two different countries from EU living almost 3 years in Germany so the international and German law applies as far as I know.

And how I should feel about it? I feel like dancing one moment and crying the other.

RE: Immigration & Marriage

Do Americans need visa to come to UK or other way?
I do not think so.
So you can get married in any countries and apply for a residency/marriage visa, etc after getting married.

Getting married in US is very easy, depending on State, can take up to 3 days of work. You come to the city hall, show your ID or pass and say you want to get married. You fill out a questionnaire and in they check if you were not married in any other state in US. That's what they need 3 working days in MA.
Having an American fiancee I would do that. I know people who at age of 30 were already 3 times married. After 3 days if there is no marriage record you can get married.

RE: what book are you reading now?

"Ayudarse a si misnmo. Una psicoterapia mediante la razon", Lucien Auger.

Found it on my ex-father-in-law bookcase. Since I can not get over a chapter for few weeks now I guess I am a lost case.
But I like the principle idea presented so far.

RE: Hunger : from a LOCAL point of view.

Hi,
that's actually a very big problem.
I worked in US for Early Head Start and we were helping people to get very cheap food (like from churches, or 1$ bag, or…
Had clients who called me that they have no food for the week.

But also here in EU there is a lot of hidden poverty. And I am not talking about homeless people. I am talking about kids who sometimes have their own warm meal at school. If they have.
I still remember the kids who knocked to my door asking for money. I did not have any cash but I just baked something. They looked so happy eating. They took all other stuff the stuff like rice, oil, wheat, … I offered them. I told them to come another day and they never did (or maybe we did not coincide?) and few months later I moved out from this town.
3 Kids, all first years of primary school.

How many kids like that are there? Those who are too ashamed or too scared to ask?

RE: I´ve lost a lot of weight

Did she do all the cooking or what?
Don't worry sometimes being single is being better that in not-working relation.
Take time, make some salad, play some music and go fishing ;)

RE: having high expectations + being strong woman

So true. Yet, most of women who seem strong are usually very fragile at the same time. They just don't make it so visible.

I do seem very strong to most of guys, especially after they learn my story or see that I can install the kitchen myself (but it is much more fun in 2 and it does not end up in tendons inflammation I have right now… ). I simply deny to be miserable because my dream of happy family did not come true and so on… it makes the guys think I am strong.
But I do am fragile and easy to hurt the same way other people are. I may not talk about that or cry immediately (ok, sometimes I do) cos I try to reason.


But the true is that guys are scared of women who seem to be strong or have they goals. It's that they are worried there is no place or need of them.

RE: To please your man

Hope you made a great salad. No burning necessary.
:)

Btw, there are a lot of other way to please a man. But the "trough stomach" always work. Just invite hime for cooking together :)

RE: The HUG.

God, I miss it so much!!!
In Germany no-one does it.
No, it's not a weakness. For me it's an necessary part of a man.

Why, the lemon, you live so far???
:)

RE: Why do you?...

I don't think dating is necessary for establishing a sound relation, but it can be helpful.
I would date for having nice time and getting to know each other in neutral background, assuming we both start slowly.

The next time I get married...

So, one friend of mine just told me that his sister got married 3 months ago and he had no idea about it. They live close to each other and I had the feeling they were on rather good therms.
I think, I would be sad if my sister did that. However I would be more relaxed about my brother - he was always the single wolf…

So… it made me think about my wedding. It was very small. I married in US and in one hand it was nice because the ceremony was small. In other - my family wasn't there :(
Now, I think that next time - if there would be the next time - I want all my family to be invited :).
Yes, may happen they won't be able to attend but I want them to feel that there is a place for them in such important events. So, no wedding in Australia or US, sorry guys ;) It must be somewhere my family can get without huge hassle and taking loans for travel, so probably EU. Or I win the lottery and can pay them nice vacation in some exotic places.

You - did you have family over? If you were to marry agin - what would you do different?

RE: Donate

No organization.They disappear on the way.
Direct to those in need.

RE: The Invention Of Lying

O! I know perfectly a lot of white lies I tell, since I used to be terribly straight forward kid in nature. So my "white lies" are acquired with time: learning social skills.
:) still, I am mostly aware of telling them. Most of them I find being innocent: making people feel good.
The ones which would make me feel bad because of being lies, I try to avoid.

RE: how many cs members are single moms?

The guy I got with was a great guy, especially the time we got together. We took together the decision of having a child. Now we have 18mo boy. However, the sequence of "bad luck" and some situations brought us apart instead of brining closer.
It's good to know when it doesn't work and stop before you start to hate each other.
Sometimes separating is the wisest thing you can do for the happiness of all of involved.
I am "single mother" because my child lives with me and the father of my child not. However, my child has both parents. The father is present in my son live and I do hope it stays this way.
I am not looking here for a father figure for my son. But, of course, the right guy would need to accept my son and treat him as part of the family.

RE: don't give your email

Sorry you have a bad experience.
I gave my mail to few people and non of them was a scammer.

But, being careful regarding who you want to give it is very important.
Use your own judgement.

RE: Anyone learning another language to be somewhere or with someone?

Well, it works. But only till some level.
For the grammar it's better to go to school :)

RE: Anyone learning another language to be somewhere or with someone?

Well, from my own experience I can tell you that it's easier to learn language by dating or being with someone :)
It comes naturally to one part. More if you live in the country.

If you happen to be in Freiburg try "Sprachen Kollege" to help you with German. In Freiburg they have very good price for a very good training. For a coffee you can always get in touch with me - maybe I will still live here ;)

RE: Positions

No idea. Seems I need to get the book finally.
I'll put it on next Xmas wish-list ;)

RE: "Just Saying",,,My CS Experience has been!!!,,,& How about your's???

So far I am amazed :DDD
I met very nice/interesting/... people here.
Some from far far away, being simply friendly, without expecting anything back. People I hope to have coffee/lunch with one day.

Few willing to travel to meet :)
The few meetings I had were great experiences. And just for meeting the people I was writing with and getting to know them it was worth to get on CS.

Of course, not every email exchanged with someone means that's him and I am for him! It's true: some of the writing just die naturally. That's o'right. Still it is exciting to get to know some of people here and the stories behind them.


In general, if I would have my private jet and the World and myself would be perfectly ok with bigamy I would date most of them! ;)))



Could be other website would work as well. Could be not.

RE: immigrant go home !!

Well, we are living in globalization time.
Go back to your country lost the meaning.

My kid was born and so far is raised in Germany. Although he has double nationality he doesn't have the German one. Should he move back to my or his father country?
My friends are moving from country to country. We can start our live in most of the countries we wish for nowadays, yet we are way more homeless as the previous generation. Our new countries miss the old "home" feeling. Yet, we don't fit to our home-countries that well anymore.

RE: Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas to all of you :)

And the 2015 full of joy

almost perfect Xmas dinner?

the bread crumbs sound so american :)
but no-go for the gluten intolerant person.
Maybe I will make some for myself... :)))

almost perfect Xmas dinner?

So I planned to make the squash-potatoes dumplings, with fried sage, the guinea fowl covered in bacon and baked, few baked apples and the cranberry sauce for main course.

The glass bowl with the dough for dumplings broke into pieces today afternoon
the meat for cold cuts (breakfast) burned because someone placed the tv too close to the kitchen & there was this movie going on… (soo romantic, of course…)


The only thing which worked today was the experimental cheese cake I was not excited about… Seems the cranberry sauce I made goes perfect with (yes, of course I tried )

Now, the only question is what should I do for the Xmas dinner now?
I still have the guinea fowl in marinate, the bacon stripes, the 1/3 of baked squash, some raw carrots and rice or rice pasta. It must be gluten free.
Does carrot-squash risotto sound like a Xmas dinner to anyone?

(but please don't tell me to go shopping tomorrow. I am still not in suicidal mood…)

Anyway, what are you having for Xmas?

RE: Do arranged marriages work?

I am going to go for that myself, just decided.

I just need to find:
1 almost perfect Man (you know what I mean ;) )
based in EU
and not older than 49, cos I don't want my Mom to feel I married someone she would want to marry herself ;)

RE: The real cost of mistakes...

Talking about mistakes.
I am sometimes such an idiot that I cannot believe it myself.

I was once shopping in big supermarket in US (typical weekly shopping) so the parking lot is full. Big queue of cars waiting.
I pack my stuff to the trunk, get in to the car, throw it into reverse, indicate turning and press the gas. I make like 2,5m. Someone honks. I look in all mirrors no-one there within 2 meters, but a car waiting to take my spot (followed by others).
I think: "Wait a second, as..ll, I am making you space". I go another half meter further.
Another honk. I look again in all mirrors and rear window. Clean. I am thinking that some idiot is really in hurry. I go maybe half meter more and BANG, grrrrr….."
Well, there was this big stone, impossible to see from any mirror and windows of the SUV. Rear bumper lost the lack on a pretty big area.
The other driver was trying to warn me, and I call him names in my head! I got so pissed off with myself that day!!! Such an idiot I was!!!




Happy End:
The most bizarre thing was, that I decided that the damage is not that big so I did not repair the bumper, although I knew I was going to sell the car within a year due to moving to EU. Months later some guy lost control over his car, hit into a car parked on the sidewalk, and both of them went further hitting mine, which was parked in front. The only damage mine got was the bumper! (lack!!!)
The insurance of the driver paid me not only a brand new rental SUV but also a nice new bumper and some other inside stuff my mechanic found necessary to change for safety reasons. :)
A beautiful new bumper just before I sold the car :)))

She is not my mom - what's going on?

That's so true. They can use very cruel words or they can become aggressive when there are big under big emotions.
My kid (still not talking age) pulls my hair (1) when something is wrong (stomachache, pampers full, etc), (2) when we are having fun playing and hugging, or (3) simply to check my reaction. He even says "no-no" when he does it!!!.
They just don't control emotions and less the ways they express it.

She is not my mom - what's going on?

I'll take a look on that issue.

She is not my mom - what's going on?

I agree. It sounded disturbing so I mentioned it to the teacher. She said that the girl has a lot of wired behaviors. Like every day she is saying that she must to ballet classes, and that she goes to ballet classes every day although she never went to any.

You see, I am not so fast with social services because I collaborated with them in US.

So I am a little in distress. I didn't like the child behavior. It brings questions.
But my sister reminded me that when I was a child my mom left me for vacation with my family (grandpas, aunt, other cousins), when she came back I refused to call her mom for a while.

She is not my mom - what's going on?

A scene yesterday in Kita (Nursery/Preschool):
Another Mom comes in and smiles to a girl. The girl runs away and hides in the corner behind me. So I say, "hey! Your mum is here"
But she looks really scared as if she is going to start to cry. And she wisper.
"She is not my mom. I don't know who she is."
Well, I dont know any of them, so I ask: "Is she your nanny? an aunt?
"No, I've never seen her."
The teacher came, the Mom, but the girl continued for at few minutes like that.
It was really sad.

The woman was actually her mom. The girl 2 years old.
I thought about my kid who runs to me laughing and shaking his arms from joy.
Will he do that to me one day?

And what the hell goes in a child mind or in the family so the child reacts that way?
A 2 years old? Just an imagination?

WTF ???

Perhaps. Unless you look at this that he is catholic taliban himself.
As religious fanatics they would have some interesting subjects to discuss, I assume.
Given that weapon wouldn't be within a reach.