Exactly.. you want your SO to be your best friend, so the effort must be made for that to happen.
I think Junie and Malcolm have a codependency going on. If she really wants to have a relationship, she needs to make the effort with the new guy.
I've had a male best friend before - for years. We spent loads of time together and on the phone, but it never got in the way of my love life.
These days, I have a best friend of 28 years. I also have a man in my life. He has become my best friend. We communicate every day. Just because I don't keep in as close touch with my other best friend, doesn't mean that we aren't still there and supportive of one another.
Excellent advice, my friend. I'm sorry you had to go through this. Probably the worst ages of a persons life to deal with the tragedies that you had to go through.
You keep saying this, which makes you sound quite foolish. Those of us who know Ken, know that he wouldn't be asking someone on a date that he had not had time to get to know.
It should be both parties being responsible for birth control. However, people often get lazy about it and allow the other person to take care of it. Hence, babies.
I still think that Jesus was a man, a good man, yes, but I do think he existed. It still wouldn't change anything to me as I don't think of him as a god.
Sweetie, I don't see many people hear agreeing with you and your outrage, but I do. I've also just read this to Em, who is 13. Tam, we are both appalled and I agree with you 100%. I don't give a damn what the culture is, she's still just s little girl.
I think it's silly to think that Jesus couldn't have been married and a father to be the man that he was. In that day, it would have been abnormal for a rabbi not to be married.
I agree Cy. It's the parents fault. As a kid, I wore a back brace for 2 years, then a body cast for a year. I've never minded kids asking questions as long as they do so with respect. It's normal and natural for them to be curious. It's the parents that treat their kids as if it's scandalous for them to ask.
''Please don't torture yourself like this,'' she says, her eyes beginning to brim with tears. ''Maybe I should never have . .Oh God, I feel so.....''
(She breaks down, sobbing.)
''What?'' says Roger.
''I'm such a fool,'' Elaine sobs. ''I mean, I know there's no knight. I really know that. It's silly. There's no knight, and there's no horse.''
''There's no horse?'' says Roger.
''You think I'm a fool, don't you?'' Elaine says.
''No!'' says Roger, glad to finally know the correct answer.
''It's just that . . . It's that I . . . I need some time,'' Elaine says.
(There is a 15-second pause while Roger, thinking as fast as he can, tries to come up with a safe response. Finally he comes up with one that he thinks might work.)
''Yes,'' he says.
(Elaine, deeply moved, touches his hand.)
''Oh, Roger, do you really feel that way?'' she says.
''What way?'' says Roger.
''That way about time,'' says Elaine.
''Oh,'' says Roger. ''Yes.''
(Elaine turns to face him and gazes deeply into his eyes, causing him to become very nervous about what she might say next, especially if it involves a horse. At last she speaks.)
''Thank you, Roger,'' she says.
''Thank you,'' says Roger.
Then he takes her home, and she lies on her bed, a conflicted, tortured soul, and weeps until dawn, whereas when Roger gets back to his place, he opens a bag of Doritos, turns on the TV, and immediately becomes deeply involved in a rerun of a tennis match between two Czechoslovakians he never heard of.
A tiny voice in the far recesses of his mind tells him that something major was going on back there in the car. But he is pretty sure there is no way he would ever understand what, and so he figures it's better if he doesn't think about it.
The next day Elaine will call her closest friend, or perhaps two of them, and they will talk about this situation for six straight hours. In painstaking detail, they will analyze everything she said and everything he said, going over it time and time again, exploring every word, expression, and gesture for nuances of meaning, considering every possible ramification. They will continue to discuss this subject, off and on, for weeks, maybe months, never reaching any definite conclusions, but never getting bored with it either.
Meanwhile, Roger, while playing racquetball one day with a mutual friend of his and Elaine's, will pause just before serving, frown, and say:
After reading a few post here today, I think it's a good time to bring out Roger and Elaine again. Just as a reminder...
The Story of Roger and Elaine
By Dave Barry
Let's say a guy named Roger is attracted to a woman named Elaine. He asks her out to a movie; she accepts; they have a pretty good time. A few nights later he asks her out to dinner, and again they enjoy themselves.
They continue to see each other regularly, and after a while neither one of them is seeing anybody else.
And then, one evening when they're driving home, a thought occurs to Elaine, and, without really thinking, she says it aloud: ''Do you realize that, as of tonight, we've been seeing each other for exactly six months?''
And then there is silence in the car. To Elaine, it seems like a very loud silence. She thinks to herself: Geez, I wonder if it bothers him that I said that. Maybe he's been feeling confined by our relationship; maybe he thinks I'm trying to push him into some kind of obligation that he doesn't want, or isn't sure of.
And Roger is thinking: Gosh. Six months.
And Elaine is thinking: But, hey, I'm not so sure I want this kind of relationship, either. Sometimes I wish I had a little more space, so I'd have time to think about whether I really want us to keep going the way we are, moving steadily toward . . . I mean, where are we going? Are we just going to keep seeing each other at this level of intimacy? Are we heading toward marriage? Toward children? Toward a lifetime together? Am I ready for that level of commitment? Do I really even know this person?
And Roger is thinking: . . . so that means it was . . . let's see... February when we started going out, which was right after I had the car at the dealer's, which means . . . lemme check the odometer . . . Whoa! I am way overdue for an oil change here.
And Elaine is thinking: He's upset. I can see it on his face. Maybe I'm reading this completely wrong. Maybe he wants more from our relationship, more intimacy, more commitment; maybe he has sensed -- even before I sensed it -- that I was feeling some reservations. Yes, I bet that's it. That's why he's so reluctant to say anything about his own feelings. He's afraid of being rejected.
And Roger is thinking: And I'm gonna have them look at the transmission again. I don't care what those morons say, it's still not shifting right. And they better not try to blame it on the cold weather this time. What cold weather? It's 87 degrees out, and this thing is shifting like a goddamn garbage truck, and I paid those incompetent thieves $600.
And Elaine is thinking: He's angry. And I don't blame him. I'd be angry, too. God, I feel so guilty, putting him through this, but I can't help the way I feel. I'm just not sure.
And Roger is thinking: They'll probably say it's only a 90-day warranty. That's exactly what they're gonna say, the scumballs.
And Elaine is thinking: maybe I'm just too idealistic, waiting for a knight to come riding up on his white horse, when I'm sitting right next to a perfectly good person, a person I enjoy being with, a person I truly do care about, a person who seems to truly care about me. A person who is in pain because of my self-centered, schoolgirl romantic fantasy.
And Roger is thinking: Warranty? They want a warranty? I'll give them a goddamn warranty. I'll take their warranty and stick it right up their.... .
Rich, this is a wonderful post and obviously heartfelt. I agree with you to some extent. I've put myself out there and been hurt. Through those experiences and by actually listening to a special someone, I've learned that for me, it's better to go a bit slower.
dcj22 Forum Posts (11,581)
RE: Randomly Post The First Thing That Pops Into Your Head Thread
Makes me angry too, Petal.