I know what you mean, I´ve shut down the entire family on my dad´s side. All they do is drink, gossip and envy, there´s never any good coming from there... so I decided I DON´T have uncles and cousins or any relatives on that side - 2 or 3 exceptions made.
You talked about family. Yeah family´s something you cant get rid of, just deal with it. I´ve got one brother who´s completely unreliable and getting worse as he´s turning into an alcoholic. He lies through his teeth. I´ve tried talking to him but there´s nothing I can really do about it. Now non-family... grandma used to say everyone deserves a first chance, few people deserve a second chance, nobody deserves a third on. Metaphorically I think, cause "how many chances" depends a lot. But I think it´s fair to let the other person to know you´re upset and why, and that you´re giving them a CHANCE. They´re not obliged to guess, you´re the one who has to tale responsibility in setting the limits. After you´ve been hurt, there´no ombudsman if the "contract" wasn´t clear - you´ve got no right to complain.
I agree. But I also think a level or down-to-earth talking about feasibility is necessary. Otherwise I don´t know, I haven´t really tried, and I´m learning from you guys. Good to know it´s possible, and good to know the tricks in avoiding problems. Thank you all!
I I were your wallet... let´s see... I´d be in Moema´s purse, going shopping, full of your credit cards and checks... Ok it´s not funny, I know, just relax a bit so you can think better.
Lots of good answers here. Well, I feel if one is only saying something because they feel it is appropriate, or it meets their immediate needs in getting what they want, they should not say it. It is manipulative. I´m for saying what you mean even if it´s not that pleasant for the listener, and of course for the speaker too, after all we all want to be loved, not hated. And I like to joke and tease, but there´s a limit to sarcasm (I´ve mentioned it here before) - you should NEVER use it when you´re having a serious talk you want a good outcome of. If you´re serious, be serious. If you´re not, let people know. BUT FOLLOW THROUGH. Otherwise, it´s playing with other people´s feelings, a total lack of respect, and I take that as seriously as it is possible to take anything seriously. I can´t stand the "convenience" talk and the "I don´t remember" or "I didn´t say that, YOU understood that" attitude. It´s immature, irresponsible and it´s not ethical. But anyhow, there should always be room to talk about misunderstandings, and you should know how many "chances" you can afford to give, and the person should know it, so they will know exactly when they´re blowing it and why. At least I like to be told when I´m trespassing limits and I do try to watch myself.
I know, who isn´t? Pretty sad huh? This song hits home for me too, but I´m fighting it off. I don´t wanna live in fear. I don´t care how many times it´s gonna hurt, I´m still gonna try again.
You know, Ship, the thing you deny the most is often the you you most desire. You are so concerned to highlight your choice of singleness that I won´t be surprised if you suddenly tell us you´re getting married... just out of the blue...
Hi Helen, I´m Moema, nice meeting you! I´ve been here for a short time myself, the forum is fun, just don´t take anything here too seriously, there are some MEAN PEOPLE here. WELCOME!
You should choose someone who likes the same things you do. For instance, if you like football, she should like it when you watch football. That way she´ll bring you beer and fries. Edward, 10 (he´s got a point)
Nobody decides by themselves whom to marry. God chooses your spouse years in advacne. You´ve just got to understand. Jennifer, 10 (she´s got a point, too)
WHAT´S THE BEST AGE TO GET MARRIED?
The best age is 23, because you´ve known you´re husband for at least ten years. Camilla, 10 (very wise little girl)
There´s no good age to get married. You´ve gota be really stupid to get married. Fernando, 6 (probably divorced a couple times)
WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS HAVE IN COMMON?
Neither of them wants any more kids. Anna, 10 (wonder why?)
WHAT SHOULD ONE DO ON A FIRST DATE?
You should tell lots of lies so you can get a second date. Martin, 7 (no comments)
First dates are meant for people to get to know each other and have fun. Even the boys have interesting things to say, if you pay attention. Luciana, 9 (where did she get that from? mom?)
WHAT SHOULD YOU DO IF YOUR FIRST DATE GOES ALL WRONG?
If my first date went wrong, I´d go home, pretend I´m dead, then I´d call the papers and have them publish that I am dead. Carlos, 9 (he´s right, I´d do that too)
WHEN SHOULD YOU HAVE YOUR FIRST KISS?
When the man is rich. Pamela, 7 (blonde?)
When you kiss a girl, you have to marry her and have kidsd with her. That´s how life is. Henrique, 8 (yes little fella, that´s life)
IS BETTER TO MARRY OR STAY SINGLE?
For girls it´s better to be single, but the boys always need someone to do the cleaning. Anita, 7 (one of the best answers!!!)
AND LAST, BUT NOT LEAST... WHAT SHOULD YOU DO FOR YOUR MARRIAGE TO LAST?
You should tell your wife she´s beautiful, every day, even if she looks like a truck. Richard, 10 (and the Oscar goes to...)
If you´re into seafood, you might want to look up a recipe for MOQUECA. You can make it with fish, shrimp or whatever sea stuff you like. It´s easy, quick to prepare and very tasty!
Moema Forum Posts (730)
RE: where is the peak? how to dig in deep