Shedman01 Forum Posts (1,029)

RE: Age Difference...

As long as it is legal I would not care of the age at all if there was a solid feeling of connection. Though I am kind of biased on this as my parents had a 22 year age difference... But if the minds are of the same "age" what difference does the number of years they have been alive matter?

Personally I might find it a bit hard to view someone as an intimate companion that was the same age or younger then my 23 year old daughter... but who knows what is possible when a connection is felt strongly enough...


me

RE: Who 'needs' a partner?

This is my trouble, I volunteer way to much I have been told...LOL Still trying to find that balance...

RE: Who 'needs' a partner?

Thank you very much for taking the time to answer, very much appreciate it. I like that answer too, because it is exactly as I am when someone tells me their feelings and I don't have the same to offer in return.

RE: Who 'needs' a partner?

I have to say I am a VERY open book and it apparently is something many women are not very prepared for. LOL I just can't help it, if I am asked a question I answer it honestly, regardless. I also am not afraid to state when I feel something for someone, or for that matter when I wish I felt something for someone.

But I don't know if it is a general trait... I would like to think it is, just have no idea.

RE: Who 'needs' a partner?

EXACTLY!

RE: Who 'needs' a partner?

Just out of curiosity, would you do the same thing if someone revealed their feelings to you but you did not feel that way about them? As in would you simply cut off any and all communication with them out of embarrassment or whatever?

You of course don't have to answer, just thought I would ask because of something in my past...

RE: Who 'needs' a partner?

I should have read the thread before posting... LOL This pretty much says what I was trying to say.

RE: Who 'needs' a partner?

I suppose this would depend on the use of the term need...

Do I need a partner in order to survive? No.
Do I need a partner in order to feel like a whole person? No.

Do I need a partner in order to make my life what I want? Yes.
Can I have a fulfilling life without a partner? Yes.

To explain my Yes answers above, I will offer the following.

To me a fulfilling life is one in which there are no regrets, no remorse, nothing I would change, ever. This I can do as a single person. So even without a 'partner' I am able to do this. Not exactly what I would like to do, but I can.

As for the other yes above, to me there are people who were simply born to be single. Those who never long for someone to share their life with every morning they wake up, and every night when they go to bed...

I am NOT one of those people. I am one of the other kind, the kind that thrives on compared understanding of the world around us. The kind that needs to share life with another in order to experience the world twice every day. Once through my mind, and once through her her mind. It is a need I have to feel intimacy within my mind.

I also am easily able to say I need physical touch. I very much depend upon physical contact and I am a very touch oriented individual. Because of this there is a further depth to my needs of intimacy, and being next to someone while I sleep is simply energizing and grants me much better sleep then if there is no one there. It is one of the reasons I have always had at least one pet, usually more.

So for me to live the life that I find the most suitable, and desirable, I would have to answer the question asked, in at least as much as the above, with a resounding yes, I need an intimate companion.

RE: If you could travel in time...

Murasaki Shikibu

As for why...
(taken from her Biography here-> )



Simply would be fascinating to talk to I think. Not to mention her father and grandfather were both poets.


me

RE: Which is the absolutely essential food/ingredient in your kitchen?

RE: Which is the absolutely essential food/ingredient in your kitchen?

Essential for me is salt. My body is not capable of making its own sodium so I have to have salt to add to my food or strange things happen. (thanks mom )


As for other stuff... sheesh to many to list so will cover it by saying FOOD.



me

RE: What is the most wonderful day in your life so far?

Could not agree more. Because today allows me to remember countless hundreds of other days that were simply amazing and joyful! How could any day be better then the one that lets you do those things. Tomorrow I would answer the very same way as I did today even.

"Today is the sum of my life and all that it has given me, may tomorrow bring me the chance to remember what I have enjoyed, and create newly cherished memories for the days yet to come."

Just a thought I like to repeat to myself now and then.


me

RE: Can you sleep with a girl while dating another one?

Nope not even close. The act of being intimate is viewed by me as a marriage vow plain and simple. If I sleep with someone then I am with them until they let me go basically. This was even the case with an Internet romance. It just isn't in my nature to do something like that, hence my only having been physically intimate with 7 women in my life, and 1 mentally intimate with at a distance.

So I But I am probably a freak of nature too as some have considered me thus. LOL


me

RE: The 'Other Person'

I am sorry yours was like it was and has left you feeling as you do. The closest I had to that is a good friends cousin as I mentioned before. I was cheated on one other time but it was not with anyone I knew first hand so it was not as difficult as yours, and we continued to be together afterwards since I forgave her and myself for the whole ordeal and we had several more years of enjoyable time together.

Anyway, I wish you the very best in finding inner peace with it all and bringing an end to the haunting feelings it has left behind. I also very much hope you realize you are far from being "left over trash" You have way to much going for you to even consider those words as fitting you at all.

Take care,
me

RE: The 'Other Person'

Perhaps it is simply my blunt honesty or it has been my very good fortune to have been able to do so without worry or problems. I have never held thoughts of getting back together with any of them longer the a couple of weeks after things were said and done. Even then the thoughts were merely that and quickly left when reviewed logically.

As for them holding thoughts of getting back together with me, perhaps they did I can not speak for them in more then saying none ever said anything to me about it but I also make it quite clear when things are completed in ending a relationship that I won't be back. That rule was broken one time but it was 8 years later when we got back together and I figured it might be worth the try... I think it was as it lasted 15 years the second time around, and come to find out after getting back with her the oldest boy was in fact mine which is why she had left me in the first place. Long story... LOL

Anyway, I have never had trouble with it and many of my ex'es know about each other and communicate openly. The other thing that may make it more feasible for me is the distance with which they are spread out. MN, MT, CA, WA, Germany, etc so that may play a part as well.

As for friendship my definition may vary but it by no means makes it any less difficult to be my friend. See for me I have a few friends I have never met in person. I only know them from the Internet and yet would count them as very dear friends, and they hail from all around the world. But yes for me too an emotion has to be there for me to even consider someone as a friend but I surely don't have to know them in person before they become that to me.

Anyway this is much more of a babble then I intended, just couldn't help it really. Sorry it took a while to reply, had a complete system failure yesterday and had to buy a new comp today so things are going a bit slow in getting info back in place and such and checking in here is just kind of happening between restoring my information...well rebuilding it more like it.

Anyway Hiya L...

God, Higher Power, Spiritualism, Humanism, etc etc...

Very cool, I have always enjoyed talking with people who have gone about this kind of digging and research to formulate their own beliefs or to solidify the beliefs they had, either way I respect very much the time spent to base beliefs on thoughts explored. Thanks for spending the time to share your 'why'!




Ah ha! LOL sorry forget my above comment I see you did get a why out here. Thank you very much for sharing this and spending the time to do so. I very much enjoyed reading it and can easily see what you mean.




I don't wonder why people believe or don't believe I merely ask them to define why they do or don't. I am not questioning or meaning to question if it is normal or unnormal etc. To me that has no bearing on why I ask. Watch the thread maybe one of the atheists will post why they are atheists and perhaps help you to find an answer as to why some people do not believe in a higher power or god etc. Maybe



Thanks again Dusty, very interesting and easily understandable for me in that an ongoing search is something we all tend to do for whatever it may be that we seek, for many it is in fact a belief that they pursue for others it can be success, marriage, or combinations of them all etc. Thanks for the time spent to share your 'why'!




Thanks so much for taking the time to share your 'why' I was very impressed by your guides willingness to remain open minded and help you find your own path when his was so dedicate. Very interesting read, I enjoyed it a lot.

---

Again thank you all so much for the time spent to post your "why's" and to defend the threads quality! This is going quite well compared to some I have tried in other places before.

God, Higher Power, Spiritualism, Humanism, etc etc...

Very intriguing reading thank you so very much for the time spent to post such a reply. I can very much understand much of what you spoke about and have shared similar experiences in my own life!



Thank you very much for sharing your why's and for taking the time to do so. I very much enjoyed reading about them and can easily understand them. Also just thanks again for your gentle hand in bringing the OP back on each page that came up.






No, no, Thank YOU for taking such time to post it, truly a wonderful thing to read and I enjoyed it very much. Amazing how much there is in history that is forgotten in the present and yet how much seems to be riddled behind myths and legends turns out to hold truth yet much of the 'factual history' turns out to be myth... Again thanks for the time spent!





Truly fascinating and I thank you for sharing this but could you explain why you believe this? Even if it is just simply an expression of "because I believe what I believe" or if there was some other event that set you on that path? Anyway thanks again for sharing the above I appreciate the time spent to do so.




Thank you very much Dru, I found long ago that it was much more enlightening to me when I asked the why, without asking anything else and in fact making a point to let people know I had no interest in WHAT, only WHY... I have compiled a great deal of input on this over the past 20+ years from thousands of people and thus far I must say it has truly been amazing at what it has revealed to me. But again that is for a different thread..

God, Higher Power, Spiritualism, Humanism, etc etc...

Thanks very much for sharing your time in posting. I enjoyed reading it!



Thanks so very much Dru, very interesting posting I only cropped t so I would have a bit more space to write Very much appreciate the time given to post your 'why'!



Hiya Laura, thanks very much for the comments, and as far as what my beliefs are that is for a different thread It is very hard for people to talk about why without defining what I have found and here again that little bit of trivia holds true still. Some are able to do it and those I find truly fascinating to read, those who are unable to say why without giving the what and such are also fascinating but in a different way... Maybe I will post a different thread to talk about that later... Thanks for asking about my beliefs though, I appreciate the interest.



Awesome, thanks very much for the time spent to post that and for the constant attempts to help the thread stay on track!

Very much appreciated. Also a fascinating read.



Indeed! and thank you very much for taking the time to share them, I enjoyed reading about your why's.

God, Higher Power, Spiritualism, Humanism, etc etc...

Well before I start replying directly to a few postings I would first like to say thank yous to JesseJ, Dusty, Dru, Krimsa, and others for defending the thread and people posting to it.

Krimsa I wanted to thank you for making sure that atheism was also welcome to be talked about in this thread, it is one I have always enjoyed hearing why people believe in not believing of higher power(s) etc of any kind. So thank you for defending that position.

JesseJ, Dru, and the others who have gone to length trying to help the thread stay true to expressions of why and not debates of proof, or kind, etc I very much appreciate all the efforts spent to help!! very much!

Dusty Thank you for the gentle persuassive manner in which you have brought back the OP on each page that has come up, truly appreciate a tender hand and soft encouragement of the OP.

Ok again thanks to everyone participating, I have some great posts to respond to and will start doing so now.

God, Higher Power, Spiritualism, Humanism, etc etc...

Sorry I vanished folks. I had a complete system failure and had to drive to San Marcos to buy a new computer this morning. I'll finish catching up in the thread and such shortly but wanted to say thank you for so many replies, I look forward to reading!!

Will get to reading and posting thank you's pretty quick

God, Higher Power, Spiritualism, Humanism, etc etc...

No worries, and no hurries. Share what you wish when you can, it's all good. Besides I too still build upon my beliefs daily.

God, Higher Power, Spiritualism, Humanism, etc etc...

I respect that you hold beliefs as you do, please stop trying to derail this thread with them though. If you would like to share why you believe them please do, but please stop making statements that others may wish to argue with. I would like to have no arguments in this thread. Thank you in advance for your consideration.

me

God, Higher Power, Spiritualism, Humanism, etc etc...

Thanks very much for the time spent to share yours NMP I can appreciate those backgrounds to a belief very much.


me

God, Higher Power, Spiritualism, Humanism, etc etc...

Thanks Big J, good solid reasoning for believing in something, appreciate the time given to respond!


Hope you feel better soon!
me

God, Higher Power, Spiritualism, Humanism, etc etc...

I was eleven years old when my oldest brother was accidentally shot by our middle brother. Brother 1 (oldest) was standing outside a barn with his girlfriend after they had been horseback riding, brother 2 (older then me younger then brother 1) was inside the barn and went to pick up a 30/30 rifle that was on a bench in there. The gun fired and went through the barn door, spreading the bullet out, and through brother 1.

Brother 1 was in the hospital for months and three times we were told that he would not live through the night. Each time we heard that my mom would stay at the hospital 24/7, and each time we heard that I would later sneak out of our house (2 blocks from the hospital) and go and sit under my brothers window.

I would sit there until the sun came up and I would just try my very best to make sure my brother KNEW I was there and hoping he would get better. One time I know I saw him in my mind and he was walking away from me, I ran after him and grabbed his hand telling him he could not leave. He looked at me and asked why not and all I could think of to reply with was "brother 2's name" would never be able to forgive himself!

Brother 1 looked long and hard at me and said ok I'll stay. The next thing I know I am just sitting there in the morning sun smiling knowing that brother 1 was ok. I went home and later that day went to see brother 1 and he gave me a look and said simply 'thank you'

That is where my beliefs truly began, I had explored other beliefs had been raised in a very strong belief, but that event set me on the path of the beliefs I hold to this day.

---

Just thought I would share my own as an example of what I mean in the first posting.

Take care all,
me (aka brother 3)

God, Higher Power, Spiritualism, Humanism, etc etc...

This thread is not to discuss or even really mention WHAT you believe as much as it is meant to share WHY you believe it.

I have always been fascinated in the reasons people have for their beliefs and have always enjoyed reading what it was that set them on the current path they follow in the way they believe on a "religious" standpoint.

So please do NOT compare beliefs with other posters but instead just share why you believe what you do, was there a single event that started your beliefs? Have you witnessed something that made you believe as you do? Do you have blind faith in the belief you were raised with? If you ever doubted your own beliefs what made you reaffirm them?

These kinds of things are what I would truly love to hear about. Again please do NOT state your beliefs, just share WHY they are your beliefs.

Hoping this can remain as intended, and expressing my gratitude in advance for the efforts folks will go through to help it stay that way.


me

RE: What's the first thing you do when you wake up?

Ditto!

RE: Nope...

My showing up for it?....



oh you mean ruin it for ME...

uhm...



her finding out I am outside her window...

er..
uhm..

I mean her turning her webcam off...

no no wait...
uhm...

never mind

...I was never here...

RE: The 'Other Person'

LOL hey at least she was upfront about becoming an EX and didn't make those promises of always loving me etc ...

---

Poor VM, that ex-lady of yours must have simply gutted you and hung you, and stretched your skin in front of the mud door where she wiped her feet or something...

Maybe you should go horseback riding in the mountains with some 'cowboy' who could 'break' you out of that shell...LMFAO ok can't keep a straight face...

RE: The 'Other Person'

Thank you, I simply just see no reason to repay so much time given and shared with someone, by being foul or rude to them or the life they continue pursuing. I much prefer to be able to continue friendships at least. Besides it isn't like I talk to them all the time and such most are every six months or so just to touch base see how things are going etc. Some it's a year or so, etc. Unless they call me wanting to talk about something inbetween those times.

So no worries on the jest, it was taken as it was meant, just good fun.