bestbefore Forum Posts (4,701)

Stay off your bike...............

My wife found out that our dog (a Schnauzer) could hardly hear, so she took it to the veterinarian. The vet found that the problem was hair in the dog's ears. He cleaned both ears, and the dog could then hear fine. The vet then proceeded to tell Andrea that, if she wanted to keep this from recurring, she should go to the store and get some "Nair" hair remover and rub it in the dog's ears once a month.
Andrea went to the store and bought some "Nair" hair remover. At the register, the pharmacist told her, "If you're going to use this under your arms, don't use deodorant for a few days."
Andrea said, "I'm not using it under my arms."
The pharmacist said, "If you're using it on your legs, don't use body lotion for a couple of days."
Andrea replied, "I'm not using it on my legs either. If you must know, I'm using it on my Schnauzer."
The pharmacist says, "Well, stay off your bicycle for about a week.

Stay off your bike!!!!!!!!!

My wife found out that our dog (a Schnauzer) could hardly hear, so she took it to the veterinarian. The vet found that the problem was hair in the dog's ears. He cleaned both ears, and the dog could then hear fine. The vet then proceeded to tell Andrea that, if she wanted to keep this from recurring, she should go to the store and get some "Nair" hair remover and rub it in the dog's ears once a month.
Andrea went to the store and bought some "Nair" hair remover. At the register, the pharmacist told her, "If you're going to use this under your arms, don't use deodorant for a few days."
Andrea said, "I'm not using it under my arms."
The pharmacist said, "If you're using it on your legs, don't use body lotion for a couple of days."
Andrea replied, "I'm not using it on my legs either. If you must know, I'm using it on my Schnauzer."
The pharmacist says, "Well, stay off your bicycle for about a week.

RE: why wont anyone accept me?

Thanks D , another voice of reason. I'm sure TH will come back when he's ready,after all it was his second home, and he has loads of friends here.

RE: Why Are There SOOOOOO Many Unattractive Men Under 50 on Here?

How to make friends and influence people,don't think so. From what I've seen of some of your responses to others, you are more than capable of slating people.

RE: Why Are There SOOOOOO Many Unattractive Men Under 50 on Here?

I thought the same too Tom.Maybe a case of pot kettle!

Only an Aussie!

Thought that one might appeal to you.Mickey would have like that one too bless him!

RE: why wont anyone accept me?

Keep it clean Ali, Bo's a married lady.

Only an Aussie!

Two Aussies, Frank and Steve, were adrift in a lifeboat. While rummaging through the boat's provisions, Frank stumbled across an old lamp. He rubbed the lamp vigorously and a genie came forth.

This genie, however, stated that he could only deliver one wish, not the standard three.

Without giving much thought to the matter, Frank blurted out, "Turn the entire ocean into beer. Make that XXXX Bitter!"

The genie clapped his hands with a deafening crash, and immediately the sea turned into the hard-earned thirst quencher. The genie vanished.

Only the gentle lapping of beer on the hull broke the stillness as the two men considered their circumstances. Steve looked disgustedly at Frank whose wish had been granted.

After a long, tension-filled moment Steve said, "Nice going Frank! Now we're going to have to piss in the boat."

Only an Aussie!

Two Aussies, Frank and Steve, were adrift in a lifeboat. While rummaging through the boat's provisions, Frank stumbled across an old lamp. He rubbed the lamp vigorously and a genie came forth.

This genie, however, stated that he could only deliver one wish, not the standard three.

Without giving much thought to the matter, Frank blurted out, "Turn the entire ocean into beer. Make that XXXX Bitter!"

The genie clapped his hands with a deafening crash, and immediately the sea turned into the hard-earned thirst quencher. The genie vanished.

Only the gentle lapping of beer on the hull broke the stillness as the two men considered their circumstances. Steve looked disgustedly at Frank whose wish had been granted.

After a long, tension-filled moment Steve said, "Nice going Frank! Now we're going to have to piss in the boat."

RE: why wont anyone accept me?

Absolutely agree to both of my highlights Bo,especially on here.

RE: why wont anyone accept me?

Hi Bo , I'm sure True regrets what he wrote hence his apology. I just wish people wouldn't diagnose other members issues and assume that we are all either suicidal or depressed because we make a thread such as the author's.

The Forums may help some people who wish to disclose their personal life,but there will always be someone on here that will take the mickey ,and I'm sure that's not what TH meant to do.Sometimes there is too much melodrama on here,and people really do need to lighten up.

I also feel that telling the world about your private emailing details is not a good idea either,hence my comment. We all saw what happened with Ambrose and the personal foray that ensued. If it's private it should stay just that.j.m.o.

RE: The caption for this photo should be.... ?

See I knew you were stringing me along when you said we were going sailing.

Biker saves teenager.........

A tough looking group of bikers were riding when they saw a quite pretty teenage girl about to jump off a bridge - so they stopped.

The leader, a big burly man, gets off his bike and says, "What are you doing?" "I'm going to commit suicide," she says.

He wants to distract her so he says the first thing that pops into his head. "Well, before you jump, why don't you give me a kiss? At least you go out with a nice memory, eh?" She thinks for a moment as then she gives him a long, deep lingering kiss.

After she's finished, the biker says, "Wow! That was the best kiss I have ever had. That's a real talent you are wasting. You could be famous. Why are you committing suicide?"

"My parents don't like me dressing up like a girl."

RE: why wont anyone accept me?

I wasn't picking on you personally just replying to your post.

He has removed himself from the situation so as I said leave it at that.I'm sure the thread author realised True didn't mean it as he had the good sense to apologise.

RE: why wont anyone accept me?

Hi Leigh I'm saddened by this,we've lost a true gent in all honesty regardless of what others may think.

P.S. Did you get mail?

RE: why wont anyone accept me?

Hi G. True hasn't got a nasty bone in his body.I've seen far worse things posted on here over the years. Oh well another one bites the dust sad to say.

RE: why wont anyone accept me?

True has left the site ok.No need to keep beating on him .You know only too well he didn't mean it the way it appeared. Sometimes we press the keys, send and realise just what we have posted. Too late.

RE: Don't ever take your health for granted....

Hi Ccincy, I take nothing for granted including any health issues.

Just lost a family member who ignore a chest infection,and passed away Sunday after a year from being diagnosed with lung cancer. Needless to say she wouldn't stop smoking either,bless her.

RE: why wont anyone accept me?

Too late he's gone.Knowing him as I do this was a slip on his part as he really was one of the nicer guys on here.

I for one will miss him.

RE: Been wondering.

Hi there Ccincy, I actually look to see who the author of the thread is now ,as with certain people you know you are in for a rough ride.

The threads have become a battle field of late which is a shame as we all surely have something of interest to bring to the table so to speak.

Guess I'm getting old and long in the tooth.

RE: Happy Birthday To Conrad

Many many happies Conrad, Whatever the number please don't ever think of retiring from the Forums.What would we do without you.

RE: Welcome Back Beloved Disease....Kill Us,-In The Name Of PC.....

No but I do find most the threads by the OP are.

RE: Welcome Back Beloved Disease....Kill Us,-In The Name Of PC.....

No but I do find all the argumentative threads by the OP are.

RE: Welcome Back Beloved Disease....Kill Us,-In The Name Of PC.....

Absolutely Wow.He should post himself to a desert island and give ua all a break.

RE: Welcome Back Beloved Disease....Kill Us,-In The Name Of PC.....

Because it hasn't been erased,that's why. This is what most people here are trying to tell you. You are trying, as usual, to make something sinister out of something that is easily explained.

RE: Welcome Back Beloved Disease....Kill Us,-In The Name Of PC.....

Does this answer your questions.

RE: Welcome Back Beloved Disease....Kill Us,-In The Name Of PC.....

Not just Europe. Read below and you might have a better understanding of this disease.


ENNIS - Administrators are facing a health scare at a North Texas high school after dozens of kids tested positive for tuberculosis.

"Everytime I breathe, my chest hurts," said student Shabrekia Richardson. "The left side of my chest hurts so bad."

The high school junior went to Baylor Medical Center in Waxahachie Monday morning for chest x-rays. She's one of 80 Ennis High School students who tested positive for tuberculosis exposure.

"I was pretty shocked," she said. "I never thought something like this would happen."

Last week, administrators tested 200 students at Ennis High School, 40 miles south of Dallas. School and health officials said an infected teacher likely exposed the students within the past three months. The Texas Department of State Health Services has been called in, and is covering the costs of chest x-rays and medication for the exposed students, even while it downplays parents' fears.

"There's no indication they're infectious," said DSHS spokesperson Chris Van Deusen.

Van Deusen said at this point, exposed students have latent TB, which doctors say poses little risk to the community or their families. The school district is even encouraging those kids to continue going to classes, if they show no symptoms - a decision that troubled parents and students.

"It doesn't make sense," said Ennis High School student Xavier Tippen. "I thought it was a stupid decision to tell kids to come if they have a positive [test result]."

Doctors said just because someone is exposed to tuberculosis, doesn't mean they'll ever get sick. Only people with active tuberculosis symptoms are contagious. Symptoms include weight loss, serious coughing, and night sweats. The bacteria usually attacks the lung and can be fatal if untreated. TB generally is spread through coughing or sneezing.

"The way you get tuberculosis, is you acquire it and then 35 to 40 years later you develop symptoms," said Dr. Cedric Spak, a Baylor infectious diseases consultant.

Spak treats dozens of TB patients, but has not seen any of the Ennis cases.

The doctor said even people diagnosed with latent TB may never show any symptoms and may never spread the disease. He estimated the bodies of healthy teens would likely wall off the bacteria.

Last year, 1,385 Texans had active cases of TB.

The state hopes chest x-rays will reveal whether any of the Ennis students developed full-blown tuberculosis. Those results are expected within days.

Dr. Brian Smith, a regional director for the Texas Health Department, said there's a 10 pecent risk that the exposed students will develop active Tuberculosis. Thus, he's recommending a serious regimen that involves taking medication everyday for nine months, to help ensure the TB bacteria in their bodies doesn't intesify.

"They need to get the medication, and they need to take the whole nine months worth," Smith said.

RE: Today I sent an email to the mods

I thought "curls" were to do with weightlifting! I hope they are raising a glass or two.I know my ex husband is with all his Irish mates up there.

RE: Today I sent an email to the mods

Hi Ray I hope you get a response. Yep I guess it's important to keep fit whereever you are.God bless them!

RE: in the hospital

We must get the ame emails I posted this August 10th. but my man was called Jack.