Have I changed? Definitely. Whether for the better or not is yet to be determined. I've discovered that 27 years spent in forced isolation leave me ill-equipped to deal with people. I'm honest, open, trusting, and work hard at not causing others pain. I, very wrongly, assumed that such behavior was the norm. I obviously tried to rejoin the land of the living with my eyes wide shut. My eyes have been forced open and I now fight daily to keep from becoming bitter and jaded and non-trusting. I am still a bit surprised at people's treatment of each other at times. I will continue to learn while I'm here and hope for the best in terms of changes within myself.
JMHO - If God is so wonderful and loving and understanding of human imperfection, why would we need to fear him? If he will forgive all sinners if asked to, what would we have to fear from "misbehaving" if we're going to be forgiven no matter what we do, simply by asking for forgiveness?
Organized religion divides and attempts to control. Nothing more, nothing less. I begrudge no one their beliefs and wish them well in their life, until/unless they attempt to shove their own beliefs down my throat.
Unfortunately, in today's world, even getting to know someone quite well face to face doesn't guarantee that you'll truly know that person. You could then end up falling in love with someone you would normally never even associate with.
I remember one young woman who dated a wonderful man for 2 years. They finally got married and were a seemingly happy couple. He was a very successful workaholic and she was the happy housewife. Five years and two children later, she found out that he was already married and had another family when he married her. He was a master at keeping secrets.
I don't really have any phobias myself, but my youngest, who is now 25, has had coulrophobia (fear of clowns) since she was little. She has to leave the room if she sees a clown on TV, and if a clown comes near her when she's standing on the curb watching a parade pass by, she begins to panic and has to hide. She's never had a bad experience with a clown; simply an irrational fear of them.
All the world's a stage, and all the men and women merely players. They have their exits and their entrances, and one man in his time plays many parts. - William Shakespeare
Old Billy was a smart man. He knew what he was talking about.
I'm so sorry this happened to you, OP. I know the feeling. It's happened to me enough times that it will now take a very special and determined man to break through the barriers surrounding my heart. I guess I don't have to worry about the barriers being breached since I have yet to meet a man who is serious about developing anything more than a between-the-sheets relationship with anyone.
The pics were good for a late-night chuckle. But I have to wonder if they were self-portraits, or if he had someone behind the camera when he had his little oops. Yuk!
Just got off the phone with a friend living in North Dakota near the Canadian border. He said that since early this morning the snow has been nearly waist high and still falling. The temperature is dipping way below zero and the North wind is increasing to nearly gale force. His wife has done nothing but look through the kitchen window and just stare. He says if it gets much worse, he will have to let her come in the house.
I haven't had more than an hour or two of undisturbed sleep at a time in more than 18 years. I usually spend 8 hours in bed every night fighting just to get a total of 3 hours of sleep.
In my younger years my internal clock would occasionally get out of sync and I'd be awake for about 72 hours straight. Even now, on a fairly regular basis, I am awake for 24 to 36 hours at a time, especially if I have a project to keep me engrossed.
One of my silly little dreams is to experience a full 8 hours of undisturbed sleep.
After surviving 5 head injuries during our 23-year marriage, my ex was diagnosed as "acute bipolar paranoid schizophrenic with abusive tendencies". He refused treatment of any kind, including medication. To the best of my knowledge, he has still had no help. I pity any human being who gets to know him. I'm lucky I survived as long as I did.
Time is relative. Would you rather find someone right now who ends up being totally wrong for you and it takes 5 years to get rid of her, or would you rather find the right one for you 5 years from now and spend the rest of your lives together?
I have no idea how they actually got on together since I haven't seen him but once, shortly after he left. I can't imagine it lasted long since there aren't many women who would be willing or able to tolerate the problems (both mental and physical) that had been caused by his multiple head injuries.
Even now, I find myself not caring that he left me the way he did. I lived for too many long years in a hell not of my making. My middle daughter had survived 4 head injuries in the last 7 years of her life. When he left, his problems left with him. Good riddance! I'd have her back in a heartbeat (if I could), even with all her head injury problems.
I didn't leave. He did. Without a word. He just didn't come home one day almost 5 years ago. He left about 6 weeks after our middle daughter died. He used her death as an excuse to dump me for another woman.
He had survived 5 head injuries during our marriage and ended up with a diagnosis of "acute bipolar paranoid schizophrenic with abusive tendencies". When he left, I was too devastated by the loss of our daughter to even care. Once I realized he wasn't coming back, it just didn't matter any longer.
Married my ex exactly 3 weeks after we met. Were together 23 years. Had his multiple head injuries not interfered and entirely changed who he was, we'd still be together. He abandoned the marriage, I didn't. But then, I've been told I have a warped sense of devotion and dedication.
I am totally country. I can't even tolerate a small town. Hate crowds and concrete. Give me the solitary life as far away from all the "excitement" as possible. I need acres and acres of green fields, forests, wildlife, streams, ponds, clear sky, peace, quiet, dogs, horses.
One of my dreams is to own 1,000 acres in the middle of nowhere, totally fenced, big iron gate to keep out those who are not wanted. I could also live quite happily in a log cabin in the mountains with no other humans around for 100 miles.
I don't really think any of us are meant to live life alone. But life does have a distinct (and often unpleasant) way of interfering with the best-laid plans.
I spent most of the last 3 decades in forced hermit mode. During my last few years of attempting to rejoin the land of the living, I have been made acutely aware of the high probability of my being alone for the remainder of my life.
I spent most of the last 30 years caring for everyone but myself. From current outward appearances, I will spend the next 30 years doing the same.
Such is life! It's not always a picnic, but it's never boring!
A few years ago I read a story in a magazine about a 111-year old woman who had spent the previous 80 years as a bookie. She'd been smoking and drinking for nearly 100 years and had her doctor befuddled about how she could be so healthy living a less-than-healthy lifestyle. She said she ate whatever she wanted, as much as she wanted and didn't worry about all the "levels" of things in her body.
She was born in the late 19th century and had made it to the 21st. The stories she must have to tell would be worth listening to!
Have to disagree, claudya. Animals do indeed abandon their young. My daughter bottle raised a litter of pups abandoned by their mother at birth. I've seen cows abandon their calves. I've bottle raised foals that were abandoned by their mothers at birth. Even animals in the wild will abandon their young.
Animals are smarter than humans because their world is based on instinct alone. Fight or flight. Survival of the fittest. There is one species of animal on this planet (other than humans) who kill just for the sake of killing: the domestic cat.
Humans have so many problems simply because we possess the power of independent thought. It's our downfall.
I just finished reading an interesting book. "As Time Goes By" written by Abigail Trafford. I'd recommend it to anyone who would like a bit of insight into relationships for those who have reached the half-century mark and are traveling beyond it. It has restored my hope that anything is possible.
I believe! Although he hasn't visited me in a number of years, I see the joy his visits bring to those around me, and that makes me happy. I must have been a very bad girl for him to remove me from his list completely!
Got my first computer 20 years ago. Don't remember what brand it was. It ran on the CPM language and had an external dual floppy drive that used 8-inch disks. Shortly after, I moved up to a DOS-based computer. Loved DOS. I balked at learning Windows 3.1 when it came out, but had to learn it for work. I still prefer DOS over even Windows 7. Since that time I've been building my own computers because that's the only way I can get the exact components I want in a system.
We've been watching Christmas movies since before Thanksgiving. We've got quite a few favorites.
A Christmas Story (Gotta get me a leg lamp!) It's a Wonderful Life Santa Claus is Coming to Town Rudolph Frosty the Snowman Miracle on 34th Street A Christmas Carol The Santa Clause Santa Claus The Movie
imsophie1 Forum Posts (501)
RE: Have you changed since you have entered the world of internet dating?
Have I changed? Definitely. Whether for the better or not is yet to be determined. I've discovered that 27 years spent in forced isolation leave me ill-equipped to deal with people. I'm honest, open, trusting, and work hard at not causing others pain. I, very wrongly, assumed that such behavior was the norm. I obviously tried to rejoin the land of the living with my eyes wide shut. My eyes have been forced open and I now fight daily to keep from becoming bitter and jaded and non-trusting. I am still a bit surprised at people's treatment of each other at times. I will continue to learn while I'm here and hope for the best in terms of changes within myself.