I don't really have a specific favorite. All depends on what kind of mood I'm in. Cube, Saw, The Abandoned, House on Haunted Hill. But I also like all the old classics with Bella Lagosi, Lon Chaney, etc.
IMHO, I think it's quite possible to be a friend to your child, once that child has reached a reasonable age. Until a child has reached about 15 years old (and proven their relative maturity), their thinking can be muddled and they can get confused quite easily. That happens throughout life, but it's something that a child does not and will not understand how to handle without parental guidance.
I knew a woman who was trying to be her son's best friend, so she was buying a 12-year old beer and cigarettes and allowing him to run around with guys twice his age. He had no respect for her or for authority in general. I tried to explain to her that he needed her to be his mother, not his best friend, at that stage of his life. As a result of her being his best friend (and he admitted that she was), he ended up in serious trouble, spent time in a mental institution, and all 3 of her kids ended up in foster care.
It's a fine line that separates friend and parent. Children are forced to grow up so quickly these days. That makes our job as parents much more difficult.
IMHO you are confusing the title of this thread with involvement/responsibility.
"It takes a village to raise a child" means that every adult in a community should show all the children in a community by their own actions how to behave as intelligent, well-mannered adults. Since children learn by example, we should all act accordingly any time we're around children, our own or strangers' children.
Being a responsible adult and calling the authorities when a child is in trouble (or causing trouble) is all we can do these days. Any attempt to help anyone (in this sad world of ours) can/does often result in the "helper" being injured, killed, or ending up in serious legal trouble.
We are no longer safe lending assistance to anyone in trouble. If you're in a serious accident, it's likely no one will do anything more than call for help. Who wants to end up hurt or being fined (or doing jail time) for being a good samaritan?
Twelve years ago a tractor/trailer rearended my pickup twice. All three of us in the truck were injured. My ex got out and was trying to figure out how to get our daughter and I out. The driver who hit us called 911. Other drivers simply drove by the scene, gawking. Not one even stopped to ask if we were OK.
If I happen to come upon an accident scene, I will stop and call someone for the victims if necessary, and I will stay at the scene until help arrives. I'm not comfortable doing more than that for fear of repercussions. Were it a loved one involved, I would do more.
When four of Santa's elves got sick, the trainee elves did not produce toys as fast as the regular ones, and Santa began to feel the pre-Christmas pressure.
Then Mrs. Claus told Santa her mother was coming to visit, which stressed Santa even more.
When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were about to give birth and two others had jumped the fence and were out, heaven knows where.
Then when he began to load the sleigh, one of the floorboards cracked, the toy bag fell to the ground and all the toys were scattered.
Frustrated, Santa went in the house for a cup of apple cider and a shot of rum. When he went to the cupboard, he discovered the elves had drunk all the cider and hidden the liquor. In his frustration, he accidentally dropped the cider jug, and it broke into hundreds of little pieces all over the kitchen floor.
He went to get the broom and found the mice had eaten all the straw off the end of the broom.
Just then the doorbell rang, and an irritated Santa marched to the door, yanked it open, and there stood a little angel with a great big Christmas tree.
The angel said very cheerfully, 'Merry Christmas, Santa. Isn't this a lovely day? I have a beautiful tree for you. Where would you like me to stick it?'
And so began the tradition of the little angel on top of the Christmas tree.
Good question! My views are split. I was raised in a "traditional" household to an extent. Dad worked. Mom raised 5 kids until we were about 5 or 6. We then were doing her housework and such. She had a great time spending money on herself. When Dad retired, she didn't want him doing anything to enjoy himself, but she couldn't stand being around him. And she was thoroughly ticked about the loss of income.
I had a "traditional" marriage while my girls were young. My ex and I decided it needed to be that way because neither of us wanted our girls being "latch-key kids". He was home for 48 hours every 3-5 weeks. I was responsible for every facet of our lives 24/7. My joy came from caring for my family. At one point my ex was no longer away from home so much and I had a job outside the home. I was still responsible for every facet of our lives. He just didn't seem to be able to handle it all, even though things were easier because our girls were all in school.
My youngest daughter has to work. Until she had kids, she was content working sometimes 16 hours a day. She's only working 10 hours a day now, but is beginning to realize what she's missing. I babysit my grandkids 12 hours a day. She gets to see them for a couple hours every afternoon before work. She would love to stay home and raise her kids, but it's not possible. I'd have gone crazy being away from my kids so much when they were little.
Raising children is the toughest, most important job anywhere, bar none. Someone else raising my kids just wouldn't have worked for me. But I had a choice 30 years ago. My daughter has no choice and is upset about it. Her children spend quality time with her and love her, but they come to Memaw for comfort, discipline, and their basic needs.
And if God had intended for men to work and women to stay home and care for their families, he would have made politicians smarter and human beings less greedy, and he wouldn't have given women the ability to think.
Thank you for the kind words. I simply did what I thought was right. My own wants, needs, and desires never entered the picture. My joy in life came from taking care of my family. My entire life has been like that. Even now, "me" doesn't matter much to me. My happiness comes from doing for others. It's who I am. I've been told I need to learn to be selfish and think of myself once in a while. But thinking strictly about myself feels selfish to me, and I can't do it.
I trusted my instincts and married my ex exactly 3 weeks after we met. We were together 23 years. If his multiple head injuries hadn't changed him into someone unrecognizable to me (even as a human being), we'd most likely still be together. I was totally devoted. I lived through 17 years of a hell not of my making (because of his head injuries) and would have continued to do so. I married him for better or worse, not better and no head injuries. He chose to break our vows by abandoning me, our daughters, and our grandkids almost 5 years ago. Because of what I went through, I've been told I have a warped sense of dedication and devotion.
Mindy was a Boxer/Collie mix. In the summer, I'd fall asleep under a tree in the back yard, using her as a pillow. In the winter, I'd fall asleep in front of the fireplace, using her as a pillow. When I had a bad day, I'd wrap my arms around her neck and cry. She'd lick my face and make everything all better. We shared ice cream cones. We went swimming together. She'd eat the things off my dinner plate that I didn't like (I'd sneak them under the table to her). She showed me that animals would always be my best friends.
If it was someone I knew who was a voracious reader (as I am), I'd give them a gift certificate from a book store. I'd hate to try to guess someone's reading preferences. I'd love to get a gift certificate like that. Actually, I'd just like it if we had a book store in my area.
If I had a neighbor doing that, I'd teach him a serious lesson. I've got several 50 caliber blowguns. One type of ammo I have is called a stinger. It's a small projectile that will leave a big welt and stings like crazy. It would be especially painful hitting such a tender spot. Oh, the images!
I've been involved in the trucking industry my entire life. My father drove for almost 40 years. I was married to a truck driver for 23 years. Having a relationship with a truck driver is not easy. My ex was home for 48 hours every 3-5 weeks (and treated like a king during his time home). Every single facet of our lives fell on my shoulders. I raised our 3 daughters alone. Even now I'm not quite certain how we made it as long as we did, other than the fact that I have what has been called a warped sense of dedication.
It will take a special woman indeed to survive a relationship with a truck driver. They are scarce, but they do exist.
Why is it so difficult to find love? Human nature. To find a love which will last and is genuine, we must be willing/able to look deep inside ourselves and those around us. A lot of people cannot/will not venture there due to an inherent fear of the unknown, especially within ourselves. Also, finding that love requires work. A lot of people are not willing/able to invest any amount of time or effort in knowing themselves or anyone else. A lot of people think life and love are easy.
As a mother with grown daughters and several grandkids, I'd love to get a quilt like that. There are a lot of things I'd like to have for myself, but the grandkids will only be this age once. A photo quilt would be most cherished.
I am mechanically challeneged, but my youngest daughter does all my maintenance and mechanic work. She also does any body work that might need done. It's nice having someone so talented in the family.
Oh SB. I'm so glad you removed that line from your profile! I will have to make an exception with my back button, just for you. When I make it your way for a visit, I'll do my best to "act right".
I don't know how it is anywhere else, but here teachers are now simply overpaid babysitters. There are more mediocre, indifferent, and truly bad teachers than there are good ones. I've witnessed this on so many levels. Every child is expected to learn in the same manner and at the same rate. And in high schools in my area, sports take precedence over education. Any student who plays a sport will automatically pass their classes. Students who don't play a sport don't matter. When the school budget is created, the first money spent (after the administrator's salary) will be on sports insurance and equipment. Then teachers are paid, and so on down the line. IF there is money left over, new books or learning materials for students will be purchased. Sad, so sad.
My two youngest daughter were threatened with detention because they refused to participate in "pep rallies" at school. They preferred to do homework. They didn't play sports and weren't interested in even watching. My middle daughter was screamed at by one teacher until he became ill. Many parents complained about him. In elementary school, a teacher threw scissors at a student. I've witnessed teachers who actually dislike children (including their own).
Three reasons to become a teacher: June, July, and August. That's what you hear from a lot of teachers here.
This thread reminds me of a profile I read recently. The man's description of himself sounded great. He supposedly had many of the qualities I would like in a man. Until I read the last line in his profile. "I need to have a woman in my life who will respect me as head of the home." I hit the back button right quick. Gave me visions of "my word is law, you will not question my decisions, you will cook and clean and keep your mouth shut, you will not speak unless spoken to".
I can truly relate to this. My mother played organ and piano beautifully. She forced me to take lessons for 5 years as a kid. I hated it. No interest back then. In high school I ended up being the "floater" in band because I could play nearly every instrument in the band. Even after all the years of piano lessons, I can still only read for the right hand, but I play by ear. I'm now teaching myself banjo and accordion. I'd love to learn harp and violin.
My oldest and youngest daughters started playing piano on their own. The oldest taught herself to read music and the youngest plays by ear (and plays classical pieces well) and is teching herself to read music.
My 2-year old grandson showed an interest in my keyboard about 6 months ago, so we let him play. For a while he just banged on the keys, but he has recently begun using single fingers on each key, like he sees Mom and Memaw doing. His concentration surprises me at times. He will "play" my keyboard for sometimes half an hour at a time. We're hoping his interest in music continues to grow, but if it doesn't, oh well.
After me being forced to take lessons every week (which I hated) for several years, I swore I'd never force any child (or grandchild) of mine to endure the same.
Don't know and don't care. Rarely check WVM. If someone views my profile and likes what they read, they'll contact me. If not, it's nothing I'm going to waste time and energy wondering about since I rarely initiate contact with anyone.
imsophie1 Forum Posts (501)
RE: Back together
Never. When I evict someone from my life (or they remove themselves), it is total and permanent.