smoky Forum Posts (9,412)

RE: just a thought

OH COOL IDEA..... SPIDERMOOSE is the Public Relations Officer for the Church of Latter Day Sinners.

He is also Head of the Sales Department.

Membership will be run on the "Pyramid Scheme", so you get a percentage of all Quatros (that is one quarter, instead of the usual Tenth).. Every member will pay one quarter of their Gross Salary monthly on Direct Deduction by the Bank into the Church of Latter Day Sinners (heretoafter referred to as simply "Sinners") Secret Bank Account in Zurich.

Every month there will be prizes for those recruiting the most new members. And Bonus Points can be earned for merely bringing along a friend.

For the first 20 New Members Enrolled, there will be a Special Gift... Each of the 20 will receive a Brand New Coffin, while they still live, so that they can personally view and enjoy what most people never live to see!

So... rush your membership details, with Gross Monthly Income and Bank Account Details, to SPIDERMOOSE. All correspondence will be treated with the utmost discretion.

RE: the alphabet game

H.. IS FOR

HELVETIA CH

RE: its quiz time

NO COMMENT. As long as YOU are happy.

PS. I would recommend that you send the above information to the International Committee for Statues, so that in future they can publish the correct statistics in Encyclopedias and other books of Knowledge.

RE: Welcome to Cyba's bar...........ALL WELCOME.......

I think some video footage should be taken of you guys in the pub.

Have you ever taken a look at yourselves?(thats what the mirror behind the counter is for)....

Now.... when women meet other women.... do they....Slap them on the back, jab them in the guts, scream with laughter at their new outfit/cap/t.shirt/shoes?.. and then shout to everyone else in the place to "Check this out!"? ... and then march right to the other end of the bar-counter, without waiting for their companion, to start doing the same thing to another friend/workmate/janitor, or whoever else they recognise?... or better still... creep up behind an unsuspecting "friend" and then Rugby Tackle them to the floor, rubbing dirt into their hair and pummelling them all over, while laughing insanely?

No, women dont do those things. SO, while all that is going on, isnt it nice, for the women of the above men, to at least have a nice comfortable place to retire to, until all the "greetings" have taken place? See? Women only do practical things, so never question them, just accept.

RE: Has WW been on the lash today 16th Jan 2007

Oh Yes Master, Whatever Master wants Smoky to do, Smoky she will do it, just to please you Oh Mighty and Powerful Lord of All he Surveys and Paints.....
Immediately, I am on my way, I will just drop everything that I am doing, grab a hunk of dry bread, throw some clothes, any old thing, into my rucksack, and go jump on the train, and speed with all haste to Austria, never mind the laundry drying and waiting to be folded, or the evening meals that should be cooked for the family, or the groceries to be bought for the household, or the grandchildren to look after...... I shall Abandon all, at Your Call, and Hasten to Your Side, that You may Rest and Recover, to Recoup Your Energies, that You may Unleash More Art on the World.

RE: new body form

As you said KK....a very distinct possibility!
Wots he on do you think? I gonna throw out my bottle of Riaja if thats what it does to one

Now, I think that Wedy is expecting me to fly my broomstick over to Austria this week-end?.... like i did last week-end?... and "just a tillte early"? I am realy wondering what a "tillte" is?

And if I do go to all that trouble, and it IS a lot of trouble negotiating a broomstick over the Alps.... is he planning on serving Komodo Dragon Steaks? with chips and fried eggs?

He realy is quite a unique individual, you all gotta admit?

RE: Check this out....!

You so realise, dont you, that you have been OFFICIALLY CERTIFIED?

RE: Welcome to Cyba's bar...........ALL WELCOME.......

No Darl, those are not his and hers wc's.... they for you guys to share! You did'nt want the champagne dralon recliner couch to sit on while waiting... so now you just got to share toilet seats.
If there is a lot of pink about.... its means you are in the Ladies.... we put all the pink stuff in there. You guys have got plain and simple 1820 Wild West Frontier Saloon stuff in your side... nice simple cold water, no white porcelain for you to mess up, thick sawdust on the floor to mop up all the spills, and a hole in the wall to pee thru.... all most authentic! .... and that you all happy at last?

RE: its quiz time

WOMAN POWER KNOWLEDGE

YYYYYEEEEESSSSSSS!!!!!! The WINNER is.......

BRUNETTE !!!!!!




Just a small little question for Wedy..... How do you spell Rioja?

RE: Check this out....!

You actually needed a Certificate?

RE: the alphabet game

E is for ESTONIA

RE: the alphabet game

Isnt he just TOO adorable? Like he measures a statue, without its base?

RE: Has WW been on the lash today 16th Jan 2007

Just reporting in on minor slip of his.... YUP you right... its spelt Rioja...

RE: the alphabet game

CANADA......!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!home of the Moose

RE: its quiz time

I am using the tone of voice of that lady who hosts the "Who wants to be a Millionaire?" Show...............

When a Statue is completed, it is the Complete Height of the said Statue that counts. What is the point of having the statue measured seperately to the Base? Theoretically, if a ceiling is 3m high, the Completed Statue WITH its base must not exceed 3m, not so? Therefore, using a Theodolite,or whatever you measure heights with, to measure the height of the Statue of Liberty, one would come to the eventual TRUE height of said Statue, not so?

i.e. How many feet/metres from the ground... to the end of the statue, is the question, when talking about height.... and its even at Sea Level!

And, to top it all off, the Man wants a reward for his shamefull lack of understanding of a basic question?

---------------------------------------------

The Question to answer NOW is.... WHAT is the largest flower in the World?
NOT WHERE is the largest flower in the World.

RE: are we

I think its very sad when someone dies, and the rest of the relatives stand around saying "Oh shame, he/she gave EVERYTHING for others, and we feel SO guilty for not giving him/her more"

So, I decided, that when I die, my family must be SO happy..... They must be able to stand around and say "OMG.... SO GLAD SHE's FINALLY GONE!" ..... no guilt trips, no flowers... I want my flowers NOW!

Unreliability

Just another sensible person, with a balanced brain!
This Thread has run its length now.... I have given up giving sympathy to the Lame Brained.... water under the bridge, all that sort of stuff since this posting. Thanks everyone for responding with your positive feedback, you all nice people.

RE: Check this out....!

... and mine has the Stethoscope, Thermometer, Scissors, Watch, etc etc........

RE: Check this out....!

Wedys has the arms cross-crossed over his chest......

RE: new body form

Its a HUGE reptile, like a Giant Lizard, and it eats people!

RE: love

Show me your scars.... and I'll show you mine!

RE: new body form

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Check how INNOCENT he becomes when he's caught out, huh?
Course he is fishing... and this is a mighty Big River....and he has NO idea WHAT is going to take the bait!... Can he handle what he catches?

RE: Songs Lyrics

Thats lovely Wooffy, the words are incredible and so true.

RE: which thing

Freeze....! Different place, different time..... You and my Brother would have made an hillarious pair!!!!

RE: its quiz time

Oh so now you changed to the Easy one hey? Too timid to go traipsing thru Rain Forests and Jungles in search of Mayan Temples?

Okay, I'll let you answer as though it was the Statue of Liberty.

Now, if you dont mind a difference of 80 feet off the actual height, then you would be correct. But as 80 feet makes one heck of a difference, then you are WRONG! Her height is 220feet, or 67 metres. You did, however, get the year correct, and the donor correct..... which was NOT the question.

So, now, I do believe I have the honour of bestowing the NEXT question!!!!!

Q. WHAT IS THE NAME OF THE BIGGEST FLOWER IN THE WORLD?

If you have to go to Google/Internet, then you only qualify for 2nd prize.

RE: Welcome to Cyba's bar...........ALL WELCOME.......

Well, my dear, you men wanted sawdust.... we used to have nice polished wood, with scatter rugs, big comfy pillows to lounge on, dim lights, just the clink of good crystal and the mellow sound of pouring alcohol, wailing Arabic background music, and Freeze belly-dancing while she served drinks.

NOW... you want the Wild Wild West! Well, to realy get authentic, we got a nice big fat pig from the Homeless Shelter, she used to share a kennel with HD and they were missing each other. Well she will amble thru now and again and eat up any food spilt on the floor, she doesnt mind snuffling thru the sawdust either. And we got Huckleberry and Finn the two Donkeys whom I rescued from being ill-treated, they very sweet, and they love people, so they will take a stroll thru every now and then, they love to lick the tabletops clean... just be sure to remove the bowls of sugar, your drinks, and your cigarette packets, they eat whatever they can find.

Now..... please can I have A Full Bottle of that delicious Riojo wine?... No, not yet! its hasnt "breathed".... I will have a nice cold beer. Thank you. And I hope these men are happy now! All future decor is up to them. As long as they dont interfere with HD, Pig, Huckleberry or Finn.

RE: Check this out....!

Oh La-te-dah-tah...... now you just making that up! You copying what Sunshine said, and what Jan said, and all those other cultured people on the Forum said..... I KNOW you drink Vodka mixed with Plonk, and also that you poach your eggs in Vodka! I think you use only the yellow part.... the white part you use for painting with, or polishing your floors, or something like that.

RE: the alphabet game

T H A N K F U L .... whew, got 8

RE: Are we alone in this world??

Now EVERYONE can see the True Wedy! And what is he wearing?

I just love his "Flirtation Reputation"... what the hell is that?

He thought he was doing an audition at Cyba's, and after all his Riojo, he forgot where he was.... !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

RE: just a thought

Oh it will be the coolest place to be! All the wanne-be-seens will be there, all wearing the latest fashions! No unwashed cars allowed outside MY church. And that is an excellent idea Wedy, the Deacons will all wear Pointy Hats in Bright Colours. I just got to think up a good name for my church.
Another good idea I just had is that we will hold our services on Monday afternoons. For the reason that everyone like to sleep late on Sundays, then get up to read the papers, eat a huge brunch, watch sport in the afternoons, and socialise around a B'b'que in the early evenin, have a few beers or wines... and on Mondays no-one wants to get up for work! So by having their Religious Services on Mondays they have a constitutional right to the day off? So they can still sleep late, and get up for church in the afternoon. Then they all ready, sins forgiven, clean slate, for work on Tuesday!