but it goes to show that maybe im in the minority because i cant do LDR (to include friendships) unless... maybe... if the relationship was already there and strong and then we became separated for whatever reason.... !!
roger that... i know just the perfect location with snow capped mountains !!!!!! as for the jeep... yeah not so much, ... how about a nice hemi powered Dodge????? lift kit and all !!!!
how on green earth did you get such a crazy idea as to go away from him on vacation... you as a woman are duty bound to serve him hand and foot... you leaving him for a week was a clear signal to him that you were not gonna fulfill your duties and thus he did the right thing by going out and finding someone else who would !!!
agreed.... but again, i help those that can be helped, want to be helped and whom i care to help... the key is that they want my help... i actually kinda get paid to help people some times (perfect strangers) ... but that is not friendship... frienship is not defined by help or need... its defined by something much deeper than that... and as you say... it takes a long time to develop that bond... and, at least for me, cannot be done remotely from thousands of miles away !!!!
roger that.... and that is exactly what relationships do.. they evolve and become something that they may not have initially been planned on being... but again... hard for some of said relationships to evolve further and faster when done over the net or phone or what have you !!!
yeah... same thing with "love"... i get people all the time saying: "i LOVE camping" so then i say: "oh good, well i got this trip set up in the middle of the sticks, no toilet, not cell phone coverage and you need a 4X4 to get there, and its in the dead of winter so we'll be setting the tent up in the snow"
surprisingly enough, no one has yet taken me up on the invitation...
especially when i tell em: "well if you LOVE camping, why wont you come? or were you just lying??"
i think both words are grossly over used and thus no longer have real meaning !!!!
well... dont think you want any involvement with my movement cos im gettin ready to start a coup up in here which im sure is gonna land me and all my accomplices in the slammer !!!!!
well... those real friends of mine would not even ask me to share cos they know that if i need to, i will... and if i dont then i dont need to.... and thats just the point... if someone is concerned about me because i aint getting touchy feely and crying on their shoulder, then they obviously do not know me well
well... if this had only been an issue once or twice, i'd have dismissed it as an odd occurrence... but it seems like most everyone IS that way !!!
next thing i know they are getting all pissed off at me and saying im too closed off and that i dismiss people easy and that i dont let anyone in.... im like: "duh !! i aint letting ya in just cos YOU say i can trust you, you gotta SHOW me that i can trust ya!!"
well... that's just it... i dont call those people "friends" ... maybe buddies or acquaintances or co-workers, but not friends....
more importantly, i dont share with them very much about my personal life... yet i've noticed that many of them almost expect it, its almost as if in order to get along you have to open up to them before even knowing them very well !!!
i do open up to people but only AFTER i've gotten to know them well enough to know that i can trust them
I recently had a conversation with someone and it got me to thinking... Am i the ONLY one who defines "friends" this way?
let me explain... i believe that the word "friend" is about as over used as the word "love" and thus, both have lost their meaning to a large degree.
basically, if i call someone my friend, i think of him/her as a brother/sister (literally)... i would do ANYTHING (within reason) for a friend, as a result, im not one to call someone a friend until i have decided that the relationship has earned that label. thus it takes me a long time to make friends. but once i do make them the remain there for life.
i hear people all the time, in here saying: "i've met a lot of great friends here" or "you are a dear friend to me" yet these people have never met the person in real life and only know whatever they may say via the internet or phone.
even if you meet someone a few times, do you know them well enough under those circumstances to share intimate personal details about yourself? would any of those people fly out on a moments notice to help you when you need it most? CAN they even afford to fly out?
now im not saying that relationships cant be made over long distances, but im having problems understanding who the can be "close" relationships without the ability to truly get to know each other, and i just dont see how you can do that from thousands of miles away... personally, i call those people acquaintances, but i could never open up to them without personal contact
again i ask... am i the ONLY one who thinks this way????
MetalMilitia Forum Posts (576)
FRIENDS
well... happy that it works for ya....but it goes to show that maybe im in the minority because i cant do LDR (to include friendships) unless... maybe... if the relationship was already there and strong and then we became separated for whatever reason.... !!