Stedan Poetry (135)

When one dreams do we see our fate,
to plummet from that cliff or jump with fright,
fearful of the dark it being so late,
awakened from our laborious plight,

For some interpretation is a must,
to understand what if or could might be,
for others we allow them to turn to dust,
if we knew the meaning would it set you free,

Grief and torment surrounds the past,
hopes and aspirations in future dreams,
sometimes so real it is a last gasp,
is our future what it seems,

The most hurtful dream of all,
the one that terrifies our very soul,
to lose that loved one, the one we always call,
self preservation awakes my mind before one disappears into
the hole.

The quiet air of despair lingers on,
forgotten memories show their face,
the love I had held, so long gone,
passions arose and died without trace,


This time last year my heart was ablaze,
Green trees turning to Autumns brown,
I now realise for you it was a passing phase,
lips no longer smiling but carrying a frown,


Family and friends know am not the same,
becoming the quiet and silent recluse,
loving someone for real is never a game,
being disheartened and broken is not an excuse,


Silent promises to self to ride out the storm,
Putting life into this saddened figure,
timeless emotions leaves one forlorn,
so many times I wanted to pull that trigger,


A timeless lesson learned of loves chase,
sceptical and disillusioned of a future meet,
love slowly and never in haste,
but am still here and standing on my own two feet.

Take away the dream surrounding my mind,
place the truth of reality into my soul,
the conflict of reasoning is so hard to find,
bitter sweet memories that once made me whole,

Caffiene induced highs into my bloodstream,
a falseness of feeling to be imbibed,
alcoholic madness drowned the beautiful dream,
confounded tears from the eyes of those who lied,

Love had no pride when it broke my heart,
passions had long died and my bosom it smother,
sometimes one wonders if they could have again that start,
heart, soul and emotions long for another lover,

This inner conflict that dwells within,
longing for a past and desirous of a present,
searching high and low, these walls becoming thin,
descending in abyss of gloom or riding new loves crescent.

So many looking for that sacred romance,
where your heart and mind are gripped,
wondering sometimes if to take that chance,
but scared in case others laughed as you tripped,

Within a dating site profiles anew,
recycled members and new ones about,
how many times have we had a view,
wondering if one should make the first shout,

Always we seem to have that little doubt,
so many choices from this galleried candy store,
different pictures and soulful words you want to find out,
who in this world could make you want more,

Re-map your mind and take those in view,
LadyLori who reaches out for romantic bliss,
That sweet lady KNenagh looking for love true,
Poor Ali still awaiting that true loves kiss,

That gentle lady Merriweather from the southern hemisphere,
whose prose of words can make you think indeed,
Trueheart gentle english knight who is bold and has no fear,
would he be someones true loves steed,

Far to the west is JeanKimberley enigmatic with a slight tilt,
Always dreaming of her Highland man in a kilt,
Mollybaby from the land of green,
Waiting for her true love to be seen,

Unlaoised who feels the power of love,
still awaiting her true mating dove,
South Africa lies a Cocheta who thinks chivalry is dead,
still awaiting her knight to get into her head,

If we were to take all in view,
a part of each for our romantic tryst,
all together they become a perfect hue,
if one had all of this then romance would indeed be bliss.

The process of age is a life spun story,
wrinkles and lines that span our face,
many hunger for fame and glory,
the majority would like to live in grace,

Life is about living and new ventures,
age is about slow decay and death,
some will end up with new dentures,
many will age beyond lifes normal breath,

How we live our passage and what way,
in relation to time we are but a speck,
so many others want to have a say,
in the end we will all be laid below deck,

You know time is closing when you go to places,
attending those requiems and funeral parlours,
all those who were close you remember their faces,
you just want to hide in sunny harbours,

Life and Age is a process due,
many will enjoy and live life to the full,
in the end we will all wear death knells shoe,
for others we become mankinds cull.

To the humble spirit of my heart,
countless passages of lamented hurt,
shine above the past to make a new start,
clear the vessels and make a fresh spurt,

Shadows in the mind often linger,
decadent worries of the past,
still you show that accusatory finger,
spectre of jealousies always cast,

Mind and feelings twisted in turmoil,
serenity and peace need to abound,
dragging the past and excuses for your foil,
having to bury myself so as not to be found,

One cannot control what you cannot see,
I have no ill feelings of what has gone,
still the shadows of past pester me,
regrets a few but mostly have none,

Is ones soul crushed and deflated,
pounded by bitterness left to despair,
only my demise would make you elated,
but the spirit of my heart has given me air.

The reflection of my eye leads to the back of my mind,
emotions and feelings compartmentized here,
the love for you in which I did find,
those doors are finally closed, I no longer shed a tear,

My heart is but a living tissue enshrined by the body of me,
beating and throbbing to the tune of life,
blood flowing through the veins to nourish thee,
it has felt the pain and hurt through all the strife,

When one loves it is fed by you, my true desire,
all parts of the body become embroiled,
mind, feelings and emotions all on fire,
this love is pure never sullied or soiled,

Those highs of love no longer flow,
every part of me is now gently soothing,
those feelings of love seem so long ago,
my heart now awaits a new blooming.

As a woman I have never seen such passion,
your animated from head to toe,
it is cute in some sort of fashion,
but realistically something has to go,

Every four years you become this way,
swearing allegiance and devotion to a team,
how I wish you could do this for me from day to day,
true love is not really what is seen,

This game has a pattern and certain rules,
so now I am adding some to this life of ours,
we too can have some very silky moves,
a bit like golf with bogeys and pars,

I will consider a prize for a successful win,
penalties can be harsh if they lose,
you may be allowed to take this chassis for a spin,
one full week forfeiture of booze,

If by chance the teams just draw,
no recriminations or analysis of game,
then you will get a smile and nothing more,
too much overkill could drive me insane,

During the weeks I will try to do my best,
persevering with lots of smiles and love,
praying the group stages fail like all the rest,
with a wicked smile my hands will hold you like a glove.

The time is right to now look through,
the closed doors of my mind and heart,
to consider all those profiles anew,
deciding with whom one could make a new start,

Those who know me have heard and read my pain,
many troubled times and heartbreak too,
what I wrote was how I felt and not to seek any fame,
so very hard to find someone who could be true,

The fire and passion no longer within,
dormant love waiting for someone new,
enabling the words to make my poetry spin,
only lost love had made my world so very blue,

So I cry out to whoever is above,
help me through this passing phase,
show me the way to find my true love,
my mind and heart is no longer in a haze.

When we first met up we all laughed and joked,
different accents and funny talks,
drunken nights where many choked,
after all the training we learnt to walk,

Those early days were so much fun,
bonds of friendship amongst us made,
for others first time to fire a gun,
some of us even learnt a trade,

Basic training now over and done,
shipped out to different battalions,
fitness and stamina we were born to run,
we felt like men, we were stallions,

Eighteen and full of pride,
new friendships again to trade,
differences were always set aside,
this was the way we were made,

Skills honed in ways to kill,
this became our bread and butter,
always on the move no time to be still,
in our crowd we had the joker and the odd nutter,

Across the seas we were sent,
we knew the risks, we were on the same side,
no mansions or rooms if lucky just a tent,
in our minds the time to kill was for us to decide,

Those first metal tags hanging round your neck,
name, number, religion and blood group too,
embedded details for your kin, what the heck,
scary details of you, but only for others to view,

On a different shore but still part of the homeland,
reinforcing the police patrols to keep the peace,
it was our job being there we had to make a stand,
keeping your head down on those missiles release,

Petrol bombed and shots in the dark,
given a set of cards for rules to fire,
you never forget the sound of that rifles bark,
when you see someone fall and lie very still you know its dire,

Many years of this futile intense,
political wrangling eventually cleared this mess,
for those who lived in those times nothing made sense,
memories cruel and kind made you who you are nonetheless.

So many hours of looking for you,
trying those sites local to me,
rejections process leaves one blue,
feeling humiliated when sarcasm is free,

Too many players and freebooters too,
scammers, whingers and liars reveal,
false projections of others view,
teasing and testing feelings real,

A persons value of emotions and heart,
are not considered in this webs game,
online love has many a false start,
leaving one hopeless and feeling shame,


This loves dinosaur that time forgot,
lined with age and experience of life,
has had enough of false loves plot,
no longer looking for that partner or wife.

Collective thoughts in my mind,
wondering about this future life,
appreciating the laughter in others I find,
do I really need another wife,

Thinking out loud and saying my piece,
restless at times and feeling so alone,
time ticking along lifes walking feet,
persevering like a dog gnawing a bone,

A meandering mind jumping here and there,
nothing solid to hold the ground,
wondering if anything is really fair,
always listening to that empty sound,

your minds wheels always turning,
even when trying to fall asleep,
synaptic nerves forever churning,
looking for meaning and something deep,

Rational thoughts seem to disappear,
traversing through your own life span,
recollections of all the things you fear,
what to do and if I can,

Eventually the madness settles the mood,
its why someone close can be your friend,
looking for that piece of the puzzle in lifes food,
having that person will help you to mend.