Stedan Poetry (135)

I was young, naive, I had no sense,
meeting in private rooms this idol,
the attention was so intense,
all my emotions and feelings were tidal,

Their eyes looked at me with glazing stare,
sweet talking and fast moving hands,
telling me that as a fan, how much they care,
it was the same with some of those bands,

When I said thats not the place to touch,
they laughed and smiled thats ok dear,
trying not to offend them too much,
were just being very friendly here,

Leaving and being given some gift,
something told me that things had not been right,
who could I turn to without causing a rift,
Alone in bed and cried my eyes out that night,

Next day I had a word with Mum,
the horror on her face at what was said,
we will go to the police and see what can be done,
my nerves had gone and I was shaking with dread,

A statement was taken at the station,
questioning eyes and fearful words,
you realise your accusing a star of the nation,
their intimidation made me really scared,

I was nervous I know but really tried,
a cursory check with the star an alibi ensued,
words and spite came back to say I lied,
tears spun hard and shame at being used,

Now decades on the story is clear,
pandoras box is opened and secrets are out,
I no longer have to hide my shame and fear,
my story has been revealed and now has more clout,

But to have all those tears and sadness within,
now being told I was not only used,
I have been told it was not I who had committed a sin,
As a child I had been maliciously abused.

Drifting my eyes across the countless profiles,
Hidden shadows of some pretending to be aloof,
Old photographs depicting once a beauty, little white lies,
Most of us just want to touch a little truth,

For whatever reason we are looking in here,
Trying to find a piece of our personality jigsaw,
Heartaches are long gone, we have shed that final tear,
Perfection can never be found all have a little flaw,

Written words to say I am looking,
Must be solvent, professional and dreamy,
Please wait a moment I check diary so you can get a booking,
Imagination has spiralled is this a place that can get steamy,

Scammers, cheats, liars and time wasters abound,
Wondering just why sometimes I persevere,
Because hope in your heart is still to be found,
And maybe? Just maybe she may be here,

Whether they be rich, poor or just mediocre,
Materialistic and vain, large or just slender,
Wanting more children? This could be a choker,
dont` drink much but that would put me on a bender,

So lookers just think of that person as you,
They have feelings and future dreams,
Dont` be condescending or make them blue,
Sometimes it is not all as it seems,

Most of us have had broken hearts,
Felt that heart spring snap,
Looking like you for fresh starts,
Relationships and Love needs to build up it is not on tap.

It was a long time ago when we first met,
I was young and maybe a little silly too,
you was slightly older and boy did I want to connect,
years have passed and chance has given us a new view,

So here I am a lot more mature,
you still have that look and style,
I know what am looking for thats for sure,
looking at you certainly gives me that smile,

Words and messages we now pass on daily basis too,
you vaguely remember who I am,
I for sure could never forget you,
no longer the boy but now am a man,

Time and distance has kept us apart,
memories of you in my mind did linger,
its a new year lets try and make a start,
I can serenade you am a bit of a singer,

I will be sincere and true for you,
you just be who you really are,
together we might just find something true,
between us the distance is no longer that far,

Something in the stars has decided this fate,
coming soon nearer to see me,
I look forward to this our first date,
we will take it slowly and see how things be.

If I held you within my arm,
would my breathing be sedate or heavy,
seeing that smile upon your face, such open charm,
my heart is full of love and will pay the levy,

Watching your eyes sparkle and gleam,
to feel your lips brush mine,
intoxicating scent evaporates in steam,
your presence erodes all of time,

Close to you is all I desire,
hearing your soft voice whisper silly things,
such pleasure I could never tire,
jointly our hearts synchronise as love sings,

Memories of love abound,
shadows from the past linger,
silently now the doors close without a sound,
and it is only my heart that is left to be the singer.

Its been well over a year now and snow yellowed,
hanging around this hallowed poetry hall,
time has flown and heartaches mellowed,
seen many loves rise and suddenly fall,

Yet we each all know our own pain,
Have watched with apprehension and joy,
looking at how others from ones strength gain,
from written words which we all employ,

From Candys` melodic chimes of feeling,
Poetnumber1 drawing the picture narrative,
Darkhorse looking to render loves healing,
Lyndsey her gentleness and worldly views pallative,

So many poets of distinction who share,
so lets all take that step back and smile,
to know that within each phrase we care,
put the love back into the world thats worthwhile.

Connecting Singles is like a Xmas tree,
So many filled with glitter and gold,
plenty of variety and all of it free,
But not many of the bangles are ever sold,

At the very top we have our daring Queen,
Priceless with glittering love of power,
This resplendent princess with gowns of sheen,
Make many a man needing to take that cold shower,

The next lower echelon holds the key,
So many baubles worn but still they shine,
They know of love and sadness that be,
Get the right match and they could be forever thine,

The broadest branches hold the most,
lots of crackers and tinseled twine,
They hang about like the Holy Ghost,
perpetually stuck as if committed a crime.

Now below this great host at the base of the tree,
Lots of pressies with pretty little bows,
Are little parcels of joy just like me,
For when in true loves arms hearts light certainly glows.

The days draw nearer in shadows,
shafts of sunlight slowly fade away,
coldness creeps in like the gallows,
stillness of sound, no children at play,

Skies with blurry clouds of gray,
biting winds with the chill factor,
damp and cold in bones find there way,
sniffles and grunts not much laughter,

Eyes sting and gently weep,
frost shows its morning dew,
trickling flakes of snow will grow deep,
not many venture out just a few,

Crinkled skin and dry lips,
life is for all to keep living,
taking hot drinks with gentle sips,
for many around it is now Thanksgiving.

Drifting along with souless passion,
lacking the will or thought to even pray,
with the cold can now see the latest fashion,
wondering who will be my heartbeats play,

Silent tunes hum in my mindless thoughts,
music can send me on that prairie trail,
long play, short play record of soughts,
tender hearts that beat so frail,

Love once held me solid and still,
wandering mind now leads me astray,
losing ones love can be a bitter pill,
treading my footsteps through another day,

Motionless of love in heartbeats time,
my physical presence tells me am still here,
no one near to say sweet love of mine,
drifting along in old age is another fear,

Each passing day calls me to strive,
seeking company in any crowded room,
tell myself old I am but am still alive,
I am not yet ready for the quiet lonely tomb.

Across the room shadows move in daylights time,
peaceful and quiet life has become,
mind and heart still searching for that sign,
no one near to hold my hand or call me hun,

Crystalised memories of loving times,
squandered chances of happier days,
loving words penned along those lines,
pendulum heart with its many sways,

Ageless love was it meant to be,
passionate moments of lustful sin,
many years have shaped this man of me,
caressed lips of love now so very thin,

Time wearies all as we grow old,
kiss of life so tenderly it began,
many heartbeats of loves story told,
Yes, Ageless love is in all our life span.

Once upon a time I had a love to share,
I still recall the sweet smell of your scent,
you always said you wanted someone to care,
I never lied to you and my loving you was my intent,

To feel the pulse of love trembling on your skin,
to caress and hold you so close to me,
the kaliedoscope of colours you gave to me within,
how was I to know all was not to be,

How my heart ached when you went away,
such fire of passion created within my hearts spark,
I really loved the twinkle of your eyes play,
all thats left now is this icy cold dark,

Memories of looking at your face,
eyes of green with a glistening dew,
the way you moved, oh so much grace,
my love was yours, it was just for you,

The fairy tale of romance that shook us alive,
we sprinted along that golden path,
those sweet lips and precious smile,
and how you had such a throaty laugh,

Gone now are those heady days,
it has been a very long time since our last embrace,
I thank you at least for loves short stay,
even in my dreams my fingertips of your face do trace.

Anxious moments to fill my day,
desperation and feeling rises within,
do I really care what other people say,
so many times head in a spin,

Crying out into the world of fear,
drifting mindlessly in fictitious pain,
how does one make things clear,
honestly, really I am not insane,

Depression they say can be manic,
just be good and take your meds,
can you not see how much I panic,
alone, solitary with emotions one dreads,

Above my head rests that heavy stone,
no longer carrying the burdens of life,
deep and quiet here all alone,
no more pain or anger, no more strife.

A smile from one to another,
no hidden agenda or false hope,
a show of liking what you see, is no bother,
enables another with lifes struggle to cope,

That glimpse of a shining smile,
when you receive, it lifts your day,
makes you feel like you have run a mile,
just a smile, no words to say,

Come on let us all smile use those muscles,
show the world that we can care,
a frown will only show ones tussles,
so a pretty smile to me and I too will share.