breadcrumb Lukeon Blog

Mutton on the Menu

This really happens a lot.




Prosperous 2017
Post Comment

Away From Home

Whenever I have been away from South Africa (home) over the festive season it really sucked big time for me, be it for work or any other reason. In my case it was mostly for work. Does not matter who is with you or for whatever reason you have left your home country.

Most times I dealt with the inner feeling of sadness by getting motherless and/or sometimes just looking for trouble.sigh

Im just thinking about all the millions of refugees and fugitives that have not directly chosen to leave their own countries but have been forced to.

There is a huge amount of sadness going on in the world at this time of year.

Have you ever been in a similar situation?

Hope you have a great week ahead.

I have searched for the most depressing festive song in the world and came up with this.

Enjoylaugh

Post Comment

Wisdom

A slightly pissed stranger was seated next to Little Johnny on the plane when the stranger turned to the Little Johnny and said, "Let's talk. I've heard that flights will go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger."

Little Johnny, who had just opened his book, closed it slowly, and said to the stranger, "What would you like to discuss?"

"Oh, I don't know," said the stranger. "How about cars, all guys like cars, yes?"

"OK," said Little Johnny. "That could be an interesting topic. But let me ask you a question first. "A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat grass. The same stuff. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?"

"Jeez," said the stranger. "I have no idea." dunno

"Well, then," said Little Johnny, "How is it that you feel qualified to discuss Automobiles when you don't know shit?"laugh
Post Comment

My Parents.....

Embedded image from another site


And respect for MYSELF.


Embedded image from another site



Embedded image from another site



One day old man Stumpy and his wife Martha went to the Illinois State Fair. There is this man selling plane rides in his single prop show plane for $10 per person. Stumpy looks to Martha and says, "Martha, I think I really should try that." Martha replies, "I know you want to Stumpy, but we have a lot of bills, and you know the money is tight, and $10 is $10." So Stumpy goes without. Over the next few years they return every year, and the same thing, Stumpy wants to ride, but Martha says no money.

Finally, when Stumpy and Martha are both about 70 years old, Stumpy looks to Martha, and says, "Martha, I'm 70 now, and I don't know if I'll ever get the chance again, so I just have to have a ride in that there airplane." Martha replies in the same old fashion, and Stumpy kind of slumps down. The pilot is standing near by and overhears the conversation...

The pilot pipes up, "Excuse me folks, I couldn't help but hear your situation, and I have a deal for you. I'll take both of you up together, and if you can both make the entire trip without saying a word, or even making the slightest sound, I'll give the ride for free. But if either of you make a sound, its $10 each." Well, Martha and Stumpy look at each other, and agree to take the ride.

The pilot takes them up, and starts to do loop de loops, twists, dives, climbs and spins. No sound. The pilot lands the plane, looks back at Stumpy and says, "Sir, I have to hand it to ya, you didn't make even the slightest sound and that was my best stuff." Stumpy looks back at the pilot and says, "Well, I was gonna say something when Martha fell out, but $10 is $10!"

Its Friday, have a great weekend.applause
Post Comment

Its Friday....

Whats the height of being intoxicated?
When you walk across the dance floor to buy another drink and you win the Singles Dance Competition..
Embedded image from another site

You hear about the drunk catholic sitting in the confessional?
After a long silence the priest taps the divider to catch the attention of the guy.
"you're knocking for nothing, no toilet paper here either"



One day a farmer walks into a general dealer and buys a heavy Anvil, tin bucket, two chickens and a goose. The farmer stares at all his purchases and mutters. " "I wonder how i'm going to carry all this seeing that I walked into town." Some (SA farmers) are not too bright.
Not wanting to lose the sale, the Dealer sez, "Put the anvil in the bucket, one chicken under each arm and carry the goose in you other hand." It works out perfectly and off goes the farmer humming a tune....
A little way down the road a very prim and proper lady stops the farmer and asks " Could you please tell me where upper road is?" "Its not far" sez the farmer, "come and I'll show you a shortcut and you will be there in no time"
The petite lady clutches her chest in dismay and say: "I am just a lonely widow that has lost her husband a long time ago, so how will i K now that you won't abuse me in the ally?" The farmer is taken aback and says:
"Good Lord lady, how on earth could i do that with all my stuff in my hands, look at my load, are you crazy?"
She replies: "Easy. Put the goose down and cover it with the bucket with the anvil on top to keep it it place.... and I will hold on to the two chickens"devil

Enjoy the weekend. And dont win too many single competitions...laugh
Embedded image from another site
Post Comment

Yesterday




















Post Comment

Imagine using the toilet and ......

you feel something below you....rolling on the floor laughing



Immediate first aid will be to find someone to suck the poison out....conversing





.
.
Embedded image from another site

.
Embedded image from another site
Post Comment

Who Does It?

When me prayers where poorly said
Who tucked me in my widdle bed
And spanked me till my arse was red
Me Mudder

Who took me from my cosy cot
And put me on an ice cold pot
And made me pee, if I could not
Me Mudder

And when the morning light did come
And in my crib I did dribble some
Who wipe me tiny little bum
Me Mudder

Who would me hair so neatly part
And hug me gently to her heart
Who squeeze me till I fart
Me Mudder

Who looked at me with eyebrow knit
And nearly had a king-size fit
When in me Sunday pants me shit
Me Mudder

When at night her bed did squeak
Me raised me head to have a peek
Who yelled at me to go to sleep?
Me Fuddercool grin

Author Unknown to me Fudder.

Goodnight now Im off to bed to listen to me Fudder...yawn
Post Comment

George Soros

Who is this guy really and is it true that he is the 'puppet master' in politics in the USA?dunno confused

If its true why not bring him to book?

My knowledge of USA politics is so to say zero, I only go on what I hear and read.help
Post Comment

Rugby

Anyone going to watch Boks vs. Barbarians that will start in a few minutes at Wembley?
Post Comment

Thanks LJ

This is just to set the record straight concerning the blog of 2013.professor

I have never been 'insecure' in my whole life.

1 or 2 posters actually saw the blog in the true intent of lightheartedness.

It was a Tongue in Cheek blog.

But in any case I wish to thank each and everyone who responded nearly 4 years down the line. You are forgivenrolling on the floor laughing

I really had a good laugh so thanks again LJ bouquet for pointing me in the right direction.


laugh
Post Comment

Recognise this lady?

In one month it will be Emma Morano's birthday. Though she hasn't invited anyone,

Embedded image from another site




"I'm 116 years and on 27 November, I'll be 117," this alert and chatty lady tells AFP in her room in Verbania, a town in northern Italy on Lake Maggiore.



And all thanks to:

"I eat two eggs a day, and that's it. And cookies. But I do not eat much because I have no teeth," she says.





Embedded image from another site


Anyway I dont want to live that long in any case...laugh

Post Comment

This is a list of Lukeon's Blogs. Click here for Lukeon's Blog List

We use cookies to ensure that you have the best experience possible on our website. Read Our Privacy Policy Here