This is becoming an obsession with me as I get older, because my friends are getting forgetful, I’ll mention a shared experience and they look blank. Then the puzzled look clears and they remember. Or music, or a smell, will suddenly bring back a memory that had lain in darkness for 20 years, as fresh as if it just happened, and it’s a slight shock to realize it had been awol.
They say keep a diary and one day it will keep you. Maybe you need to get famous first, but I’m happy just to have a memory backup. I don’t keep a diary, but I write long emails to several people in my life, some of them on a daily basis. Every now and then I dip back into emails from 2 or even 10 years ago to see if the memory ganglions are still working. So far so good.
I’ve got worse / better / more boring, however you want to look at it, since the day I was looking at a shrub in my garden and couldn’t remember its name. They are common all over the world, I have known them all my life, and I couldn’t think of the name. Looked on the internet and up came the word hydrangea. Well, I thought, they must be known as something else as well because I have never heard that name before.
They aren’t. Yikes.
My emails are becoming detailed to the point of obsessive
Scotland has officially outdone itself on this morning's weather.
I stood at the back door having my morning cig and coffee and looking at (a) blue sky (b) some grey-brown cloud (c) a rainbow while being spattered with rain.
We do boast about having all four seasons every day but at the same time is pretty good.
Morning all
what's your weather right now, this morning, as you read this blog?
We've all experienced upheaval and reversals, I think. When we get married, we assume it will be forever. When we get a good job with a stable company, well, we no longer assume it will be until retirement, but we do think there’s a good few years in it. Even the small stuff - when we go to the shops, we assume they will have the products we want. We’re annoyed when they don’t, and yet millions live without shops and without even the basics we take for granted. Other people. We’re alright, Jack.
Life isn’t straightforward. We’re shocked when terrorists blast into everyday lives and end or disrupt them, but even normal life can change in a heartbeat with just one letter from the doctor. Someone can die in a car accident, or lose a leg in a fun outing to an amusement park, or be shot at an office party, and we suddenly realize life is not just one foot in front of the other and that if we follow the rules everything will be okay.
When life shows its teeth, priorities change. Things that mattered suddenly seem unimportant. Things on the to-do list change their order, sometimes dramatically. When tomorrow is no longer a given, does it change what do you intend to do with today? Would it / should it?
Pharmacist to customer: "Sir, please understand, to buy an anti-depression pill you need a proper prescription. Simply showing marriage certificate and wife's picture is not enough".
A bookseller conducting a market survey asked a woman – "Which book has helped you most in your life?"
The woman replied – "My husband's cheque book"
A prospective husband in a book store "Do you have a book called,'Husband – the Master of the House'?
Sales Girl : "Fiction and Comics are on the 1st floor".
Someone asked an old man: "Even after 70 years, you still call your wife – darling, honey, luv. What's the secret?"
Old man: "I forgot her name and I'm scared to ask her
Husband to wife – "Today is a fine day."
Next day he says: "Today is a fine day."
Again next day, he says same thing – "Today is a fine day."
Finally, after a week, the wife can't take it and asks her husband – "Since last week, you have been saying ; Today is a fine day. I am fed up. What's the matter?"
Husband : "Last week when we had an argument, you said, I will leave you one fine day. I was just trying to remind you."
I’m seeing a man who is straight as a die and has a personality built on rock. We occasionally do not see eye to eye, which is quite a shock, because my best male buddy is a chameleon. You know the type I mean? expert at being the person you want them to be.
Are chameleons bad? No. They are fun, sympathetic, empathetic, in tune with you, because you ARE the tune. The stronger your personality, the more they will align with you.
Are they cruel and deliberately deceitful? No. They don't do it on purpose, they can't help it. Their attraction to you is real, they like the person you make them become.
Are they trustworthy? Duh, no. When they get tired of the tune, or find an easier one, or feel too pressured by the personality you have given them, they will vanish.
Do you walk away? It is hard to walk away from someone who suits you so perfectly.
So - enjoy the friendship, why not? You’ve made friends with yourself, you know. Just take advice from Auntie Elegsabiff, don't fall in love, as it could hurt deeply when it ends, who wants to be rejected by themselves?? (You haven't been. Re-read)
Think of it rather as finding out you really do like yourself and you enjoy your company very much. Looked at that way, it isn’t altogether a bad thing. Just a bit – unreal.
And look for real friends. They're much harder work, mind you
"For a long time it had seemed to me that life was about to begin - real life. But there was always some obstacle in the way, something to be gotten through first, some unfinished business, time still to be served, or a debt to be paid. Then life would begin. At last it dawned on me that these obstacles were my life."
This perspective has helped me to see that there is no way to happiness. Happiness is the way.
So, treasure every moment that you have and treasure it more because you shared it with someone special, special enough to spend your time...and remember that time waits for no one.
So, stop waiting until you lose ten pounds, until you gain ten pounds, until you have kids, until your kids leave the house, until you start work, until you retire, until you get married, until you get divorced, until Friday night, until Sunday morning, until you get a new car or home, until your car or home is paid off, until spring, until summer, until winter, until your song comes on, until you've had a drink.... there is no better time than right now to be happy.
Happiness is a journey, not a destination.
Work like you don't need money,
Love like you've never been hurt,
And dance like no one's watching."
Alfred D Souza
Go for it. You pays your money and you takes your choice.
Perfect world, not a single comment - but then there are so many other blogs catering to your needs, there don't need to be comments on this one. Don't make any.
This is possibly one of those blogs where the women who need to know already do, and the women who don't know no longer need to.
One moment, please, while we just wait for the men to leave? Love you lots but this is girl-talk.
Okay, the soft cup. This handy invention not only replaces tampons (hey! I told you guys to leave!) but is healthier, eco-friendly, washable and, therefore, cheaper in the long run. It also allows your sex-life to continue without missing a beat.
Not so handy for the woman who turns into a tigress and would as soon knock a man flying as let him anywhere near her at this particular time, but some women rather enjoy being temporarily more curvy and are a little regretful that nothing can be done about it.
I'd never heard of it until tonight, but then I'm usually a little behind the times. I did wonder if everyone else who could use this information already knew.
So I blogged about it. Google it. No links from me.
You're welcome.
I think I might be offended. Got the following text from a friend I have dated in the past.
I have a date!
With a woman!
A real woman!
Who doesn't seem completely bonkers! Well, of course I congratulated him but - um? I did text back that I was struggling to find a compliment for myself in there. He changed the subject.
I'm not sure staying friends is ALWAYS a good idea.
I LOVE snow. Perfect world, deep and crisp and even, and under a blue sky. We don’t get many days like that in Scotland but they are worth the wait. I went to bed hoping, because the forecast was snow over most of the country.
No snow this far south. Boo. Still, plans for the day were to go out for a hack and the weather was cold but beautiful. I dressed warmly, several layers, to meet host for the day. We drove quite a long way, with me squeaking excitedly as the white stuff started appearing, and wishing he would stop the jeep and let me out to romp.
(photograph removed)
Turned out, destination wasn’t horses. It was a national park. Covered in snow, not very deep, but crisp and even and under a blue sky.
Second childhood kicked in with a vengeance. I haven’t laughed so much in years, literally falling over at one point because I couldn’t stand up any more. My fiendish frenemy made absolutely no concessions to my snow-free upbringing and fired snowball after snowball until I finally got the knack of making and throwing the damn things properly and started getting my own back.
Peace treaty was signed over a thermos of hot soup and defrosting completed at a pub with roaring fires, hot chocolate and cream cakes.
I won’t be able to
move tomorrow, but it was the best day. Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow!
I've seen blogs and comments on romance - candlelit dinners, spontaneous gifts, trips away. They always sound expensive.
I looked at recent blogs to find romantic examples and oh dear we have all been a bit anti romance lately, haven't we? The only one I spotted was a holiday fling on the very very cheap. Whatever rocks your boat, of course, and a budget bonk is probably just as romantic as being wined, dined and treated as precious, but that's the thing, why should it all be about spending a lot to sound fun?
Romance CAN be a walk along the beach in moonlight.
It CAN be reaching through thorns to pick and present a perfect rose.
Romance can be learning your loved one's language privately to surprise him or her with a fluent message of love.
Romance on CS can be changing your search details so they only fit one person - and waiting for her to notice.
So here's a challenge to you - let's bring some romance back into this dating site. Something catch-your-breath romantic you've had happen to you, or heard about, or wish would happen - at little or no cost? Can we do it?
Picture it: a beautiful deserted island in the middle of nowhere, two men and a woman are shipwrecked. A month passes. Now apply stereotypes (add any not already included)
If all were Italian - one man has killed the other to have the woman.
If all were French - an enjoyable ménage-à-trois.
If all were German - the two men have built the woman a snug little house, and have a rota of alternating visits to her.
If all were Greek - the men are together, and the woman is cleaning and cooking for them.
If all were Bulgarian, the men took one long look at the endless ocean, another long look at the Bulgarian woman, and started swimming.
All three Japanese have faxed Tokyo, and are awaiting instructions.
The two Chinese men have set up a pharmacy, a liquor store, a restaurant and a laundry, and have got the woman pregnant in order to supply employees for their stores.
The two Australian men are contemplating suicide because the Australian woman keeps complaining about her body, the true nature of feminism, how she can do everything they can do, the necessity of fulfilment, the equal division of household chores, how sand and palm trees make her look fat, how her last boyfriend respected her opinion and treated her nicer than they do, how her relationship with her mother is improving, and how at least the taxes are low and it isn't raining.
The two Irish men have divided the island into North and South and have set up a distillery. They do not remember if sex is in the picture because it gets sort of foggy after the first few litres of coconut whisky. But they're satisfied because at least the English aren't having any fun.
The two English men are waiting for someone to introduce them to the English woman.
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