Automotive Blogs (377)

My mind is still blown that I got this job. It was the easiest employment attempt that I've ever done. They treated me like I was hired before I was hired. The manager called me "sharp" lol.

I took a drive today and looked at all the car lots and thought, "jeez, I'll be working at one of the best looking. No rinkydink used cars". This place is primo. And the cars are sooo beautiful. I mean, if you can't find a hot person to paint, why not a car? Like I told mom, it's easier to paint an attractive person. I would think it's easier to sell an attractive car.

So, tomorrow I have to drive to Harrisburg in a company car. Weee and because I always get lost, I'll see more of Harrisburg than most people.

By my own decision. Sure, I'll get my gas shut off soon and be bathing by coffeemaker. At my age and with my experience, I couldn't step foot in that place again. It might have been due to the very overt s*xual harassment or the mean girl. I lean toward the mean girl that spread the rumor that I was being fired.

Do you know how hard it is to show up and act like everythings fine while co-workers are telling me I'm being let go at an unknown date? The two faced b*tch. And then being told about how good my a** looks while I use the copy machine. It made it so I didn't want to make copies.

So, I'm looking to get another job.

Why didn't I complain about the harassment? The man is in his 70's and needs his job. I'm more of a flight risk than a fight risk.

A strong cup of black coffee, a cigarette and the film Deliverance. Add a faux fur blanket and my fancy balls, bliss.

Should women be allowed to back up into your home topless drinking Kombucha?

It's not everyone's taste but I hung my drapes with balls.

That was a line out of a movie. I thought about that a good while. So, I began to think, what can I do to feel good? Then, with baby steps, I began to get my house in order. I've lived here for 5 years but with all of the drama, I never had the focus to make my house a home. I love my house but it looked like the movers dumped my stuff and left. That's because that's what happend. Lol

So far, I have organized my shoes and clothes. I'm also in the middle of moving furniture where it should go. I have some pieces that are dark wood. I like dark wood but I have poor lighting and the trim is dark so it felt like a cave. Because of this, I painted a chest of drawers and vanity in a happy yellow. I had some turquoise spray paint so I painted a chair and end table. Everything is coming together. I feel so good!

To be continued

She sat in the woven chair
A nest of sorts, she sat, sorting thoughts
Her earrings dangling, casting light back to the sun
He watched her, both contemplating
She, her desire to fly
Him, his desire for her sparkle
He came closer, drawn in by threads of light
She looked up, shielding her eyes
Grand wings, lofty in flight
She became intranced, a statue in the garden
He brushed her cheek with ebony feathers
Before plucking her earring,
That is the sting of love

I opened the window for the first time
And the furnace remained silent
The birds' songs masked by neighbors talking
Children laughing

A party in the park
Balloons smiling and food grilling
While there was running, sliding and swinging
Dare I join in and climb the jungle gym?

With spades and rakes, people groomed
The earth
When was the last time I was groomed
By nurturing hands?

I took him inside of me
Willingly
And now he will always be a part of me

Nothing grew except an experience
Willingly
And now that will always be a part of me

I don't know if I wish for
Amnesia or old memories
For the part that will always be a part of me

I'm conflicted about the idea of getting emotionally involved with at man. There are sacrifices that must be made when one becomes half of a unit. Looking back, I realize that with every partnering, I've had to give up a part of myself. Sure, I just haven't met "the right one", but how many times must I fail?

I have always compartmentalized things to keep things simpler. Two FB pages. Many CS accounts. The work me and the home me. Just so family and co-workers are safe from my real thoughts, the ones that make people uncomfortable. To allow a partner to know all of me is a frightening thought.

So, my conflict is with loneliness and freedom from worry of those I become attached to. Then there's the investment of time and emotions that make me want to continue with relationship that clearly wasn't working.

So, today, I'm on the fence for trying it again. Im prepared to climb off the fence but the fear is overwhelming. Sometimes I'm certain I'm not cut out for it. Then, the selfish, lonely me wants to give it a try.

Conflicted