I work in a retail environment, a department store. I know the atmosphere has changed over time, just as consumer travel has changed.
There was a time when people dressed up to travel and shop. Both activities seemed more prestigious. If you watch any old show or film, the characters were usually dressed impeccably. Men wore hats, women wore hats and gloves. Accessories weren't tacky or dated. There seemed to be an order to things. As if work and home life were stable enough to present ourselves as "together" in more ways than one.
I am sitting in a department store that is empty but for the employees and a few customers. There has been a pallor on the face of retail. The coordinated lips and nails are gone. Fancy brooches and rhinestone clip on earrings have been shed. The atmosphere is dull except for the occasional frivolous shopper. Luxury for the mainstream has been substituted with fancy phones and active wear.
Two things have made me contemplate this. One, the possibility of my store closing due to bankruptcy, the second, two films I recently watched again. I usually watch a film I like numerous times, so, I have given thought to the aura of the films, not only the main plot. Tonight, I focus on the characters of both films, "The Danish Girl" and "Carol".
If you haven't seen these films, "The Danish Girl" is about the first man to attempt sex reassignment. "Carol" is the story of a woman acknowledging her sexuality. What on earth could these characters have to do with retail? Only I would make a connection. lol In "The Danish Girl", after living as a female, she takes a job in a department store and she glows with excitement. Her smile is electric. Her supervisor is very respectful and her statement "we are all performers" as if in a great play, to provide the ultimate shopping experience. In "Carol" the female character is shown in the same retail environment, but the experience if far from magical. Her supervisor is a cold, negative character and the position of store clerk is a hair above garbage left blowing across a New York City sidewalk. Is the vast difference because one character wants to fit in and be accepted, accepting the stereotype that goes with it, while the other feels she doesn't fit in, she has other aspirations?
Do we feel like garbage in our jobs because we aren't fulfilled elsewhere? Are we longing to play a role, to have at work what we don't have at home? In the end, I think we all take on roles in order to survive.
"we are all performers".
I joined a writing website to post my work. Unlike here, one must comment on other people’s work before posting. I’m new to the site and don’t know anyone.
Well, my compliment got me a compliment on my work. I thanked the person and a short interaction occurred.
A few minutes later I got a message asking how long I’ve known John. I said I don’t know a John. The person good naturedly told me she appreciated my discretion. I repeated several times that I don’t know a John. This person informed me that John’s girlfriend is a very jealous type and warned me. Sigh. So I stressed that I honestly don’t know this John person so there is nothing to be concerned about.
Jeez, I don’t even feel like commenting if jealous people think I’m after their man. Like, hell no!
That’s life with a bunch of faceless profiles.
Even old people get their hearts broken.
The hurt seems to remain as severe as when I was in my twenties
So, I make the assumption that love is no different.
So, since I am shameless, I shall update you on my recreational sex interest.
I have transitioned to confidant/wing man
To be continued in comments
I need to formulate my thoughts on this
Nine years I’ve known some of the characters here.
I recovered my old email and read things I posted in 2009.
I noticed, my life hasn’t changed that much. The same issues have stayed with me these 9 years. I suspect things will be as unchanged 9 years from today.
The upside is, I made it this far. I should survive the next 9 years.
He sat in the recliner, pretending to read a magazine
His eyes peering over glossy pages
Watching a feminine figure, dusting
She bent down to polish a leg
His eyes followed, her toes to tail
Her bare behind peering under
Black uniform and old lace
The feminine figure moved to the mirror
While pretending to polish, she watched him watching
Later in the evening, the feminine figure leaned into him and delivered
Her gloved hand to his nether regions
Her breasts, embraced by old lace
People wonder why they don’t meet anyone.
Maybe if you wrote to someone within a days drive...read and understand the bio...read and understand the “ideal match” section.
I have tried being honest, only here for the blogs. That didn’t work I wrote “I’m a selfish snot”. That didn’t work. Then I wrote “not looking for crazy”. That didn’t work. Then I wrote “I’m bad news” and I’m getting tons of mail from Ireland.
The earth is flat
Although I write a lot, some things get placed in a locked room. I don’t like to go in there. Today, the door is ajar with unwelcome feelings leaking out I guess it’s a day to address them.
In case your Love battery is a little low
You know that feeling...when an attractive person reminds you that you are an animal?
Your body has a mind of its own?
You are no longer boss
You feel renewed at the view
A tender sapling or rugged wood
A sweet flower or vintage rose
The scent is sweet
You know the stirring of desire
When reality takes a smoke break and one can imagine
What can happen, and all sins are well washed
You know the feelings, of a feverish life threatening desire that shortens the breath and lengthens want
While other wants cry out for mercy
You know the feeling, when desire is reciprocated
The fever passes, between a union
A bounty to be satisfied
You know the feeling
Before the jump
The heart slamming to get attention
As the body receives attention
He bought her a catsuit
He saw it while looking
Something high-tinsel spandex
A real Wonder f*cking Woman
The man in the unassuming dress reached into his pocket
He fumbled
Thinking about the catsuit