my mom

my mom was one of the biggest biches on earth but i think i now respect her. life after death is very revealing. no comments necessary. rest in blankets perfumed with sage...advice. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
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Comments (30)

Mums/Moms the word. I remember a while back when you posted about your 'mums' zzzzzz.

You're a rebel Crypto. I don't claim to know anything about you. The truth is, I wouldn't know you from a bar of soap and visa versa but I'll say this. You're the most giving person on CS. You share certain aspects of your life. You make mundane things less mundane.

You're kryptonite.


Forgive my Sunday afternoon escapes
That ^^^^^^^ was very nice. I agree she's cool!!
awww, i love cs for folks like all you
just watched.
Peeky boo, I can see you.

Honestly, I'm not stalking you (as I draw my curtains wide with binoculars)

I'm probably coming across as a numbnut. I am a numbnut BTW but in my neck of the woods, it's allowed. I'm like the Clydesdale that brings in refreshments for stir crazy stirrups.

You are awesome. You're anxiety? I remember your posts about driving which is ironic being the sales lady you are.

Isn't it ironic, don't you think?

you make me blush. i'm not into flattery. i think i'd engage more if you were an a**. that's wrong but true. stay sweet
Life's a bed of roses, watch out for the pricks rose
"stay sweet"?????

I have flavoured condoms. I've been collecting them for ages.

Yeah, yeah, yeah as you bite the pillow.........I challenge you to a duel. My pistil vs your stamen.

It's all fun and games until Moby dik broaches for air.
i hope your condoms aren't all dried out. i prefer barebeck if you're clean.
My condoms are hanging on the clothes line as we speak. No half measures, no sir ree.

I tried using my spare tyre/tire but my girth was well and truly spent. I even tried pumping up my bike tyre/tire but the scent of rubber was not only nauseating, it was a reminiscent of days of old.

My strawberry flavoured condoms are heavens sent. They're rather flavoursome......but, having said that, I'm a strong advocate of au naturel.
my body likes flesh over a shield. the action is a reaction to lust
tbh, this is weird on a mom blog.
she loved her roses
i grow roses
they're very robust
Speaking of covid, which no one did but anyways. I wear a mask. Word on the street is that you've had the jab. Wait, wait, wait until the kiwi jab is jabing left, right centre. It's a win, win situation.

Not only do we walk around naked during these trying times.......we swing as well. Well, not really but it sounded good non the less. I wish it was true but it's not. I'd love to mix spit, car keys in your saucer though.

Too much info? Not really

motorcycle
You're right. 100% weird

You're Mom. I feel like a shit head at times barging in with stupid nonsense.

You're mums not a b*tch. I wouldn't have the foggiest about your mum. Only you do but she obviously meant, means something to you. Otherwise you wouldn't have written this post

hug
My silly comments are silly. You give so much of yourself Crypt. Regarding your Mum.

I've probably mentioned this before but I have 2 brothers and 2 sisters, I'm the youngest. My father brought us up when I was 3. I know nothing else. What I do know though is my Mum had her reasons as most Mums do.

Different age and different era. In NZ during the 70's, it was usual practice for women to take custody of their kids but for whatever reason (I still don't know why), my mother went into a mental meltdown.

Mums are awesome

My mother is in her seventies now and she still sends me birthday cards.

Crypt

Nobody loves you like your mom. She's your best friend, your most honest critic, and your biggest fan all rolled into oneheart beating
Missing my momsad flower
Ysa, between mom and i was a revolution of an evolution.
That's all fine and dandy but what came first? The chicken or the egg?

Mic drop, suck, sieve or pleasant niceness.


Apparently, not that I'd know but according to my sources, sweetness almost tastes like chicken.

Do you taste like chicken as the crow fly's? The c*ck is panting. The crow is departing......and yet............and yet nothing but rigid softness with a scorpion tail devouring my tender loins.........subtle, SWEET but foreboding from a distant shore.

You do it, and you know it. I'd love your shores to lap me up. It's not "sweet", it's passion, rough, subtle, caressing but you bring out the worst and perhaps best in people.

Just be YOU

lips
I'm just talking nonsense again, I'm a wall flower. I've got no idea why I post dumb kiwi songs. I'm repetitious....I'm repetitious....I'm repetitious.

Why the fark does this sound like a job interview?

I just like you. s*xual endo's whatever are one thing but you talk sense. It's not just your poetry.........it's your way.

You're a naughty girl but you're also accepting. Free yet closed, open yet closed. loud yet quiet.......


You're different but very similar.

My apologies if I post this song again......and again....and again but puncho won't matter and nor will your tender fingers.

WE ARE ONE lips

Then that must make you the really nice one, earning the love from a nasty piece of work. I know these things like to skip a generation, my Nan is a complete battleaxe.
CC, we locked horns but i miss her. it hit me much harder than i could imagine. i have dreams with her. so weird.
I thought that when my father was gone I would be free (finally).
But I miss him, and I didn't expect it would be like that.
You give permission. I'm not talking deep meaningful bull crap. You give permission to talk nonsense. Dairy 33.....to 150.

Ox tongue soup was my way of talking.

Horses for courses. I'd love to show you why I sit in the back ground with a farrier that's more in tune bracing the hind quarters. I'd never shoe a horse from the front, I'm more at ease feeling the leg with a swift motion. I know it's coming.........

Yes, I'm an idiot but I'm honest
@Grand.
Same thing happened to me. I would love to have another conversation with him.
@Chez

""Then that must make you the really nice one, earning the love from a nasty piece of work. I know these things like to skip a generation, my Nan is a complete battleaxe."""

Hold your water mate, Nigel Farage will save you. In all fairness, wasn't it your great saviour Winston Churchill that said "we will fight them on the beaches"???? Regardless whatever ANZACS did.

Apparently, It's okey dokey to knife folk in London because according to Sadiq Karnt.....it's par for the course.


I don't know about you guys but I can't wait to live in Sadiq's head. Don't worry about Rotherham, Bradford or where ever. Diversity is cool and the gang

Across the border.

Don't worry about passports. Just pretend you're a refugee. Sail into NZ with nothing else but a covid certificate.

Or... thinking outside the box as we cross the Rubicon........we could meet half way between the equator's northern hemisphere and southern hemisphere on the doldrums going nowhere as Michael pulls up his set sails as the captain sets free. We'll go into the galley and behind closed doors with uncle Trev the quarter master turning a blind eye. I'll taste your ruby red wine

ps. I'm going ballistic thinking about you on "fantasy Island".

Ahoy there me hearty.
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by cryptorchid
created Nov 20
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Last Commented: Nov 22
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