Starting Over
Of course each day, each moment, is an opportunity to start over but the beginning of a new year tends to stand and wag an accusing finger; so many people are making resolutions, plans to change, articles in the papers, on the radio, address the matter of change, revision, repositioning in life.And I wonder, this year do I want to make any other changes in my life?
In 2005 I left NY to come back to Barbados leaving almost half a lifetime (complete with its own shifts and changes) behind me.
From 2005 to 2007 I found a place to live, replaced all the things it turned out I could not live without, and relearned the reefs and currents of the job market here, struggling to find a balance between diplomacy and hypocrisy as my New York call a spade a spade bluntness offended sensibilities left and right.
I suppose telling a board that their questions were discriminatory and I didn't consider their job worth getting a darker tan and risking skin cancer over was less than diplomatic. So instead of working for a hidebound government stamped institution I help run two radio stations with a free hand (relatively speaking) and the promise of a TV station this year. Let's hear it for plain speaking!
Coming home has had some odd effects. I've lost my hairdresser - so I learned to use clippers; my dentist - I am still trying to find someone comfortable with not giving me anaesthetics; my acupuncturist - still not replaced and sorely missed as my health, despite amazing amounts of money spent with a cardiologist and others, is no longer as smoothly functioning as it was under the regular care of Doctors Li and Bao who helped me be well and full of energy with my dancer's arthritis an occasional twinge rather than the daily scream of joints it is now.
This is why I blog. Until I wrote that last sentence I had no idea what it was I needed to change for myself this year. There is a disadvantage to living in the moment at times for me. The moment passes and I leave the stresses of that moment with its passing - on one level. On others I can sometimes see minute accretions building up a reef of unresolved and uncompleted thoughts and impulses that acupuncture used to help me release and relax.
So the change I need to make is one of putting back something that was good for me and my life. Something the move here changed beyond my power to influence, and I need to renew my search for an acupuncturist who is truly practised and doesn't have to look at a book before placing each needle. not a reassuring experience at all!
And the Universe has sent me an announcer to try with. She arrived all nervous and ready to be trained yesterday, she will work the shift with me tomorrow and I shall hope to have her ready to go solo in a week. Thank you Universe, I knew you would provide!
Now I need a competent acupuncturist, please.