Time out, time off!
Bliss! Four days in a row. Mine to play with. Mine to go to the mechanic, to go shopping, to lie in bed and do nothing. Whatever I choose to do. Mine!And a total surprise because I fully expected to be working with the new trainee today and tomorrow. She is enthusiastic and exhausting like a kitten or puppy that has discovered the joy of running very very fast and bouncing all over the furniture.
My boss wants to take some time off next week and as we pull the same hours and workload and she has to be there for wrapping up December's accounts she told me stay home. Take a long weekend. It will balance out the fact that neither of us has had more than three quarters of a day since the first week in December.
The numbness in my hand has spread from two fingers to pretty much the whole left side of my body, not debilitating particularly, just an odd sensation as below the surface of the skin the feeling is still there.
The doctors stroke their chins and wonder why there are no lesions to be found in my brain and I wonder why I pay them; use acupressure points to soothe arrhythmias and calm the ringing in my ears and speculate about the side effects of elevated blood pressure, low sleep and heavy stress, all things reported and dismissed because there is no MD among the letters I could tack after my name. Bah humbug on the medical profession!
What is it about doctors? I have lived in this body more than half a century (a scary thought). I feed it, bathe it, stretch and bend it, touch and cherish it and know it well. It tells me things and I have learned to listen carefully and on those rare occasions when I brave the medical domain I report in full. And they nod and go yes yes and sorry we find nothing wrong. Then I say is this normal, they say no and are you sure that's what you feel. It is a miracle that none of them are dead. At my hand.
And I have four days to play! To go for achingly long walks that push me to the extremes of breath and muscle. To sink beneath the the water and empty all the air from every corner of my lungs and lie there on the bottom, ninja sand, to pop up suddenly and feel the sting of salt in eyes and every little scratch that living has stamped into the glossy hide that holds me all together.
Four endless, blissful days!