Living with teens
My eldest just turned 14 some days ago and everytime I told people that, their reaction were more "Oh teen, you must've some rough times with her". Fortunately, as far as I remember, I don't reckon any difficult time with her. She has always been a nice kid to me, my only problem with her lately is I found her too much into internet. It used to be just googling things she likes to read, now I see she's so much into social media, facebook, twitter, etc. As a parent of course i check her account, and glad that I only found her schoolmate in her friend list. When they first had their facebook account they were like racing who has the most friends, but I told them it does not matters how many friends the have (on facebook), what matter is how many of them are their true friends.For her birthday my daughter asked me for some money, she wanted to take some of her friends to watch a movie. Because I was out of town, she was worried that her grandma won't let her go since she does not only plan to watch movie but also dinner which means they're gonna be home at night. I told her to talk to her grandma herself telling her that she already got my permission. I told her there's nothing to be afraid of if she does not do anything wrong, and if grandma is worry, then it's time for her to prove that she can be count on. I asked her to be home before 9 and she did.
The day after I was already home, she thanked me for the money and my trust in her, I said I know I can trust her. She hugged me. Then excitedly she told me all about the movie and dinner, as this is her first time out just by herself and friends. I remember when she was 5 I cried when she went into kindergarten. Only in a week she grew up so fast. From the first day she wanted me to stay and watch her from the window while she was in class, to the sixth day when she refused me holding her hands and said "No Mom, I'm a big girl don't hold my hand, you're embarrassing me". How fast my small girl turned into a big girl!
She slept in my bed that night, I was happy. I thought she wanted to be with me but I was wrong. She was up all night using my laptop. I asked her what she was doing up all night. She smiled telling me that she just made her own blog and she wanted me to read and give my opinion of her blog. I wonder what is so difficult about having a teen, why mine is so sweet like this? That day when she refused me holding her hands I wish she would never grow up and stay as my little girl, now as I saw her growing up, I'm proud and happy she is.
Happy 14th birthday my love, thank you for teaching me to be a mother and letting me be your friend and sharing your stories with me.
Comments (11)
I have 2 nieces who are unfortunately not in a good place a the moment and it is hard to have to watch that and not be able to do something about it. Hope she'll continue and the right path.
I am very proud of her, she's doing good at school, so far never give me any problem, her only flaws I guess she loves sleeping and so much into internet, but I guess that's nothing compare what other teens do.
Luke,
I hope she will continue like this, I mean some teens lie maybe because they thought that's the only way because some parents do not listen and give order instead. As for me, they are allowed to say/ask anything as long as they have a reason. And if there is a problem we discuss it, I have never put my self as a parent who decide something for them. I guess it's important to let them know that they are a person who has the right to decide what's best for them as long as they have (a reasonable) reason and can be responsible for whatever decision they make.
It was great for me too. I mean it's an exercise for both of us. I have to except she's grown up and no longer a kid, give her more freedom and trust her, while she learns to be responsible and keep her promise. Beside if she's happy, I am happier
As children, our lives are completely controlled by our parents.
As adults, we completely control our own lives.
As teenagers, the transition of control happens... teens often want control faster than parents want (or should) relinquish/release it.
I think that's the root of difficulties in raising teenagers.
I also think that good communication, with understanding and acceptance, helps it go smoothly.
It's wonderful that you have this communication with her!
Happy belated birthday for your daughter, mbak saras
Richard
As far as I can say being a parent is a never-ending learning process, all I can say is that my kids has taught me to be a better person.