To Make you Smile
Caught SpeedingWoman: Is there a problem, Officer?
Officer: Ma’am, you were speeding.
Woman: Oh, I see.
Officer: Can I see your license please?
Woman: I’d give it to you but I don’t have one.
Officer: Don’t have one?
Woman: Lost it 4 times for drunk driving.
Officer: I see…Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.
Woman: I can’t do that.
Officer: Why not?
Woman: I stole this car.
Officer: Stole it?
Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.
Officer: You what?
Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want
to see.
The Officer looks at the woman, slowly backs away to his car, and
calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior
officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.
Officer 2: Ma’am, could you step out of your vehicle please!
The woman steps out of her vehicle.
Woman: Is there a problem sir?
Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this
car and murdered the owner.
Woman: Murdered the owner?
Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car,
please.
The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.
Officer 2: Is this your car, ma’am?
Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers.
The first officer is stunned.
Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving
license.
The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and
hands it to the officer. The officer snaps open the clutch purse and
examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.
Officer 2: Thank you ma’am, one of my officers told me you didn’t
have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked
up the owner.
Woman: Betcha the lying IDIOT!! told you I was speeding too.
•
The Most Stupid Man On Earth
There was a flood in a village.
One man said to everyone, “I’ll stay! God will save me!”
The flood got higher and a boat came and the man in it said “Come on mate, get in!”
"No" replied the man. God will save me!
The flood got very high now and the man had to stand on the roof of his house.
A helicopter soon came and the man offered him help.”
No, God will save me!” he said
Eventually he died by drowning.
He got by the gates of heaven and he said to God “Why didn’t you save me?”
God replied, “For goodness sake! I sent a boat and a helicopter. What more do you want!”
Comments (25)
You go girl!
You just be online standby! ............
Sorry! I was playing my game. I didn't think to check back into the blogs, until now!
I been out in the rain today. Can't think a lot! I've kinda got melted.....
Nope! I don't do helmets.......
I used to let the kids play in the pouring rain when they were small. Right after that, would give them each a mug of hot chocolate to warm up their bodies. They still have memories of it until today
It's to hot here, for that right now!
I'm sitting here, watching TV, CNN!
It's a shame, what the people is dealing with in that war. Not just military people.
But! The families that lives there. The News is showing them also! In the churches praying. It is sadness!......
Yeah! I know. I will just turn the channel.
It's just the point that! The News shows anything. Anything!
Too funny!!!...a good laugh...
I lives here! In the usa........
Officer: "Afternoon sir, pulled you over for speeding off like that, now its Friday afternoon and I dont want anymore paperwork today so if you can give me a good reason as to why you were speeding I'll let you be on your way."
Motorist: "Well sir, 3 weeks ago my wife left me for a police officer, and when i saw you in my rear view mirror I took off because I thought you were trying to give her back..."
Officer: "Have a good day sir.."