Mail Order Husband

I'm done with shitty LDR, the non-stop arguments and trust issues and online dating is not reliable due to scammers.

I've read plenty of success stories of mail order husband and I think it's worth to give it a try.conversing

I am single ( divorced ), 39 years old...
have a son who sometimes lives with me...
would want to have another son...
emotionally and mentally stable...
have a stable job and financially independent...
educated,funny, happy person...
loves to cook and enjoys romantic night in/out...
pretty good with sensual massage...
willing to pay $500 ( will be given in the morning following the wedding night ) for the following:

Single man (divorced, single, widow)
40-55 years old hunk
have a stable job (rich and super rich need not apply )
physically & mentally fit ( a little tummy will be fine )
wife-fearing ( religious and spiritual preferred if not fanatical)
any race but English is a must
Loving, understanding, thoughtful...and not boring.
Must know his way in the kitchen and in the bedroom
Can afford to buy his own ticket to Jordan and must have a wedding ring ready.

Some terms and conditions will be discuss before wedding ceremony.


Any takers ?batting
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Comments (45)

laugh

And why exactly would this goodlooking, emotionally stable, financially-independent hunk be on a mail-order catalogue again??


laugh
Good question, Molly

but that could ruin my chance to be happyprofessor

maybe, just like me, they're having hard time looking for true love ?dunno
So maybe the answer is for you to go in a mail order bride catalogue idea
No, can't do that Mollyscold

If he pay then he call the shots and I have to go to his country...can't do thatsigh

If I pay then I will have him my way...blushing
CC,

You ordering one too?

What's the price range for the men in your town ?confused laugh
CH no I'm not ordering any man through any stupid catalog.laugh

I want to see/view the product I'm buying in person where I can inspect him up close and personal.laugh
CC,

You simply have to pick the refundable ones...always be aware of "no return, no exchange" policy in some catalogues...go for the ones that have guarantees and warranty for at least 1 week professor
CH plus they will also have to fit in my locked mailbox.

I just hope they don't come with a notice to purchase an extended warranty like some things do.
Oh lessbutter stop complaining.laugh grin comfort
less,

as for mentally fit...I will determine that by myself, I don't require a written report or recommendation from a shrinkcomfort


are you in the market?confused
CC,

Once you paid for him then he's all yours...you can make him do everything you want, you basically own this man...just make sure you put everything you require when you post your ad...such as:

good with house maintenance, gardening, auto repairs, painting, plumbing...and can generate a stable income to help pay for his keepprofessor laugh
How many women can one man satisfy? dunno
Less,

the man will be exclussively mine...I can rent him to some lovely ladies if the price is right, temporarily...but they have to return him to me in good condition or they will pay for the scratches and damagesprofessor
hmmm ...
I don't want to buy a husband but I'd love to rent a hugger. It's cold and wet and I shall probably have to do something about the fire (the dog thinks so, quite loudly) and I could just do with someone to cuddle and watch the flames with for an hour.

Come here, dawg. And don't breathe in my face, 'kay?

sigh
(she's old, and her breath is not minty-fresh)
Less,

I take that as a yes...?wink
Crazy/CC your last comments sounded a bit like buying a used car!
Oh Biff, Hugs are free, but dog mints would be cheaper.
Legs,

if it's only a cuddle, then you pay a lot less and save some money for his keep ( food, clothing etc) I'm sure there are agencies that accepts hourly rates...you have to be more specific though

they could send someone this big ...could crush your bones during cuddlinglaugh

Embedded image from another site
Map I was only joking around.I can reassure that is not how I found my late husband like I was purchasing a used vehicle as you say.

Knowing CH I'm sure she created this blog for fun.I hope so anyway.uh oh
Map,

we're definitely not talking about used cars here..."used" man maybedunno laugh

CC and I were discussing win/win tips...laugh
maybe put your ad up in pakistan?

maybe you can pay my ticket and the following morning you can pay by breakfast?
keep the 500

I'm too young for your marriage proposal...
Leno,

This is open for everyone, I'm not excluding anyone who fits my specs...

you pay for your ticket, I pay for your breakfast and the $500...but you have to be within the age bracketprofessor

one contract signed, there's no turning back...we stcik to the contract or I will sue you for breach of contract and you will have to pay for the damages and inconveniences...professor
Interesting point, CH, one would prefer a used man, perhaps, in that he would have cuddling experience, to a sparkling new one looking good but clumsy.

Hmm.

Oh, and yup, the big fella, no thanks. uh oh
He looks a bit lumpy ...
I obviously can't speak for Crazyheart but I'm posting in fun no men are going to be harmed by my comments here.

My profiles states that I'm not looking.I had a very good marriage with my late husband and I'm not in the least interested on entering into another relationship.
Legs,

Here's another option...thumbs up laugh

CC,Legs,

Also, the man you purchased should come with a free collar and remote...it would be easier to train him...

Sorry CH I wouldn't put an electric collar and remote on my dog Bear.that would be cruel.
CC,

I wasn't suggesting it's for Bear...Bear doesn't deserve an electric collar with remote, I'm sure he's a lot sensible than many men out therelaugh
CH I wouldn't do so to men either.Us women obviously aren't perfect either.Far from it.

I thought this blog was going to be fun but it doesn't seem to feel that way anymore.
that's not exactly true CH.....I was hurt/harmed due to the fact that I didn't qualify for the age cut........laugh

My attorney will be in contact....wink
I would if I could but I don't meet any of the conditions so I'll just back away into the corner again.
Track, really now. Grow a pair! roll eyes
wave your a riot always with fun and funny blogs I enjoyed this one bouquet hope you find him hug
Crazy
You Should Look Around On Craigslist Website......popcorn
I will stop by the local jail today and post your ad for you. Many of the men there and their friends not yet caught would seem to meet most of your criteria. One or two may need a little help getting the ticket to Jordan (is it okay if they sneak across the border?), but that seems trivial compared to all of your other requirements. Is it okay to put your contact info and some of your more famous photos on the flyer?
Sands,

you're only 42!!!scold

you are over qualified ...sigh
Track,

just change the date on your birth certificate...comfort laugh
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by Crazyheart38
created May 2016
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