To Catch A Kitty

Here is a story about three stalwart cat burglars. One was a real robber, however he included burglaries in his resume as he wanted to be considered a well rounded thief. He was bent on collecting as many of the cutest little pu**y cats as he possibly could in his life. He was also a minstrel of sorts and liked to go by the name of Bandman.

His partner in crime was a cheery sort. He was fond of having anything powerful between his thighs. He liked to hear the roar of the engine and feel its vibration caressing his family jewels. He fancied himself a rogue and a rebel and he called himself Harley.

Together they spent many months searching for the perfect little pu**y cats. They had some trouble, as kitties can be so good at hiding and are often afraid of strangers. The fact that Bandman liked to sing and play his guitar didn't seem to entice the little critters from their hiding places. It seemed as soon as Bandman would catch sight of a kitty he'd make a sudden jerking movement to catch it and it would run and hide, always in a spot he could not quite reach. Harley was just loud with that machine of his. He was a mover and a shaker. He was in charge of catching the kitties and examining them to make sure the "carpet matched the drapes" so to speak. Only the most perfect kitties would do for the collection, but those kitties seemed to easily evade his efforts to snag them as well.

One day, a wise Spaniard crossed Bandman and Harley's path. He was well versed in catching kitties and indeed had made many a map of all their favorite hiding places. He was known to have a plentiful supply of catnip on hand which never failed to lure them out. He had more finesse and stealth when it came to catching the pretty kitties than did his two cohorts. He gave invaluable advice to Bandman and Harley about how best to bag the babes.

Unfortunately, Bandman and Harley paid no heed to the advice of the Spaniard. They were sure their methods worked better and they proceeded to compete with the Spaniard for kitty attention as best they could.

As you have probably already guessed, the Spaniard was adored by the pu**y cats and poor Bandman and Harley were left with empty bags. All they could do was sit on the couch together and watch National Geographic....The Big Cats episode and wish for better days.