Here is a list of Comedy Blogs ordered by Most Viewed, posted by members. A Blog is a journal you may enter about your life, thoughts, interesting experiences, or lessons you've learned. Post an opinion, impart words of wisdom, or talk about something interesting in your day. Update your blog on a regular basis, or just whenever you have something to say. Creating a blog is a good way to share something of yourself with others. Reading blogs is a good way to learn more about others. Click here to post a blog.
Feminism has wrecked homes, families...and now the planet.
The very nature of feminism...being independent and s*xual revolution is now wrecking the planet.
How so?
Now the same family that live in one house years ago, now need 2. (double the resources being used)
The same with vehicles need.
The same with electricity being used.
Houses need to be heated.
All those extra fossil fuels being used....all that extra pollution.
But of course, we know it is all the man's fault...right feminists?
...all that abuse.
Better yet, what about if we refuse to believe it...it just want be a reality then.
Keep up the good work.
Of course, this is just meant to be some comedy...hope we all get a good laugh from it.
How so?
Now the same family that live in one house years ago, now need 2. (double the resources being used)
The same with vehicles need.
The same with electricity being used.
Houses need to be heated.
All those extra fossil fuels being used....all that extra pollution.
But of course, we know it is all the man's fault...right feminists?
...all that abuse.
Better yet, what about if we refuse to believe it...it just want be a reality then.
Keep up the good work.
Of course, this is just meant to be some comedy...hope we all get a good laugh from it.
I loved President Reagan!!
One day a florist went to a barber for a haircut. After the cut, he asked about his bill, and the barber replied, 'I cannot accept money from you, I'm doing community service this week.'
The florist was pleased and left the shop.
When the barber went to open his shop the next morning, there was a 'thank you' card and a dozen roses waiting for
him at his door.
Later, a cop comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his bill , the barber again replied, 'I cannot accept money from you, I'm doing community service this week.' The cop was happy and left the shop.
The next morning when the barber went to open up, there was a 'thank you ' card and a dozen donuts waiting for him at his door.
Then a politician came in for a haircut, and when he went to pay his bill , the barber again replied, 'I can not accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week.' The politician was very happy and left the shop.
The next morning, when the barber went to open up, there
were a dozen politician lined up waiting for a free haircut.
And that, my friends, illustrates the fundamental difference between the citizens of a. country and the politicians who run it.
As Ronald Reagan said:
BOTH POLITICIANS AND DIAPERS NEED TO BE CHANGED OFTEN AND FOR THE SAME REASON!
(Ronald Reagan was the best governor California ever had, and a great President....) (USA)
The florist was pleased and left the shop.
When the barber went to open his shop the next morning, there was a 'thank you' card and a dozen roses waiting for
him at his door.
Later, a cop comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his bill , the barber again replied, 'I cannot accept money from you, I'm doing community service this week.' The cop was happy and left the shop.
The next morning when the barber went to open up, there was a 'thank you ' card and a dozen donuts waiting for him at his door.
Then a politician came in for a haircut, and when he went to pay his bill , the barber again replied, 'I can not accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week.' The politician was very happy and left the shop.
The next morning, when the barber went to open up, there
were a dozen politician lined up waiting for a free haircut.
And that, my friends, illustrates the fundamental difference between the citizens of a. country and the politicians who run it.
As Ronald Reagan said:
BOTH POLITICIANS AND DIAPERS NEED TO BE CHANGED OFTEN AND FOR THE SAME REASON!
(Ronald Reagan was the best governor California ever had, and a great President....) (USA)
The place in the universe of forever floating traces...
of your virtual actions.
Damn it, let's pretend it never happened
I might just stay here now that my prints are all over the shop
Damn it, let's pretend it never happened
I might just stay here now that my prints are all over the shop
Deathbed Conversation
Doug Pender lived all his life in the Florida Keys and is on his deathbed and knows the end is near. His nurse, his wife, his daughter and two sons, are with him. He asks for two witnesses to be present and a camcorder be in place to record his last wishes, and when all is ready he begins to speak:
"My son, Bernie, I want you to take the Ocean Reef houses."
"My daughter Sybil, you take the apartments between mile markers 100 and Tavernier."
"My son, Jamie, I want you to take the offices over in the Marathon Government Center."
"Sarah, my dear wife, please take all the residential buildings on the bayside on Blackwater Sound."
The nurse and witnesses are blown away as they did not realize his extensive holdings, and as Doug slips away, the nurse says, "Mrs. Pender, your husband must have been such a hard-working man to have accumulated all this property."
The wife replies, "No, my loving husband had a paper route."
"My son, Bernie, I want you to take the Ocean Reef houses."
"My daughter Sybil, you take the apartments between mile markers 100 and Tavernier."
"My son, Jamie, I want you to take the offices over in the Marathon Government Center."
"Sarah, my dear wife, please take all the residential buildings on the bayside on Blackwater Sound."
The nurse and witnesses are blown away as they did not realize his extensive holdings, and as Doug slips away, the nurse says, "Mrs. Pender, your husband must have been such a hard-working man to have accumulated all this property."
The wife replies, "No, my loving husband had a paper route."
Three mischievous old Grannies!
Three mischievous old
Grannies were sitting on a bench outside a
nursing home
When an old Grandpa
walked by.
And one of the old
Grandmas yelled out saying,
"We bet we can tell
exactly how old you are."
The old man said,
"There is no way you
can guess it, you old fools."
One of the
old Grandmas said,
"Sure we can!
Just drop your pants and
under shorts and we can tell your exact
age."
Embarrassed just a little, but
anxious to prove they couldn't do it, he dropped
his drawers.
The Grandmas asked him to
first turn around a couple of times and to jump
up and down several times. Then they all
piped up and said,
"You're 87 years old!"
Standing with his
pants down around his ankles, the old gent
asked,
"How in the world did you guess?"
Slapping their
knees and grinning from ear to ear, the three
old ladies happily yelled in
unison...
"We were at your birthday party yesterday!"
Grannies were sitting on a bench outside a
nursing home
When an old Grandpa
walked by.
And one of the old
Grandmas yelled out saying,
"We bet we can tell
exactly how old you are."
The old man said,
"There is no way you
can guess it, you old fools."
One of the
old Grandmas said,
"Sure we can!
Just drop your pants and
under shorts and we can tell your exact
age."
Embarrassed just a little, but
anxious to prove they couldn't do it, he dropped
his drawers.
The Grandmas asked him to
first turn around a couple of times and to jump
up and down several times. Then they all
piped up and said,
"You're 87 years old!"
Standing with his
pants down around his ankles, the old gent
asked,
"How in the world did you guess?"
Slapping their
knees and grinning from ear to ear, the three
old ladies happily yelled in
unison...
"We were at your birthday party yesterday!"
Be Happy
Sam walks into his boss’s office. “Sir, I’ll be straight with you, I know the economy isn’t great, but I have over three companies after me, and I would like to respectfully ask for a raise.” After a few minutes of haggling the boss finally agrees to a 5% raise, and Sam happily gets up to leave. “By the way”, asks the boss as Sam is getting up, “which three companies are after you?” “The electric company, water company, and phone company”, Sam replied.
“Sugar why don’t you sit down by the table and we’ll start supper.” Said Dorothy to her Husband of 50 years. “Sure thing,” said her husband settling himself down. “Now darling, would you like the soup first or the salad?” Questioned Dorothy. “Umm I guess I’ll take the soup.” He responded. After a whole meal of one endearing term after another, their guest Bob couldn’t contain his curiosity any longer. Bob snuck into the kitchen and asked, “Dorothy do you always talk to your husband like that?” “Bob, I’ll be honest with you,” Dorothy replied. “It’s been five years now, I just can’t remember his name, and I am just too embarrassed to ask him!”
“Sugar why don’t you sit down by the table and we’ll start supper.” Said Dorothy to her Husband of 50 years. “Sure thing,” said her husband settling himself down. “Now darling, would you like the soup first or the salad?” Questioned Dorothy. “Umm I guess I’ll take the soup.” He responded. After a whole meal of one endearing term after another, their guest Bob couldn’t contain his curiosity any longer. Bob snuck into the kitchen and asked, “Dorothy do you always talk to your husband like that?” “Bob, I’ll be honest with you,” Dorothy replied. “It’s been five years now, I just can’t remember his name, and I am just too embarrassed to ask him!”
online today!
When I Was Younger
When I was younger, my teachers and doctors must have thought I was awesome because they kept telling me I was "special" 
Don't Ignore this blog. lol
Perhaps you may remember Charles Grassley's completely ignoring the pleas of women in Congress to allow
them to read the 42,000 pages that they were given the previous night on Kavanaugh ?
Perhaps this may jog your memory;
Well, now that there will be testimony from women who claim to have been sexually harrassed by Kavanaugh,
hopefully, he will finally be listening.
If he does, at least one person, comedian Andy Borowitz, that listening may be at least somewhat faked.
Thus, in his typically timely fashion, today he offers this column in The New Yorker;
them to read the 42,000 pages that they were given the previous night on Kavanaugh ?
Perhaps this may jog your memory;
Well, now that there will be testimony from women who claim to have been sexually harrassed by Kavanaugh,
hopefully, he will finally be listening.
If he does, at least one person, comedian Andy Borowitz, that listening may be at least somewhat faked.
Thus, in his typically timely fashion, today he offers this column in The New Yorker;
In response to:
Satire from The Borowitz Report
Grassley Spends Weekend Practicing Pretending-to-Listen Face
By Andy Borowitz
8:00 A.M.
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Facing the daunting challenge of appearing to pay attention to a woman’s utterances during a televised hearing, Senator Charles Grassley spent the weekend rehearsing what aides are calling his “pretending to listen” face.
In round-the-clock practice sessions that aides characterized as “excruciating,” the chairman of the Senate Judiciary Committee struggled to simulate even a trace of interest in what a woman had to say.
“Chuck has never pretended to listen to a woman before,” an aide said. “These are uncharted waters.”
According to the aide, Grassley’s fake-listening skills “are rudimentary at best,” and the senator was able to hold only a semi-attentive facial expression for seven seconds before it showed unmistakable signs of boredom, irritation, and contempt.
At one point, Grassley reportedly exploded with frustration, bellowing, “If I’d known that going into politics meant I’d have to listen to women, I’d have become a longshoreman.”
Complicating the mock sessions further was the absence on the Judiciary Committee of any Republican women to whom Grassley could pretend to listen, forcing Senator Orrin Hatch to step uncomfortably into the role of a woman.
Andy Borowitz is the New York Times best-selling author of “The 50 Funniest American Writers,”
and a comedian who has written for The New Yorker since 1998.
He writes the Borowitz Report, a satirical column on the news, for newyorker.com
Satire from The Borowitz Report
Grassley Spends Weekend Practicing Pretending-to-Listen Face
By Andy Borowitz
8:00 A.M.
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Facing the daunting challenge of appearing to pay attention to a woman’s utterances during a televised hearing, Senator Charles Grassley spent the weekend rehearsing what aides are calling his “pretending to listen” face.
In round-the-clock practice sessions that aides characterized as “excruciating,” the chairman of the Senate Judiciary Committee struggled to simulate even a trace of interest in what a woman had to say.
“Chuck has never pretended to listen to a woman before,” an aide said. “These are uncharted waters.”
According to the aide, Grassley’s fake-listening skills “are rudimentary at best,” and the senator was able to hold only a semi-attentive facial expression for seven seconds before it showed unmistakable signs of boredom, irritation, and contempt.
At one point, Grassley reportedly exploded with frustration, bellowing, “If I’d known that going into politics meant I’d have to listen to women, I’d have become a longshoreman.”
Complicating the mock sessions further was the absence on the Judiciary Committee of any Republican women to whom Grassley could pretend to listen, forcing Senator Orrin Hatch to step uncomfortably into the role of a woman.
Andy Borowitz is the New York Times best-selling author of “The 50 Funniest American Writers,”
and a comedian who has written for The New Yorker since 1998.
He writes the Borowitz Report, a satirical column on the news, for newyorker.com
:-))...!
A special invention of Japanese
Talking Dog
While walking along the street, a man saw a sign that said: TALKING DOG FOR SALE, $10. The man couldn’t believe his ears when the dog said, “Please buy me. I’m a great dog. I played professional football. I was even nominated most valuable player.” “That dog really does talk!” the man gasped. “Why in the world do you want to sell him for only ten dollars?” “He never played professional football,” said the dog’s owner, “and I can’t stand liars.”
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