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I went swimming with my family. It was wonderfully refreshing I wish the water would have been colder.

HAVE YOU EVER FOUND YOURSELF ALONE :AND WONDERED WHY? HAVE YOU EVER TALKED TO YOURSELF MORE THAN ONCE AND WONDERED WHY? HAVE YOU EVER FOUND THAT SPECIAL SOMEONE AND THEN LOST HIS NUMBER AND WONDERED WHY?HAVE YOU ..EVER WISHED THAT YOU COULD RUN TO HIS HOUSE AND ASK HIM OUT AGAIN "BUT WHAT IF HE LOOKED AT YOU FUNNY AND ASKED ME?..WHY? WE ALL DESERVE A SECOND CHANCE DONT YOU THINK?....WHY..NOT?

Wherever we travel in the world we will be monitored by CCTV cameras. Here in the UK we are monitored more than any other people of the world. Somewhere there is probably video tape or digital images of most of the world’s inhabitants.

It is not known how many CCTV cameras are in the UK but a 2002 working paper by Michael McCahill and Clive Norris of UrbanEye estimated the number of surveillance cameras in private premises in London at 400,000 and the total number of cameras in the UK at around 4,000,000. One camera for every 14 people.

In London the congestion charge is enforced with cameras inside the congestion charge zone. They automatically read the registration plates of cars and a fine is imposed if charges haven't been paid.

"Talking CCTV" cameras have been installed in town-centres, a system pioneered in Wiltshire which allows CCTV operators to communicate directly with the public when they see an offence being committed. This idea first appeared in George Orwell's famous novel Nineteen Eighty-Four.

Where will it all stop? Will it stop? We now have online galleries where we can see details of convicted people. What if we were to combine some of this modern technology? Envisage a society where all the criminals could be incarcerated for a short while and then released after having a surgical implant of patchouli oil.

Patchouli oil detectors could be setup all round the town centres and inhabited areas and it would be like something out of Invasion of the Body Snatchers. Whenever that smell came to the attention of the detectors a siren could be activated and a big plastic finger would be extended to point at the criminals. The advantage would be that the distinctive aroma would waft into your nostrils and we could have all “normal citzens” point and scream. Criminals wouldn’t have anywhere to go and they’d be pleading to have their surgical patchouli implants removed with promises of going straight, some just to get rid of the smell.

And what level of crime would qualify for Patchouli Oil Implant? Obviously there would have to be some measure. A cut off point would have to be established for POI as obviously we wouldn’t want to implant everyone, would we? Although I suppose that as detectors became more sensitive it would be possible to have different grades of POI or VGPOI’s.

We already have so many measures in our lives. Adding another wouldn’t be too much of a problem. Already we have measures of height, weight, colour of hair, eye colour, ethnic origin. When filling out forms we are already well versed in providing answers to a wide variety of statistics which include all of these facts, plus our age, place of birth, gender, religious persuasion, previous names etc. Is the time coming when the measure of your VGPOI will be required on forms of all kinds?

Of course the powers that be need all these statistics and measurements in order to verify the veracity of your information. But why stop at these simple measurements? Why not extend the brief?

Imagine if you had to give other measurements for example you’d have questions like
What is your normal volume?
What is your average velocity in Km/Hour?
What is the length of your smile?
Your inside leg measurement?

Wouldn’t they make as much sense?
Perhaps we should have more measurements which are difficult to change. This could avoid people cheating the system and dyeing their hair or wearing coloured contact lenses or walking with a stoop.

What is the length of your nose from bridge to tip?
Length from fingertip to wrist?
Width of your head ear to ear?

There’d be a whole new ethos in society. Instead of people commenting he’s a 6 footer …he’s overweight, must be at least 14 stone…. you’d have Blimey he’s got a wide head. Look at the measure of her bellybutton to nipple! My she’s got a tidy volume on her. Look at the size of her acceleration per second per second!

The way things are going the time may not be far off.

Does anybody have that neighbor, who for some reason, doesn't believe in brushing his teeth before he goes outside to talk to people?
Everytime I go outside to either check the mail on the front porch, or to take out the trash on the back porch, I always run into that next door neighbor at some point during that day.
He just doesn't believe in waving, or nodding his head as a greeting. He just has to say something out loud, and then try to get closer to me.
I'm like, "Nah, sorry, I have to hurry up and get out of here. I'll talk to you later. I have to check on the bacon."
It's like, as soon as he said something, I smelled that funk that was almost like tear gas. I started to say out loud, "COURTESY FLUSH MAN............COURTESY FLUSH!!!!"

I received an email from a site which I subscribe to and it was entitled “Proud to be White”. I found myself thinking deeply about situations occurring in society, which can lead to debates about the rights and wrongs of any particular viewpoints.
Undoubtedly the article had many points of view which either had truth in them or appeared to be reasonable in their context. It was not “anti” anyone or anything per se however there was an invitation at the end which stated;

“There is nothing improper about this e-mail. Let's see which of you are proud enough to send it on.”

I am sure that statement would make some people feel uneasy. This would NOT be because there is anything inherently wrong or improper to the sentiment but it's connotations somehow stir up contoversy and even a fear which white people have.
The fear I refer to could be related in some way to the sense of fair play which has been indoctrinated into white people of all ages in certain sections of the community. It has perhaps become more powerful since society as a whole has rejected and even legislated against overt racism. The concept of positive discrimination possibly adds fuel to this “fire of fear”.

It is a fear of being caught out in some way by non-white people and being branded or perceived as a racist. Even if we truly believe that we have eliminated all racist thoughts, no matter what our ethnic background or race, are we really sure what level of racism we carry with us or condone by some action or inaction? So it seems that, even if we pretend to be non discriminatory we may harbour some discriminatory thoughts, somewhere within our person or we may condone, even inadvertently, some covert racist activity and that may lead to a fear of “being found out”.

There is no doubt that throughout all ages, right up to today, people of all ages, gender and race have been repressed, brutalised and misused and that any people who are part of a minority group may feel the need to redress the balance. Perhaps as part of a majority in this country we may fear the possibility of becoming a minority.

In summary I would like to say that being free to be honest as the writer indicates is the right of every human being, no matter there background.
However I feel I must decline the invitation to declare “Proud to be white” and point out;
I am white by birth, not by choice, but I am happy to be who I am.
I am of Scottish /Irish descent, not by choice, but I am happy to be who I am.
I choose to be mindful and cautious of governments, organizations or institutions that promote racism in any shape to further their own supremacist aims.
I choose to protest against any group which seeks to oppress others by any means.
I choose to condemn covert or institutional racism from whatever source against whatever group.
I choose to abhor the social climates that produce ethnic cleansing and lead to genocide.
I choose to judge people by the content of their character not the colour of their skin.
I choose not to have preconceived ideas about anybody's racial heritage.
I choose to treat all people fairly as I would wish them to treat me.
I am happy to part of the human family with all my imperfections.

Hello to all who reads my blog. My name is Stephanie and i am 37 yrs old soon to be 38 this month and I am so ready to be settled down with a good man who will love me effortlessly and with al the careand gentleness a man can give so I can share all my love in return. Anyway this is my story, i was married at 18 to a person who I thought I was gonna spend the rest of my life with had my first child right away. He was in the navy and I put off my career choice to be with him on what I thought was gonna be a good life for me and my children but during our 6 yrs of marriage he strayed while doing alot of tours over seas and i probably wouldnt have cared if he wasnt tupid enough to bring all his evidence of his infidelities home, hiding them in places where he thought i would have no reason to look like my kitchen(DUH!) I had 3 children with him total, by my 3rd child he was dishonorably discharged from the military for smoking pot and we had just changed duty stations so when he got booted we had no where to go. We eventually went back to our home state where we lived with my grandparents while i went to work and he stayed home and continued with all his cheating till he got another woman pregnant and that was the straw that broke my back. I gave him the boot. I raised my children on my own without his help for yrs and then i decided to leave my home town to try and give my kids more. I moved to NC where I met another man who was 6 yrs younger than me at the job I started working at when i got here and he persued me hard and I wasnt to sure about him because he was younger but i gave him a try and we dated for basically 6 yrs and there was some ups and downs mostly downs but i tried to deal and cope well about 4yrs into the relationship i decided to buy me a double wide because i was tired of living with him in his cramped apt and he asked me was i taking him and his son with me and my kids and i was hesitant at first but I was a sucker and gave in despite all the problems we were having after being in my double wide for about a yr I got huurt at my job and they pulled me out of work and began recieving workers comp and of course i wasnt getting what i was making if i was at work so that meant he had to pull a little bit more weight to help keep the mortgage paid but that wasnt panning out for him he was too worried about having nice clothes and rims for his truck than paying the bills to keep our home eventually for some weird reason he started bugging me about marrying him and on that sucker note again i did it, my gutt was saying noooo!!! but u do dumb junk when u r in love. long story short I lost my home had to move and after that we split after being married for not even 6 months he brought me a dodge caravan and took that back from me after we split up even though i paid off his first lil car he had when we met and then turned around and gave him the down payment for the explorere he was driving. My point is I married a man that constantly took from me when it suited his needs but when I was in need he turned his back on me so thats why I am looking for a true honest real man who is deserving of my heart and soul.

There are six apartments in this complex, several mango trees in the back yard and a profusion of bougainvillia in the front as well as the obligatory coconut trees. Weekends are usually noisy around here as everyone digs out the lawn mowers and the weed wackers but today it is quiet apart from the occasional passing car and bird song.

My personal space always looks as though a high wind whirled through it, a feng shui nightmare, with stacks of books, CD's, production charts, painting and pottery supplies expanding to fit the available space. I clear it all away and organize it weekly but by Sunday it is always out and scattered as I flit from one project to another, some scheduled to be finished by tomorrow, some not past the bare bones of conception. All working, all growing, all taking up room and generating clutter.

My colours are orange, brown, oatmeal; spiced with blues, with teal and crimson. A handmade sandalwood fan painted with crysanthemums hangs open on one wall, another sports three straw mats, all circles, which balance the thrust of the green triangle with drawers across the room.No pictures at all. My bedroom is an oasis of white with cool greens and turquoise counterpoint to earth tone sheets and a throw of hot orange, no closet no chair just a bed draped in a mosquito net the limpid green of woodland water, one handcarved table to hold a lamp and the only clock I own.

My kitchen and my bathrooms are models of inefficiency, designed without a thought of function, the drains a direct line to hell, spilling forth immense cockroaches at night - shiny glossy 'mahogany birds' two inches long - if left unstoppered despite frequent applications of boric acid and pleas to the landlord. I do them harm whenever I see them and absorb the sin, the karma for future incarnations.

I think in tangents, each thought bouncing off at an angle, ricocheting forth and boomeranging back along new paths and I live in a sprawl of artifacts delineated by this process while my Moon in Virgo wrings her tidy hands dripping with labels and with order doing her best to tame the swirl of Jupiter's immense attraction and the delicate intrusions of Scorpio that lace my chart. And I sit zazen, observing and acknowledging; releasing what I can and recognizing the familiar landmarks of my journey as I pass them one more time with feeling, still naming them mine.

Sometimes the ultimate pain and pleasure is seeing what I do and how I do it, seeing the ruts in my internal eternal carpet powerless to deviate as I drop another pencil and let it fall, just reaching for another one so close to hand. In the course of my lifetime I have shattered the bonds of habits only to replace them with a new behaviour, distorted mirror in an echo chamber that I need to acknowledge as progress for it is a change. Dilute, dilute a thousand million times each thought, intention, motion and direction until, distilled, I become my own homeopathic remedy and the cause will heal the symptom eradicating the interruption of the natural perfection we are all intended to be.

cried because of casper.... today I listened to music. thenmn I went out side. then I came in, and had mack ad cheese. it was verry good. Casper cat that I got reall atached to, got hit yester day it made me verry sad. any vues would e great. I'll try to update as much as I can i g to update but I just forget about it, and it just slips my mind. becuause goes on all at once. well, hope you read this.tha's my update for july 7 2007

A year ago I attended an artists' workshop held at Lancaster Great House here in Barbados, one of the ever dwindling plantation main houses that are all gradually losing the battle to greed for land and condos. A heritage unravelling.

Before I arrived at Lancaster House thoughts of red and white roses jostled for position with visions of spirals, winding paths, DNA, past present and future coming together and exploding outwards from the gathering point that is a Great House.

Roses were roughly shouldered out of the way by the gleam of polished mahogany, the layered bite of bark on my hands, the evocative shapes of the pods that launch the seeds on their way to new life.

I became a gatherer; of images, of objects. Words left me and my gaze became my link between the internal and external. My blood sang to me of history, my personal present informed my fingers and vision became concrete.

The vivid generous energy of the workshop, gently guided and directed by Sonia Boyce has been a crucible in which I flamed, melted, reformed and emerged with a new awareness of my own vision, the elements of self reinforced and expanded.

The elements exist, I did not, cannot, make them I merely present them in a pattern that has meaning for me on several levels; that may resonate for you.

It seems every girl i ever meet just wants to play games with me. I'm a romantic guy, i like long walks in the park, candle light dinner, dancing in the rain even if there is not music, kissing in the rain, cuddling. I have a career, i am in the process of purchasing a house, i dont understand why so many girls just wanna play games with me. They say they like me and wanna see me, or see me again, then i never get a phone call, they dont return my calls, dont return my text message or e-mails. I just dont get it... am i just that ugly or not wanted?