There's no fool like an old fool ( Archived) (87)

Seek.

....your not a fool...... when we get older we do get wiser ... but still do it anyway.... the difference is our eyes are wide open. You were brave to get involved with him and even braver to end it.... Still allow yourself to adore him and time will do its thing..... x

Well, seeing you sit in the chair with your face in your hand and reading the story I think I know your feeling, to me the problem is you just cut it off so fast, maybe you should have just ramped things back to seeing him once a week.

Jeffrey...surely you're not claiming that your relationship didn't proceed as a result of your own choices all along the way? Lacking an ironclad plan or a clear initial intention doesn't dispute that, does it? You chose to develop the relationship, knowing its expiration date.

So the question remains: What did you hope to gain from it?

(I'm not trying to bust your balls, A. But this is a question that begs to be answered, doesn't it?)

Ambrose, sometimes two people become involved without any real planning or aforethought you know.

Often out of loneliness, the most unlikely couples attract and cling on to each other. Then reality sets in, though I´m not suggesting that´s the case here, and I´ve never experienced such a relationship, so I´m probably not best equipped to give an opinion truth be told.

Well, Ambrose, you're being direct, as always, and so shall I be. What I hoped to gain was, I suppose, a bit of joy in an otherwise routine existence. I hoped to gain the company of a man who really cared about me, which was evident early on. I hoped to gain something that many people enjoy in life that I've been craving. I hoped to gain the laughter of a shared private joke, a wink now and then, phone calls in the evenings when we weren't together, weekend plans being made, someone to want to cook a meal for....I could go on and on.
Yes, I know what your point is and I know what you are asking me, but you have someone in your life, have had for awhile, and haven't been without someone special to care for in a long time. Do you even remember what it feels like to be alone for a long time? You've known me here for quite some time now and you know I've had relationships that haven't worked out for me, but this one really hit me hard. I realized today that I haven't had this gut-wrenching feeling for over 10 years, and this is because I haven't cared so deeply in all this time. It wasn't just a matter of filling a void; it turned out that there was so much more.
If you're hungry and you need protein and vegetables and fruits, but someone offers you a big piece of cheesecake....even though you know it's not the best thing for you...wouldn't you go for it? I was hungry, J. I still am, but I ate the cheesecake and it felt damned good at the time. Now I've just got a stomach ache.

The only other way to answer your question is to say that I hoped to gain great sorrow and a renewed sense of loss and emptiness. But do you really think this is the case?

you have mail jlb684

Wonderful analogy, Athens.

Don’t cry because it’s over. Smile because it happened.
– Dr. Seuss

Take care.

I been there too. Even though I was aware of the age difference I convinced myself it was real love. In the end I let go after a few months. Hurt like hell but I think it's the right thing. Our love is frozen in time with both having fond memories.