The line between confident and arrogant... (19)
chriscmiller29Canoga Park, California USA19 Threads 2 Polls 79 PostsWhat is that line? How will I know it when I see it, how will I know when I cross it... I want to be confident but I don't want to sound like some conceded jerk... So what do I do?
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chriscmiller29: What is that line? How will I know it when I see it, how will I know when I cross it... I want to be confident but I don't want to sound like some conceded jerk... So what do I do?
Don't come across as cocky.
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chriscmiller29: What is that line? How will I know it when I see it, how will I know when I cross it... I want to be confident but I don't want to sound like some conceded jerk... So what do I do?
I can't see this being received very well but when interacting with someone, think more about the other and less about yourself
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I understand that. But I feel I don't sound confident enough... Maybe I'm hopeless.
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I don't wanna be funny , but have you lived in a bubble your whole life?
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chriscmiller29: I understand that. But I feel I don't sound confident enough... Maybe I'm hopeless.
It may simply be that you don't hear yourself as "confident" because you are not confident about yourself. If that is the case then it is a matter of dealing with how to become confident. When you are confident it will usually show in not only your words but in the way you carry yourself and in how others perceive you. For instance the last statement "maybe I'm hopeless" does not come across as being so confident.
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chriscmiller29: What is that line? How will I know it when I see it, how will I know when I cross it... I want to be confident but I don't want to sound like some conceded jerk... So what do I do?
It's not about what other people think of you.
It's about trusting that you're perfectly capable of making a life for yourself and relying upon your own judgement.
I cannot recommend the book Counselling For Toads by Robert de Board enough. It's a very, very clever book, but a fun insight into how you can become your own person.
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allthegoodnamest: I don't wanna be funny , but have you lived in a bubble your whole life?
In a way... I have lived in a bubble my whole life. My father was so over protective of me until the day of his death two years ago. He always told me that I need to work on my career before thinking of romance and that's exactly what I did.
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chriscmiller29: What is that line? How will I know it when I see it, how will I know when I cross it... I want to be confident but I don't want to sound like some conceded jerk... So what do I do?
Good question..... confidence is about your self-image, arrogance is about your image of others.
What I mean by this is that it is attitudinal.
It doesn't matter what you do, what you say, what you think. There will always be some people who take it the wrong way, take offense to you. This is the nature of difference and different personalities, different mental conditions, different frequencies.
Confidence is about knowing who you are, accepting who you are, and not worrying about what others think you are. Arrogance is judging others for who you think they are (without proof), and behaving towards them based on that unproved judgment.
Confidence is about not doubting yourself, but about growing yourself (admitting when change is needed and doing the hard yards to bring about that change for the better). Arrogance is thinking that everyone else needs to change who they are.
Confidence is walking away from people and situations that pull you down, arrogance is creating these situations that pull other people down.
JMO.
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Halv0: Good question..... confidence is about your self-image, arrogance is about your image of others.
What I mean by this is that it is attitudinal.
It doesn't matter what you do, what you say, what you think. There will always be some people who take it the wrong way, take offense to you. This is the nature of difference and different personalities, different mental conditions, different frequencies.
Confidence is about knowing who you are, accepting who you are, and not worrying about what others think you are. Arrogance is judging others for who you think they are (without proof), and behaving towards them based on that unproved judgment.
Confidence is about not doubting yourself, but about growing yourself (admitting when change is needed and doing the hard yards to bring about that change for the better). Arrogance is thinking that everyone else needs to change who they are.
Confidence is walking away from people and situations that pull you down, arrogance is creating these situations that pull other people down.
JMO.
What I mean by this is that it is attitudinal.
It doesn't matter what you do, what you say, what you think. There will always be some people who take it the wrong way, take offense to you. This is the nature of difference and different personalities, different mental conditions, different frequencies.
Confidence is about knowing who you are, accepting who you are, and not worrying about what others think you are. Arrogance is judging others for who you think they are (without proof), and behaving towards them based on that unproved judgment.
Confidence is about not doubting yourself, but about growing yourself (admitting when change is needed and doing the hard yards to bring about that change for the better). Arrogance is thinking that everyone else needs to change who they are.
Confidence is walking away from people and situations that pull you down, arrogance is creating these situations that pull other people down.
JMO.
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chriscmiller29: What is that line? How will I know it when I see it, how will I know when I cross it... I want to be confident but I don't want to sound like some conceded jerk... So what do I do?
be nice
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Chriscmiller.
Listen... You're going to get all the advice under the sun but you are what you are. Don't try to change who you are, just socialise more in places where you feel comfortable and eventually someone will like you for who you are.
Listen... You're going to get all the advice under the sun but you are what you are. Don't try to change who you are, just socialise more in places where you feel comfortable and eventually someone will like you for who you are.
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PS. It'll help if you familiarise yourself with the children's books The Wind In The Willows by Kenneth Grahame before reading Counselling For Toads.
The back story helps, particularly how Toad's father wanted him to have a career and be an extension of himself, rather than letting him be his own Toad.
When Toad's father died, Toad found himself somewhat at a loss and didn't know how to run his own life, but with help from Heron, he learns how to accept himself and others.
The back story helps, particularly how Toad's father wanted him to have a career and be an extension of himself, rather than letting him be his own Toad.
When Toad's father died, Toad found himself somewhat at a loss and didn't know how to run his own life, but with help from Heron, he learns how to accept himself and others.
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I think the Mr. Toad in Wind in the Willows knew how to approach life and live it 
and he was mentor and idol as a child
and he was mentor and idol as a child
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chriscmiller29: What is that line? How will I know it when I see it, how will I know when I cross it... I want to be confident but I don't want to sound like some conceded jerk... So what do I do?
The problem with the arrogant man is that he can become so enthralled with himself that he forgets about her and her needs and desires.
Having said that people who are not arrogant can be like this for other reasons and I know arrogant people who are not like this. And in actuality the men who do well with women usually think that they're better than they actually are, many of them fake it until they make it and continue to have too high an opinion of themselves. Overconfidence works on women, believe me on this Chris but for Pete's sake don't copy me.
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chriscmiller29: What is that line? How will I know it when I see it, how will I know when I cross it... I want to be confident but I don't want to sound like some conceded jerk... So what do I do?
Confidence is about how you see yourself. Arrogance is about how you see others. Major difference---
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allthegoodnamest: I don't wanna be funny , but have you lived in a bubble your whole life?
yeah, that grass is so green I can smell the chlorophyll from here....------ This thread is Archived ------
Confidence is when you praise yourself... Arrogance is when you mean it..
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Halv0: Good question..... confidence is about your self-image, arrogance is about your image of others.
What I mean by this is that it is attitudinal.
It doesn't matter what you do, what you say, what you think. There will always be some people who take it the wrong way, take offense to you. This is the nature of difference and different personalities, different mental conditions, different frequencies.
Confidence is about knowing who you are, accepting who you are, and not worrying about what others think you are. Arrogance is judging others for who you think they are (without proof), and behaving towards them based on that unproved judgment.
Confidence is about not doubting yourself, but about growing yourself (admitting when change is needed and doing the hard yards to bring about that change for the better). Arrogance is thinking that everyone else needs to change who they are.
Confidence is walking away from people and situations that pull you down, arrogance is creating these situations that pull other people down.
JMO.
What I mean by this is that it is attitudinal.
It doesn't matter what you do, what you say, what you think. There will always be some people who take it the wrong way, take offense to you. This is the nature of difference and different personalities, different mental conditions, different frequencies.
Confidence is about knowing who you are, accepting who you are, and not worrying about what others think you are. Arrogance is judging others for who you think they are (without proof), and behaving towards them based on that unproved judgment.
Confidence is about not doubting yourself, but about growing yourself (admitting when change is needed and doing the hard yards to bring about that change for the better). Arrogance is thinking that everyone else needs to change who they are.
Confidence is walking away from people and situations that pull you down, arrogance is creating these situations that pull other people down.
JMO.
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