The line between confident and arrogant... ( Archived) (19)

Mar 7, 2015 4:28 PM CST The line between confident and arrogant...
chriscmiller29
chriscmiller29chriscmiller29Canoga Park, California USA19 Threads 2 Polls 79 Posts
What is that line? How will I know it when I see it, how will I know when I cross it... I want to be confident but I don't want to sound like some conceded jerk... So what do I do?
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Mar 7, 2015 4:33 PM CST The line between confident and arrogant...
Friskyone
FriskyoneFriskyoneSanta Fe, New Mexico USA271 Threads 26 Polls 4,631 Posts
chriscmiller29: What is that line? How will I know it when I see it, how will I know when I cross it... I want to be confident but I don't want to sound like some conceded jerk... So what do I do?


Don't come across as cocky.
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Mar 7, 2015 4:35 PM CST The line between confident and arrogant...
Fraya
FrayaFrayaCork, Ireland1 Threads 3,762 Posts
chriscmiller29: What is that line? How will I know it when I see it, how will I know when I cross it... I want to be confident but I don't want to sound like some conceded jerk... So what do I do?


I can't see this being received very well but when interacting with someone, think more about the other and less about yourself
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Mar 7, 2015 4:57 PM CST The line between confident and arrogant...
chriscmiller29
chriscmiller29chriscmiller29Canoga Park, California USA19 Threads 2 Polls 79 Posts
I understand that. But I feel I don't sound confident enough... Maybe I'm hopeless.
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Mar 7, 2015 5:05 PM CST The line between confident and arrogant...
allthegoodnamest
allthegoodnamestallthegoodnamestLondon, Essex, England UK40 Threads 4,697 Posts
I don't wanna be funny , but have you lived in a bubble your whole life?
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Mar 7, 2015 5:06 PM CST The line between confident and arrogant...
Dragos1
Dragos1Dragos1Metro, Oregon USA54 Threads 1 Polls 1,982 Posts
chriscmiller29: I understand that. But I feel I don't sound confident enough... Maybe I'm hopeless.



It may simply be that you don't hear yourself as "confident" because you are not confident about yourself. If that is the case then it is a matter of dealing with how to become confident. When you are confident it will usually show in not only your words but in the way you carry yourself and in how others perceive you. For instance the last statement "maybe I'm hopeless" does not come across as being so confident.
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Mar 7, 2015 5:16 PM CST The line between confident and arrogant...
jac_the_gripper
jac_the_gripperjac_the_gripperTonyrefail, South Glamorgan, Wales UK24 Threads 5,363 Posts
chriscmiller29: What is that line? How will I know it when I see it, how will I know when I cross it... I want to be confident but I don't want to sound like some conceded jerk... So what do I do?

It's not about what other people think of you.

It's about trusting that you're perfectly capable of making a life for yourself and relying upon your own judgement.

I cannot recommend the book Counselling For Toads by Robert de Board enough. It's a very, very clever book, but a fun insight into how you can become your own person.
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Mar 7, 2015 6:42 PM CST The line between confident and arrogant...
chriscmiller29
chriscmiller29chriscmiller29Canoga Park, California USA19 Threads 2 Polls 79 Posts
allthegoodnamest: I don't wanna be funny , but have you lived in a bubble your whole life?


In a way... I have lived in a bubble my whole life. My father was so over protective of me until the day of his death two years ago. He always told me that I need to work on my career before thinking of romance and that's exactly what I did.
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Mar 7, 2015 10:46 PM CST The line between confident and arrogant...
Halv0
Halv0Halv0Marcoola, Queensland Australia19 Threads 766 Posts
chriscmiller29: What is that line? How will I know it when I see it, how will I know when I cross it... I want to be confident but I don't want to sound like some conceded jerk... So what do I do?


Good question..... confidence is about your self-image, arrogance is about your image of others.

What I mean by this is that it is attitudinal.

It doesn't matter what you do, what you say, what you think. There will always be some people who take it the wrong way, take offense to you. This is the nature of difference and different personalities, different mental conditions, different frequencies.

Confidence is about knowing who you are, accepting who you are, and not worrying about what others think you are. Arrogance is judging others for who you think they are (without proof), and behaving towards them based on that unproved judgment.

Confidence is about not doubting yourself, but about growing yourself (admitting when change is needed and doing the hard yards to bring about that change for the better). Arrogance is thinking that everyone else needs to change who they are.

Confidence is walking away from people and situations that pull you down, arrogance is creating these situations that pull other people down.

JMO.
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Mar 7, 2015 10:48 PM CST The line between confident and arrogant...
Le_Monsieur
Le_MonsieurLe_Monsieursamos, North Aegean Greece2 Threads 61 Posts
Halv0: Good question..... confidence is about your self-image, arrogance is about your image of others.

What I mean by this is that it is attitudinal.

It doesn't matter what you do, what you say, what you think. There will always be some people who take it the wrong way, take offense to you. This is the nature of difference and different personalities, different mental conditions, different frequencies.

Confidence is about knowing who you are, accepting who you are, and not worrying about what others think you are. Arrogance is judging others for who you think they are (without proof), and behaving towards them based on that unproved judgment.

Confidence is about not doubting yourself, but about growing yourself (admitting when change is needed and doing the hard yards to bring about that change for the better). Arrogance is thinking that everyone else needs to change who they are.

Confidence is walking away from people and situations that pull you down, arrogance is creating these situations that pull other people down.

JMO.
handshake
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Mar 7, 2015 10:50 PM CST The line between confident and arrogant...
chriscmiller29: What is that line? How will I know it when I see it, how will I know when I cross it... I want to be confident but I don't want to sound like some conceded jerk... So what do I do?


be nice hug
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Mar 8, 2015 3:39 AM CST The line between confident and arrogant...
allthegoodnamest
allthegoodnamestallthegoodnamestLondon, Essex, England UK40 Threads 4,697 Posts
Chriscmiller.

Listen... You're going to get all the advice under the sun but you are what you are. Don't try to change who you are, just socialise more in places where you feel comfortable and eventually someone will like you for who you are.
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Mar 8, 2015 4:00 AM CST The line between confident and arrogant...
jac_the_gripper
jac_the_gripperjac_the_gripperTonyrefail, South Glamorgan, Wales UK24 Threads 5,363 Posts
PS. It'll help if you familiarise yourself with the children's books The Wind In The Willows by Kenneth Grahame before reading Counselling For Toads.

The back story helps, particularly how Toad's father wanted him to have a career and be an extension of himself, rather than letting him be his own Toad.

When Toad's father died, Toad found himself somewhat at a loss and didn't know how to run his own life, but with help from Heron, he learns how to accept himself and others.
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Mar 8, 2015 4:15 AM CST The line between confident and arrogant...
raphael119
raphael119raphael119washington d.c., District of Columbia USA19 Threads 3 Polls 5,181 Posts
I think the Mr. Toad in Wind in the Willows knew how to approach life and live it yay

and he was mentor and idol as a child
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Mar 8, 2015 11:46 AM CST The line between confident and arrogant...
Obstinance_Works
Obstinance_WorksObstinance_WorksManchester, Greater Manchester, England UK3 Threads 1 Polls 3,514 Posts
chriscmiller29: What is that line? How will I know it when I see it, how will I know when I cross it... I want to be confident but I don't want to sound like some conceded jerk... So what do I do?


The problem with the arrogant man is that he can become so enthralled with himself that he forgets about her and her needs and desires.

Having said that people who are not arrogant can be like this for other reasons and I know arrogant people who are not like this. And in actuality the men who do well with women usually think that they're better than they actually are, many of them fake it until they make it and continue to have too high an opinion of themselves. Overconfidence works on women, believe me on this Chris but for Pete's sake don't copy me.
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Mar 8, 2015 4:37 PM CST The line between confident and arrogant...
chriscmiller29: What is that line? How will I know it when I see it, how will I know when I cross it... I want to be confident but I don't want to sound like some conceded jerk... So what do I do?
Confidence is about how you see yourself. Arrogance is about how you see others. Major difference---professor
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Mar 8, 2015 4:38 PM CST The line between confident and arrogant...
allthegoodnamest: I don't wanna be funny , but have you lived in a bubble your whole life?
thumbs up yeah, that grass is so green I can smell the chlorophyll from here....
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Mar 8, 2015 4:41 PM CST The line between confident and arrogant...
allthegoodnamest
allthegoodnamestallthegoodnamestLondon, Essex, England UK40 Threads 4,697 Posts
Confidence is when you praise yourself... Arrogance is when you mean it..
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Mar 8, 2015 4:42 PM CST The line between confident and arrogant...
Halv0: Good question..... confidence is about your self-image, arrogance is about your image of others.

What I mean by this is that it is attitudinal.

It doesn't matter what you do, what you say, what you think. There will always be some people who take it the wrong way, take offense to you. This is the nature of difference and different personalities, different mental conditions, different frequencies.

Confidence is about knowing who you are, accepting who you are, and not worrying about what others think you are. Arrogance is judging others for who you think they are (without proof), and behaving towards them based on that unproved judgment.

Confidence is about not doubting yourself, but about growing yourself (admitting when change is needed and doing the hard yards to bring about that change for the better). Arrogance is thinking that everyone else needs to change who they are.

Confidence is walking away from people and situations that pull you down, arrogance is creating these situations that pull other people down.

JMO.
thumbs up Absolutely
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