Experiences ( Archived) (45)

Wouldn't be wise to tell. He knows who he is. And, just for the record, I still think he's one hell of a man! I think he's quite happily involved with another and I do hope it's going well for him. He deserves the best (well, SECOND best, at least!)

Yes, I was in a long-distance relationship for two years. He lived over 2000 miles away on the other side of the country. Thought everything was good until I found out he was playing the "oh poor me, i have such bad luck with women" card on some poor girl who ended up letting him move in with her after his aunt kicked him out of her house. Turns out he was playing that card with many women.

But people are different and not everyone is like that. I say go with your gut. Your instincts are never wrong. I would not avoid another LDR just because of one bad experience.

No it was a different situation...

I was dating a guy when I was in the States, so in a way it was much easier cause we already knew each other..

You really can't say you have a relationship until you've met the person in RL..

After you've met and spend time together you can make up your mind about the future developments

Agreed

Planning is a must in a long distance relationships and a lot of adjustments have to be made too..

You have to give your 110% and you have to be committed to making it work..

I disagree with the highlighted portion. I have good relationships with a few people I've never met in the flesh - just different from a flesh and blood relationship. Since most of a relationship consists of communication, someone whom you're sharing many intimate details with can be just as real - sometimes more so - as someone you've met corporeally.

Perhaps the closest relationship I've ever experienced with someone was, for a time, solely virtual, so it's certainly false that you cannot have a relationship with someone you haven't met. However, it's certainly true that a romantic relationship must ultimately involve real-life "contact" (and that you will learn a lot from said contact)!!

Well I was referring to romantic relationships..they require physical contact and ultimately the decision about staying together can be made only after you meet and spend time together..JMO



But I do agree on the highlighted part..

Ultimately - yes, I agree, Kamelia. My gf and I - the one I was referring to in my post - often wondered what would happen if after all the great phone/email camaraderie that we simply didn't find each other physically attractive...or there was something off-putting about each other in person.

I can easily see - and I know this has happened - that people who get along great virtually don't enjoy each other in real life...hence, I think it was be wise to meet your potential love-mate as soon as inhumanly possible.

the daydreams? ya, all day everyday.and i dont even have a relationship now..

I have actually done a LD relationship. Not easy since relationships require (to me) some consistent RL interaction, which inclines one (well, me again) in an LDR to think there is a need to move earlier than is required than when we both live in the same city or vacinity.

Planning is important as Trace notes, because the general wisdom of moving into the city where that person is, with consideration for financial implications, generally results in moving in together, which can be, not always mind you, a risky step, pushing the limits of a 'normal' relationship discovery period, where one normally goes home to their own place more often. LD'Rs negate that ability, the sense of 'my place' and the ability to be alone once in a while to digest what is going on, or to just ease into a relationship rather than go through the immediate change.

For some that may be inconsequential I suppose and I am a proponent of finding out as soon as possible if things will work; but those first days, and months, are somewhat more pressured when normal interaction is "sped up" by the necessity of moving in together.

It works for some. I am just saying I think its more difficult, unless you're prepared for getting your feet real wet all at once and having no where to go and dry them off as normal, in the vacinity, relationships permit.

On the other hand some folks need and want to be in that situation, want to be drowned in the other person, warts and all, so ...for me, I guess it is a personal decision in all ways.

All relationships have pitfalls and challenges.

I moved to be with someone it didn't work out so I moved back, Would I do it again, It would depend on alot of things but most it would have to be a very strong relationship where both put 100% into it.