Dating & Mental Health (78)
Tough question but a good one. I would be concerned if he is a felon which is something I experienced with meeting someone on CS. I found out he had a very colorful background and when I put it all together I considered him to be mentally unstable.
Scubadiva: My guess is that a fair number of people who are "on the market" have or have had mental health issues; some more, some less serious; some temporary, some permanent. Perhaps most common are depression, anxiety, or OCD. Some people have anger issues or fears (say of abandonment, etc).
This is not to say we're all nutz, have been nutz or that people who aren't "on the market" don't have those issues. Just to be clear.
So then you meet someone and after you've established a preliminary relationship, they reveal to you that they're on 4 different meds to keep themselves mentally balanced.
How do you react? What mental health issues do you feel prepared to deal with, if any? Do you see it as a quid pro quo situation (i.e. I have anxiety issues, you're depressed, we both have issues, therefore we're okay type of thing)? Where does the mental health of your potential partner rank say compared to physical health?
This is not to say we're all nutz, have been nutz or that people who aren't "on the market" don't have those issues. Just to be clear.
So then you meet someone and after you've established a preliminary relationship, they reveal to you that they're on 4 different meds to keep themselves mentally balanced.
How do you react? What mental health issues do you feel prepared to deal with, if any? Do you see it as a quid pro quo situation (i.e. I have anxiety issues, you're depressed, we both have issues, therefore we're okay type of thing)? Where does the mental health of your potential partner rank say compared to physical health?
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snugglysenior: Tough question but a good one. I would be concerned if he is a felon which is something I experienced with meeting someone on CS. I found out he had a very colorful background and when I put it all together I considered him to be mentally unstable.
Yes, I remember reading that thread and I also think you're right! It's also a somewhat sensitive issue because of the stigma attached to mental health, so we tend not to ask and people tend not to reveal. Most find out about their partner when they're already emotionally wrapped up.
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I grew up in a "family care home" for those who do not know what this is it is a program that places "clients" in homes outside of the mental hospital,I also lived with a girl that was in family care,they are placed there cause it is cheaper for the state, and it really depends on the level of thier sickness, myself personally I dont think I could.
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A very good question.
It is impossible until two people have spent enough time together to even begin to work out how a person with mental hardships will be.
You are right, I have suffered some depression, many people here will have suffered some form of mental anxiety at some point.
I rank emotional well being very high, so if they were on medication then I would not have a problem with it.
What I do have a problem with is people with low self esteem.
That is where I lose patience, keeping a person buoyant is hard work, continually, wondering whether they are good enough for you, whether you truly love them or about to leave them.
I would have problems with that after a while.
Why I like a person who can manage his own mind, can remain his own person as I can yet still be there for each other when needed.
It is impossible until two people have spent enough time together to even begin to work out how a person with mental hardships will be.
You are right, I have suffered some depression, many people here will have suffered some form of mental anxiety at some point.
I rank emotional well being very high, so if they were on medication then I would not have a problem with it.
What I do have a problem with is people with low self esteem.
That is where I lose patience, keeping a person buoyant is hard work, continually, wondering whether they are good enough for you, whether you truly love them or about to leave them.
I would have problems with that after a while.
Why I like a person who can manage his own mind, can remain his own person as I can yet still be there for each other when needed.
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I wonder how many people would admit to having a mental health issue,,knowing how it may be perceived,,but knowing gives everyone an option
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Scubadiva: My guess is that a fair number of people who are "on the market" have or have had mental health issues; some more, some less serious; some temporary, some permanent. Perhaps most common are depression, anxiety, or OCD. Some people have anger issues or fears (say of abandonment, etc).
This is not to say we're all nutz, have been nutz or that people who aren't "on the market" don't have those issues. Just to be clear.
So then you meet someone and after you've established a preliminary relationship, they reveal to you that they're on 4 different meds to keep themselves mentally balanced.
How do you react? What mental health issues do you feel prepared to deal with, if any? Do you see it as a quid pro quo situation (i.e. I have anxiety issues, you're depressed, we both have issues, therefore we're okay type of thing)? Where does the mental health of your potential partner rank say compared to physical health?
This is not to say we're all nutz, have been nutz or that people who aren't "on the market" don't have those issues. Just to be clear.
So then you meet someone and after you've established a preliminary relationship, they reveal to you that they're on 4 different meds to keep themselves mentally balanced.
How do you react? What mental health issues do you feel prepared to deal with, if any? Do you see it as a quid pro quo situation (i.e. I have anxiety issues, you're depressed, we both have issues, therefore we're okay type of thing)? Where does the mental health of your potential partner rank say compared to physical health?
Hi Scuba........
.........Good Topic......I would take Mental Health very seriously. For me I would tell my partner or prospective partner as soon as it feels right to do so. I would expect the same for her............as in the getting to know you phase.........
Also there are people out there who see it as a taboo subject and dont understand that some people need medication to function or to get them thru hard times. I have heard things like Oh get over it.........or You dont need to take them.......Would anyone say the same thing to someone with Diabetes............I dont think so...........What we dont understand we are afraid of......
What I abhor is people who need to take Medication and dont do so. To me that is a huge no no as if they don't care for themselves they are unlikely to care for anyone else.....
Great Thread.........
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Scubadiva: My guess is that a fair number of people who are "on the market" have or have had mental health issues; some more, some less serious; some temporary, some permanent. Perhaps most common are depression, anxiety, or OCD. Some people have anger issues or fears (say of abandonment, etc).
This is not to say we're all nutz, have been nutz or that people who aren't "on the market" don't have those issues. Just to be clear.
So then you meet someone and after you've established a preliminary relationship, they reveal to you that they're on 4 different meds to keep themselves mentally balanced.
How do you react? What mental health issues do you feel prepared to deal with, if any? Do you see it as a quid pro quo situation (i.e. I have anxiety issues, you're depressed, we both have issues, therefore we're okay type of thing)? Where does the mental health of your potential partner rank say compared to physical health?
This is not to say we're all nutz, have been nutz or that people who aren't "on the market" don't have those issues. Just to be clear.
So then you meet someone and after you've established a preliminary relationship, they reveal to you that they're on 4 different meds to keep themselves mentally balanced.
How do you react? What mental health issues do you feel prepared to deal with, if any? Do you see it as a quid pro quo situation (i.e. I have anxiety issues, you're depressed, we both have issues, therefore we're okay type of thing)? Where does the mental health of your potential partner rank say compared to physical health?
In my opinion, every single one has some mental problems, but how they resonate with some one's else problems is key.
If I met a perfectly balanced women, I wouldn't be able to recognize her, because I have no concept of such condition.
I believe, imperfections make humans beautiful and interesting, and there is a quite fine line between well and sick, when it comes to mental health.
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It's interesting to see some consensus that mental health is greatly stigmatized; that stigma varies by diagnosis; that the question of "what is normal" is implied and that there is an expectation there that the person who suffers from an M.A. acts responsibly (take meds; discuss early).
That raises a whole host of questions, for instance: how competent are psychiatrists and psychologists in diagnosing mental illness, especially "disorders" and "syndromes". (We do have a tendency to overmedicate).
What happens when someone has never sought medical help, but appears to be depressed or anxious or exhibits symptoms that resemble bi-polar disorder, for example? How do you deal with it, especially early in a relationship?
That raises a whole host of questions, for instance: how competent are psychiatrists and psychologists in diagnosing mental illness, especially "disorders" and "syndromes". (We do have a tendency to overmedicate).
What happens when someone has never sought medical help, but appears to be depressed or anxious or exhibits symptoms that resemble bi-polar disorder, for example? How do you deal with it, especially early in a relationship?
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If someone has that many issues that they're on that many meds for a mental health issue I would most likely have a problem with that. Usually it only requires two, and further meds are to treat the symptoms caused by the first two. Which would lead me back to Naturopathy...
So, to stay on topic, I have very few emotional and mental health issues, and I have done a lot of work to reach this point. I worked years to control the very nasty temper that I was born with, and reach a level where I have a long fuse with a mild explosion to it. I also have a mild case of bipolar disease, which is controlled without meds because I've learned how to deal with myself and recognize my moods. I control it through my reaction to what is happening within me...or give in, but in a manner that I decree.
I could date someone at my level, but I don't know if I could take on a relationship with someone who had something more severe. And yes, many humans have some sort of emotional and mental health issues...we're human, after all. It's degree that makes the difference. The mental health of my partner is more important to me than physical health, I would say, as it goes to strength of them spiritually, emotionally, and mentally...the things that are more important to me than the outer person. A very good question, Scuba.
So, to stay on topic, I have very few emotional and mental health issues, and I have done a lot of work to reach this point. I worked years to control the very nasty temper that I was born with, and reach a level where I have a long fuse with a mild explosion to it. I also have a mild case of bipolar disease, which is controlled without meds because I've learned how to deal with myself and recognize my moods. I control it through my reaction to what is happening within me...or give in, but in a manner that I decree.
I could date someone at my level, but I don't know if I could take on a relationship with someone who had something more severe. And yes, many humans have some sort of emotional and mental health issues...we're human, after all. It's degree that makes the difference. The mental health of my partner is more important to me than physical health, I would say, as it goes to strength of them spiritually, emotionally, and mentally...the things that are more important to me than the outer person. A very good question, Scuba.
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COSMICDUST: In my opinion, every single one has some mental problems, but how they resonate with some one's else problems is key.
If I met a perfectly balanced women, I wouldn't be able to recognize her, because I have no concept of such condition.
I believe, imperfections make humans beautiful and interesting, and there is a quite fine line between well and sick, when it comes to mental health.
If I met a perfectly balanced women, I wouldn't be able to recognize her, because I have no concept of such condition.
I believe, imperfections make humans beautiful and interesting, and there is a quite fine line between well and sick, when it comes to mental health.
Absolutely.
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Scubadiva: It's interesting to see some consensus that mental health is greatly stigmatized; that stigma varies by diagnosis; that the question of "what is normal" is implied and that there is an expectation there that the person who suffers from an M.A. acts responsibly (take meds; discuss early).
That raises a whole host of questions, for instance: how competent are psychiatrists and psychologists in diagnosing mental illness, especially "disorders" and "syndromes". (We do have a tendency to overmedicate).
What happens when someone has never sought medical help, but appears to be depressed or anxious or exhibits symptoms that resemble bi-polar disorder, for example? How do you deal with it, especially early in a relationship?
That raises a whole host of questions, for instance: how competent are psychiatrists and psychologists in diagnosing mental illness, especially "disorders" and "syndromes". (We do have a tendency to overmedicate).
What happens when someone has never sought medical help, but appears to be depressed or anxious or exhibits symptoms that resemble bi-polar disorder, for example? How do you deal with it, especially early in a relationship?
I have CRSD.....
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Hhhmmm... Well, I dated a man with a brain injury for 3 years. He was on medication, of course, because he experienced mood swings. At first, his family was there for me & we all worked together. Then, it got to be more like I was the "built-in babysitter" & they were getting free service. I was the one dealing with him on a day-to-day basis, but they would call me & "check in" on how he was doing. Then they wouldn't include me on the doctor visits where the meds could've been increased or decreased. Meanwhile, I was being mentally, verbally, & sometimes physically abused. In the end, it was just waaaaay too much to deal with. And I knew I wasn't going to put up with it for the rest of my life. He, after all, wasn't MY family, but he WAS theirs. Let THEM deal with him. 
Yes, I loved him & it broke my heart to leave him. But it was something I had to do for me & my well-being.
Yes, I loved him & it broke my heart to leave him. But it was something I had to do for me & my well-being.
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I can imagine that must have been tough...we all want to do the right thing....and sometimes obligation gets in the way of common sense....it's never easy to know what the right thing to do...in those situations...
sweetowen: Hhhmmm... Well, I dated a man with a brain injury for 3 years.
Yes, I loved him & it broke my heart to leave him. But it was something I had to do for me & my well-being.
Yes, I loved him & it broke my heart to leave him. But it was something I had to do for me & my well-being.
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sweetowen: Hhhmmm... Well, I dated a man with a brain injury for 3 years. He was on medication, of course, because he experienced mood swings...Meanwhile, I was being mentally, verbally, & sometimes physically abused. In the end, it was just waaaaay too much to deal with. And I knew I wasn't going to put up with it for the rest of my life.
Yes, I loved him & it broke my heart to leave him. But it was something I had to do for me & my well-being.
Yes, I loved him & it broke my heart to leave him. But it was something I had to do for me & my well-being.
Good for you, though, that you recognized that and got out even though it was a hard decision. ------ This thread is Archived ------
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takeit4granted: I wonder how many people would admit to having a mental health issue,,knowing how it may be perceived,,but knowing gives everyone an option
Read my archives of forum posts....
I have talked extensively of being bipolar.
I have dated other women with bipolar disease and would so again.
Mental health has a very wide range, but I would date pretty well anyone who had mental health problems, BUT are trying to maintain their health through medication and/or therapy.
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Depends on the severity and how well he kept it under control. If he constantly needed monitoring that he was taking his meds, then that might be too much.
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I don't have a mental illness... I do not believe. But if it was not all consuming, then maybe I could handle it.
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I don't have a mental illness... I do not believe. But if it was not all consuming, then maybe I could handle it.
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This is not to say we're all nutz, have been nutz or that people who aren't "on the market" don't have those issues. Just to be clear.
So then you meet someone and after you've established a preliminary relationship, they reveal to you that they're on 4 different meds to keep themselves mentally balanced.
How do you react? What mental health issues do you feel prepared to deal with, if any? Do you see it as a quid pro quo situation (i.e. I have anxiety issues, you're depressed, we both have issues, therefore we're okay type of thing)? Where does the mental health of your potential partner rank say compared to physical health?